Re-evaulate question all I do everything about me my worth and purpose of existing. Having to answer to someone for all things about me. Mastering simplifying cutting down
cutting back trimming away doing without limiting all activities what is eaten what I drink when I go and where and why and with whom. Answering the
questions "How much money is that going to cost? Is so and so paying you
for it?" "What do you get out of that? What's the purpose?"
Eating pride losing pride gaining humility going to church once a week for food pantry
while being taught and learning simple meanings of statements in the bible.
Am very loving and affectionate person learning to do without compassion,
simple things like hugs, a kiss on the cheek, any sort of understanding from
the other person who does not understand, doesn't want to even try to
understand and will never understand. Quit explaining myself, reasoning telling why,rationalizing or making sense of anything. A dog is a dog and
dogs bark because that's what they do. Don't expect a dog to meow. It's
impossible and it never will.
I cut my own hair, do my own nails rarely painting fingernails or toenails
anymore. No salons, no beauticians, no waxing, no stylists. I shave my own
legs and use manual tweezers to pluck hairs off of my face. I don't buy
shaving cream, use cheap hair conditioner or shampoo or bar soap when
I shave.
Learning about all the things I miss that I used to do and one day in my next life will do if there is a next life. Burning incense, making popcorn, nap in total peace and quiet in living room instead of an old worn out recliner thrown away by the neighbor, eat in total peace without anyone bitching and complaining at me
about what I eat, how much or when I eat. Listen to music I feel like
listening to, watch a movie on tv that I want to see. Dance, swim, walk
when and where I want to. Move the furniture around. Get rid of all carpet
so I don't have to lug a heavy stinking dirty vacuum up and down the stairs
and all around the house. Use a manual broom dust mop and dustpan.
Use a feather duster to dust furniture. Do laundry after 10 pm. Don't
watch the news every night. It's depressing anyway.
Appreciation of what is and what used to be, hoping for things in the future
like freedom of thought and action. Ability to make my own choices.
April 9, 2014
cutting back trimming away doing without limiting all activities what is eaten what I drink when I go and where and why and with whom. Answering the
questions "How much money is that going to cost? Is so and so paying you
for it?" "What do you get out of that? What's the purpose?"
Eating pride losing pride gaining humility going to church once a week for food pantry
while being taught and learning simple meanings of statements in the bible.
Am very loving and affectionate person learning to do without compassion,
simple things like hugs, a kiss on the cheek, any sort of understanding from
the other person who does not understand, doesn't want to even try to
understand and will never understand. Quit explaining myself, reasoning telling why,rationalizing or making sense of anything. A dog is a dog and
dogs bark because that's what they do. Don't expect a dog to meow. It's
impossible and it never will.
I cut my own hair, do my own nails rarely painting fingernails or toenails
anymore. No salons, no beauticians, no waxing, no stylists. I shave my own
legs and use manual tweezers to pluck hairs off of my face. I don't buy
shaving cream, use cheap hair conditioner or shampoo or bar soap when
I shave.
Learning about all the things I miss that I used to do and one day in my next life will do if there is a next life. Burning incense, making popcorn, nap in total peace and quiet in living room instead of an old worn out recliner thrown away by the neighbor, eat in total peace without anyone bitching and complaining at me
about what I eat, how much or when I eat. Listen to music I feel like
listening to, watch a movie on tv that I want to see. Dance, swim, walk
when and where I want to. Move the furniture around. Get rid of all carpet
so I don't have to lug a heavy stinking dirty vacuum up and down the stairs
and all around the house. Use a manual broom dust mop and dustpan.
Use a feather duster to dust furniture. Do laundry after 10 pm. Don't
watch the news every night. It's depressing anyway.
Appreciation of what is and what used to be, hoping for things in the future
like freedom of thought and action. Ability to make my own choices.
April 9, 2014
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