Sunday, July 31, 2022
Grandma told me to pick a rich wealthy man
Raised wealthy
With manners
Intelligence ethics heart and soul
Kindness wisdom
Enter every activity without giving mental recognition to the possibility of defeat. Concentrate on your strengths, instead of your weaknesses ... on your powers, instead of your problems." -- Paul J. Meyer
"Enter every activity without giving mental recognition to the possibility of defeat. Concentrate on your strengths, instead of your weaknesses ... on your powers, instead of your problems."
-- Paul J. Meyer
Borax makes my laundry smell so clean. Refreshing.
Stopped using scented soap to wash clothes about 2 months ago.
Tailor fit is what I need: Clothes, food, place, work, hobbies, shoes, all things for individual needs and tastes.
Tailor fit is what I need:
Clothes, food, place, work, hobbies, shoes, all things for individual needs and tastes.
Friday, July 29, 2022
Everyone wants to feel important. my dad said
Everyone wants to feel important. my dad said
"impotent"
people want to
a line from some movie
Thursday, July 28, 2022
Someday ................................
Someday
.........I will do it later
I will do it when I win the lottery
I will take that vacation
I will travel
I will change my attitude
I wll be happy
I will have fun
I will spend that valuable stuff I have saved most of my life
I will feel good
Do what I want
Realize the most important things in life
Tell her/him I love them and that they matter to me
Why I have to go to the gym to exercise and swim.
Put simply: At home another person tries to control what I do
Wednesday, July 27, 2022
Monday, July 25, 2022
She cries in silent solitude so no one sees or hears........then she mops up her tears
when she
when I
cry it is alone
Witnesses would not be able to help anyway, they havent done so in the past
Some people say why do you stay? Why dont you just leave (and go where???) and have no clue. Are fools and dont live with me, havent been thru same stuff
so they come up with simple minded solutions that sound easy such as go to a shelter
or call some 800 number for help
or file order of protection..which does nothing..
and are almost impossible to do unless I would have a lot of money, even then it might be difficult as very rich people endure the same type of
circumstances if involved with same type of person/people
Narcissist makes simple things complicated
Narcissist narc makes simple task duties things very difficult if not possible to accomplish for me
Working on anything is difficult
simple duties tasks hobbies he / they made make hard to do
micro manages me or anyone else he can at anytime
vacuuming.. hears it running turns it off complains yells gripes i am going to burn up motor if vacuum runs more than a few minutes at a time
mopping... cant use a mop says it slops water all over floor and tiles will come up loose claims i dont know how to do it floor is too wet.......insists only way is on hands and knees with barely any water at all use a damp rag dry it immediately
dusting.... cant use feather duster says it spreads dust all over in air and is not right.. he uses a damp cloth and goes thru all stuff his stereo equpment cds entertainment center in living room he built out of heavy wood which has never been moved since he installed it and never will be
refuses to move furn around in living room and it looks out of balance unmatched shoddy shitty crappy nasty like a poverty ghetto hole
cleaning the floor in any fashion he does not like or wouldnt do
washing cleaning windows in the house
washing my vehicle at home or cleaning it out
washing dishes.. hovers around dabbing up drops of water around faucet or sink top saying i am sloppy messy careless
sweeping the front porch .. he pulls out the leaf blower.. or the back patio...
he almost always has to outdo me, take over what i am doing
cooking/grilling outside bbq or smoker grill
getting rid of old patio furn and finding new furniture or decor outside
getting any new furn inside the house
decor decorating any walls with anything..if he sees it doesnt like it i dont get it
me using any type of tool to do anything: hammer pliers screwdrivers, drill,
he either takes it away or says i dont know how to use it or he doesnt want any nails in wall and no noise
keeping things organized and streamlined sensibly
refrigerator and freezer is cluttered with extraneous crap not needed and hard to keep clean and get things easily out of fridge
clearing out excess and outdated stuff
decluttering mess or piles of crap lying around in or outside of house including shed in yard and two sheds he built directly onto the house that are padlocked
garage is stuffed : piles and stacks of miscellaneous unmarked boxes or marked boxes or things he crammed in there i dont even know what all is in the garage
anytime i look at anything in house or out he watches me closely and doesnt want me to look at or say anything about any of it
cleaning, straighening, tossing trash/garbage
giving away anything I or we don't need or want
HOBBIES are limited, restricted, impeded
hobbies I like to do are almost impossible to do and many i have quit doing due to the interference from the narc: (reading mags, books, writing in journal can't do much when he is here and awake) so those things and working on computer i mostly due very late into middle of the night to 3 or 4 in the morning..this is the only time i am about guaranteed any peace and quiet
riding a bike/bicycle, learning a new hobby , taking up some new activity, having any friend or friends or acquaintance, co workers are shunned kept away ,
talking on the phone freely at anytime when he is around,
cleaning out pantry, cleaning out any room and moving rearranging things or dumping things when he is here or if he comes back and notices something missing
due to his spontaneous combustion unpredictable fits of anger i have gravitated to my bedroom/bathroom and have food and misc other items in there that probably shouldn't be there as i practically live in my room and do things like eat work exercise ...limited amount of movement due to space
Sunday, July 24, 2022
Saturday, July 23, 2022
Looking good being healthy happy smiling and nice is the way to be for me
All these years
I've been working too hard
thinking like a man
Thinking TOO much
believing I have to be soooo intelligent
MEN don't care how hard you / I work
or how smart I am
or anything about me
They just want the woman to LOOK good
UNIVERSAL truth
Thursday, July 21, 2022
The System is Bull Shit
the sun is good for you
daily aspririn is not necessary
antacids are harmful
sweet fake stuff is toxic bad for you
protein fat carb intake requirements vary according to the individual
there is no one diet system applicable to everyone\
one size fits all diet nonexistent
you won't be like someone else by owning their stuff
you are you only you for your entire life
primary education begins stays ends at home throughout life
knowing trivia does not make you smart
iq test has little to do with your intelligence
man cannot make real food
fake is fake is false phony bull
nature cannot be duplicated by man
genius: simplicity not complexity
teeth indicate what you can eat
Focus : Keep your eye on the ball. Stay on the ONE thing until it's done. NO distractions. No jumping off the track.
Focus : Keep your eye on the ball. Stay on the ONE thing until it's done. NO distractions. No jumping off the track.
Grandpa used to tell me this often "Keep your eye on the ball"
HUGE error on my part: Getting tripped up and off track by allowing interference from anyone or anything when I am on a mission.
It's not a secret. It is common knowledge.
every child is born with it.
animals have it and do it; survival means staying focused on that prey
and that thing they need at the moment
Persistence.
Patience
Planning
NO distractions
Stay in the ZONE
Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep." -- Denis Waitley
"Losers make promises they often break. Winners make commitments they always keep."
-- Denis Waitley
Wednesday, July 20, 2022
They all want the honey pot working or not
He wants that honey pot
Working or not
Play boy thinks your a toy
He's not a man that's why it's playboy not playman
A grown boy in a man's body
Not taking responsibility
Hit it quick and run
After the fun
Dumps you honey hun
Then sneak back
Getting some more
It's not love it's lust
He hates your guts
But he slips it in
Slick dick sausage
In the door. Any door front back wants some more
Can't get enough
It's a groaning game
He moans your name
Begging sayin love I love I love
Love love you now
I wanna rub
Wanna hug
He cries whining in tortured pain
when you won't give it to Him
Right now
Walk away,,,.. he will stray anyway like a
Dog he is sniffing chasing heat
That smell
Slapping lapping slobbering
Panting
Tongue hanging dragging the floor
begging dying crying more more more
He comes
Then he goes
And comes again
You say go away
Slap kick punch him in the face
and He's back
Again
Like a rubber band
Copyright 2022
Sarah Stillwell July 20 2022
Tuesday, July 19, 2022
Easy going mild mannered attacked : The fierce looking are avoided
teresa attacked felicia
felecia was a super sweet young lady
teresa got drunk at the bar became angry and attacked felicia, the harmless one
teresa was a manager at my job . she was very authoritarian and controlling
short, blond, previous inmate at a jail
BULLIES attack what appears to be WEAKEST
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody
This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done
Knapsack necessities
Water
Toothbrush
Baking soda
Comb
Razor
Soap shampoo conditioner
Undies
Socks
Bra sports
T-shirt long
Shorts
Beach towel
Barmop towel
Sandals
Athletic shoes
Boots
Long pants with pockets
Monday, July 18, 2022
Saturday, July 16, 2022
Friday, July 15, 2022
Thursday, July 14, 2022
I call a spade a spade... grandma used to say this almost daily
Sarah, my mom's mom/mother said this often
Wednesday, July 13, 2022
ONE thing at a time=focus and results. LIMIT activities.
Before I had a child I was excellent at focusing on one thing at a time.
After having my first child I quickly learned that I was unable to finish thoughts,
projects, pretty much anything without being interrupted. I couldn't complete what
I started very easily...there was another life form that needed attention and I lost touch with myself.
In school the method was one subject, one thing at a time.
I learned easily and best that way.
I have become too jumpy and scattered and fallen into the bullshit
belief system of expectation called "multi tasking" which results in
a big MESS. Very little is accomplished.
Trying to do too many things and too much of one thing for too long is disastrous and
inefficient.
Trying to do it all myself, thinking that if I am really smart then I have to do it all.
This is really DUMB thinking.
Monday, July 11, 2022
Smiling... An asset and contagious
Smile more
At age 19 I began to be very careful about who I smiled at
and cut back on smiling
NOW I know it is one of the greatest assets and universally loved thing to do
people LOVE it
They can have sasy sex at home and still fuck and lust after as many as they can get in any manner
Anyplace any location.
Screw and forget them, dump them as soon as they get it
Sex everyday for most males, it seems
What happens when they get it daily or more often
And what happens when they don't?
Saturday, July 9, 2022
Watch out for the INNOCENT face
The phrase is usually used in a derogatory and critical sense and, in the past at least, was most often applied to women. Occasionally, it was used to denote a quiet meekness and sweetness of temper rather than emotional coldness; for example, this description of Mr Pecksniff in Charles Dickens' Martin Chuzzlewit:
What's the origin of the phrase 'Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth'?
The allusion in this expression is to people who maintain such a cool demean or that they don't even have the warmth to melt butter. This is an old phrase - here's a citation from 1530, in Jehan Palsgrave's Lesclarcissement de la langue françoyse:
"He maketh as thoughe butter wolde nat melte in his mouthe."
Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth : Looks like Mr Innocent to the public
https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/butter+wouldn't+melt+in+his+mouth
https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/81900.html
Friday, July 8, 2022
Wednesday, July 6, 2022
I will be happy when...................
Other things change outside of me
I change my attitude and enjoy any little idea or thing NOW
Monday, July 4, 2022
Graphic definition: Word someone used to describe me many years ago
Graphic
adjective Also graph·i·cal.
giving a clear and effective picture; vivid:
a graphic account of an earthquake.
pertaining to the use of diagrams, graphs, mathematical curves, or the like; diagrammatic.
of, relating to, or expressed by writing:
graphic symbols.
written, inscribed, or drawn.
SEE MORE
noun
a product of the graphic arts, as a drawing or print.
a computer-generated image.
Sunday, July 3, 2022
I seek the same things and experiences wherever I am.
I seek the same things and experiences wherever I am.
Saturday, July 2, 2022
In the beginning man created God
"In the beginning man created God" from a book I had The Hiram Key.
Insult a stranger be cut off forever, insult a family member they can't cut you off completely
Insult a stranger they cut you off permanently/forever
insult a family member they are still there, you can't lose them
family always be there be family even if not communicating
impress strangers
don't have to impress family
i am anonymous to him: Just a body, woman, a thing. Speaks about me anonymously not as an individual person
language he uses refers to me as
a leg
a woman
Psychology studying I began at age 10
Psychology interest began when I was a child due
to the family drama, particularly my maternal
grandmother. I wondered why she acted the way she did
and the interaction with her spouse, my step grandfather/grandpa.
50 years later I am still studying the people phenonemon.
Personality.
Self.
Others around anywhere.
Past or present.
Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude. -- Ralph Marston
Your Daily Quotation:
Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude.
-- Ralph Marston
Friday, July 1, 2022
What's the point
point of listing item is to sell it
point of life is to live it
talking is to communicate information
doing to achieve accomplish something
(exercise body for total health OR acquire an item, accomplish a task/goal)
eating to fuel your body
drinking to quench thirst
Avoided food and drinks for me
stuff that has words describing it in title or advertising and methods used to make it
skinny
fat free
diet
no calorie
low calorie
cow
pre mixed premade packaged
convenient
processed
healthy (must read label, know ingredients first)
energy
buffalo bull
artificial artificially flavor sweet flavored sweetened
fake phone false imitation
seedless no seeds
boneless no bones
no bake
not natural
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Doctor said I have no cataracts, no glaucoma and no macular degeneration which is good. He said my pupils were well dilated so he did not ha... -
am i really a failure? am i doing what i am able to do? OR am i unable to fit into other people's boxes, unable to keep up with dem...
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Any person I am talking to immediately diverts their attention to someone else or some animal or some other things in the area. They drop t...