one of the last words she had for me. she said it standing in my driveway that day she popped in unexpectedly. she was about 85 years old at the time driving a red pontiac fiero car she and grandpa had bought brand new.
she had really wanted a corvette. the fiero was similar and cheaper.
Besides the dna I was born with ....my upbringing by my family is the most important thing of all. They were my role models, teaching me the many things they knew and learned in their lives.
My father and mother promoted, encouraged and displayed independent thinking. Entrepreneur and being your own boss. Working for yourself.
My mom's mother grandma Sarah wanted the best for all of her children, grandchildren and family. She was very much into healthy food, nutrition, exercise, working, keeping the house and yard and cars clean. Dressing nicely professionally. Using caution with the company you keep; choosing friends wisely. She said you will be lucky if you have one true friend in your entire life.
Grandma had ethics and was all about saying and doing the right things. Being honest. She said, "I call a spade a spade. I don't beat around the bush. I tell it like it is. "
I wanted to say something after grandpa gave his speech about her but I could not bring myself to go up to the stage and talk. I was afraid I would choke up with tears as I remembered the most important thing she said to me through all of the years.....
"Be yourself."
Just be you. You are natural. You are wonderful and great just the way you are, Sarah.....
Perfect public image
personally insane
My mom's mother
Church every Sunday.. nice cars, new house, new clothes and shoes. Status high. She said high class. Lacked formal education as far as i or anyone knew or knows.
5 marriages according to some, 3 verified by her own mouth. The first man i dont know his name and she said he was italian she was 19 or so. The guy whipped her with a hairbrush 3 days after they were married. She divorced him. 2nd man Paul Earnest Dringman she bore 3 children with, one being my mother Ruth Louise on May 14, 1939.
Dressed up nice. Put on the perfect angelic image. Socialize, shake hands with the crowd. Smiling, gracious, so nice.
As soon as we get in the car, the DEVIL comes out on her face.
She had this long list of things I should do, shouldn't do and what any other person on this earth needs to do, if they are going to do the right things
Every look on my face she analyzed. Each movement I made she observed, always trying to figure out what I felt, what I was thinking, what I was going to do.
A girl should do this, a boy should do that. A woman, a man have designated duties appearances actions..the things they ought to do and things they actually do.
She actually praised me to her friends, neighbors, family and anyone while I was living with her. Acting all proud of how "smart" she said I was. I did soooo so good in school. She told people that I made straight A's, which I did until I was about 13.
She abhorred what she deemed lazy, laziness, slacking. So did her husband, my step grandpa, LeRoy. both viewed relaxation and calmy eating and enjoying a meal as pure laziness.
She thought she could buy me something nice, take me somewhere and that was the best way to show me she loved me. Then she felt entitled to lose her temper over the most trivial things, screaming like a banshee over bullshit. Attempting to control my every move. Giving me lists of chores, lots of household work and yard work directed by her and grandfather. Shooting orders at me. One of her favorite times to shoot at order commanding directing me, assaulting me with a nasty tone of voice was during dinnertime, usually when dinner was about over with.
She shouted "Young lady, YOU ARE going to do the dishes!" As if it were some kind of punishment for some unknown thing I didn't even do. Looking back on it, I suspect it was my youth, my beauty, my good even keel mood, my kind nature, my joy and happiness and fun personality that really pissed her off because she was continually upsetting herself by dwelling on the ass hole actions of other people. Actions and bad things other people did in the past, 30, 40 50 years before hand that aggravated her to the max.
She coulnd't let go of the shit that other people did. How DARE them to be that way! They had no right to ever say or do anything to tick her off, to hurt her or anyone she cared about, loved, protected and sometimes adored.
However if she did not like someone then all the worst things that could be imagined should happen to them. They should flat out die, be tortured forever in eternity until their soul was extinguished, never to return to the god/devil energies of the universes.
"You should thank your lucky stars that you have all of this!" she often said. Especially if I felt sad over anything for any reason. I typically cried over the misfortune of others. That ticked her off. If she thought I was crying over my own misfortune that pissed her off as well.
It was like the little girl in the movie, The Exorcist.
I observe similar, the same behavior in my husband. I just wonder what she did when she was alone at home. How would I know since no one was with her? How was she, what did she do when going out to shop or at work or anywhere in public?
She was religious, a Christian. Methodist. Baptist. I remember going to Longview Methodist church with her and grandpa on sundays when I was a teenager living with them. That church was on the same road of the school grandpa taught junior high school children/kids. For some reason she switched to a Baptist church later. She had to have that image of being godlike, angelic, serving God. She even gave away money to religious organizations that sent soliticitaions through the mail. She thought it was the right thing to do. Maybe it somehow made her feel better by covering up her own sinful thoughts, words, actions and behavior of being such a total royal bitch a lot of the time.
Dry off areas after cleaning. Very important. She said Make sure you dry it after you wipe it off.
Her house hospital clean. Used alcohol to clean mirrors and glass. Top job cleaner, very strong. Lysol disinfectant. Tide, clorox bleach, comet cleanser, . Her hands were red drf cracked excema wore rubber or latex gloves. Used hottest water setting on water heater, scalding hot. Wanted to be sure dishes were clean. Washed them and pots pans in kitchen sink first with dish soap then put them into dishwasher so she was certain they were sanitized germ free. Used different varieties of dish soap: joy, ivory, dawn, palmolive. Cleaned all trash garbage cans with hot water and top job or other cleaning agents.
Sos pads steel wool. Spic n span granules.
She smoked cigarettes , Benson & Hedges gold using a tar guard sometimes, until september 7, 1967 the day she quit and told the story of quitting often to many people.
She WAS good at private personal talks with me. She liked talking on the phone to her sister ruth (florence) spainhour, girl friends not many one was jean bisgard in kansas, neighbor next door lavonne hendrix a sweet lady with 4 beautiful daughters and a very clean home and mechanic husband bill william hendrix and less often the lady next door on the other side the west at 527 stacey drive McGrath.
when a child I was so into the social group thing,
peers, aware of pressures around and thinking I ought to fit in
wondering what was I good at
what was my gift or blessing ?
since I didn't think I really had any special certain gift because someone is always better at me in any subject there is/was or will be...
and i wasn't the prettiest
or the smartest
or the best at anything anywhere
or prized by anyone
although i really admired lots of people, animals, plants, things and the world in general due my intense curiosity and astonishment at just about anything... wanting to learn and keep on doing it...
So I don't know if this is actually a gift or not. A curse or a blessing.
Is it true what she said?
she is not here anymore in this earth plane so I can't ask her what she meant as I so often did...
conversations with grandma were frequent, daily and so involved, intense because i really was trying to figure out life, understand what in the world I was supposed to do, who was I, who am I and who are all these people all around me and in the world at large.....why is this and and the other so special and highly regarded....
why are some disregarded, abused, even killed?
I still don't know for certain ..
Just found this obituary today!
LeRoy Mitchell obituary March 21, 2018 My step grandfather married my grandma Sarah Spainhour Dringman in 1951
https://parklawnfunerals.com/obituaries/mitchell-leroy/
Mitchell, LeRoy
November 8, 1926 — March 21, 2018
LeRoy Mitchell, 92, made the final table on March 21, 2018 at Research Medical Center in Kansas City Missouri. Celebration of his life will be on Tuesday, March 27th at 7:00 pm, St. Paul’s Methodist Church in Raymore Missouri. Officiated by the Reverend Pastor Monty Stratton. No flowers please, donations in his name, to the Veterans Administration or American Heart Association, would be a great way to honor him.
LeRoy was born November 8, 1926 in Kansas City Missouri. At age 18, he enlisted in the Coast Guard and served in World War II on the USS Knoxville Frigate #64 in the Atlantic. He was very proud of his service and told many stories. He graduated from Missouri Valley College in Marshall Missouri in 1950 with his Masters in Education. He met and married his lifelong love Sarah Spainhour-Dringman in 1951.
Leroy had a distinguished career in teaching and coaching for 57 years in the state of California and in the Hickman Mills and Ruskin school districts in Kansas City. He retired from teaching in 2007.
Pops loved to play poker and enjoyed his poker league and many wonderful friends he played with. He loved to travel and collect rocks. He was an avid gardener too. He was a brilliant man who loved math and science. He was a master of the Fibonacci Code and the golden spiral. He loved to do crossword puzzle‘s with his buddies at McDonald’s. Leroy loved to read and spend time with his “library ladies”. Poppy was an avid Chiefs and Royals fan and loved to watch tennis and his boy Rafa Nadal. LeRoy was quite the outdoorsman, he loved to fish and hunt. He also loved to coach, referee, and ump any sport. He also enjoyed “working out” with his buddies at the Belton wellness center.
Leroy was preceded in death by his beloved wife Sarah Mitchell. Leroy had no children and is survived by a very loving, blended and adopted family. Kenneth Mitchell, Shana Mitchell, Kody Mitchell, Paul Dringman and Myrna Lowe, as well as step grandchildren and step great grandchildren and many other beloved family and friends.
Leroy was a wonderful husband, stepfather, grandfather, coach, and a loyal friend to many. Poppy was a good man and will be missed terribly.
