he seems to think

believes by focusing on the stupidity of others it makes him appear smarter, more intelligent and capable than anyone else

all he has to do is hard manual labor, earn some money, pay some bills and 

treat me like an idiot maid slave doormat and never do anything fun spend time with me

ignore me, shut me out, put headphones on with news constantly in his ears mind and brain

poor communication skills

poor consequence understanding

poor social skills

scrutinizes everyone but himself

lack of self awareness

zero happy happiness fun laughing enjoyment

lacks appreciation, respect, acknowledgement of my or other people's or animals intelligence, ability to survive, discriminate, discern, success, smartness, intelligence, wisdom, expertise, knowledge, skill

make messes all over leave them for me to clean up then tell me i don't do anything

ridicule, criticize, nitpick me to death an expect me to worship adore respect him

impulsive as hell

jumps on first thing he sees

has zero respect for me and says he loves me

creates makes this as difficult as possible 

will not cooperate with making this place easy to clean, 

manuever around and safe as possible

jumps in with other people who abuse me verbally and if they physically or verbally attacked me he says i did something to deserve it

has hard time thinking ahead on lots of things

difficulty making decisions 

thinks his projects activities interests are top priority and other people's preferences and likes and dislikes are stupid, not important 

dismisses the simple act of being kind, using caution with his thoughts words and actions

is prejudiced, judgemental, hateful, mean, vindictive, cold, calculating, 

people get quiet

 around someone they want to inpress

around someone they are impressed by

 men who stood up for me when they witnessed the abuse

1978 nov dec everett custer/kuster, lee (elizabeth) montgomery boyfriend

1984 summer dave, roommate of ed 

2005 customer at super flea

2014 may  sheriff in houston texas

Memorizing useless information is common

 taught at schools

in institutions

at jobs

on tv 

at home

trivia 

time wasters

 in school learning worthless information

people that use me

jealous people hate my guts

cleaning other peoples kitchens houses bathrooms trash cans toilets messes doing their laundry as if i am a maid slave and they are too good to clean up after themselves

PAY attention to the way a man treats his wife, a woman treats her husband, children and family NOT just the way they treat you. FAKERS are nice to strangers and MEAN to family.

it used to be

 that i was young 

i wanted attention like anyone else

focused on my looks their looks health movement exercise brains Intelligence

and it was for procreation, the dance of sex  ..who would be best for producing offspring 

easy pz to get sex

hard as fuck to find decent long term mate

screwing someone is a piece of cake

living long term is not

there's a whole lot more to life than living for sex

what do you do the rest of the day after the orgasm is  over and the sob doesnt even want to look you in the face much less spend any time together

the thrill of sex alone isn't worth it. artificial insemination, fake phallus or other things would work great . save me a lot of headaches

Publicly nice and treats their loved ones like trash equals a disrespected person

The famous or common person will lose respect when the public discovers they are disrespectful to those closest to them

Malnutrition sleep deprivation induces causes

 illness mental and physical

what is the obsession with lolitas

 pinkie blue boy norman rockwell pictures

outfits like overalls rompers baby dolls

hate to have to sleep but love it when i am asleep

my first cell phone he said you dont need that fall of 1999

 now is like an attached limb or organ cant be without

i saw early the necessity of cellular just like i saw need for computer  before i began computer programming school august 1984

Never gonna get it UNTIL you GROW UP

 a thing I did not realize until a year or so ago...

he has been getting all the Candy, sweet stuff benefits from me and throwing SHIT at me continually

I am not a "man" hater I am an ASS Hole hater

 I love a mature MAN not an immature adult male who acts worse than a little brat boy]

What are your addictions? answering is optional

No safe place exists

Monkey wrench he is

never did i imagine he would be like this

 the person he was that i met in may 1987

soft spoken. mechanic. at his uncle norman noah rutherford house home junkyard pershing road raytown missouri

timid. shy. 

not aggressive or bold or rude or loud or mean or rough or pushy or threatening 

appeared to be calm clean self controlled polite respectful orderly neat 

persona in public dr jekyll nice guy nextdoor

9 5 2025 he pushed me in backyard yelled get the fuck out of my face!!

 shoved me in my shoulders almost knocked me down

i dont know if any witness anyone or neighbors saw

i didnt see anybody around thru fences in my our backyard

happened on north west side west of shed where the north fence covered in trees and brush only ellen lives north side of us our house. i dont know if she saw or heard him yelling at me and shoving me.  she is 68 yrs old not outside often

one day he is going to have witness or more than one when he pulls that attack on me again

time is coming closer for him to hang himself by being his ass hole self and he will blame his actions on me as always justifying his abusive behavior like he is entitled to treat me like shit doormat idiot slave

shapes attracted to

 mood feeling. what the body needs can determine shapes of things i or anyone or being is drawn to

the turtle i saw in the woods one afternoon over 10 years ago is but one example. it mounted an empty turtle shell as if the shell were alive and had a turtle body in it to mate. instinct

some think stealing from others is best way to success

 they hate to share

they want it because somebody else has it

instead of being happy with themselves and what they have

envy and jealousy rule. covet covetousness

thievery bribery lack of awareness of self preferences

acronym def

 mls mike michael lynn stillwell

ecm edward clay mertz

mcm maurice clayton mertz

sem sarah elizabeth mitchell. 12-22-1916

jwl john william layson. 11-13-1946

prm perry richard montgomery 7-19-1951

mmr. marjorie mae rutherford. mms marjorie mae stillwell

controllers isolate block from world

 thrive on your ignorance to maintain control

discourage your curiosity exploration connections new experiences

block originality creativity self direction and will

try to mold me or you into their desire

force their mindset onto other beings and things

hate change unless they do it

cannot be reasoned with

dirtball

schiz jekyll hyde 2face psycho

 misogynist woman female sister wife hater

does directly opposite of whatever i want or like

as soon as i am not looking

 or awake. as soon as i am gone. not aware not around

the shit really starts

like rats bats mice snakes bugs insects in the walls attic basement

People say ....

 thats not right. he should do this or that. you dont owe, him he owes you.  why stay why dont you just leave. go to a womens shelter. he is killing you. i wouldnt put up with that. thats wrong. 

Distractions roadblocks delay progress

Cleaning without water, she said...

 In 1993 or 1994 I was working at Clayton Estates in Belton, Missouri as an independent contractor doing make readys remodelling cleaning restoring old mobile homes. 

A woman who was also an independent worker for that company came into one of the homes I was working in and said, "Oh, the water is off. That's okay. I have cleaned without using water many times." She smiled as she stood there. 

And that comment never made sense to me. 

is it better to look good or be good .or both?

just dont say anything, he said

its always something i said

Happy person goes at own pace. Flexible

Push me I fail. I push myself I succeed

Fingers card player

 I was 18. It was 1979.

Fingers was an old married man, a friend of my husband Perry Richard Montgomery.

He was a great card player hence his nickname.

My husband took me and our one year old baby Ricky to visit this old man.

We sat at his kitchen table with his wife and he pulled out a deck of cards. After awhile he said let me show you my house, referring to me because i had never been there before.

Perry was in front of me walking thru hallways of rooms. Fingers was behind me as i carried my baby. Fingers wife was still in the kitchen.

As my husband turned a corner and he could not see me Fingers grabbed me turned me around to face him and tried to force me to kiss him. Old man dirty lips. I pulled back away from him scared as hell .

coughing hard to breathe

 bronchitis 

asthma