The phrase is usually used in a derogatory and critical sense and, in the past at least, was most often applied to women. Occasionally, it was used to denote a quiet meekness and sweetness of temper rather than emotional coldness; for example, this description of Mr Pecksniff in Charles Dickens' Martin Chuzzlewit:
What's the origin of the phrase 'Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth'?
The allusion in this expression is to people who maintain such a cool demean or that they don't even have the warmth to melt butter. This is an old phrase - here's a citation from 1530, in Jehan Palsgrave's Lesclarcissement de la langue françoyse:
"He maketh as thoughe butter wolde nat melte in his mouthe."
Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth : Looks like Mr Innocent to the public
https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/butter+wouldn't+melt+in+his+mouth
https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/81900.html
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