December 31, 1980. New years eve i spent in jail

 lees summit missouri

my age. i was 19

sambos restaurant. police officer came in. asked if i was sarah wilson, montgomery

yes i am

he took me to jail. failure to appear in court over a traffic violation of failing to yield right of way as i had turned left on a green light to enter the highway. i had taken drivers education and wasnt taught didnt know about yielding to drivers going straight thru intersection when i was turning when i had a green light 

this incident is an indicator of the future...the present..  i have experienced for many years of not having holiday celebrations

i got sick with a flu while in that jail cell. fever. throwing up. the runs. zero medical attention for 3 days i was in there. i could have died for all they cared or knew. 

i had been working at sambos restaurant for a few months. divorce was final october 1980. 

the guy i was living with came into the restaurant the day my divorce was final. mike stone. he said the papers came today. i want to get married to you. i said when. he said tomorrow. when i got back to his apartment in belton missouri i packed all my things into my car and left him for good. i was scared to death to even think about marriage after all i had been through.

i lived in my car from mid october until dec 31 1980. the day i was released from jail approximately january 1 or 2 1981 my dad came and got me. he said sarah you can stay with me and dottie his wife my stepmother at 8201 spring valley rd raytown missouri.

1980 i had no thanksgiving christmas or new years eve celebrations. i did not attend family get togethers.

much like what has been going on here for the last 10 ten years.

was it foretelling forecasting indicating my future ? 34 to 44 years later..

i felt like i was going to die while in that cell. sick. cold. miserable. crying. 

today i have no cold or flu or fever. i am cold and cry often. 

maybe a sickness will hit me like the grim reaper and take me away from this life where i feel dead half the time anyway. a ghost i am unseen unheard. 

ghosted by most people who know me. they act like i am not there when i am 2 feet in front of them.

wont look at my face. wont listen when i talk.

uninvited. black sheep. outcast. scapegoat.

any verbal or physical abuse is justified in the perpetrator and by any person in my family or neighborhood.

what did you do sarah, what did you say . you did something wrong. justifies the justified treatment you get you stupid worthless bitch.

during my 3 months of living in my car i stayed with several different people all of them males and only 2 guys did not take advantage of me. jimmy coursey and a guy named john i think.

i cant remember all of their names. i remember personalities their homes and lifestyles.