This is what happens when I am

 ignored, shunned. disrespected, called bad names, mocked, 

i feel like crap. act like a bitch. stay away from him. avoid contact. stay my room most of the time.

Why should I break my back to please? It's already broken and getting worse by the minute.

 killing myself will not please the unappreciative devils

it won't do any good to go out of my way to please anyone regardless of their inner nature

the only solution is to be myself, do what i can do to make myself happy and feel better. look good as a result of feeling good then that will please most anyone to see me be pleased.

i have tried all of my life to soothe the savage beasts. it does not work. 

Why Should I Feed A Monster? They just become bigger monsters.

 why should I care what he/she eats? he/she doesn't care about what they are eating and drinking. 

any info I volunteer about food, health and nutrition is ignored.

when he/she changes their food or drink consumption their personality and interests remain the same.

inherently evil or good.

Knowing a thing and keeping quiet about it is most difficult

Do we become the parent, the person who influenced us as a child according to the situation at hand?

 I realize I take on the personality of several people who raised me or whoever had influence when I was growing up. I think of my father, talkative, friendly, loud, open, generous, fun loving and honest. Coffee. Reading. He did not know a stranger. He associated with anyone regardless of status. These are things I do.

My mother, quiet, steady, ethical, intolerant of criminal behavior yet she lived in poverty area northeast kansas city missouri after the divorce in 1971 and she prayed for people, felt sorry for them and thought her model behavior would change them, save them and help these people. Like her mother, my grandma sarah, she was religious, church going, faith believer, held her head up high, always tried to look her best with matching clothes, hair done and makeup. 

Mom had strength in silence. Kept to herself most of the time. Great at saving money. Pinching pennies was the only way to survive in ghetto poverty where anyone anywhere, neighbors or strangers stole anything you had. She loved children, reading, writing, drawing, dancing, sewing. Vitamins, herbs. Tea. I also love those things.

Have I finally discovered/realized the same thing that lots of other people already know about psychology?

a person takes on the characteristics of influencers, of those who had power over us when we were children.

this insight might explain behavior of myself and other people. 

False beliefs he has

 His Back pain is caused by kidneys

Getting tired is the result of doing things, being active

Cows milk is good for cats and all humans regardless of age

If he can see my skin it means i want sex

If i talk to a male it means i like him, would have sex with him and he thinks i will

If i was around a naked woman i might want to have sex with her

He has his own definitions for words which are not congruent with the dictionary

The government offices, businesses, banks etc know all about him and history of what he has done and make decisions to rip him off

Certain ethnic groups and those immigrants from other countries are bad people and dont belong here

A person can be molded, changed if you know how to do it

I am stupid and think i know everything

I dont listen

I dont care about other people because i dont spend hours everyday watching and listening to alternative conspiracy theory news like he does

Most people are also stupid and need to wake up

Most people are brainwashed and dont know the truth

Good leaders knock some heads and use force to take over and be powerful

A child who has everything they need is spoiled and often lacks motivation and amounts to nothing

Back pain is horrible now. finished eating. living with norman bates

 730 pm, should be 830 pm due to clocks going back one hour lastnight

finished eating breakfast at 6 pm, just had 2 oatmeal bars and some nuts done at almost 730

havent gone anywhere since last wednesday. hardly any exercise. ate in my bedroom tonight. each time i eat in the kitchen/living room area he attacks me with news forcing me to watch shit like last night's attack 

...thinking about how i end up practically living in this master bedroom...just like, guess who? his mother who lived here when i moved in december 15, 1991 and she moved out in july 1992

i am reminded of norman bates character in alfred hitchcock movie psycho.. 

he was gone most of the day til about 430 pm then he fixed some salad ate it and the food i made by himself in his recliner and has been sitting in the chair with headphones plastered over his ears listening to probably the same old shit .. it is just like i am not here at all and the only times he deals with me is when he wants something, sex, a bill paid, a chore, to tell me how he thinks i ought to be, to do something, shoot orders at me, block me, stop me..

he called me a fucking idiot and stupid again last night. said i need to wake up and know what is going on in the world..did i know spain had a whole years worth of rain in a day recently..well that could happen here, our weather is fucked up due to man's doings..all the heat created from jets etcetera...