my appearance, the way i dress, walk, talk, look, sound, smell,
he watches closely what i do, each and every look, expression, tone of my voice, how i smell,
he tries to figure out what i am doing, what i am thinking and tries to direct my thoughts to what he is thinking and feeling at the moment... i maintain my own thoughts which frustrates him to the max
how i act/react ..he is looking for a reaction from me, usually a bad one like anger, hatred, etc to reflect his own feelings of wrath
i need to learn to be quiet, don't say what i am going to do, what i want or think or feel
never give detailed answers. he questions every breath i take, every move i make and i want to explain and i need to STOP explaining immediately..he understands NOTHING
never reveal plans, goals, dreams, desires, finances,
be grey/gray rock neutral all of the time
so he has no idea what i am thinking or feeling at any moment
it is just like in so many movies i have seen about crazy people, usually men, that are psychotic, neurotic, obsessed,
so i can act nice and give him what he apparently wants at the moment like cookies and a bunch of junk food instant trash
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