Tuesday, February 28, 2023
Friday, February 24, 2023
Thursday, February 23, 2023
I 'should' be blazing mad at the outside instead of getting depressed and internalizing anger wanting to kill myself
with all of the stupidity i have put up with
and suffered from personally (being stupid myself for not knowing that i was simply dealing with stupid people who really don't know what they are doing or they know exactly how asinine ass hole they are being and simply don't care; they really enjoy inflicting pain upon others and watching them suffer as much as possible)
i should be mad as fucking hell
as a raging bull ready to kill anything in my way
because i feel like in my life i have been robbed of years of love and life and joy
there have been many individuals who were like a huge block of solid rock stone like anchors weighing me down and
stopping me or attempting to stop me every step of the way
from living my life in the free way the freedom being way it is and should be for all life forms not just me
and.. the word "should' should not even be a word (in a dictionary or anywhere) or even contemplated by a being most of the time as it can stunt creative forces the creativity inherent in life especially humans
beings of absurd stupidity who are supposed to be, "should" be "wise" (sapien ???) or smart or intelligent and "should" know better
someone has been there to tell me what to do
when they should have been paying attention to what they are thinking and doing first and foremost
Wednesday, February 22, 2023
Man wants money in his pocket
he can get what he wants
he will toss money to beautiful girls/women
unable to control himself when he sees what he wants to touch, have, own, hold, use,
what gives him pleasure
sights sounds food activities sex
cars business
Tuesday, February 21, 2023
Texas Toms to Town & Country Market convenience store January 1981
1981 JANUARY
I was working at texas tom's restaurant 8619 blue ridge blvd
raytown, missour 64138 816-737-8100
87th & blue ridge texas tom's
first day in the back cutting tomatoes and onions
my blood was on the onions from my finger
had another job offer at town and country store off 350 hwy and
laurel
i quit the restaurant went to t&c
in late january 1981
rhis is where I met my 2nd husband ed mertz
he was playing pinball machines *2 of them) in the back of the store
one decision i made changed my future forever
just like any decision one person makes any moment
Luck, fate or what? Karma? Coincidence?
humans human beings
trying to figure things out
why? we ask
determining outcomes incidents events meanings
Monday, February 20, 2023
The ambulance just hauled off my neighbor, Chris
born january 1960
on kidney dialysis 3 times a week for years
diabetic
metabolic syndrome
he used to gorge on food fo years. he was a chef
drink all kinds of alcohol liquor to excess
ended up eating tons of sugar foods candy
lots of breads pasta and
fake butter/margarine
someone said this is supposed to be good for you i guess
he is probably dead now
Sarah.... Shut up. "Sarah Says" a mocking statement by a man at an auto repair shop back in the late 1990s
he said
i see sarah says in the skyu
as he waved his arm in the air up high
to mock my words
an old man at automobile repair shop on wornall road in kansas city missouri
There are many things that catch your eye, but only a few that will catch your heart. Pursue them." -- Anonymous
Your Daily Quotation:
"There are many things that catch your eye, but only a few that will catch your heart. Pursue them."
-- Anonymous
Figuring it out for yourself/myself is the best way to reach a conclusion and make decisions.
someone else telling me does not do me a lot of good
i must learn for myself
once i fully realize it
i understand
it sinks in
I am the best friend you will ever have... grandma Sarah used to say to me often. One day you'll mark my words.
Yes. She died December 2, 2008
at age 91
almost 92
December 22, 1916 dob date of birth
Corn fed Fat Hogs
Dad told me they fattened up the hogs by feeding them corn.
They eat some then are hungry soon afterwards so they are never satisfied.
The high sugar content carbohydrates don't fill them up so they end up
gaining weight and fatten up real good.
Window shopping
walk around the mall and buy nothing
shop inside many different stores and frequently buy nothing
might go back later and get an item if it is still there after a few days
a week or so maybe a month
Sunday, February 19, 2023
The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity,
The Dalai Lama, when asked what
surprised him most about humanity,
answered
"Man. Because he sacrifices his health in
order to make money.
Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.
And then he is so anxious about the future that
he does not enjoy the present; the result being
that he does not live in the present or the future;
he lives as if he is never going to die,
and then dies having never really lived."
Your persistence is your measure of faith in yourself." -- Author Unknown
Your Daily Quotation:
"Your persistence is your measure of faith in yourself."
-- Author Unknown
Saturday, February 18, 2023
The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." -- Author Unknown
Your Daily Quotation:
"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails."
-- Author Unknown
Nocturnal night owl since born. Me
Age 5 6 7 8
1st grade age 6 I told my grandpa LeRoy Mitchell
I wanted to eat my cereal at night before I go to bed so I wouldn't have to eat it in the morning
because I am not awake enough to eat and don't want any food when I get up
What’s a night owl?
Night owls tend to:
stay up late
enjoy sleeping in
feel their best later in the day
have more energy at night
feel tired after waking up early
have a hard time staying alert during the day
Being a night owl does have a few downsides. Since most of society is structured around a daytime schedule — like 9 to 5 workdays or daytime school and college classes — late risers might have a harder time holding a traditional job. Young night owls might even have trouble adjusting to a fixed school schedule.
A 2019 studyTrusted Source suggested that night owls may face other disadvantages, too, including increased risk of mental health conditions and metabolic concerns.
Still, while early birds might get the worms, night owls aren’t always left bereft. A preference for the evening hours isn’t always a bad thing, in other words. Plenty of artists, writers, and creative professionals find they get their best work done as the world quietly sleeps around them.
At the end of the day, it matters most that you get the right amount of sleep to maintain good health.
Is competition an attempt to kill the 'enemy' ??
If so then you/I will be the only survivor
all alone in this world
if you compete to kill all of the others
for what???
to have ability to be top procreator
interesting because it takes a female and a male to produce offspring
if there is only one male alive to produce and have sex
and he has sex with
Predicive analysis ; ANALYST is me
uncle larry wilson said I was an analyst back in the late 1990s
while i was visiting my dad's house
Tuesday, February 14, 2023
Only one person will cry
When I am dead and gone.
Damon my grandson
The only one in the world that loves me
I already told him that I will always be there even if he can't see me and one day I will be dead. Saturday February 11 2023 I reminded him again
He said he knows dead is not an if, it's an is.. it will happen to all
Monday, February 13, 2023
toothpicks or burn it; the log chunk of wood
choices
decide what to do with a piece of wood
crafts woodwork toothpicks
sawdust
fireplace burn it
Sunday, February 12, 2023
Saturday, February 11, 2023
Keep up with myself OR Keep up with the world
what makes more sense
which is easier
which is lighter
what can cause happiness or misery
Friday, February 10, 2023
Bull shit ads stereotypes information knowledge myths lies crap
milk does a body good
milk mustache
gatorade sports drinks replenish
breakfast first thing in morning best most important meal of the day
eating late at night causes weight gain
each person must get same amount of sleep daily 7 to 8 hours
98.9 temperature is normal
serving size meaurements
calories count towards weight regardless of the source
smoking is main cause of all cancer
cancer is in the genetic code
i can do anything someone else can do
all men women children are the same
hard work is necessary and the only thing that pays off
anything worth having is worth breaking your back and body for
you must work your ass off the get anything anywhere
hard to get is the best type of woman or man to have
only old people know anything worth a damn youngsters young people don't know much
there is only one type of beauty beautiful that fits the status quo for everyone worldwide
beauty contests are real and determine one person who is the best
competition cut throat is necessary to achieve anything worthwhile
if it comes easy it's not worth a damn
worth is determined by how much money i have and how much stuff i own
one diet fits all
you have to eat many small meals throughout the day instead of one large meal
you must eat 3 square meals a day
you must follow the food pyramid to eat healthy
Food, drink and drugs. Slow death and destruction or healing and health.
otc over the counter
pharmaceutical
scripts
prescription drugs
drinks food
vitamins
minerals
natural
fake
Thursday, February 9, 2023
I have to....
Do my taxes back 3 years from 2021...
John said laying in the hospital bed in long term care nursing home..
I said
John layson you don't HAVE to do a damn thing but
Die. That's the only thing you
Don't have a choice about
Back burner back of the shelf. Last in line.
whatever for what reason IDK i don't know
may be it is because OPPOSITES attract ????
a totally selfish bastard /bitch ends up with the selfless nice person because a selfish self centered person would never put up with another self centered ass hole like themselves
realize that i've been last of the list of anything for anyone I have been with as far as them considering what I want or need
does not give one rats iota ass about me only himself
they simply don't give a shit about what I want, say need think or feel
it's been purely about what they want first
i am last in line
IS IT ME or
IS IT THE TYPE OF MAN/PERSON I HAVE BEEN WITH????
well... it must be the type of man NOT me
because there are a few guys out there that truly love the people and the woman in their life
unfortunately I have never been with one of these kinds of nice guys
10 Things That Make a Woman Threatening to Other Women
https://pairedlife.com/etiquette/Top-Ten-Things-That-Make-a-Women-Threatening-to-Other-Women
10 Things That Make a Woman Threatening to Other Women
10 Reasons Why Other Women May Be Jealous of You
You're Beautiful
You're Smart(er Than Them)
You Have a Strong Work Ethic
You Don't Fit Into the Group Pecking Order
You're Confident
You're Fashionable
You're Thin
You Have a Strong Personality
You're Competitive
You're Wealthy
Disclaimer
While anyone of any gender can feel threatened by the qualities or behaviors a person exhibits, this article will focus solely on women. In many cultures, women are socialized differently than other genders, and the ways they're socialized can contribute to competitive, hostile, or unsupportive interactions.
Ten Traits That Make a Woman Threatening to Other Women
Let's take a closer look at these 10 qualities that can inspire jealousy.
1. You're Beautiful
Whether or not you believe you're beautiful, if other women around you think you’re prettier than them, you may struggle to connect with them. People of any age, body type, or size can be confident or insecure about their appearances. If someone feels that their appearance deviates from societally imposed standards of beauty, they may project their insecurity onto people who fit the standard more closely.
It's possible that other women may feel threatened by your beauty and your mere presence may make them feel inadequate. If they are single, they may see you as competition for romantic partners. If they are married, they might see you as a seductive temptress who is plotting to steal their spouses.
My Advice
Short of bodily mutation (that was a joke, not a suggestion), there is not much you can do to change your appearance. You can try to down-play your attractive features, but ultimately, you shouldn't have to hide your good qualities to assuage someone else's insecurities.
If people seem threatened by your appearance, it may be helpful to offer sincere compliments about their appearances to help them feel more confident and less threatened by you. Don't be excessively complimentary or self-deprecating, but be kind and encouraging. If you've demonstrated that you don't consider yourself to be better than others based on appearance and you're still being treated with hostility, consider distancing yourself from that relationship.
2. You're Smart(er Than Them)
It’s okay to be smart, so long as the people around you aren’t reaching for a dictionary to translate your last sentence. The bigger the words you use, the smaller your audience may feel. Until you know the people around you, keep the conversation and the mood light. Most people just want to have fun. Make sure that you're a fun conversationalist when you communicate with other people.
My Advice
Brainiacs should be smart enough to know that giving a lecture on some obscure topic can be alienating for the people around you! You don't have to dumb yourself down when you talk to other women, but if you're a very smart person, try to refrain from using your intelligence to make other people feel stupid. Don't show off or act condescending, but don't hide your intelligence either. Get comfortable with being yourself and let other people know the real you too.
3. You Have a Strong Work Ethic
Whether you're a stay-at-home mom who cooks every meal from scratch with organic ingredients grown in your own garden or the professional woman who performs every task above and beyond the call of duty, your hands-on approach to life can make some people feel insecure about their own work ethic. I know you’re probably thinking that lazy, bare-minimum bums need to rise to the occasion or just let it go. Unfortunately, the only thing they will want to see go is you.
My Advice
If your accomplishments and drive seem to make other people avoid you, try to avoid bragging, and don't offer unsolicited advice to people about their initiative or lack thereof. Save detailed conversations about your goals for friends who similarly have a lot going on.
4. You Don't Fit Into the Group Pecking Order
There are some women who try to bond with others by creating power imbalances and social hierarchies. One way to maintain a power imbalance is to undermine some people and make them seem inferior. This can be accomplished by putting other women down or by gossiping about them. Other members of the group will follow the lead of the more powerful person in the group so they won't get ostracized by everyone else.
Some people will contribute to and participate in unfair power imbalances because they want to, and some people will participate to avoid being placed at the bottom of the pecking order. These kinds of people are judgmental, critical, and mean.
My Advice
If a person is willing to engage in petty gossip with you, they will probably also gossip about you. The most critical people are often the ones who have been the most criticized. Take pity on gossips, but don’t get too close to them!
5. You're Confident
My grandma used to say, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it!” Well, don’t. It’s okay to know yourself and like who you are as long as you aren’t egotistical about it. When you walk into a room, does your presence say, “Here I am!” or “There you are?" Some under-confident people will feel threatened by another person's confidence. Make sure that you are being confident and not arrogant when you interact with people.
My Advice
Learn to like yourself and love others at the same time. You can be confident without being arrogant, and you should encourage your friends to be confident in themselves too.
Keep in mind that it's not your job to make someone else feel good about themselves. You can be the most supportive and encouraging friend and still encounter other people who will treat you as if you're doing something to undermine them. In addition to unabashedly owning your confidence, seek friends who can sport theirs without expecting you to shine less brightly.
6. You're Fashionable
To some women, a pair of high heels is the same as sporting a pair of fishnet stockings and a tramp-stamp. Don’t ask me why, but a well-dressed woman can strike fear into the souls of all your flip-flopping, ballet-flatty, tennis-shoe-sporting friends. Maybe you just like to play dress-up, but the insecure women around you won’t care. They will question your motivations until their insecurity eats both them and you alive.
My Advice
Know the dress code and don’t over-do it. There is a thin line between flashy and trashy. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and attractive, but be aware of how you're presenting yourself and what kind of outfits are appropriate for each occasion. If your friends complain about your clothes, consider what they're saying and why. Feel free to let them know that they're welcome to change the way they dress if they want to enhance their style or get a different kind of attention.
7. You're Thin
It doesn’t matter how much you weigh if you are skinnier than someone else. And the thinner you are, the easier you are to dismiss. It’s not because you are so small that they can’t see you, it’s because they are purposely ignoring you.
Heavier women may think that thin women just don't know what it is like to have a larger body type, and they're right to a certain extent. Thin people are not treated badly on the basis of their thinness, but large people are definitely treated badly based on their size and weight. While a thin person can understand that intellectually, she will not experience the same kind of prejudice as a larger person.
A plus-sized woman may be less open and friendly towards a thin person. Maybe she's been bullied or treated as if she's less important by thin people, and as a result, she may not want to be close to or vulnerable with you if you're thin. Perhaps you've flaunted your size or been disrespectful about hers. Or maybe she struggles with feelings of jealousy. No matter what the reason, weight can affect how a person is treated.
My Advice
Recognize that being thin is a privilege. You don't have to feel bad for being thin or apologize for it, but you should acknowledge that people (especially women) are treated differently based on their weight and body type. Treat all people with respect regardless of their appearance, acknowledge your privilege, and use it to be supportive towards people, rather than oppressive. Befriend people of all body types and treat them with dignity and respect.
If you still struggle to connect with a person because of the power and social imbalance associated with your sizes, then understand that sometimes, you can't be close friends with everyone. Unfortunately there are social and cultural systems that create barriers between people. Treat others kindly, but don't force a fit.
8. You Have a Strong Personality
There's a difference between being strong and being overbearing. A strong person is usually firm about who they are, their boundaries, and their beliefs. When a woman is strong, she typically doesn't need obedience or approval from every person she interacts with, and she can accept that she and her friends may disagree on some things.
However, an overbearing woman has an opinion about everything, and she usually insists on sharing that opinion. She always has an answer to every question, it just may not be the right one. She could be far left or far right, extremely spiritual or an extreme hippy, but no matter what she believes, she can be extremely annoying when she forces her opinions and perspectives onto other people. Which kind of woman are you?
My Advice
If you are the sort of person who embraces a black-or-white perspective try to recognize that most of the world operates in shades of grey. It's okay to have opinions or beliefs, but remember that other people may have different perspectives. Try to respect that other people will have their own ways of viewing the world and don't force your opinions onto other people.
9. You're Competitive
You know that girl who always has to win? The one who views every aspect of social interaction as a competition, and the one who will use your heart as a stepping stool to the top? Well, she may win the game, but she will lose her friends in the process. And what good is victory when you have no one to share it with?
My Advice
Don't let a sense of competition cause you to mistreat others and don't maintain friendships with overly competitive people. Even if you're a naturally competitive person, try to avoid treating all aspects of your social interactions as competitions. Constantly trying to out-do others will make it hard for people to be vulnerable with you. It might be a good idea to examine why you feel the need to compete with others.
10. You're Wealthy
The wealthier you are, the more out-of-touch you may be with average people and their problems. Women can connect over their weaknesses as much as their strengths. Your mansion and your luxury cars may be overwhelming to the most down-to-earth ladies. Being wealthy may eliminate some types of stress from your life, and some people may resent the fact that you have so much when they have less.
Unfortunately, even if you can hide your car in the garage, you can’t hide your Gucci purse, your designer jeans, or your wealthy lifestyle. Money talks, and in this case it may be saying, “I’m too good for you.”
My Advice
Don't flaunt your wealth or brag about the financial blessings you enjoy. Nobody likes a braggart, and it is hard to be friends with someone if they use their wealth to make others feel jealous. Try to be discreet about your capital—especially if your friends don't have the same financial background as you.
People can't help but compare themselves against each other.
Is She Jealous of Me?
People can dislike someone for a number of good and bad reasons. Sometimes a person will act mean because they're jealous of someone else. Are you constantly getting picked on or left out? Have friends who were previously cool suddenly become hostile or passive aggressive? Or maybe you just can't manage to feel welcomed by a group of people no matter how hard you try to befriend them. Inexplicably hostile people may be feeling jealous of you. But how can you know for sure? There are a number of signs that someone is jealous of you.
Even though feeling jealous and dealing with jealous people is a part of life, you can determine whether or not you want to continue interacting with jealous people. You can also decide how you will respond when you feel jealous of someone else. Don't hurt other people because you feel jealous, and don't accept hurtful treatment from people who are jealous of you. While we can't control how people treat us, we can make decisions about who we decide to interact with based on how we feel around others.
Why Women Feel Threatened (and How to Get Over It)
There is a difference between feeling threatened and feeling intimidated. The difference is fear. When a woman feels threatened, she is afraid that you will take (or try to take) something she has (including her man, her confidence, her best friend, the role she has established in her group, etc.) or something she wants (like a promotion, a future boyfriend, etc.).
In any case, these threatened feelings usually stem from our own insecurities. People don’t fear losing the things they are secure about. When a beautiful woman walks in the room, we may feel intimidated or jealous, but we won’t feel threatened unless we are insecure about our own looks. Feeling threatened can bring out the worst in us. We may shut down or lash out when we let insecurity get the best of us.
Overcoming Insecurities and Building Bridges
Don't be self-righteous or act like you're better than someone who feels threatened by other women. Everyone has insecurities, and everyone will feel threatened sometimes. The best way to overcome these feelings is to recognize that you feel insecure and examine why you feel that way. When you take an honest look at yourself, you may be less inclined to be hurtful to someone else.
If you're being ostracized by other women, let me offer my condolences to you. It’s tough being singled out. Even if your positive traits alienate some people, you still have your striking beauty and outstanding I.Q. as consolation prizes.
All jokes aside, I hope that you will move forward with a newfound awareness of your appealing traits, and I hope you will practice humility, kindness, and gentleness with the women around you. If you feel that you're being unfairly judged for your positive qualities, consider going the extra mile to prove that you are more than a pretty face, and that your life is not as perfect as it seems.
We All Deserve Good Friends
You need and deserve good friends just as much as any other person. Envious, insecure people may pick on you out of fear, and people who act that way probably dislike parts of themselves more than they could ever despise you.
If an empathetic and friendly approach to bonding with some people fails, keep in mind that you can always try to befriend people who will treat you well. You don't have to stay connected to hurtful people, and it is not solely your job to make a relationship work. In addition to being empathetic and self-aware, have enough self-respect to know when you deserve better.
Change your thoughts and you change your world." -- Norman Vincent Peale
Your Daily Quotation:
"Change your thoughts and you change your world."
-- Norman Vincent Peale
And a child shall lead them.........
the love from my grandson Damon Mertz is so strong..
bonding all of us together
Hot water lowers blood pressure. Cold water raises it.
Learned from Theresa lady who works at j Thomas Lovell community center. On Monday evening after February 6, 2023 after 6:30 pm
Wednesday, February 8, 2023
Sitting in front seat of my van
Happened more than once
Was on my cell phone sitting in driver's seat or passenger seat another time., relaxed my back hurting and a man walked up
Approached window talking to me...
Location 350 hwy minute mart gas station, man gave me his phone number said he likes white not black women his name had God in it, some church going guy..
Location burger king red bridge Holmes man
Cliques Clubs Groups
I don't fit in with the club clique group of any
fads
movies
sports
celebrities celebs
Snubbed, rejected, left out
Food for the holidays. Grocery sales planned designed for holiday celebrations we have become associated with
united states
january
february valentines day
march
st patricks day
april easter
may mothers day
june fathers day
july 4th of july independence day fireworks
august
september
october
chili and beans and hamburger meat tomatoes onions
november
thanksgiving
december
christmas
Sporting events: appeal to basic needs
survival and sex and food
cute pretty young healthy girls dressed in short skirts tiny tops
jumping dancing cheering singing for the boys
boys overdressed to look big strong healthy
fighting running fast simulating survival in the wild woods
chasing prey to hunt for food
bigger stronger better
men chasing monsters always looking for sex broadcasting their importance with the car truck business they own money they have to show bravado how smart they are what they can offer a female to lure her onto their lap
women looking cute pretty gorgeous attractive and collecting food decorating themselves and their home or wherever they are
Tuesday, February 7, 2023
Audrey Ashburn. Favorite teacher. Physical science 7th grade. Belton, Missouri 1973-1974
NICE. Lovely lady.
Loves all of the kids and all people.
Energetic. Bright. Patient. Kind. Sweet.
Physical body short slightly round.
Runs across the long room moving quickly
Learning is FUN
We are NOT all served the same dish to use in life. We are unique combinations. colors, flavors, all of it
different sets of tools
amounts of minerals chemicals
appearances
abilities capabilities
drive desire
temperament
Blood pressure goes down in the heat. It goes up when you're cold.
Just learned this last night at the spa/hot tub
at J. Thomas Lovell Community Center
Cinnamon candies for the apples
i remember these in the fridge when i was 7 years old
mom made candy apples and made little red dots on wax paper
and put them in the refrigerator
Not knowing you dont know is nuts
Almost everyone else knows you're crazy
But you think you are the only SANE one and everyone else is nuts
Seems to be true real insanity
Monday, February 6, 2023
I think I can, I think you can, I know you can.... my mom and dad, parents taught me this....
It stays with me..
forever
2013 July 7 My birthday my grandson was created and born April 11, 2014
I was at Lew's Grill & Bar 7539 Wornall
7421 Broadway Kansas City MO
restaurant with my son Clayton.
He took me there to celebrate my birthday
Told him I could not describe the feeling one has when they have their own child
You must experience it to know
Saturday, February 4, 2023
Self-mastery and self-discipline are the foundation of good relationships with others." -- Stephen R. Covey
Your Daily Quotation:
"Self-mastery and self-discipline are the foundation of good relationships with others."
-- Stephen R. Covey
Friday, February 3, 2023
Associations are formed: Sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, feelings are triggered
shape of the glass
yesterday the sight of the clear beverage drinking glass triggered a message to me 'drink soda over ice"
so I drank a dr pepper soda pop over ice (first time in many months) however i did not use the clear beverage glass I have and saw due to past experience knowing that the glass condensates leaving water puddles on the table
Thursday, February 2, 2023
Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
Your Daily Quotation:
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."
-- Dale Carnegie