Keep Me Off Disability: August 2022

Hemlock Poisoning Socrates was put to death with hemlock What is poison hemlock? The poison hemlock (Conium maculatum L.) is a dangerous plant that grows throughout the United States. The hemlock plant has white flowers that grow in clusters, and the stem has purple spots. This plant can grow up to 9 feet tall. It was initially brought over from Europe as a garden plant. Hemlock typically grows in the spring, but in some locations it can grow as year-round. Hemlock poisoning occurs after ingesting any part of the plant, such as the seeds, flowers, leaves, or fruits. All parts of this plant contain toxic alkaloids that can be fatal even in small amounts. The alkaloids can affect nerve impulse transmission to your muscles, eventually killing you through respiratory failure. Even touching this plant may cause a skin reaction in some people. To date, there is no antidote. The leaves are particularly poisonous in the spring, up until it produces flowers. The roots of poison hemlock can easily be mistaken for wild parsnips, while the leaves can be mistaken for parsley. This is the primary culprit for accidental poisoning. Poison hemlock is often found on roadsides, in waste areas and near fences. It can be mixed in with harmless plants in pastures and crops, making this plant particularly dangerous to livestock. However, its unpleasant, musty odor usually causes animals to avoid it unless there is no other foliage or feed available to eat. Poison hemlock is also known as: deadly hemlock poison parsley California fern spotted hemlock Hemlock poisoning symptoms Symptoms of hemlock poisoning can appear anywhere between 30 minutes to hours after ingesting the plant. The severity of your symptoms greatly depends on how much of the plant is in your system and the toxicity of the plant at its time of growth. Common symptoms of hemlock poisoning may include: trembling burning in the digestive tract increased salivation dilated pupils muscle pain muscle weakness or muscle paralysis rapid heart rate followed by a decreased heart rate loss of speech convulsions unconsciousness or coma In more severe cases, ingesting this plant can cause serious health issues. Complications from hemlock poisoning include: central nervous system depression respiratory failure acute rhabdomyolysis, or breakdown of damaged skeletal muscle acute renal failure death If you begin to experience any adverse reactions after touching, tasting, or eating a poison hemlock plant, seek immediate medical attention. Treating hemlock poisoning To date, there is no antidote for hemlock poisoning. Treatment depends on the severity of your condition and your symptoms. If you’re having difficulty breathing, your doctor will look for ways to secure your airway and may assist with ventilation. Your doctor will also try to decontaminate your gastrointestinal tract in order to remove the hemlock from your system. If you begin to experience seizures, you may be treated with antiseizure medication to lessen symptoms. You may also be treated with fluids intravenously to prevent dehydration and restore nutrient levels. How to prevent hemlock poisoning Removing this plant is the primary method of prevention. Experts recommend digging out small patches to remove them, being sure to remove the root. Cutting or mowing hemlock plants can cause them to resprout and emit toxic fumes if they’ve already matured. Don’t burn these plants. The fumes can trigger asthma symptoms and increase your risk of developing a reaction. You can also use herbicides to kill hemlock plants, but they are useless after hemlocks have sprouted flowers. The best time to use herbicides is in the late fall or early spring, right as the plants begin to grow. Before interacting with poison hemlock plants, wear gloves, face masks, and other protective clothing to prevent an adverse reaction. After removing hemlock, place the plants in a plastic bag before throwing them in the trash to avoid further contamination.

The Psychology of Scapegoating

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201312/the-psychology-scapegoating#:~:text=A%20scapegoat%20usually%20implies%20a%20person%20or%20group%2C,witches%20in%20medi%C3%A6val%20Europe%2C%20are%20quite%20literally%20demonized.

Narcs have no concern for any other person's feelings and push a person to the limit in any way they can

Patience has reached the summit

My younger self believed imagined someone really cared about me my life needs and wants

My self now knows this is the farthest thing from the truth

What is Verbal Abuse?

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-recognize-verbal-abuse-bullying-4154087

What Is Verbal Abuse?

Verbal abuse is a type of emotional abuse. It is when someone uses their words to assault, dominate, ridicule, manipulate, and/or degrade another person and negatively impact that person's psychological health. Verbal abuse is a means of to controlling and maintaining power over another person.1

Most people assume that if they were being verbally abused they would know about it. After all, verbal abuse often involves yelling, put-downs, name-calling, and belittling behaviors. But there is more to verbal abuse than people realize. Some people are verbally abused on a regular basis without even recognizing that it’s happening.2

Verbal abuse can occur in any type of relationship: romantic relationships, parent-child relationships, family relationships, and co-worker relationships.

Verbal abuse sometimes precedes physical abuse; however, this is not always the case. Verbal abuse can exist without physical abuse. The effects of verbal abuse can be just as damaging as those of physical abuse.1

This article covers what verbal abuse is, the signs and impact of verbal abuse, as well as how to seek help if you are coping with the effects of verbal abuse.

1:38

Click Play to Learn More About Verbal Abuse

This video has been medically reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS.

Signs of Verbal Abuse

Victims of verbal abuse often question whether or not what they are experiencing is truly abusive. They also wonder whether or not it is a big deal.

Here are some signs that a family member, friend, peer, or dating partner is verbally abusive:1

They call you names. Anytime someone engages in name-calling, it is a form of verbal abuse. Even if the names are said in a neutral voice, this is not an acceptable treatment of another person.

They use words to shame you. Examples include critical, sarcastic, or mocking words that are meant to put you down. These may be comments about the way you dress or talk, or your intelligence. Basically, shaming is any comment that makes you feel inferior or ashamed of who you are.

They make jokes at your expense. Typically, verbally abusive people will make you the butt of their jokes. This can be done in private or in person. But if you don't find it funny, then it is not harmless fun. What's more, verbally abusive people usually select jokes that attack an area where you feel vulnerable or weak.

They humiliate you in public. When you are insulted in public by a peer, a friend, a family member, or a dating partner, this can be particularly painful.

They criticize you. Whether in public or in private, criticism can be painful, particularly if the person is simply being mean and has no intention of being constructive.

They yell, scream, or swear at you. Any time someone yells or curses at you, this is a display of power and the goal is to control and intimidate you into submission. As a result, it is abusive and should not be tolerated or excused.

They make threats. No threat should ever be taken lightly. When people make threats, they are trying to control and manipulate you. Remember, there is no better way to control someone than to make them fearful in some way.

The goal of the abuser is to control you by making you feel bad about who you are.

Types of Verbal Abuse

When someone is being verbally abused, the person attacking them may use overt forms of abuse like engaging in name-calling and making threats, but also more insidious methods like gaslighting or constantly correcting, interrupting, putting down, and demeaning them.

Even prolonged silent treatment is a form of verbal abuse. When this happens, the person is attempting to control and punish the victim by refusing to talk to them.

For some people, especially those who either experience verbal abuse in the home or experienced it as a child, it can often be overlooked because the verbal assaults feel like a normal way to communicate. But they are anything but normal and can have lasting consequences.

Verbal abuse can take a number of different forms, including:

Blaming: Making the victim believe they are responsible for the abusive behavior or that they bring the verbal abuse upon themselves3

Criticism: Harsh and persistent remarks that are meant to make the person feel bad about themselves and are not constructive, but deliberate and hurtful

Gaslighting: A type of insidious, and sometimes covert, emotional abuse where the abuser makes the target question their judgments and reality4

Judging: Looking down on the victim, not accepting them for who they are, or holding them to unrealistic expectations5

Name-calling: Abusive, derogatory language, or insults that chip away at the target’s self-esteem, sense of self-worth, and self-concept

Threats: Statements meant to frighten, control, and manipulate the victim into compliance1

Withholding: A refusal to give affection or attention, including talking to you, looking at you, or even being in the same room with you6

While not an exhaustive list, these are several examples of the common types of verbal abuse that can occur.

Impact of Verbal Abuse

Verbal abuse can impact every element of life, from academic performance to relationships to success at work. Just like any other form of abuse or bullying, verbal abuse has both short- and long-term consequences, including:

Anxiety

Changes in mood

Chronic stress

Decreased self-esteem3

Depression

Feelings of shame, guilt, and hopelessness

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)7

Social withdrawal and isolation8

Substance use

When verbal abuse is particularly severe, it can impact whether or not people can see themselves as being successful in any area of life. Those who experience verbal abuse as children may experience feelings of worthlessness, difficulty trusting others, and problems regulating their emotions as adults.

A number of studies have shown that children who are verbally abused, either at home or by their peers at school, are at a greater risk for depression and anxiety as adults.9

It is not uncommon for a person who is verbally abused to feel inadequate, stupid, and worthless. In some cases. they are explicitly told they are these things by the person abusing them.

Verbal abuse can be particularly confusing because the partner may not be abusive all of the time and their behavior likely emerged slowly over time. In this way, verbal abuse can be insidious and subtle.

As a result, when the abuser is loving and gentle, the victim can forget about the negative behavior. Ultimately, the victim ends up ignoring the pattern of verbal abuse or makes excuses for the behavior, saying that the abuser is just stressed or going through a tough time right now.

What to Do About Verbal Abuse

The first step in dealing with verbal abuse is to recognize the abuse. If you were able to identify any type of verbal abuse in your relationship, it's important to acknowledge that first and foremost.

By being honest about what you are experiencing, you can begin to take steps to regain control. While you need to consider your individual situation and circumstances, these tips can help if you find yourself in a verbally abusive relationship.

Set Boundaries

Firmly tell the verbally abusive person that they may no longer criticize, judge or shame you, name-call, threaten you, and so on. Then, tell them what will happen if they continue this abusive behavior.

For instance, tell them that if they scream or swear at you, the conversation will be over and you will leave the room. The key is to follow through; don't set boundaries you have no intention of keeping.

Limit Exposure

If possible, take time away from the verbally abusive person and spend time with people who love and support you. Limiting exposure with the person can give you space to reevaluate your relationship. Surrounding yourself with a network of friends and family will help you feel less lonely and isolated and remind you of what a healthy relationship should look like.

End the Relationship

If there are no signs that the verbal abuse will end, or that the person has any intention of working on their behavior, you will likely need to take steps to end the relationship.

Before doing so, share your thoughts and ideas with a trusted friend, family member, or counselor. You may also want to come up with a safety plan in case the abuse escalates when you break things off.

Seek Help

Healing from a verbally abusive relationship may not be something you can do on your own. Reach out to trusted loved ones for support, and consider talking to a therapist who can help you process your emotions and develop healthy coping skills for dealing with the short- and long-term consequences of verbal abuse.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

A Word From Verywell

Although the effects of verbal abuse can be significant, there is still hope. Once a person recognizes verbal abuse in their lives, they can start making informed decisions about which friendships and dating relationships are healthy and which are toxic, fake, or abusive. They also can learn to stand up to verbal bullying.

Remember, verbal abuse doesn't have to leave a lasting impact. With intervention, victims can overcome and cope with the bullying they have experienced.

How to Identify and Cope With Emotional Abuse

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

How should you respond to verbal abuse?

Try to call out the abuse when it happens by requesting the person stop the behavior. If they don't listen, safely remove yourself from the situation. Consider limiting your interactions with this person and/or ending the relationship.

How do you recover from verbal abuse?

The first step is to put an end to the verbal abuse you're experiencing. Seek the help of a qualified mental healthcare professional, and confide in trusted family and friends. With support, you can recover from verbal abuse.

It's really all about you, isn't it ?

Swimming in the water pool lake ocean anywhere does not require makeup. I don't have any on 99 percent of the time

Friday, August 26, 2022

Stinking thinking ruins lives

Eat My Dust

Approval and acceptance of myself is all that I need. Being true to the self. Not trying to please everyone.

I know that I don't know (everything) or know it all. Networking is unity universe and this world

Slipping sugar and artificial sweeteners flavorings colors into food and beverages..............

Simply slipping

sneaking

adding

hiding

sugar sweeteners

flour

cheap ingredients

charging a lot of money for this crap

people want things that TASTE good

once in the system it can become addictive and cause cravings

Food Corps continually coming up with fake flavored and sweet drinks to make tons of money

I don't know anything because I don't follow everything he or she follows.

I don't know anything because I don't follow everything he or she follows. This is how I am treated. I have no credibility around certain paople. NOT all people are like this.

Evaluation of the past is the first step toward vision for the future." -- Chris Widen

Thursday, August 25, 2022

Mind over matter OR Matter Over MInd ?

Is it that the elements influence and change the body

or is it that the "mind" can control the elements / chemcials ?

Wednesday, August 24, 2022

Sarah Says .... I can see it now.. your name in headlines high up in the sky

An old man who worked at an auto parts repair shop on Wornall ave in
Kansas City, MO said that to me.

He held up his right arm and waved it high in the air as he said it.

Was he being serious or smirking and sarcastic? Mocking
ridicule, making fun of, humilating?

For my philosphical statement (s), realizations, comments about humanity.

This was way back when in the late 90s when I was an auto parts delivery driver for
Car Quest Auto Parts. 1996, 1997

Being a very attractive female woman at the time I experienced different treatment according to the people men or women I was dealing with. Certain men would consistently sexually harass and undermine me whenever possible. Most people were hospitable, professional and business oriented.

He was one of the owners probably in his 60s or 70s and usually polite.

Don might have been his first name.

philosophy, observing, memories, truths, statements, comments

One of the great lessons I've learned in athletics is that you've got to discipline your life. No matter how good you may be, you've got to be willing to cut out of your life those things that keep you from going to the top." -- Bob Richards

success

Simplicty and sex sells

And listen to others even the dull and ignorant they too have their story ...... from the desiderata

Public humiliation from private activities is a no no I should never do again

however this is common blatant practice in the news worldwide

we are not to discuss in public what goes on in private households

yet it is in the news, the movies, it is a public practice to use this information to entertain the populace public people and has been probably since the dawn of man

fiction writing ...stories ..anecdotes based upon fact is probably the only acceptable way to reveal any type of truth and events that occur within any home business or anywhere regarding anyone

Tuesday, August 23, 2022

The System offers no protection

aug 23 2022

st lukes east hospital

er admissions told me the person has to be admitted into hospital and or has to voluntarily come in for psych

in order to be treated for whatever illness they may have

oct 2021

kcpd told me had to file order of protection and go downtown to do it

then the parties have to both show up in court

does zero good

Saturday, August 20, 2022

Person I live with has a lot to do with what I can do and think about

Friday, August 19, 2022

What are unspoken rules you learned too late in life?

https://qr.ae/pvwObY

Piyush Singh

Lives in India (1997–present)2y

What are unspoken rules you learned too late in life?

Always pretend to be miserable with miserable people else they will sabotage your happiness.

Masturbation and porn are underrated traps.

If you're good at something, do it for free first.

Money is not the root of all evil. People are.

Having multiple sexual partner is not cool, it can destroy your mental health. Massive depth of trust with one person is unbeatable.

Poor selection of a spouse is the major cause of personal failure. Think 10 times before marriage because one wrong decision and BOOM!

Breaking someone's hope is a biggest sin.

An attractive girl with cunning communication skills receive preferential treatment by everyone.

90% time party means alcohol, cigarette, hukkah & dance.

Expectations and responsibilities are directly proportional to age.

Focus on people's sarcasm, they're telling you something indirectly.

The world pushes people around who lack internal fortitude.

Manglik dosh, prediction of third person or horoscope can't decide whether husband and wife will live happily or not after marriage. Only husband and wife can decide their future. Don't believe what society tells, society is frightened & ignorant.

Comparison is a thief of joy.

People are not shy. Give them a right person & be ready for some crazy shit.

smile☺️!

1.3M viewsView 10,951 upvotesView 108 sharesNot for Reproduction

Profile photo for KC Music Shop

You upvoted this

How can you be happy narcissist unless ...blank is this way.......?????? I can't feel joy at all

Narcs feel powerless: Worship the end results not the source of all energies

Why is the question I ask often. Most adults I witness focus on WHAT, Who, When, Where and NOT Why

Thursday, August 18, 2022

GUTS IS THE NAME OF THIS BOOK

some live in piles heaps of stuff crap causing illnessess

Temperature sunshine moisture water h20 level determines life forms

21-ways-earn-respect-others

https://www.nairaland.com/2240648/21-ways-earn-respect-others

21-ways-earn-respect-others

21 Ways You Can Earn The Respect Of Others by youngPRO(m): 6:59pm On Apr 06, 2015

1. Be relentlessly proactive:

Don’t always wait for direction from others. Use your own skills and resources to start getting things done and solve problems. Get in the habit of figuring things out for yourself. Don’t be afraid of a challenge once in a while.

2. Keep your promises:

This is by far one of the most important actions you can take to start gaining respect. If you took commitments lightly in the past, don’t do that anymore. Always honor commitments and promises. If you find yourself having a lot of trouble with that, it means you make too many promises you can’t keep.

3. Stop apologizing:

People who are constantly saying, “I’m sorry,” without giving it a second thought are usually not the ones that are well respected. There is a time and place for apologies. Sometimes you make mistakes that affect family and friends. You can apologize to them. Meanwhile, stop using the word “sorry” a hundred times an hour for every little thing that goes wrong, especially in the workplace.

4. Don’t waste other people’s time:

If you respect others’ time, they will respect yours. This includes not being late for appointments, not spending meetings talking about useless items, getting to the point fast, bringing up issues right away, being succinct, and of course, making it easier for others to make decisions, especially when they are busier than you.

5. Stop gossiping immediately:

Always act as if the person you’re talking about is right there with you. You need to respect others—even if you don’t like them. Everyone has desirable and undesirable traits. Realize this and talk from this fundamental belief. If you talk behind people’s backs, you and your reputation will quickly become irrelevant.

6. Stop being too nice:

Distinguish kindness from always having to do things for people. Trying to make everyone happy won’t get you very far. Being a pushover is highly undesirable if your goal is to be respected. If you’re too nice to everyone all the time, some people might even think you’re not genuine.

7. Practice humility:

You’re not always going to be right, and you’re not the best at everything. Every person you meet can teach you something. Confidence doesn’t come from a place where you’re the best. True confidence comes from understanding humility, and that every person has something unique to offer to the world, including you.

8. Have a moral code:

Many overlook this important little piece of advice. What do you believe in? What’s important to you? What makes you mad and want to change the world? These kinds of questions will get you to the core of your own personal moral code. Figure it out and share it with the world in small amounts. All the great leaders of the world had a clear moral code.

9. Be open-minded:

At the other extreme of having a moral code is to remain open-minded. Being open-minded is not complicated, nor is it in conflict with having a moral code. It simply means that you acknowledge that you still have so much to learn, and you continue learning from others, even if you have a strong core belief system.

10. Add real value:

Whether you’re part of a community, a company, a group of friends or a team, you will be respected if you always think of ways to offer value to others. Value can come in many forms, but in the end it’s all about offering something to the world or to your community that can help by solving a problem for them. If you create something of value, people will respect you.

11. Always do your homework:

This means do the due diligence. When you’re interviewing someone, do the background research and find out everything you need to know to make an effective interview. When you’re going to a job interview, make sure you’ve done your homework about the company and know what their needs are. When you’re talking to friends, listen and retain information from the conversations and remember things that they care about for next time.

12. Be inspiring:

You can be inspiring by talking to others about your passions and goals without holding back. You can be inspiring by endlessly encouraging others to follow their dreams, goals, and visions, and showing that you have faith in them.

1 Like

Re: 21 Ways You Can Earn The Respect Of Others by youngPRO(m): 7:04pm On Apr 06, 2015

13. Learn to say, “No.”

Don’t feel guilty about saying no once in a while. Don’t worry about missed opportunities either. You don’t need to agree to everything that someone asks from you, especially if it is a superior or a client. Sometimes, you are more respected by saying no, rather than agreeing to do a thing. When you say no, you show you’re not afraid of admitting that you value your time, and that you don’t have time for everything.

14. Don’t believe the self-talk.

If you want others to respect you, of course it’s obvious that you need to respect yourself. It’s not always easy, as we all have our bad days. On those days, you will experience negative self-talk. Don’t believe it. Remember your strengths and learn from your mistakes. Confidence comes from knowing that failure and imperfection are the paths to greatness.

15. Believe in your ideas.

Don’t discard your ideas, even if they seem funny, weird, or unorthodox. Embrace your creativity and follow through with your ideas. If you follow through you will achieve something great—and others will wonder how you came up with such a unique idea. The thing is, most people have these unique ideas, but most people are afraid to follow up and implement them, because they seem too far-fetched.

16. Speak up when you’re mistreated.

Don’t just take it when someone is mistreating you, or taking advantage of you. Be professional and diplomatic, but don’t be silent. Speaking up for yourself is not always easy to do, which is why it is the mark of a person deserving respect.

17. Stand up for someone else.

When you see injustice around you, do you ignore it in order to avoid confrontation? Sometimes you have no choice, but there are moments when you need to stand up for others, especially when they cannot stand up for themselves. You don’t need to please everyone. Don’t be afraid of confrontation once in a while, as long as you do it in a diplomatic way.

18. Speak your mind.

When it is necessary, make sure you speak your mind. People who are highly respected have strong opinions on many topics, and lots of ideas about how to improve things. Don’t be afraid to mention these ideas once in a while, especially during a meeting, brainstorming session, or casual gathering.

19. Stop talking.

Sometimes you need to stop talking and listen. People who talk endlessly without pause are not usually respected (with very few exceptions). Listen to others. Stop talking about yourself all the time. Genuinely listen to people—really listen and try to understand them. Use silence to your advantage. Not every pause should be filled up with noise. Taking a moment to consider a thing before you open your mouth is almost always going to command respect.

20. Care about others.

Start caring about others. Pay attention to your surroundings and the people in your life, whether it is at work, home or church. Genuinely caring about others and showing concern during times of need shows empathy—a powerful trait of good leadership. It also shows that you don’t only focus on yourself, and that you have the emotional capability to pay attention and give help when needed. Not everyone can do this, which is why it is so powerful.

21. Control your emotions.

Make sure to curb your instant reactions to things that make you highly emotional—whether it is good or bad. Sure, it’s OK to be yourself and show enthusiasm. But remember that good leaders and well-respected people know the difference between responding and reacting. The latter is not a good habit.

Be confident. Believe in yourself that you can gain respect from others

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/21-ways-you-can-earn-the-respect-others.html

1 Like

Not losing or giving up a thing when trash is dumped Negativity gone

sweet poison psycho killer(s)

sugar, artificial fake sweeteners
fake colorings

drugs
alchohol
food

unknown substances chemicals poisionous pesticide herbicide
fungicide
cleaners

ingest ingestion, swallowing, drinking, eating

exposure via breath, breathing, air, skin contact

builds up toxins

addictive addictions

as toxins poisons are released into blood stream

emotional outbursts

angry anger fits tantrums

behavior mood changes

destructive

creative creativity boost then sudden or gradual drop into destruction

I have personally experienced and witnessed

thousands of people enduring mental and physical changes

as described during my entire life.

Wednesday, August 17, 2022

Cleaning house taking a bath dancing easier when hes gone lady at church said today

some turn to drinking alcohol, drugs or any type of addiction due to feeling lack of control over their own life

dealing with dominating

dictator authoritarian mean selfish cruel money hungry

manipulators

who lie

cheat hassle hustle twist things around

are road blocks instead of open pathways to genuinely help others

because they truly care

is one the most difficult things to deal with in daily life

these controllers controlling types are randomly dispersed and can be anywhere

or everywhere

a nice kind submissive type person can easily be overtaken by such

people when they don't realize what the heck is really going on

Depression and suicidal tendencies can result and/or constant

chronic state of anxiety confusion anger and outbursts may occur

14 Little Things That Look Like Love But Are Actually Manipulation

https://www.bolde.com/14-little-things-look-like-love-actually-manipulation/

14 Little Things That Look Like Love But Are Actually Manipulation

When your boyfriend does something thoughtful and sweet, you might think, “Aww, he really loves me so much.” But are you sure you’re not mistaking love for manipulation? Here are 14 subtle signs that reveal your awesome boyfriend is really a jerk in disguise:

HE LIKES TO “CHECK IN” INCESSANTLY.

He just missed you so much when you were out with your friends that he simply had to send you three texts in a row, each one more frantic/demanding than the last. Sweet, hey? Not really. It’s more likely that he’s really checking up on you, not checking in, if he does this all the time.

HE USES THE, “… BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!” EXCUSE OFTEN.

Does it seem like every time your boyfriend does something that pisses you off, like showing extreme jealousy, he quickly tells you that his bad behavior is only because he loves you so much? It could be a way for him to distract you from his BS and get back into your good books. But don’t ignore the behavior — that’s a true reflection of what he thinks.

HE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT YOU.

He tells you that you mean so much to him, he would die without you. Um, this isn’t romantic, it’s creepy AF. For some emotional abusers, this could end up with them threatening suicide as a way to control you when you don’t do what they want you to do.

HE SAYS YOU’RE HIS WHOLE WORLD.

Again, not really romantic. No one should have the pressure of being someone’s everything. If he’s saying this, he’s really hinting at how he wants to be isolated with you, instead of integrated in the world in a healthy way. Don’t be surprised if he starts pulling you away from your loved ones so he can have you all to himself — and control you.

HE SPOILS YOU WITH GIFTS YOU DON’T NEED.

It might be sweet, but not if he puts you down for the things you have. If he’s replacing your furniture, clothing or any other items with ones he prefers for you, he’s not giving you a surprise gift — he’s trying to turn you into something you’re not.

HE “WORRIES” ABOUT YOU.

That’s why he called and texted you 30 times when you were out. If you don’t reply to him right away, he gets mad, or “worried” as he calls it. See how it’s a way for him to seem loving and guilt you into being more attentive to his ridiculous whims and “needs” when he’s the furthest thing from a loving boyfriend?

HE WANTS TO START A FAMILY.

This is obviously a normal, lovely thing to want, but watch how it’s done. If his goal is to have a family so that you can quit working and stay at home with the baby, in a home far away from where your loved ones are, it could be part of his plan to isolate you and take control of your life: he’ll be controlling your whereabouts, your finances and everything else soon enough.

HE FLATTERS YOU CONSTANTLY.

A bit of flattery is healthy and makes you feel good, but if your partner’s always charming you, it can be used as a disguise. He wants to throw you off guard and perhaps use the charm to manipulate you at a later stage.

HE TELLS YOU WHEN YOU’VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK.

You were at a party together and he told you to stop drinking so much after he saw you having fun with your friends. The reason? He cares about you and doesn’t want you to be badly hungover tomorrow. Thanks, Dad. You know what? Maybe he was pissed off that you were having such a good time because he’s a jealous, insecure jerk.

HE TELLS YOU HOW MUCH BETTER YOU ARE THAN OTHER WOMEN.

You might see it as a compliment when he says all his exes were psychotic but you’re so much better than them. Hey, maybe you’re the best woman he’s ever met. These can be compliments, but not if he’s showing signs of being sexist and discriminatory. He might say, “Women are so [insert negative adjective here], but you’re not like them.” Um, hello? You’re a woman! It’s damn insulting.

HE LOVES TO JOKE AROUND.

He’ll call you “crazy” or “dumb,” but only in a joking way. He says it’s his way of showing love. Um, no. It’s not. It’s his way of pretending to be joking but hoping that the comments lodge themselves in your mind so that you start to believe them.

HE SUGGESTS THINGS “FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.”

He cares about you so much that he’ll show you a better way to do your job, speak to your best friend, make a cup of tea and even lose those extra pounds (that you didn’t even notice). It’s not for your own good at all — it’s his way of controlling you. But screw that, you’re a grown woman who can damn well decide what’s best for you.

HE NEEDED TO SEE YOU — THAT’S WHY HE FLIPPED.

Aww, he just couldn’t wait to see you and when you told him that you had to cancel your date, he lost his temper. He quickly apologized, saying that he just missed you so much, and maybe you felt flattered. But warning bells should’ve sounded. Beware of a man who can’t handle being told “no.”

HE BECOMES SUPER SWEET AFTER ARGUMENTS.

You had a big fight after which he became loving and sweet. It’s a way to guilt you for confronting him on something that caused the fight. He’s the guy who’ll say, “You misunderstood me,” “I don’t like drama,” or “Is that what you think of me, even though I show you I love you every day?” as a way to make him seem like the sweet, reasonable guy and you like the crazy girlfriend. It’s messed up and you need to get out ASAP.

truth serum alcohol

Your Drunk Self Is Your Truest Self, Science Says (bolde.com)

21 Ways You Can Earn The Respect Of Others Jesicka Labud

https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/21-ways-you-can-earn-the-respect-others.html

COMMUNICATION

You want to be respected, but you’re not sure how this whole thing works. The key here is to stop focusing on you, and start thinking about others. How can you help others? How can you inspire change, growth, and innovation? When you think about the people you respect deeply, what do they do differently from the average person? While you’re thinking about that, here are some of my own tips:

1. Be relentlessly proactive.

2. Keep your promises.

3. Stop apologizing.

4. Don’t waste other people’s time.

5. Stop gossiping immediately.

6. Stop being too nice.

7. Practice humility.

8. Have a moral code.

9. Be open-minded.

10. Add real value.

11. Always do your homework.

12. Be inspiring.

13. Learn to say, “No.”

14. Don’t believe the self-talk.

15. Believe in your ideas.

16. Speak up when you’re mistreated.

17. Stand up for someone else.

18. Speak your mind.

19. Stop talking.

20. Care about others.

21. Control your emotions.

Dealt with the most difficult people all of my life. Family, husbands, some co-workers.

https://medium.com/practical-growth/dealing-with-difficult-people-d486525afb37

Dealing with difficult people

It’s not always easy but it is always necessary. Learn how to understand them so you can deal with them effectively.

Photo by Frank Busch on Unsplash

by: E.B. Johnson

Whether we like it or not, living in the real world means dealing with difficult people. We’ve all known someone who is more headache than they’re worth, and we all know how aggravating it can be settling even the smallest of disagreements with such a person. Difficult people are all uphill battles and brick wall conversations. Learning how to deal with them, likewise, is an art-form that takes time and patience to master.

Difficult people can be frustrating, but they can also be frightening. Difficulty occurs on a number of different levels and stems from a number of different causes. If you want to get to the root of the difficult people in your life and learn the best ways to limit the effects they have on your happiness, take some time getting to understand the different types of difficult people and what makes them tick. They’re often more complicated than you might think.

The roots of difficult behavior.

The first thing to remember when dealing with anyone who makes our blood boil is that poor behavior often has its roots in heart-breaking circumstances. Grumps and cantankerous old gits exist in every size, shape, color and gender. They live among us, cloaked in the guise of normal human beings, and they often sneak up on us long before we have a chance to suss them out. Learning how to deal with Negative Nancy’s is all about learning how to identify not only these individuals, but also the things that feed their need to be nasty.

Unfulfilled expectations.

Most of the unhappiness and suffering in our lives comes from disappointment or a general sense of being let down when things don’t go our way. Sometimes, a nasty state of being is just a defense mechanism; a response to these frequent disappointments and unfulfilled expectations. When we get let down time and time again, it can become easier to be cold and callous, rather than inviting another round of hurt in.

Past experiences.

More often than not, a nasty demeanor is a defense mechanism, meant to protect us from the thousands of little hurts the world inflicts on us. When we learn to be disappointed, that negativity can often sink into every aspect of our being — personality included. People carry their past like baggage, and let it reflect in their attitudes and the way they treat and interact with others. Clinging to the past weakens us by weakening our confidence and it warps our beliefs and the beliefs we carry about others.

Personality disorders.

While everyone has “off days” that can result in them making an a** out of themselves, there are also concrete personality disorders that can make it harder to deal with certain people. Those living with personality disorders might have behavior that appears particularly emotionally charged or out of sorts with the situation at hand. These disorders can also be characterized by repeating patterns of feelings and behavior that are inflexible and pervasive. They lead to excessive distress for not only the person living with the disorder, but the people around them as well.

External factors.

Our lives are composed of threads, like a large and all-encompassing web. Each string is connected to the other and even the minutest of disturbances sends shockwaves through the other parts of our lives. When something is going wrong in your personal life, it has an effect on your professional life and vice versa. External factors do much to determine our outlook and moods, and the sooner we can accept that the sooner we can get to real world solutions that make life better for us all.

The types of difficult people.

According to David Brown, author of The Art and Science of Dealing with Difficult People: while there are many different kinds of difficult people in this world, there are a few basic archetypes. Understanding these people and learning how to spot them in our lives allows us to minimize their impact on us.

The Submissives

While we don’t traditionally think of submissive people as a problem, they can be extremely difficult to deal with when it comes to the big and important matters in life. The lack of confidence a submissive has can be a major source of frustration, and their fear of failure will leave them paralyzed in the most desperate of straights.

The Perfectionists

When we need to move quickly in life, perfectionists are the last people we need on the team. Their attention to detail can be a great benefit in certain situations but, like the submissives, a perfectionist’s need to “get everything right” can leave them frozen.

The Aggressive Defenders

Your typical “difficult person”, being assertive can help propel us forward, but it can also isolate and alienate the people around us. Aggressiveness and defensiveness are counterproductive to our relationships and are more corrosive than they are beneficial. Nothing kills a group dynamic like an overbearing or hostile leader or coworker.

The Control Freaks

Those who want to do things their way (and only their way) are hard to work and coexist with. An inability to compromise means an inability to connect. When we can’t make way for others, we can hardly make way for our true selves.

The Shapers

Shapers are those who like to take the reins of power whether they have been offered them or not. They like to take things over and reshape them to their own will. Thus the name “shapers”. While they can help drive action, they can also be a major thorn in the side of those who have to live or work with them.

The Creatives

We don’t generally think of creatives as difficult people to interact with, but they can be when we don’t know how to manage our reaction to the way they do things. Creative people are essential in generating the ideas that drive our society forward, but they can get aggravating when they refuse to look beyond anything but the “big picture”. Ideas are lovely, but they’re worthless without action. Creatives often lack the conviction of follow-through, which can make them difficult when it comes to support.

How to deal with the difficult people in our lives.

Dealing with the nasty or difficult isn’t about them. It’s about us. You’ve got to lay the groundwork before going to battle. Handling people we’d rather not come in contact with isn’t fun, but it can be managed with the skills above and a few solid tactics. After you’ve come to a better understanding of yourself, use these techniques to wriggle out of the nastiest negativity wallows.

1. Listen.

We often underestimate the power of just listening. Listening is the number one step with it comes to dealing with things that are otherwise “unreasonable”. When we listen — truly listen — we can unlock startling and transformative new perspective and opportunities. Listening takes opening our minds more than our ears, however, and that can be a hard skill to master.

Every single person on this earth wants to feel heard. Even when we’re in the depths of our darkest imaginings, we just want to know that someone sees us; that someone hears us.

Progress can’t be made — in any relationship or conversation — until both parties feel fully acknowledged and listened to. When you’re listening to someone else, really focus, and listen to what they say with open and honest intent. Even if what they’re saying is ridiculous or unfair, just listening can go a long way to reaching solutions.

2. Set some ground rules.

By setting clear boundaries of what you will and will not tolerate, you can avoid a lot of the unpleasantness that comes with confronting negative people. All healthy relationships (be they professional or personal) are based around healthy boundaries. In order for those boundaries to stick, you have to make them clear…and you have to stick to them.

Define your guidelines from the jump and make it clear that you know your worth and won’t accept any bullying or otherwise. When you make it clear that you demand respect (because you respect yourself) you’ll also make it clear that you’re not going to suffer unnecessary negativity.

Many of us were conditioned to believe that boundaries were self-serving, and in a way they are. They serve as a means by which we can protect ourselves from those who would take advantage, while also protecting ourselves from giving away more than we can or should. Boundaries are healthy limitations that we set for our selves and those who are worthy respect them.

3. Practice understanding.

Empathy is one of the most powerful tools we can use when it comes to resolving conflicts or negative confrontations. Putting ourselves in the shoes of others makes it easier for us to understand where they’re coming from and also allows us to get a different perspective on a situation.

You can get to understanding someone’s issues fully by listening to them. Humans generally only listen at a 25% retention rate, so put in some extra effort and you might just find the conflict resolved faster and more efficiently than you expected. Keep your mouth closed and your mind open. Drop the judgements and take in every piece of the experience with the knowledge that no human is perfect.

When we extend compassion and understanding to others, we encourage them to extend that compassion and understanding to us. Pay forward what you hope to get in return and you’ll find a sea of new opportunities unlocked.

4. Exercise body language.

We can do a lot more communicating with our body language than we sometimes give ourselves credit for. When dealing with a difficult person, the way we carry ourselves can do a lot as far as setting boundaries and drawing the line between what you will and will not tolerate, and it’s a tool we can userwith less guilt or feelings of shame.

Remain strong and firm in your position, using active hand motions to emphasize the points you’re making and the confidence that carries behind your words. Don’t slouch or pull back from the other person, remaining instead with your head held high and your shoulders tall, squared and fully erect.

If you find yourself in a particularly difficult confrontation, change the environment if you can’t immediately change your body language after making your point clearly and directly. Going for a walk or just changing rooms can do a lot for helping you re-poise yourself.

5. Manage expectations.

As humans, we aren’t always clear about what we want or what we expect out of a situation. By managing expectations, we can do a lot to prevent negative conflict in our personal and professional lives. Miserable people are often miserable because they have been disappointed so many times.

Setting expectations clearly at the outset lets us relieve the stress and anxiety that comes from the unknown and lets us start making our best and worst case scenario plans ahead of time.

Always ask people what their expectations are of you and make sure they know what your expectations are of them. Agree and clarify these expectations until you can come to some sort of agreement that works for you both.

6. Choose battles wisely.

Fighting and conflict is exhausting. Sometimes, the best thing to do is just walk away from a nasty person, but it takes having the emotional awareness to recognize when things have come to that point.

Negativity affects us and the people around us. When we engage in conflict we actually upset the delicate ecosystems of our emotional environments. By prioritizing our issues and learning when to fight and when to walk away, we can preserve our precious emotional stasis and our inner peace.

Difficult people can seem like an uphill battle that needs to be overcome at all costs, but that win or lose mentality will get you nowhere. Learn when to walk away instead and you’ll give yourself some power back.

7. Use strategic influence.

Sometimes, we just can’t do anything to stop a negative person in their tracks. It’s at these moments that it can actually be more productive to use strategic influence, rather than expending your own precious energy on the situation.

Strategic influence basically means finding someone who can influence the particularly difficult person on your behalf. Perhaps this person is a boss or a manager or a spouse. Get creative and leave no stone unturned.

This type of influence can help remove some of the conflict from the situation, and make it easier for us to address our issues. It can also allow for quicker and smoother resolution, as the perspective of a third-party is often what is needed to find the middle ground that’s so desperately needed.

8. Interrupt the pattern.

Chances are, if a person is being difficult, they’ve behaved that way before. Behavior is a funny thing, and in a way our behaviors are programmed into us like robots. We repeat them over and over again, pushing them to their most extreme ends until we’re told to “rein them in” again.

Difficult people can be managed by interrupting their patterns. When a co-worker or acquaintance gets nasty, break up their behavior by asking a question that is completely off-topic. This kind of random tandem can offset their mental story and help snap their brain out of the negative feedback loop that’s winding it up.

When we stop our negative patterns in their tracks, we allow our brains to replace those one-track thoughts with positive ones, which by their very nature offer greater opportunity. There are all kinds of creative ways you can interrupt problematic patterns before they begin. Take some time and figure out one that works for you and your professional and personal circles alike.

9. Manage your reactions.

When confronted with a negative or difficult person, it’s sometimes necessary to just focus on how we can control our reaction to their provocation.

Take a moment to reflect on how you feel and ask yourself why you feel that way. Consider why the actions of another person evoke such a strong reaction in you.

Learning how to handle ourselves is an essential step in getting out of our instinctual zones and into a sharper, less-negative state. Forcing ourselves to think in a calm and collected manner also pushes our brain into a positive state of being, an invaluable asset when it comes to battling negativity.

10. Leveraging your self-control.

Knowing yourself is the key tp handling any adversity that appears in our lives. When we have a clear sense of self, there is no tension over limits or direction. You know who you are and what you want from your time on this Earth.

Stay calm and develop an awareness of your authentic self. Seek to understand a situation, rather than control it, and you’ll come out on the other side with a completely transformed sense of what it means to engage a negative person.

Gain clarity by asking questions and reflect on the things you see as satisfactory and unsatisfactory. Clearly defining your goals and intent before engaging a difficult person will help you maintain focus on the things that actually matter in this life.

Putting it all together…

The world around us is a challenging one full of challenging people, but they can be managed by developing some core skills and techniques that allow us to adapt and overcome. When dealing with particularly nasty people, it’s important to stay focused on controlling ourselves. Never lose sight of the goals and intentions you have set for yourself, and refuse to compromise the boundaries you set for your own peace of mind.

Manage your emotions by developing an awareness of yourself that helps in your understanding of others. Strategic influence, too, can be a great way to deal with a particularly difficult person at home or work, while listening is often the quickest and easiest path to reaching an understanding. Dealing with difficult people is never easy, but it can be made easier by looking within and looking to maintaining your own inner peace at all costs. The people around us only have as much power as we give them. Take your power back by getting in touch with yourself and mastering the techniques you need to stay sane in the midst of even the most difficult people.

he looks at them when he thinks i am not looking

Patterns programs of behavior created and repeated become habits rituals

expectations of same results

Tuesday, August 16, 2022

How do I "know" in advance? Precognition ....

Fight nature and nature wins

why put effort into someone who doesn't give a damn about you ???????

when they don't care

that is it

no convincing anyone to care

about someone or something

they don't give a rats butt about

Once I cut the cord it's the end

Super sleuth detective female

Interesting how my husband gets credit for my knowledge and efforts.

Help stop the spread of ignorance. Inform.

Nobody raises his own reputation by lowering others!" -- Author Unknown

I AM. I HAVE. I Do. It is.

Saturday, August 13, 2022

Eat in peace. Focus on the food.

To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe." -- Marilyn vos Savant

Taming Damon

Discipline

disciplining damon

sugar removed

been overloaded with sweets

unregulated

allowed free reign accesss to any type of food or treat

Consistency needed amongst adults and caretakers

Respect needed

Thursday, August 11, 2022

Free and natural is beautiful

restricted and fake is ugly

Meat jack

Last night lady nursing home worker

tells me the males

men are jacking off in front of each other

with the curtain open

Everything is nothing because too much is .................not enough

LESS IS MORE. MINIMAL. Bigger is not better. More is less.

Saturday, August 6, 2022

If you don't know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere." -- Henry Kissinger

Thursday, August 4, 2022

Nature of some people is to keep getting bigger and bigger and more of almost anything thinking it the the best thing to do

in this instance

one is never satisfied

with

whatever they have

Monday, August 1, 2022

Surprising character traits that indicate a high IQ

Surprising character traits that indicate a high IQ (msn.com)

Surprising character traits that indicate a high IQ

Over time, we've created a lot of stereotyped characters in pop culture who are smarter than everyone else and act in obnoxious or extraordinary ways. The truth of the matter, however, is that people with high IQs share quite a few personality traits that challenge the intellectual stereotype. But no matter how smart you are, some of these traits may surprise you.

adaptability

first born

anxiety

talking to yourself

generosity

dark humor

really funny

cat people

trust in their judgment

open minded

aware of limits

night owl

creativity

observant

messy

thinking outside the box

comfortable alone

curiousness

self control

empathetic

the mouth of a sailor

modesty

reading alot

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/surprising-character-traits-that-indicate-a-high-iq/ss-AA100WBB?ocid=msedgntp&cvid=a683c01f20954b379a32dd3cae5cf477#image=1

People don't want or need to be saved

converted brainwashed transmuted changed altered

pushed

forced

coerced

Non not a groupie clubby culty

group

club

cult

Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Monday, August 29, 2022

Sunday, August 28, 2022