After years..

 i hate the sound you make when you eat 

i can't stand your voice 

i don't like the way you look 

i don't like your clothes 

i don't like your music 

i can't stand the way you smell 

your breath stinks 

i don't like the stink from the things you do and the food you eat 

i don't like the way you think 

i don't like your hobbies 

i don't like your friends, your family 

i don't like your job 

i can't tolerate much about you so I think you should be dead. you don't deserve to live 

basically almost everything about me he hates

this is the way he is and how my husband treats me

in the beginning i was accepted for most of what I am

over the years it has degenerated in to intense loathing hatred increased mental cruelty and advanced to physical violence hitting punching slapping 

and I don't like the stinking things he does, the dirty lack of cleanliness, clutter, hoarding, hiding, conniving, threats, insults, humiliation, criticizing, 

i don't want to live with him or anyone else because I know. I've already been through it. whoever i live with turns to hate even when my best friend and sister in law lived with me. eventually you can't stand each other. familiarity is contempt, regardless of how well you get along before living together. every time, every person I have stayed with. every person I know and meet experiences the same thing. 

i want to live in a clean organized environment. i want to have food i like, do the hobbies i love, have friends if my choice, earn money how i want. i want my choices, my life, things the way I want.nobody in my way. 

i want to do what I want when I want.