Recuperating from 4 days of being sick since December 27,2016

Recuperating from 4 days of being sick since December 27,2016

tuesday december 27, 2016
after 8 pm leaving son's house after babysitting grandson
age 2 years 8 months
daughter-in-law who is a registered nurse
sees me and asks
are you okay
no. i was throwing up this morning, i said.
then why did you come over then? she asked

i didn't answer, couldn't, was too sick.
got home, thought about it later
i came over because i said i would
and i don't get p.t.o. (paid time off)
i only get paid when i do something
i don't work for the government
i don't have a "regular job" so i don't have "sick leave",
time off, paid vacations, health insurance, perks, retirement
savings, investments, social security or any other benefits that
some people get when they work for the federal government or
large corporations that include such things as part of their employee
benefit program
i can only earn money when i am well enough to perform the job
if i can't work i get nothing

that day i managed to have one small can of ginger ale and
half a can of campbell's chicken noodle soup and
5 saltine crackers

got home from babysitting husband said i looked terrible
he said i looked green. he asked
is there anything i can do for you
suggesting aspirin i said no aspirin
for anyone who has stomach problems
he said you shouldn't sleep in a cold room
my room is cold like the house
he turns heater on very low in my room
not too high
don't want to run up the electric bill

he burns wood in wood stove to heat house to
comfy 55 maybe 60 degrees
with large drafty windows above my bed and on the
west side of the room

i said i can get in bed with heating pad under my broken back
wear a hat (a beret) and cover up my head with a blanket
wear 3 layers of clothes, 2 pairs of socks and slippers on my feet,
a sweater over my arms, shoulders and chest
then i might be warm enough

following the nausea and puking came constant runny dripping nose,
sneezing, sore throat, fever, slept most of the time during days
since tuesday,
4 days ago,
ate very little.
felt so bad thought death was imminent

A billion dollars won't keep you alive.

A billion dollars won't keep you alive.

Being natural is the new strange and weird.

Being natural is the new strange and weird.

Feelings rule.

Feelings rule.

You're the only person I know who focuses on what you want to do and ignores the outside world. You're weird.

You're the only person I know who focuses on what you want to do and ignores the outside world.
You're weird.
statement from husband circa 2008-2010


Sarah Wilson Stillwell

Feelings rule and determine action.

Feelings rule and determine action.
Logic, intelligence, smartness are in the back seat.
Emotions rule, are top priority over all, override intelligent information, take precedence over everything, determine source of all actions.

Time and temperature rules all.

Time and temperature rules all.

I don't like seedless fruit or vegetables.

I don't like seedless fruit or vegetables.
Some seeds are nutritious and very good for you.

Appreciation, respect, realization of what is is necessary for balance and happiness.

Appreciation, respect, realization of what is is necessary for balance and happiness.

A marriage certificate means nothing if good feelings aren't mutual between both partners.

A marriage certificate means nothing if good feelings aren't mutual between both partners.

When I was a little girl it was called a Drug Store not a Pharmacy. And that is what it is: a drug store

When I was a little girl it was called a Drug Store not a Pharmacy. And that is what it is: a drug store.

Look at what is sold at the drug stores. Medicine, drugs, alcohol, prescriptions, makeup, food (canned, fresh, frozen dairy, milk, meat, vegetable,fruit,crackers), pet food, candy (lots of
candy and sweets),candy bars, cookies, treats, snacks (chips, nuts,dips), soda pop, fruit juice, sports drinks, cleaners, laundry soap, chemicals, liquor/wine/spirits/beer, shampoo, hair coloring, deodorant, lotion, cream. All drugs.  All chemicals.

Other items are available for the household including children's toys, pet toys, towels, blankets,
clothing items like slippers, automotive, items "as seen on tv" for sale, stationery
and greeting cards. Some drug stores sell lottery tickets, some don't.

Curb side pick up is available.
Online ordering is available.
You don't even have to get up out of your car and shop inside the store.
You get no exercise.

Drive thru prescription pickup is now available.
You can just sit there, calmly waiting to be legally served your drugs through a window.

Return to infancy.

Return to infancy. 

Can't file for disability because own more than one vehicle. Household income 58% less than 2016 household poverty level

Can't file for disability because own more than one vehicle. Household income 58% less than 2016 household poverty level

Yesterday I called a lawyer who specializes in social security disability claims.
The receptionist who answered the phone asked me many
questions to screen me and came to the conclusion that I could
not make an appointment to see the attorney.

She asked me how I heard about the lawyer,
Sharon J. Meyers -- I said Thrifty Nickel newspaper,
http://kansascity.thriftynickel.com/classifieds/social-security-disability-is-our-only-business-free-459745882.html
--
my name, date of birth,
address, telephone number, if I have ever filed for disability,
how I paid my bills, what conditions I suffer from, if I have been
seeing a doctor, what type of work I did
and the last year I worked at a regular job.

I have scoliosis and degnerative disc disease also known as osteoarthritis.
This causes daily ongoing back pain, pain in my right side, burning pain in
the lower, middle and upper left side of my back, pain in both calves of my legs and feet.

The doctor I was able to see this year-- I haven't
been able to see a doctor since 2006 when my husband
lost his job due to his boss/ employer's death and our
health insurance stopped-- starting in March, 2016
and ending this month December, 2016 said I have
a chronic condition with the scoliosis and degenerative disc disease.
It will not go away. It will get progressively worse as I get older.
He prescribed 4 things for those conditions:
heating pad
massage
physical therapy
tens unit
The only thing I have of the above 4 is a heating pad.

He told me I shouldn't lift more than 10 pounds.
I cannot stand on my feet for hours nor sit in a chair in one position for
long periods of time. When the back pain gets unbearable I have to lay
down, put my knees up and usually have to take a nap for at least an hour.
This is daily, everyday and has been going on for many years.
Every time I eat the pain in the right side of my abdomen starts
and feels like a football stuck under my ribcage then starts
gravitating to the left lower-middle and upper section of my back.

Neither I nor my husband has any health insurance.
We are not eligible to apply for medicaid at our age of 55 due to the
single fact that we have more than two vehicles in our household
even though our household income is 58% less than the 2016 household
poverty level of $16,020.00 for a family of two.
See https://www.healthcare.gov/glossary/federal-poverty-level-FPL/
This was determined by a woman I saw in July, 2016 who works
at Truman Medical Center East Hospital in
Kansas City, Missouri when I made an appointment and went to
see if we were eligible for Missouri medicaid.


I was only able to see this doctor because my daughter-in-law, who is a
registered nurse, was paying $75.00 per month for the subscription and any
services or prescriptions I needed. The doctor performed 3 blood tests,
gave me prescriptions for gastritis and duodenitis, exzema and black hairy tongue.
He recommended I buy some jojoba oil and CeraVe lotion for dry skin/exzema,
avoid foods and drinks that cause high stomach acid and
buy gel eyes drops like Systane Gel Drops for dry eye--which cost around
16 dollars at CVS. I got all 3 items but I won't buy gel eye drops again
and probably won't buy CeraVe lotion again, either. Gel eye drops don't stay
in my eye, they fall out and go on the rim of my eyelid and don't do any good,
unlike regular eye drops. CeraVe lotion was okay but is expensive, composed of
chemicals similar to other lotions sold on over the counter retail shelves and
not something I would want to use on a regular basis.
Jojoba oil seems to help alleviate dry skin but I found that using other
oils like coconut or olive work just as good or better.

Prescriptions filled and taken:
Pantoprazole sodium 20 mg for gastritis/duodenitis
Triamcinolone acetonide ointment ups .1% for exzema
Fluconazole 200 mg (an antifungal) for black hairy tongue

2005 I was turned down for the second time for social security disability.
I had an attorney who specializes in disability cases.

2001 was the last year I had a regular job. I have been
self employed part time since 2000 selling items on the internet.
Sales last year ended being zero $0.00 after expenses.

Last year I made some money for babysitting my grandson,
a little over $2,000.00.
The receptionist at the lawyer's office I called
yesterday told me I would have to have worked 5 out the last 10
years in order to file for disability.

Since I have not worked 5 out the last ten years she asked me
more questions to see if I am eligible to file for need based benefits.
She asked me what property I own.
I said I am married and my husband owns the house, it's in his name,
not mine.
How many vehicles do you have in your household? she asked me.
Three, I answered.
Three? You are only allowed one vehicle per household, she said.
How much money did your husband make last year?
What is your household income?
How much money does your husband make?
What does he do for a living?

I said, I don't know what I am supposed to do. I can't go to the doctor,
I can't file for disability, I can't get a job, I don't know who is going to hire me,
an old lady with a broken back and all of these physical problems.
How am I supposed to live if I don't have any money or medical care?

She determined I was not eligible to make an appointment to see
the attorney and suggested that
I call the Social Security Office to see if I am eligible for
need based benefits.