I've made my own room of everything. Like a studio apartment. To survive narc abuse.

my bedroom: 

sleep, eat, bathroom, cook, laundry, sew, work, dance, exercise

 

bed. sleep. eat. food. computers, tablets, phones, laundry in the bath tub

sew, sewing machine, sewing boxes

merchandise for sale and the things that will be listed

photographs, photo picture viewer

television, dvds, vhs but no vcr just a dvd player that wont play home made dvds

this is the same thing I  did when I was a child, teenager, in my 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, now in my 60s

my grandmother was a full blown narcisisst, appearing so nice and perfect in public and a raving nasty screaming controlling micromanaging bitch at home with me and grandpa..always telling us what to do and thinking she knows what the entire world SHOULD be and becoming ill because she could not control the world and people and things were not what she wanted them to be. always saying stuff to me like this is the right thing to do, this is wrong, never say or do this or that. look good outside the status the public appearance is the most important thing of all yet she herself could be the ugliest looking acting mean person and flip over doing a 180 opposite looking nice loving caring innocent and go on and on and on about how much she did/does for other people, how perfect and beautiful and great of a person she is, how she only wanted the best for me and she wanted the best for all of her children. she hated every partner female or male that her 2 sons and one daughter was with and almost every boy/male/man that i was with, judging them instantly and saying they were pure and total white trash.

she focused on actors, actresses famous in the media, the movies, the news basing her decisions upon what a person was supposed to do saying shit to me like 'the rich people don't smoke' (which is a lie because some of them smoke, some don't). ironically enough my husband acts exactly like she did. 

it's like they don't know who they really are, can't truly be themselves constatnly afraid they are being judged, criticized, condemned, ridiculed by the neighbors, friends, strangers, family and yet that is exactly what they do to me and everyone else. a constant flow of criticism and lack of acceptance of the self in totality, unable to accept any flaw, any mistake or slip up especially from me. as if i am supposed to 100% perfect and she/he can fuck up and act like a total demon devil and that is supposed to be the right way to act, to be.