I have never seen her do any work. She just looks cute

 the girl. she is my son's girlfriend. kayla. 

kayla is single and said she doesnt want to get married 

she has 2 boy children by two different men like i do did. 

 he is married to my daughter in law. 

kayla just looks cute and sits there. she plays pool sometimes. sits at the dining room table eating or doing crafts. 

cooking? cleaning? working? a job? appearing educated with a career? no to all of these 

what are her talents. sex. squirting on video.   what is his strong attraction to her? why is he?

makes me wonder why i have wasted my time and life working, cooking. shopping. catering. cleaning. babysitting. studying. reading. wanting to go back to school college to get a better degree

when all i really have to do is be cute little and fun. and sexy innocent acting.

and i could have relationships or sex a ships with many men and never have to live with them or marry them 

then i would be treated like a queen

the one they cannot own or rule

they cant possess dominate control abuse torture humiliate ridicule

these guys would enjoy my companionship and give me time attention things and money and i am free of all of their bull shit jerk ways

if they screw up i disappear forever. it is that simple.

no fights. no divorce. no dividing assets. 

just take off and go on to the next guy who acts loving and responsible.

the minute he slips i disappear.

they would have no legal hold on me.

no rights. no entitlement. 

as it is marriage means he thinks he is entitled to whatever he wants me to do.

Tons of free movies to watch

 found on Tubi the other day. pluto tv and lots of other apps have loads of free movies and shows.

want to watch but i know i will not watch them all 

never will because new movies are always coming out 

if i lived to be 500 i could not see all broadcast shows. and most crap i dont want to see or experience anyway

i have a life to live. whats left of it. could be 5 or 10 years. dont know how much longer i will live.

i am going to guess at 75 i will be dead.

seems to be a common age to die around here.

might happen alot sooner if i cant see to get around. my eyes are doing funny things.

Stir ice cream with a spoon. Add milk make a shake.

 started doing stirring to make it creamy like soft serve when i was a little girl

6 Eggs in a pot

 when i was a little girl i had a little aluminum pot that held six eggs perfectly. i was so astounded and happy i told all my friends. they weren't excited as i was. 

i would boil the eggs until they were done. hard boiled eggs.

little did i know about 55 years later i would be doing the same thing in a different pot. soft boiled is my favorite. hard to do so they usually end up with nice yellow cooked centers never green.

and do a lot of frying over easy or basted in bacon grease and lots of scrambling. too . pan preferred but use microwave often for oe or scrambled eggs 

anything but raw eggs.

poached are very nice but hard to do in poacher pan over boiling water. dont have that type of pot anymore

My life is the best movie I ever lived

People should live alone. Once adulthood happens get your own place

 Most violence and other criminal activities happen right at home.

People get on each others nerves. They have constant control battles.

No one wins.  There is very little peace and hardly any love.

They are too familiar. They see each other too much.

Eventually they hate each others guts. Some leave for good.

Some commit murder.

Everything about someone becomes too much. Our habits , patterns. preferences, hobbies. friends. family. neighbors. jobs are all up for causing fighting and squabbling. Injuries in all ways. Physical, emotional. spiritual damage just from being around each other too much 

Same goes for work, jobs. careers 

Familiarity breeds contempt. And death  Death in many ways due to feeling trapped in a box with hungry rats and snakes. Vicious lions ready to attack at any moment.

That is why I left my grandparents home when I was 16. To escape hell and damnation. Daily fighting yelling screaming name calling prejudice bitterness hate contempt cruelty sarcasm threats.

And I discovered that everywhere I lived it was the same old shit. Everywhere around anyone I know it is the same old crap. 

Each job consists of the same control battles. the same gossip and slandering. The watchful eyes everywhere ready to cremate anyone for anything.

There is no peace on this planet in the presence of another human being ot their awareness of your existence. As long as they know you are alive they are on a mission to destroy you. 

Some are out to cut your throat as look at you. And if they thought no one was looking, if they thought they wouldn't get caught they would slit my throat in a heartbeat and not blink an eye. No remorse for murder.

Good riddance of bad rubbish they would think. Then smirk and laugh at what they had done.

64. Hated by my husband and family and anyone we both know.

 i suppose they hate me because i talk about him and tell the truth about what he says and does. they dont believe it because he is so nice and level headed when he talks to them. 

people are sick of hearing me talk. they likely think i am a crazy piece of good for nothing shit. they think he is this wonderful intelligent smart hard working guy and i am a spoiled stupid ungrateful bitch and i deserve to have the shit beat out of me 

no one gives a damn about me or what happens here. there is no savior, no hero. no rescue. no solution 

i look bad to others because i am here. most have said why didn't or don't you leave? they think it is that easy. it takes a lot of money to pay rent or mortgage and bills and buy food gasoline insurance clothes and anything else. and their other stupid suggestion question dont you have family you can live with? is out of the question. been there. done that. living with any other person is hell regardless of who it is. so is finding another man to marry. been there done that 3 times. too. and have lived with many others.