Not enough love. Found out this is why I can't handle stress very well. Explains health problems, pain, why I am an outcast at home, in the neighborhood, any job I ever had (at work), in my family, even at church where everyone is supposed to be accepted but everyone looks away as if I am not there.
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Thursday, April 23, 2015
I am a woman. I do not suffer from gender confusion.
I no longer think that because I could think like a man I can do like a man.
I can't do all of the work a man can do just because I can watch him do it
and understand what he is doing.
I am not a man.
I do not have a man's body.
I have wide hips, narrow shoulders, a small waist and thin arms.
I am 5'5" tall and weigh 130 lbs on average, give or take 5 lbs.
I am not overweight or underweight. Some people guess my
weight at 115 lbs probably because I have small bones and frame.
I do not have the triangle shape of a man.
I cannot and do not lift heavy weights.
When I was younger, in my teens, 20's and 30s I did lift things that were
heavier than I should have. I was younger and stronger and believed in
the myth of equality, that women and men are built equal and can do
the same things. I knew the typical man earned more money in their
typical professions, many including hard manual labor so I worked at
a few jobs normally performed by men including painting houses, working
on cars (mechanical work), electrical work, moving heavy appliances,
firewood and furniture so I could earn more money.
I could do some of the same work that men did but I did not earn
more money.
I ended up as I am now, a 53 year old caucasian female with a broken back.
Light housework, cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, yardwork (using a
small push lawn mower only), sweeping with a broom, doing dishes are
what I am reduced to doing.
I can't use a weed eater or a blower, they are too heavy for me to hold
onto and cause severe back pain. I can barely lift a vacuum cleaner to haul
it up and down the stairs so I rarely use one.
I no longer think that because I could think like a man I can do like a man.
I can't do all of the work a man can do just because I can watch him do it
and understand what he is doing.
I am not a man.
I do not have a man's body.
I have wide hips, narrow shoulders, a small waist and thin arms.
I am 5'5" tall and weigh 130 lbs on average, give or take 5 lbs.
I am not overweight or underweight. Some people guess my
weight at 115 lbs probably because I have small bones and frame.
I do not have the triangle shape of a man.
I cannot and do not lift heavy weights.
When I was younger, in my teens, 20's and 30s I did lift things that were
heavier than I should have. I was younger and stronger and believed in
the myth of equality, that women and men are built equal and can do
the same things. I knew the typical man earned more money in their
typical professions, many including hard manual labor so I worked at
a few jobs normally performed by men including painting houses, working
on cars (mechanical work), electrical work, moving heavy appliances,
firewood and furniture so I could earn more money.
I could do some of the same work that men did but I did not earn
more money.
I ended up as I am now, a 53 year old caucasian female with a broken back.
Light housework, cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, yardwork (using a
small push lawn mower only), sweeping with a broom, doing dishes are
what I am reduced to doing.
I can't use a weed eater or a blower, they are too heavy for me to hold
onto and cause severe back pain. I can barely lift a vacuum cleaner to haul
it up and down the stairs so I rarely use one.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
You are never a loser until you quit trying.
You are never a loser until you quit trying.
-- Mike Ditka
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
People like to share their experiences.
People like to share their experiences.
Their life, knowledge.
However we are, we love to share and expect others to feel as we feel.
Their life, knowledge.
However we are, we love to share and expect others to feel as we feel.
Grandma said "He needs to know that".
Grandma said "He needs to know that".
4-21-15
He needs to know that other men find you attractive.
10-5-2020 revised addendum
How can you determine someone's worth by how much money they make?
How can you determine someone's worth by how much money they make?
Babies born without a dime, have no money or material possessions yet are
priceless and worth more than anything money can buy.
Babies born without a dime, have no money or material possessions yet are
priceless and worth more than anything money can buy.
Inside out. Focus on the inside of you first and the outside will follow.
Inside out. Focus on the inside of you first and the outside will follow.
You don't need energy drinks. You need sleep when you are tired.
You don't need energy drinks. You need sleep when you are tired.
Look at the growing number of deaths of (especially) young people
who were apparently healthy.
Look at the growing number of deaths of (especially) young people
who were apparently healthy.
Get along. The most important thing we need to do is get along with each other.
Get along. The most important thing we need to do is get along with each other.
Lesson learned from a 19 year old male back in 1984.
Lesson learned from a 19 year old male back in 1984.
Do I own this stuff or does this stuff own me?
Do I own this stuff or does this stuff own me?
Do you own your stuff or does your stuff own you?
Do you own your stuff or does your stuff own you?
Monday, April 20, 2015
When you're poor you find out who really loves you. You learn about the kind of people who
really care about you when you're broke.
Fakers are the weeds quickly weeded out of your life.
Life becomes simpler and you can count all of your friends on one hand, sometimes only on one finger of that hand.
really care about you when you're broke.
Fakers are the weeds quickly weeded out of your life.
Life becomes simpler and you can count all of your friends on one hand, sometimes only on one finger of that hand.
Sin=mistake
Repent=change
Love=understanding, compassion, empathy (opposite of fear)=God, source, source energy
Fear=not understanding, hate, lack of empathy, doubt=Devil, Satan is a figure of speech depicting fear
Devil and God are not an actual single human being or representative of such being
that is commonly described in a horrific abstract way that is difficult to understand due
to descriptions that make it seem like a supernatural being that is "out there" somewhere
and is or was embodied inside of one living being, typically represented, idolized and
worshiped in a human form (because that is something humans can easily identify with).
The "devil" and "god" are present in each form of life as it is, coexisting within the being.
It is not some horned wild looking animal with a forked tail and tongue.
Repent=change
Love=understanding, compassion, empathy (opposite of fear)=God, source, source energy
Fear=not understanding, hate, lack of empathy, doubt=Devil, Satan is a figure of speech depicting fear
Devil and God are not an actual single human being or representative of such being
that is commonly described in a horrific abstract way that is difficult to understand due
to descriptions that make it seem like a supernatural being that is "out there" somewhere
and is or was embodied inside of one living being, typically represented, idolized and
worshiped in a human form (because that is something humans can easily identify with).
The "devil" and "god" are present in each form of life as it is, coexisting within the being.
It is not some horned wild looking animal with a forked tail and tongue.
You'll never figure it out no matter what you do.
You will not live forever regardless of how you live your life.
You will never "get ahead" in man's (the human) world. Too many people, too many
factors, too many places so what exactly do you think you are going to get ahead of?
When the goal is set you want it. After you accomplish your goal you don't want it,
forget about it or take it for granted.
Or it disappears through theft, becomes worn out due to its use and age, is outdated or dies.
Material things end up in thrift stores, landfills or graves and eventually disintegrate or dissipate.
You will not live forever regardless of how you live your life.
You will never "get ahead" in man's (the human) world. Too many people, too many
factors, too many places so what exactly do you think you are going to get ahead of?
When the goal is set you want it. After you accomplish your goal you don't want it,
forget about it or take it for granted.
Or it disappears through theft, becomes worn out due to its use and age, is outdated or dies.
Material things end up in thrift stores, landfills or graves and eventually disintegrate or dissipate.
Saturday, April 18, 2015
A minute's success pays the failure of years
"A minute's success pays the failure of years."
-- Robert Browning
-- Robert Browning
Thursday, April 16, 2015
People want to talk about anything but feelings. Physical objects in the surroundings, changing the subject to a thing that is perceptible by the 5 physical senses.
They don't want to face what they are feeling now. Instead they detract and distract
themselves with material things to avoid feeling emotions.
Instead of feeling their own emotions and admitting to them, it is more
acceptable to "watch a movie", go to a sporting event game, watch someone else
show their emotions as if watching from a distance gives them permission to
express their own.
We are taught to push true feelings aside
told not to think or feel that way
ignore what your gut instincts tell you
do things that "everyone else" is doing
go with the flow, follow the crowd
They don't want to face what they are feeling now. Instead they detract and distract
themselves with material things to avoid feeling emotions.
Instead of feeling their own emotions and admitting to them, it is more
acceptable to "watch a movie", go to a sporting event game, watch someone else
show their emotions as if watching from a distance gives them permission to
express their own.
We are taught to push true feelings aside
told not to think or feel that way
ignore what your gut instincts tell you
do things that "everyone else" is doing
go with the flow, follow the crowd
theory
theory
Theory - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary:
an idea or set of ideas that is intended to explain facts or events
: an idea that is suggested or presented as possibly true but that is not known or proven to be true
: the general principles or ideas that relate to a particular subject
140 ENTRIES FOUND:
theory
theory of exchange
theory of games
theory of internal relations
theory of numbers
theory of signs
theory of types
abstinence theory
Alvarez theory
alveolar theory
anticlinal theory
antithetic theory
approximation theory
atomic theory
attribution theory
auteur theory
Baeyer strain theory
BCS theory
benefit theory of taxation
big bang theory
binary theory
Bohr theory
bowwow theory
catastrophe theory
cauloid theory
cell theory
chaos theory
chemical mediation theory
chiasmatype theory
coherence theory
Popularity
Save
Dictionary
theory
noun the·o·ry \ˈthē-ə-rē, ˈthir-ē\
: an idea or set of ideas that is intended to explain facts or events
: an idea that is suggested or presented as possibly true but that is not known or proven to be true
: the general principles or ideas that relate to a particular subject
"Unboil an egg": a phrase about the
impossible, which is now possible. »
plural the·o·ries
Full Definition of THEORY
1
: the analysis of a set of facts in their relation to one another
2
: abstract thought : speculation
3
: the general or abstract principles of a body of fact, a science, or an art <music theory>
4
a : a belief, policy, or procedure proposed or followed as the basis of action <her method is based on the theory that all children want to learn>
b : an ideal or hypothetical set of facts, principles, or circumstances —often used in the phrase in theory <in theory, we have always advocated freedom for all>
5
: a plausible or scientifically acceptable general principle or body of principles offered to explain phenomena <the wave theory of light>
6
a : a hypothesis assumed for the sake of argument or investigation
b : an unproved assumption : conjecture
c : a body of theorems presenting a concise systematic view of a subject <theory of equations>
See theory defined for English-language learners
See theory defined for kids
Examples of THEORY
a widely accepted scientific theory
Her method is based on the theory that all children want to learn.
There are a number of different theories about the cause of the disease.
She proposed a theory of her own.
Investigators rejected the theory that the death was accidental.
There is no evidence to support such a theory.
He is a specialist in film theory and criticism.
The immune surveillance theory of cancer holds that in a way we all do have cancer, that a healthy immune system fights off rogue cells as they appear. —Sallie Tisdale, Harper's, June 2007
Theory - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary:
an idea or set of ideas that is intended to explain facts or events
: an idea that is suggested or presented as possibly true but that is not known or proven to be true
: the general principles or ideas that relate to a particular subject
140 ENTRIES FOUND:
theory
theory of exchange
theory of games
theory of internal relations
theory of numbers
theory of signs
theory of types
abstinence theory
Alvarez theory
alveolar theory
anticlinal theory
antithetic theory
approximation theory
atomic theory
attribution theory
auteur theory
Baeyer strain theory
BCS theory
benefit theory of taxation
big bang theory
binary theory
Bohr theory
bowwow theory
catastrophe theory
cauloid theory
cell theory
chaos theory
chemical mediation theory
chiasmatype theory
coherence theory
Popularity
Save
Dictionary
theory
noun the·o·ry \ˈthē-ə-rē, ˈthir-ē\
: an idea or set of ideas that is intended to explain facts or events
: an idea that is suggested or presented as possibly true but that is not known or proven to be true
: the general principles or ideas that relate to a particular subject
"Unboil an egg": a phrase about the
impossible, which is now possible. »
plural the·o·ries
Full Definition of THEORY
1
: the analysis of a set of facts in their relation to one another
2
: abstract thought : speculation
3
: the general or abstract principles of a body of fact, a science, or an art <music theory>
4
a : a belief, policy, or procedure proposed or followed as the basis of action <her method is based on the theory that all children want to learn>
b : an ideal or hypothetical set of facts, principles, or circumstances —often used in the phrase in theory <in theory, we have always advocated freedom for all>
5
: a plausible or scientifically acceptable general principle or body of principles offered to explain phenomena <the wave theory of light>
6
a : a hypothesis assumed for the sake of argument or investigation
b : an unproved assumption : conjecture
c : a body of theorems presenting a concise systematic view of a subject <theory of equations>
See theory defined for English-language learners
See theory defined for kids
Examples of THEORY
a widely accepted scientific theory
Her method is based on the theory that all children want to learn.
There are a number of different theories about the cause of the disease.
She proposed a theory of her own.
Investigators rejected the theory that the death was accidental.
There is no evidence to support such a theory.
He is a specialist in film theory and criticism.
The immune surveillance theory of cancer holds that in a way we all do have cancer, that a healthy immune system fights off rogue cells as they appear. —Sallie Tisdale, Harper's, June 2007
conspiracy
conspiracy
Conspiracy | Define Conspiracy at Dictionary.com:
1.
the act of conspiring.
2.
an evil, unlawful, treacherous, or surreptitious plan formulated in secret by two or more persons; plot.
3.
a combination of persons for a secret, unlawful, or evil purpose:
He joined the conspiracy to overthrow the government.
4.
Law. an agreement by two or more persons to commit a crime, fraud, or other wrongful act.
5.
any concurrence in action; combination in bringing about a given result.
Origin of conspiracy
Middle English
Anglo-French
1325-1375
1325-75; Middle English conspiracie, probably < Anglo-French; see conspire, -acy; replacing Middle English conspiracioun; see conspiration
Related forms
conspirative, adjective
conspiratorial
[kuh n-spir-uh-tawr-ee-uh l, -tohr-] (Show IPA), conspiratory, adjective
conspiratorially, adverb
nonconspiratorial, adjective
preconspiracy, noun, plural preconspiracies.
Synonyms
1. collusion, sedition. 2. Conspiracy, plot, intrigue, cabal all refer to surreptitious or covert schemes to accomplish some end, most often an evil one. A conspiracy usually involves a group entering into a secret agreement to achieve some illicit or harmful objective: a vicious conspiracy to control prices.A plot is a carefully planned secret scheme, usually by a small number of persons, to secure sinister ends: a plot to seize control of a company.An intrigue usually involves duplicity and deceit aimed at achieving either personal advantage or criminal or treasonous objectives: the petty intrigues of civil servants. Cabal refers either to a plan by a small group of highly-placed persons to overthrow or control a government, or to the group of persons themselves: a cabal of powerful lawmakers.
Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2015.
Cite This Source
Examples from the web for conspiracy
conspiracy theorists will insist that an entire population was banished to a faraway island, where they step-danced to oblivion.
But others said that there was no conspiracy to unearth, and that the case represented merely a unique instance of bad judgment.
In addition, she said, conspiracy theories have become popular.
British Dictionary definitions for conspiracy
conspiracy
/kənˈspɪrəsɪ/
noun (pl) -cies
1.
a secret plan or agreement to carry out an illegal or harmful act, esp with political motivation; plot
2.
the act of making such plans in secret
Derived Forms
conspirator, noun
conspiratorial (kənˌspɪrəˈtɔːrɪəl), conspiratory, adjective
conspiratorially, adverb
Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 2012 Digital Edition
© William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins
Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2012
Cite This Source
Word Origin and History for conspiracy
n.
mid-14c., from Anglo-French conspiracie, Old French conspiracie "conspiracy, plot," from Latin conspirationem (nominative conspiratio) "agreement, union, unanimity," noun of action from conspirare (see conspire); earlier in same sense was conspiration (early 14c.), from French conspiration (13c.), from Latin conspirationem. An Old English word for it was facengecwis. As a term in law, from 1863. Conspiracy theory is from 1909.
Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper
Conspiracy | Define Conspiracy at Dictionary.com:
1.
the act of conspiring.
2.
an evil, unlawful, treacherous, or surreptitious plan formulated in secret by two or more persons; plot.
3.
a combination of persons for a secret, unlawful, or evil purpose:
He joined the conspiracy to overthrow the government.
4.
Law. an agreement by two or more persons to commit a crime, fraud, or other wrongful act.
5.
any concurrence in action; combination in bringing about a given result.
Origin of conspiracy
Middle English
Anglo-French
1325-1375
1325-75; Middle English conspiracie, probably < Anglo-French; see conspire, -acy; replacing Middle English conspiracioun; see conspiration
Related forms
conspirative, adjective
conspiratorial
[kuh n-spir-uh-tawr-ee-uh l, -tohr-] (Show IPA), conspiratory, adjective
conspiratorially, adverb
nonconspiratorial, adjective
preconspiracy, noun, plural preconspiracies.
Synonyms
1. collusion, sedition. 2. Conspiracy, plot, intrigue, cabal all refer to surreptitious or covert schemes to accomplish some end, most often an evil one. A conspiracy usually involves a group entering into a secret agreement to achieve some illicit or harmful objective: a vicious conspiracy to control prices.A plot is a carefully planned secret scheme, usually by a small number of persons, to secure sinister ends: a plot to seize control of a company.An intrigue usually involves duplicity and deceit aimed at achieving either personal advantage or criminal or treasonous objectives: the petty intrigues of civil servants. Cabal refers either to a plan by a small group of highly-placed persons to overthrow or control a government, or to the group of persons themselves: a cabal of powerful lawmakers.
Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2015.
Cite This Source
Examples from the web for conspiracy
conspiracy theorists will insist that an entire population was banished to a faraway island, where they step-danced to oblivion.
But others said that there was no conspiracy to unearth, and that the case represented merely a unique instance of bad judgment.
In addition, she said, conspiracy theories have become popular.
British Dictionary definitions for conspiracy
conspiracy
/kənˈspɪrəsɪ/
noun (pl) -cies
1.
a secret plan or agreement to carry out an illegal or harmful act, esp with political motivation; plot
2.
the act of making such plans in secret
Derived Forms
conspirator, noun
conspiratorial (kənˌspɪrəˈtɔːrɪəl), conspiratory, adjective
conspiratorially, adverb
Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 2012 Digital Edition
© William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins
Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2012
Cite This Source
Word Origin and History for conspiracy
n.
mid-14c., from Anglo-French conspiracie, Old French conspiracie "conspiracy, plot," from Latin conspirationem (nominative conspiratio) "agreement, union, unanimity," noun of action from conspirare (see conspire); earlier in same sense was conspiration (early 14c.), from French conspiration (13c.), from Latin conspirationem. An Old English word for it was facengecwis. As a term in law, from 1863. Conspiracy theory is from 1909.
Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper
Etymology
Etymology
Etymology | Define Etymology at Dictionary.com:
noun, plural etymologies.
1.
the derivation of a word.
Synonyms: word origin, word source, derivation, origin.
2.
a chronological account of the birth and development of a particular word or element of a word, often delineating its spread from one language to another and its evolving changes in form and meaning.
Synonyms: word history, word lore, historical development.
3.
the study of historical linguistic change, especially as manifested in individual words.
Etymology | Define Etymology at Dictionary.com:
noun, plural etymologies.
1.
the derivation of a word.
Synonyms: word origin, word source, derivation, origin.
2.
a chronological account of the birth and development of a particular word or element of a word, often delineating its spread from one language to another and its evolving changes in form and meaning.
Synonyms: word history, word lore, historical development.
3.
the study of historical linguistic change, especially as manifested in individual words.
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Saturday, April 11, 2015
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Monday, April 6, 2015
Perfect ideal job, occupation, career, hobby or any activity that allows me to accomplish goals and get things done and finish what I start includes and requires
freedom, meditation, focusing, reflecting, relaxing, concentrating on the task or idea at the moment
not multitasking, scattering of thoughts and activities, being interrupted and unable to
complete a thought or activity.
freedom, meditation, focusing, reflecting, relaxing, concentrating on the task or idea at the moment
not multitasking, scattering of thoughts and activities, being interrupted and unable to
complete a thought or activity.
Saturday, April 4, 2015
Words and thoughts are matter. Words and thoughts have weight.
Words and thoughts are matter. Words and thoughts have weight.
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