Husband, grandma/grandmother (maternal), ex husband. Hot tempered. Easily aggravated. Throws temper tantrums often.
Sits and stews brews anger daily over whatever is going on that they don't like .. usually something someone said or did or meant or implied or didn't do or was about to do. Broods/brooding.
Becomes quiet for awhile with fixed gaze then picks their appropriate time which almost always coincides with dinner time meal time or at any time of day.. the first thing in the morning is also a favorite time ... or when coming into the door of the house. Will find something somewhere to be upset about and yell.
then she/he will blow a fuse, cork, the rage and temper becomes out of control...
they fly into a rage like a screaming banshee
I was a child living with grandma when she did this "stunt" almost daily at home in the car, or anywhere we were togegther where there WERE NOT OTHER people around. She didn't want anyone else to hear her nasty words or see her when she committed her heinous crimes of throwing fits at me frequently.
I was trying to figure out what she was and I became interested in psychology. I thought she was a "hysterical neurotic" after I read about psyche disorders when I was 10, 11, 12 and a teenager.
By the time I was 10 years old I thought I wanted to be a psychiatrist. Later I decided psychologist due to finding out the educational requirements and length of time it would take to be a shrink who could dispense meds.
He does the same thing. Status is important. What would the neighbors think?
She wanted to be perfect. She said she was a perfectionistic and very proud of it. She wanted me to be her model of perfection. She said she was going to mold me.
She had an extreme aversion and hatred for cigarette smoke and any kind of smoke. She quit smoking cigarettes September 17, 1967. Benson and Hedges gold pack. So after she quit suddenly this smoking became one of her frequent topics of conversation saying how much she hated it and that "rich people don't smoke" (Haha. Look at hollywood bollywood celebs celebrities then and now today with all of the drugs some of them do. The are simply people like anyone else. Not special, perfect or godlike in any way. Not above any kind of habit, activity, desire, urge, instinct good or bad)
So I would almost be like a frozen model doll alot of the time not knowing exactly when the shit was going to hit the fan and doing my best to do my chores my homework my duties .. go to school. Clean house. There was a whole lot of house cleaing at grandma's house. She had chores for me to do constantly every single day. She could not stand to see me relaxed. Happy enjoying myself. Or anyone else.
She had to upset me and nitpick, nag, bitch pick a fight. Blow up.
She thought it was "good to get anger out of her system" with a "good fight" every once in awhile, claiming it was good and cleared the air. She was proud of her hot temper and controlling nature.
Proud of her money and material things. Her house, clothes, car. Furniture. Nice things. Said she thought she looked like a million bucks.
The get pissed over a look on my face. A word I said or did not say. The way I look. The way I act. My tone of voice. My preferences in food, music, activities. My thoughts spoken or unspoken.
My dreams, desires, hopes wishes. My peace and love I feel and talk about and display. My hugging other people. Jealousy ensues.
Who I hang around with. Who I talk to. Who I don't talk to.
Grandma taught me some beneficial things: Keep my body, house and car clean. Eat high quality good healthy food. Take vitamins. Manage money. Stay out of trouble. Be honest. Keep my "nose clean". Sex is the number one thing men want. Stay away from people who look bad and do bad things like being dirty in mind body soul and surroundings. Do not associate with criminals. Work a "decent' job. Earn money legitimately. Don't cuss/use curse words (even though she cursed like a sailor often..I was not allowed to say even the word "crap" around her). Watch my mouth. Be respectful, polite, courteous.
She never showed me how to figure a checkbook or actually manage money.. I learned it all by myself after I left her house/home and lived on my own with husband one two and three. But I remember her methods of keeping all the bills in a holder on the wall in the kitchen and paying them on time.
I remember her taking me shopping for clothes and she would get items on sale. She bought me new, nice clothes until I was 14 when I told her I wanted to pick out my own clothes. Then she put her foot down because I wanted control over my own dress choices and she never took me clothes shopping again.
Any time I display my own choices which differ from hers or his they become extremely upset. Lack of control.
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