Keep Me Off Disability: June 2026

Monday, June 29, 2026

Me . Seven. S. Sign. Born 7 7. Dad is 7-17-27

Influences. Upbringing. Friends. Relatives Taurus/Libra.

My Moon is in Taurus. No Libra in my chart. My mother Ruth Louise is Taurus May 14, 1939.

My mother in law Patty Patricia Ann is Libra October 4 ,44 1944.

Her daughter Malisa Lisa is Taurus May born. Ten years younger than me.

What makes one decide to stay alone?

Each individual is different. Some make the decision to stay alone with no partner, no spouse, have no children at a young age.

Some make that decision after many years, many relationships or just one bad experience with a partner.

Friday, June 26, 2026

Felony abuse. AGGRAVATED ASSAULT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

things he has done never charged with. I did not press charges or call the police

google search results felony charges

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AI Overview

Misdemeanors vs. Felonies – Criminal Justice Know HowFelony charges are the most serious category of criminal offenses, distinct from misdemeanors. They carry severe penalties, typically involving long-term imprisonment (often in state or federal penitentiaries), massive fines, and a permanent criminal record that can affect housing, employment, and civil rights.

Grabel & Associates

In Missouri, felonies are classified into five tiers, ranging from Class A (most severe) to Class E (least severe). The specific classification determines the potential punishment:

Benjamin Law Firm, LLC

Class A: Punishable by 10 to 30 years to life in prison.

Class B: Punishable by 5 to 15 years in prison.

Class C: Punishable by up to 7 years in prison and up to $10,000 in fines.

Class D: Punishable by up to 4 years in prison and up to $10,000 in fines.

Class E: Punishable by up to 4 years in prison and up to $10,000 in fines.

Joseph Hollander & Craft LLC

Common examples of felony charges include aggravated assault, kidnapping, grand theft, arson, and drug manufacturing or trafficking.

Wikipedia

A felony conviction can result in the loss of important civil liberties, including voting rights and the right to possess firearms. In Missouri, many serious felonies—including Class A offenses, dangerous felonies, sex crimes, and domestic violence—are not eligible for expungement.

Joseph Hollander & Craft LLC

If you are dealing with a specific situation, tell me:

What class of felony is the charge?

Does it involve weapons, injury, or property damage?

I can provide more tailored information about potential penalties or the legal process in your area.

7 sites

Criminal Law: The Differences Between a Felony & a Misdemeanor | Articles from Grabel & Associates

Examples of felonies include: * Manslaughter or murder * Aggravated assault * Kidnapping * Grand theft * Tax evasion * Perjury * C...

Grabel & Associates

Felony - Wikipedia

Aggravated assault or battery. Animal cruelty. Arson. Blackmail. Burglary. Child pornography. Copyright infringement. Cybercrime. ...

Wikipedia

Felony and Misdemeanor Charges in Kansas City Courts Explained | Home

Mar 11, 2026 — Missouri categorizes misdemeanors into three classes: * **Class C** The least serious, often punishable by fines rather than incar...

Joseph Hollander & Craft LLC

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Thursday, June 25, 2026

Aries

rash. no filter on mouth. rude. impolite. condescending. bossy. know it all. hypocritical. mean. raw.

crass. uncouth. bold, daring. risk taking. foolish.

won't take advice from anyone especially me.

gets thing he wants for himself and "for me"

easily angered aggravated

cant handle setbacks, slow drivers, anyone who does things the way they dont do it or anyone who thinks differently

self serving

will do things for people they think they can use and get benefits from

rarely compliments me or anyone

judgmental, critical of all but the self

Lose him/her the same way you got him/her.

something I read in an article

could mean since i was married when i met him

he will meet or already has another married woman

Money spending habits

ME: on health, nutrition, good food, vitamins, minerals, gym membership, clothes, shoes, soaps, laundry supplies, dish liquid, peroxide, bleach, baking soda, borax, fabric softener, cleaners, sponges, rubber gloves for washing dishes, deals on eating out once in awhile, cell phones, computers, printers, ink for multifunction printer, paper, envelopes, office supplies, pens, pencils, erasers, dry erase boards, rubber bands, paper clips, swim suits, dresses, shampoo, conditioner, hair color, nail polish, polish remover, deodorant, perfume,

HIM: car and truck parts, tools, flashlights, house and yard expenditures, appliances, washing machine, dryer, microwave, stove, kitchen table, recliner chairs for him, beds and mattresses for him, boots, shoes, toothpaste, mouthwash, junk snack food, anything cranberry, anything that says jalapeno or hot, sauces...barbecue, hot sauce, dressings, jeans, shirts,

He's a very light sleeper . I sleep deep

The slightest sound, smell or light wakes him up

Fingernails and toenails fungus.. large white spots on them I have had for a long time

removed all polish, he cut my nails a few days ago for the first time.

researched these large white spots and it is some kind of fungus

treatable with prescription oral meds or substance to put on the nails

it states the best method is to use oral prescription medication.

i used to get yeast infections vaginally frequently. the doctors prescribed creams to insert internally.

anyway now i am contemplating not using any polish, nail covers, press on nails.

dont use anything to cover up the real nails. i cant see what is there when they are covered up.

yeast and fungus overgrowth is common problem and is passed on from person to person, on the floor, anywhere i imagine

terbinafine / lamisil first choise for dermatophyte infections

itraconazole / sporanox esp effective for yeast and molds

my doctor told me many years ago those brown spots on my legs are called dermatophytes

i see more of them and some on my chest

this house is a moldy fungal spore filled horror

My ex Ed is covered with huge dark brown spots on his skin. Saw him a year or so ago without his shirt on. I had chronic yeast infections when I was with him

Current husband claims he has a problem with yeast fungal overgrowth.

I need to look closely at his skin and nails soon

Total change of identify, location, look is what I need

change name, the way my hair is, my social security number

any current or past info that could trace me

due to hh dom violence

I'm not sure if I have ever been with a gentleman

Wednesday, June 24, 2026

IMPOSSIBLE to deal with

Sunday, June 21, 2026

Ordered rolling file cabinet due to arrive June 24th

Walmart. 64.99. Will use it to put my microwave on top . Has 5 drawers and cabinet door on left. I can store pots pans books files office supplies.

Finally will be able to roll the microwave around easily in my bedroom.

Tired of old furniture especially wood that has no wheels and is hard to move so I can clean or just rearrange things at my will.

Next is a standing desk 40 inches wide that moves

Cvs June 19, 2026

Pneumonia vaccine left arm top and COVID-19 in my right arm.

My left arm is painfully sore still. It is June 21st. 201 am

They say it's a problem when

You want to harm yourself or someone else.

I am the harm myself suicide type.

He is the harm someone else type. Especially me since I happen to live here and am an easy access target to vent his anger and rage upon the world or any particular person or things he's pissed off about.

I suppose he would be better suited with a woman just like him who will punch hit knock the shit out of him over any little thing.

He gets mad wants to hit punch strangle me or people or animals

I get mad want to burn something or toss it in the trash or destroy myself due to the meanness of other people. I want to cry. Have cried countless times.

He rarely cries. He cried one time when I drew blood on my left forearm digging my fingernails in so hard I have very visible scars. He said he cried when he looked at the little bear I found at Goodwill thrift a couple of years ago and put it in his bathroom next to the bear he gave me back in 1990 or so.

Rarely does he have tears in his eyes. He has blind rage in his eyes most of the time.

Ugly Joe's his 30th birthday

2012 August. I drove him and daughter in law in his white Escalade to celebrate his birthday, age 30. I was the designated driver.

I remember the young girls bartending that night. He made a comment to the blonde very pretty bartender about how white her teeth were. She was reticent, a quiet personality. The other woman tending was rough mean acting.

The guy Dave Cervantes gave me his phone number.

I danced by myself in the crowd of drunken people.

14 years ago this August.

I don't know when my son started drinking alcohol. Not sure how old he was .

Didn't realize when he was 30 that he was drinking so much probably daily.

I was 23 in 1984 when I began drinking beer. Some classmate in the school I was attending for computer programming showed me how to drink beer. Prior to that I was shy and reticent, insecure, scared afraid of people.

I quit drinking in 2003. October. No particular reason. No one else's decision but mine. No pressure no promises no deadline no real goal. I just quit. 19 years of it.

Life has still been a bitch without alcohol. Nothing got better at home or with jobs or relationships.

The good thing that happened when I drank was I learned to open up instead of holding everything inside. I began to stand up for myself.

The good thing that happened when I quit was saving my body from alcohol destruction.

I wonder when he started drinking and when he's going to quit, if ever.

He's almost 44 and still hitting the bottle, bottles

I don't ...

Like your tone of voice, the words you say, what you say, the way you say things

Your impulsiveness, unpredictable storms of anger

Your habits. Eating constantly nasty stuff without thought of what you are putting into your body. Drinking sugary drinks all day then rum at night sometimes beer wine whiskey vodka

Your touching everything with your fingers absorbing chemicals then touching things people animals spreading it all over

You firing up lawn mowers weed eaters blowers power tools and using toxic yard chemicals bug poisons petroleum products lacquer thinner paint fiberglass gasoline inside the house without proper ventilation or outside when I am cooking laying out in the sun sitting on the porch or patio

Your using the same dirty black filthy rag for everything spreading god knows what all over the house

Your taking over whatever I do and blocking me from cleaning and whatever else I need to do

Saturday, June 20, 2026

They have in common

Husband and two ex husbands.

Although their public personality and physical body are different their basic core is the same

Egotistical
Have to be right and in charge
Sex obsessed
Dirty
Disorganized
Unable to communicate clearly
Think I should read their mind
Want to lock me up
Disrespectful to me
Have buddy male friends that are like them
Money is their God
Hold me back from higher education
Last two think and tell me I am stupid gullible a push over easy
Believe if a female looks at them and or talks to them she is available for sex
Constantly scanning every area for attractive women
Lie cheat and steal
Desire to screw every attractive woman they see in person in a magazine a movie a sex tape yet condemn me or any woman they know for having sex
Think women are inferior slaves
Treat women like dummies
Call almost every one stupid except themselves
Think they know it all have all the answers
Bully me and others
Only do activities they are familiar with
Don't dance
Rigid fixed personality
Take no responsibility for their bad mouth and mistakes
Blame me and others for their problems they create and fester
Refuse to get a higher education because they know it all
Believe they work harder than everyone else
Sneak around in secret doing dirty deeds things
Hate to clean up after themselves
Have little or zero empathy for others yet expect sympathy
Make sure they feed their face first with food they want while ridiculing or denying food I want

I tolerated way too much for too long

Friday, June 19, 2026

In and out quickly. Eats fast. Leaves fast when done he does

He eats fast. Walks away sits in recliner and immediately goes on to something else. Leaves the room in beginning or middle of conversation.

Doesn't like to linger, browse, take plenty of time to look

Gets things wanted in stores same old things

Speaks Says his piece one thought exits room never says I am walking off

Sex is finished exits area fast

Doesn't cuddle

Once he gets what he wants he is gone quickly

Brief phone conversations with me

Brief talking to me. Gets away fast

Will listen to his sister Dorothy my son Ricky for long periods of time on my landline telephone and when he is in person with them. Does because he doesn't want to pay for cell phone minutes on his phone.

Uses my landline for outgoing calls to neighbors his family, stores, businesses, government, Mike Lindells crap political things he signed up for,

Uses his phone for craigslist ads and short personal calls

Will call Kenny Gill on my landline talk for an hour

Tells me to shut the fuck up quit wasting his time and says I don't want to hear it all you do is complain. All you do is talk you don't do anything around here.

Thursday, June 18, 2026

Cleaning up after myself takes a lot of time

He begins being nice to me when it's time for him to have sex

After sex he leaves the room within a few minutes goes to his bedroom or sleeping area in the garage

Then returns to bastard state the next day and stays that way until he is horny again

Desiring sex with me instead of solo I mean because I know he gets horny in between our episodes and masturbates like lots of people probably do.

"Nothing like the real thing, it's not same" , he says when I say you and I can just jack off. You don't need me for that or anything.

He only talks to me about one thing at a time

With clear intent about what he thinks is important then he leaves

He detests conversation about variety of subjects unless those are subjects he is interested in and he brought up

Marriage and Business are for Adults

Medicaid office Raytown 2 hours today

Government and God: Mother and Father

Wednesday, June 17, 2026

Associations rub off

Nice stay nice around nice ones and remain nice

Mean mingle with the mean and they recognize each other fast

Nice becomes mean after associating experiencing meanness . If they don't learn to be mean around the mean they don't survive. Some commit suicide.

Mean rarely become genuinely nice all the time.

Tuesday, June 16, 2026

Mean scoundrel knows how to be nice

In public

Ladies and gentlemen vs the opposite

Qualities of the ladies and

qualities of the gentlemen

are similar as qualities of

their opposites are in the

Bitch vixen shrew females and

cad scoundrel rogue villain

Missouri medicaid office and ER at University Health today

Coughing this morning. Still exhausted. Left house at 208 pm. Back here at 852 pm

Hour at MO Medicaid office Raytown resource center. Paperwork and accurate information and instructions from lady there named Orel. Made appt for this Thursday 3 pm. Have decided to wait till after July 1st. She said is ok if I miss appointment. She knows I feel terrible. Orel got me a chair I am so tired and weak.

Drove myself to emergency room. Had nothing to eat only water and coffee. Fatigue sore throat. Weighed me at almost 115 lbs. Lost 5 lbs in 2 days.

98.4 temperature a fever for me. I am cold. Took my coat into the hospital.

Very nice staff helped me. Took blood swabbed throat. Checked for COVID-19 flu mono strep all negative.

Dr Bro summary is gerd acid coming up micros... Causing sore throat. Prescriptions for maalox and protonix. My grandma Sarah took maalox daily. She had ulcers like I do but had surgery for it

Sent colonoscopy order to my primary care physician Emily. My grandma Sarah had upper and lower GI tests regularly. I have never had either.

So I am so like my grandma. She had disc fusion back surgery when I was 5 or 6. Had slipped discs from falling down stairs.

I have not had back surgery. Can't due to osteoporosis bad. Probably needed surgery many years ago. Maybe the scoliosis curve would not have progressed to 53 degrees it shows on last scan .

Finally ate food when I got home. 10 pm ate beef frozen fries cabbage cucumber radish potato salad.

Nice nurse Sarah a real lady at University Health gave me some snacks after Dr was done analyzing my results. I did eat the fig bar and Lorna dune cookies but not the apple juice or graham crackers.

They told me to wait for 2-4 hours after I eat before I go to bed because it's causing the acid reflux while I sleep.

I have been eating right before bed almost every night for years. Must stop doing that.

It's after 11 pm now so I will have my dessert banana and 2 fresh strawberries then wait two hours before going to sleep.

I will read more of book after dessert. Book is The minds of Billy Milligan by Daniel Keyes. Billy was first person to have criminal charges removed because psychiatrists diagnosed genuine multiple personality disorder.

It is probable that many more people have it or had it and we're not diagnosed. Psychiatric field is relatively new compared to the history of mankind which has an origin still unknown.

People study history and guess when humans began. Science and religion have different answers

Now I am off to read a book. My favorite things. Reading and writing.

Don't bend over he said

And don't lift up your shirt. The personal trainer said recently. He's a religious christian.

Cover yourself up.

The husband says the same things along with don't spread your legs do squats kick your leg up in the air. Don't bend over with any low cut top.

Why?

They think about sex when they see the body parts. That's why.

Even when they see the face. Eyes looking certain ways, smiles, smiling, laughing, staring.,a long glance sideways or straight on.

They take it all the wrong way.

The really immature ones think just because a girl talks to him she wants to go to bed with him.

I wanted to do and learn everything

And can't do it

I wore myself out and hated to have to sleep

I need quite a bit of sleep and can't work long hours or days. I get sick and tired easily.

I did weird things like try to live on coffee and stay awake. It doesn't work. Worked at jobs heavy lifting automobile work painting houses hanging sheetrock carrying it and 4x8 sheets of plywood, carrying heavy firewood, doing ridiculous things for strong men not fit for me. Took long trips out of town with my ex husband working at festival all long days, doing electrical work out of town, mechanical work with him.

I tell my younger self I was a fool for even thinking I can and should do all that stuff.

I could not keep up with the guys men in any hard labor job. Lawn care is another I did.

I spent most of my life in the wrong jobs not designed for me.

My fragile body is why I can't hold down a wide variety of jobs or careers

I believed in the if there's a will there's a way and you can do anything you want if you try hard enough. Total crap thinking.

Scattered. Ill placed. The men just made fun of me and some sexually harassed me. They are trying to work and I was a distraction...a little female in the area all they could think about was sex.

This is why they don't want me around when they are working.

Penis brain takes over. It's nature. Any semi attractive female in the vicinity is a distraction. Especially if they see some leg butt boobs tit or mouth looking young shiny glossy lips pink or red even purple.

Still coughing and hacking up pale yellow stuff

Bacterial infection is what pharmacist at 9000 Walmart Metcalf overland park ks said the other day June 12, 2026 Friday

The st Luke's clinic woman in Hy-Vee raytown mo said I had a virus and it turned into bronchitis. I went there after being sick for 3 weeks. It began May 9th

Pharmacist at Walmart in Kansas said I can get services there once I am on Medicare but can't now on medicaid because I live in Missouri

July 1st Medicare is effective

Some people want your skills as soon as

They find out what you can do

Friday, June 12, 2026

He admires women who take care of themselves not him

Not the woman or women who take care of him

Take care of yourself first.

He admires women who take care of themselves

Food journey through my life

Lots of processed food since I was born.

Lots of natural nutritious food. If it hadn't been for the healthy food I probably would have been dead already.

Vitamins minerals herbs supplements.

Last night a video on YouTube concerning varicose veins told the truth about the cause. Processed food manmade seed oils lots of sweeteners eaten by millions of people causes horrible health problems.

Stop eating bread, crackers, pizza dough, cake, cookies, anything with white flour, baked goods, fried anything from restaurants or in a package, snack foods, chips. Don't eat any of the fake stuff.

Zero soybean oil. No store bought salad dressing, sauces, gravy,

Eat plain meat, fish, seafood, eggs, fresh vegetables and fruits.

Eating wrong food caused me to have bad skin, rashes, excema, acne cystic, gastritis, duodenitis, heartburn, constipation, diarrhea, eye problems, bronchitis asthma, vomiting, headaches migraines, severe mood changes, insomnia, daytime sleepiness and more.

Sodas sugar chemicals rancid grease dough salty snacks , culprits of swelling inflammation edema. My body fighting back trying to heal itself and recover from the poisons.

Bad food may have been the cause of my scoliosis and osteoporosis and arthritis.

My mom ate lots of processed food and drank sugar tea and Pepsi and Kool aid and soda. Her diet when she was pregnant with me may have formed my problems.

Wednesday, June 10, 2026

Cell phones, tv, radio, internet, videos, books, magazines all destroy personal relationships

When the person allows themselves to be distracted while in presence of people close by

It shows they are not interested in the person at hand. They'd rather chat on the phone or computer, play games or stick their face in a screen monitor or give all their attention to the radio television or some crap playing on the tablet, laptop, notebook or computer.

They ignore and shut out the person with them

They can't pay attention to more than one person at a time

Monday, June 8, 2026

Identifying a crazy person

https://www.google.com/search?q=how+to+identify+a+crazy+person&oq=how+to+identify+a+crazy+person+&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyCggAEEUYFhgeGDkyCAgBEAAYFhgeMggIAhAAGBYYHjIICAMQABgWGB4yCAgEEAAYFhgeMggIBRAAGBYYHjIICAYQABgWGB4yCAgHEAAYFhgeMggICBAAGBYYHjIICAkQABgWGB4yCAgKEAAYFhgeMggICxAAGBYYHjIICAwQABgWGB4yCAgNEAAYFhgeMggIDhAAGBYYHtIBCTE2Njk0ajBqN6gCELACAfEFkjyz4VMbD4o&client=ms-android-walmart-terr1-rso1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8#lfId=ChxjMe

I'd rather go to gym, parks, recreation, write, work instead of watch someone else do something I like

People often end up obsessed with media.

We are not born that way.

We learned through observation and experience to get wrapped up in some kind of something in the media that distracts us from real personal life.

Sports. News. Books. Magazines. Movies. Music.

Tv shows.

Face first. It's everything .Must look young good

Balanced face. Smooth skin. Tight blemish free skin. No wrinkles sags scars or missing pieces.

People love a good story.

When I think I got rid of the troublemaker(s) another one pops up

Sunday, June 7, 2026

He makes sure he gets what he wants. His priorities are

Songs go through my head constantly

A certain song starts usually when I wake up then a small chorus part of it goes around in my brain all day long.

The cure is usually playing that song a few times off YouTube then it releases and the next day or hour another song pops into my head

Today it's "the old man is down the road" John Fogerty

Closed minded and open minded. Him and me.

I feel like I have to write all my thoughts down. Always have.

Since I began a diary when I was a little girl. 9 or 10

Friday, June 5, 2026

NEVER get with someone just because they appear to look good and the sex is great!!!!!

Advice to my younger self and to anyone anywhere regardless of age.

Slow down. Take your time. Get to really know the person. Listen to what they say about other people and how they treat strangers. How do they get along with their family? How does he treat his mother? His sisters, brothers, cousins, uncles, aunts. Does he talk about and treat women differently than he treats men?

What do they say about these people behind their backs?

What kinds of associates, friends, buddies, companions does he have? What do they share in common?

This reveals their true feelings about life in general and what kind of a person they are.

The males I ended up with brag, are egotistical, not very clean about their body. They have disgusting habits like nose picking, picking at nose, toenails, petting animals, touching virtually anything and transferring the germs all over the place. Greasy handprints all over doors, doorknobs, cabinets, refrigerator, appliances, handles, furniture. Picking up the nastiest stuff on the road or anywhere and bringing it home and not cleaning things properly. Buying or getting used clothing and not washing it first. Not scrubbing their bodies properly. Some didn't even brush their teeth.
Sucking up pornography on paper and videos on tapes or dvds or on screen thru paid tv services.

Reusing old towels, paper towels, napkins. Sleeping in dirty linens bedding sheets blankets comforters sleeping bags. Throwing trash out in the yard. Leaving tools, equipment, anything laying around in the yard, the house, the driveway, anywhere.

Leaving and making dirty messes of dishes in the kitchen sink. Griming up the countertops, the bathroom sink, toilet and shower or bath tub and not caring that it looks black and stinks of rotten mold bacteria.

Ignoring whatever I say about hygiene, cleanliness. Causing bug problems and telling me it is no big deal to have flies, mosquitoes, stink bugs, roaches, june bugs, moths, spiders virtually any type of insect crawling or flying around the premises and inside the house. Feeding animals anywhere like tossing food on the patio, the middle of the yard and leaving bones where I walk so I could step on them. Tossing old cans of food in the middle of the backyard.

Not cleaning out trash/garbage cans. When the smell gets bad he cannot figure out where it is coming from so this one I am with actually sprayed furniture polish on the kitchen counters and expected me to prepare food on it.

They hate the smell of cleaners and disinfectants like bleach clorox lysol vinegar.

They/he sneak off to do dirty deeds like viewing hardcore porn when he thinks I am asleep or not around.

Body builder at the gym told me I was every man's dream. Other people say I am fit and in great shape

Last month in May this guy named Alex at the gym said I was every man's dream. He was very helpful and gentemanly to me, never making a pass or asking me for sex. It is one of the unwritten "rules" of the fitness centers and gymnasiums to not make passes at people.

Alex said my core was in great shape. solid.. he showed me how to use the bosu ball and several exercises

In April 2026 I took a walk north on crestview drive in my neighborhood. The neighbor, Mark hollered at me to come over up to the front porch and talk. His roommate named John said I was in great condition, beautiful and asked me what my secret was/secrets are. He asked "Does your husband tell you how great you look?"
I said "No. He hardly ever tells me I look good."

At another gym in April I went in and sat on the rowing machine. The man next to me on a machine said jokingly "Don't make me look bad" I said "What do you mean?" He said, "You look fit to me and I am afraid you will outdo me and make me look bad."

Mornings 8-11 am he leaves. I am getting up. I like to leave in late afternoon/evening.

Morning people/persons. Him. Grandpa Leroy.
Both intensely angry frustrated people. Drive too fast. Cuss out other drivers.
Think daytime is only time to do everything.
Never really relax.
When sitting in recliner or on sofa or in bed they are watching disturbing, challenging, tension causing thing like sports, news, politics, fighting, weather forecasts.
Pick fights all the time.

Can't too thorough deep cleaning of anything.
Focused on teeth brushing too hard and using lots of mouthwash keeping it in mouth not rinsing it out.
Clutters up any and all surfaces and countertops.
Expects everything they want RIGHT NOW.
Have no patience for anything.

Makes big messes out of practically everything.

Stuffs face all day long. First thing in morning cookies junk food then cereal with milk.
Snacks of candy bars, potato chips or other bags of crap, donuts, pastries,
GPA drinks pepsi cola, sweet drinks lemonade sugary, soda pops, fruit punch drinks, juices, an expensive beer, a hard liquor drink. Smokes a cigar once in awhile swisher sweets or a cuban fat one that stinks really bad. Eats snicker bars alot.

HIM drinks same sugar loaded stuff lots of different sodas dr pepper orange lemon lime and sweet arizona and lipton green tea all day long cranberry juice fruit punch hawaiian apple juice store bought lemonade. Drinks very little plain water then complains about phlegm build up in throat coughing hacking up. EATS sugary and salty snack trash all throughout the day. always buys pre flavored snack pack nuts that are covered with artificial flavors tons of salt and bull shit.

Both like to go out to eat especially fast food joints because they don't have to cook anything and they love the taste of overly salted and fake flavored stuff cooked in nasty unhealthy grease. EATs stuff without considering health benefits and what the food and drink does to them.

Belief is that hard physical labor and exercise and sex is a cure all for everything.

Opens mouth and says any rotten thing that comes to mind never considering consequences of what they say and never taking responsibility for what they say or do. Upsets me or others and says "It's not my fault". (It is never his fault..always someone else's). Calls people stupid dumb ass idiots all the time.

When going places that are supposed to be fun (the zoo, horseback riding, carvinal, festival, restaurant, walk in the park) it is a high intensity tension filled hurry up disaster with him/them being pushy forceful dominating and saying shit like "What do you want? Hurry up and make up your mind"

Hits me on the ass. Checks out butts and bodies and boobs of all females anywhere in person or not and makes snap judgments and comments on the condition of their bodies. "She needs to jog. She is a fat cow. That looks disgusting."

Thursday, June 4, 2026

Why men like the younger ones. Some older ones

First it is the looks. Tighter firmer body. Young face. Firm boobs butt skin face Cute. Pretty. Clean not much makeup. She tilts her head sideways. Gives that shy glance revealing her neck.

Quieter. Young girls women usually listen more

They are easy to convince teach persuade and con.

Some are too easy to get into bed.

Easy to use. Convenient. Had cheap or for free. Some girls will give in have sex just because he complimented her said something nice. And he never did anything for her or worked or gave her any money or material things.

The one he desires most is the one he hasn't had. Then there's the fantasy girl a virgin and the other dream woman is the whore who has no boundaries will do anything. He wants both. But after he has had her he gets bored. He keeps searching for that virgin and the perfect slut prostitute that will give him the ultimate best orgasms he's never had.

Younger inexperienced are more willing to please. Shape themselves into what he wants. Do his bidding run errands cook clean work. Go along with whatever he wants and likes. They are quick in their response. Apologize a lot even for things not their fault. Accommodating. Sit on his lap.

Take on his hobbies and interests and jobs.

Flexible body and mind.

They work on their looks and smells. Smell good clean and fresh. Hair is maintained well. Clothes fit good look nice. Outfits color coordinated. Shoes cute. Or barefoot.

They run jump play and bounce. They dance.

They smile a lot giggling and laughing.

A lot of younger women haven't set their ways yet and don't have many boundaries. He can take advantage of her much easier and fool her and impress her without doing much at all. An older woman who has been around is wise to his and other men's tricks. She's heard all the lines and seen what happens to other girls. She is experienced.

He wants one with hardly any experience or past so she can't compare him to anyone.

She therefore will think he is God and can do no wrong because she doesn't know any better.

If he is a brute bully abuser she puts up with it thinking it's normal.

He wants the experienced whore in private and doesn't want to be seen in public with her so she is just hidden away tucked into a room or place where no one else sees what he does to her. He does not take her places. He desires to do all perverted things to her but doesn't want anyone else knowing what goes on behind closed doors. He's embarrassed about what an animal he is.

His pretty little virgin girl is different. He is proud to show her off.

Some people don't want me to talk to some people because I tell the truth about what is going on

Wednesday, June 3, 2026

Lady. I call femals women ladies even tho they might be the opposite

I was calling someone a lady once my son said "she is no lady, mom"

Turn offs to me by men

these don't impress me much

rough gruff rude loud boisterous dirty dishevelled pushy forceful

bragging mouthy

overly built muscles, ugly mean looking face

forward try to get me and dont even know my name

flashing money cars things thinking they impress females

does dirty work and doesn't clean up

puts filthy hands on everything

stupid disorganized

stinky body and clothes

rotten teeth

eats nasty fast food unhealthy choices

eats without thinking and eats too fast like an animal

sticks fingers in everything

Tuesday, June 2, 2026

Young healthy fresh cute have and get it all

Water and clean up. Soap.

my grandma sarah would say there is no excuse to be dirty pig

you have access to soap and water anywhere

use it

clean up

RICH OR POOR. CLEAN OR DIRTY IS YOUR DECISION/CHOICE

He thinks you have to have money for everything when all you need is CHOICES

CONVERSATIONS OVERHEARD

Between Rick and Mike:

"Sometimes I get so horny after I haven't had sex in awhile I could fuck a farm animal", Rick said. "I know. Especially if it is sex with someone you know", said by Mike/Michael.

rick speaks openly about anything esp sex. revealing personal details of intimate relations with many women or any other sex activities in his life or his opinions.viewpoints.

====================================================

Ken/Kenny and Mike: watching some movie with sexy women in it

"she should understand that i get turned on by other women and if i had sex with her.." Mike said.

====================================================

Clayton and Mike:

"it gets worse as you get older" said by Mike
"you're the only man i know who is married and has a girlfreind", Mike said.

clayton speaks very openly about anything esp sex and has girlfriend(s) and is married.

=====================================================

public conversations overheard when they think no one is listening reveal secrets and the things people think about. strangers like me can sometimes hear what they are saying.

Monday, June 1, 2026

He tells me I look terrible expects sex may 30th

Oh it's my skinniness my skinny arms my saggy skin on my arms

It's called sarcopenia old age at 64 . Muscle loss. Inescapable.

I go to the gym work out my arms legs back whole body. But since may 9 when I got sick I have not been able to exercise like was using weights and equipment and have not swam.

120 lbs to 124. 5 feet 3 3/4 inches. Shrunk from 5'6 1/2".

I reminded him again I weighed 118 lbs when I moved in here. Oh he says but you were younger then you've changed.

He doesn't like my change or any changes of any kind.

So I told him he doesn't like the way I look. I don't look like a porn star or like I did. I never had big tits like he wants and I never will

So why would he want to have sex with me. Oh it's because we are married and that's what I am supposed to do. We've done it hundreds of times for almost 35 years. That's one of the reasons I chose him. Sex. But it was his personality that won me over. I could have great sex with lots of guys. Well his true personality came out around the time his mother mom left this house in the summer of 1992. Gradually it has turned into full blown Marjorie the bitch on wheels. And his sister Karen even worse. And his hideous dead brother John and crazy brothers Jerry Bill and Larry.

I said it's not that good anyway. He said would it be better with someone else. I said I don't know. I don't want anybody. I take care of myself and that is fine. I certainly don't want another childish immature male. All they do is cause me problems and make me miserable.

October is a good month to die

October.

The 9th was a wedding date in 1981 to Ed my second husband. We were 20 years old.

The 4th is the mother in law's birthday 1944. Mother of my second husband I married on 10-9-81 in Miami Oklahoma. She is 18 years older than me and him.

Divorce was final from him on February 4, 1992. His birthday is Feb 4, 1961

The 15th was the due date of my pregnancies in 1998 and another in 1999. Both were aborted. First pregnancy was twins. Second was a single. He insisted on abortion both times and accused me of getting pregnant on purpose. He didn't want to have financial or physical responsibility of raising the children.

He reluctantly paid for abortions and insisted I get my tubes tied which I did in 2000. He has been screwing me since the summer of 1991. I moved into his house December 15, 1991.

My friend Harold Shaffer was born on October 9, 1917

https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/110544334/harold_m-shaffer

It gets cold when October comes then is followed by months of very cold nasty weather. I hate it when October comes. I hate the cold, the snow, the ice and driving in it. I am stuck at home.

When we have snow due to living on a steep hill and neighborhood people get stuck on my street often, have wrecks and slide all over these streets here.

I get sick easily because the temperature drops. I freeze to death below 60 degrees.

October is a great time to be dead. No birthdays. Just death days

31st is Halloween hallows eve in remembrance of the dead.

It is before the holidays Thanksgiving and Christmas and new years eve and day which I never celebrate here with him or anyone. No one wants me around.

No family. No get togethers. No social gatherings. No life. Might as well be dead.

It's the gloomiest dreary time of year. Stuck at home with a man who hates my guts ruins every day especially holidays.

He hits punches me in the face jaw left side chin right before mother's day this year on May 7th. Never even mentioned mother's day.

He will get me a birthday card and put money in it but usually won't go anywhere. I go to restaurants by myself to eat my birthday coupon deals. If he goes he bitches about the cost and the food. Never plans anything. Never fun activities. Doesn't want to waste his money on experiences.

Same for Valentine's day. A card. Flowers this year he said he bought at price chopper a couple of miles from our house. I believe it was a last minute thought perhaps fueled by some guilt since he had bought himself a 15 thousand dollar car.

No dinner or any activity for Valentine's or the wedding anniversary February 21. 1998 was the year

February 24th he was on the phone or computer in his bedroom making a sex call to some woman which he flat out denies and doesn't know I have it recorded.