My Spine is cracking and burning. Twisted Sister's First visit to chiropractor tomorrow at TMC Lakewood KC CORE

My Spine is cracking and burning. Twisted Sister's First visit to chiropractor tomorrow at TMC Lakewood
KC CORE

7900 Lee's Summit Rd
Kansas City, MO 64139
816-404-7000

What will happen?

Husband says "No one is going to fix you. You are already almost 60.
It's just going to get worse. I don't know what to do. I can't do anything
about it."

"You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You cannot do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson 

He said he is aggravated by expecting the cat to bring in firewood.

He said he is aggravated by expecting the cat to bring in firewood.
This is pure insanity, I said.

Expecting a being to do what it can't do,
what it is not intended nor inclined to do.

No wonder why people get so frustrated
so mad, angry, pissed off and tempermental

That says it all in the attitude of unrealistic expectations.
This is what I live with every day.

1-26-2020

World is designed to get you sick and keep you down

World is designed to get you sick and keep you down
run yourself ragged into the ground
until your early death and
never have time to think in solitude

forbidden to have a mind of your own
not allowed to get enough rest or pace yourself
constantly compared with the rest
competing to get nowhere but dead
at your expense not theirs

If you are alone you will be aware of what is happening
in the news, the media, the society of the world with
ads promoting activities, drinks, foods that are unhealthy
promoting overindulgence lacking in moderation
causing addictions of every kind
to ease the pain induced by
going against your very nature

This keeps the money go round going
ran by the minority of the financially wealthy rich
who know not to do what they tell us to do
filling your head with hypocritical lies
do as I say not as I do

1-26-2020

World is designed to get you in debt and keep you there

World is designed to get you in debt and keep you there
ads try to make you think you need something you don't
make you think there is lack where there is none
there is something wrong with you
when there isn't
to fulfill a created "need" that they the advertiser creates

nature of human beast
to want something if you see someone else have it (envy)
be dissatisfied with what you have and want something else (lack of
appreciation thus complaining, bitching, whining and moaning,
throwing a temper tantrum)
or want more than what you need (greed)
to think you can be like someone else
if you dress like, appear like, pretend and act like them
 and own and control them (jealousy)

1-26-2020

I know why I am the way I am now and how I got here

I know why I am the way I am now and how I got here

a result of treatment and behavior of other people
always being watched monitored
in all of life's situations
at home, at work, in the neighborhoods I have lived in
throughout my life

attempts to control my thoughts, feelings, opinions,
preferences, things I learn on my own
learning, work, daily needs, habits, desires, wants,
emotions.

those who have fallen prey to mass media
advertising and lies
tell me to shut up
have labelled me as crazy
and do not know what I am talking about

they don't want to hear it
don't want to hear me "philosophize", analyze,
figure out anything
don't want to listen to my revelations, realizations,
observations, conclusions, analysis,dreams, goals
because my own realizations are
different and in conflict with what is pushed
on all of us from media, news, ads, slogans.

I am not famous, not well known, am not a celebrity
I am un unknown, not in the news, not considered an
important person anywhere with a reputable reputation
I am not friends with any person of "high" social status
therefore what I say is of no relevance, no importance
and has no meaning

It is an amazing and surprising thing that I have
survived, am still alive and haven't blown my
brains out or otherwise committed suicide
considering that I am operating on my own
self generated observations and
have endured constant insults, humiliations,
threats, disrespect, ridicule and general
disbelief and head shaking attitudes from
those closest to me in my family and at jobs I held in the past.

I have been laid off, fired, shunned and ignored
from many jobs I had working for someone else or
in a company or corportate environment

1-26-2020

Exhaustion is often labelled as laziness by fools.

Exhaustion is often labelled as laziness by fools.

Confused, ignorant humans will wrongly, erroneously say you are LAZY
when you are
tired, sick, worn out, in pain, not interested, relaxed, at ease, comfortable,
sleeping, resting, not pushing yourself beyond your limits.

I've heard this garbage from many uninformed people ever
since I was a little girl.

I've heard about the early death of many talented people
who were pushed by others into an early grave.

I've experienced and witnessed the stress, the abuse, the
addictions to various things like drugs to speed you up or
bring you down, overdoing, overworking, overeating and
over listening to this most stupid belief that only exists
in human beings.

They will say things like
"If you really wanted to...
"You can do it if you just work HARD and put in LONG hours...
"You only need to sleep 4 hours a day...
"If you TRY hard enough you can do ANYTHING and be anything
you want.... but are NOT designed to do.....
"You can be a man if you are a woman and do men's work, dress, think
and act like a man.. in fact you can grow a penis and change your
entire body into a man's if only you will believe it, TRY hard enough and
PUSH yourself into being a man...
and vice versa:
"You can be a woman if you are a man if you believe it and
think, act, dress and do all of the things a woman does. You
can get rid of the penis and have a vagina instead, can grow
breasts, get pregnant and carry babies in your womb if you
would only have a strong desire to do these things...




1-24-2020

Grandma said, "A man wants one thing". .. Sex

Grandma said, "A man wants one thing". .. Sex

I defied her, tried to prove her wrong
by
using my intelligence
working hard and diligently at many jobs
studying hard
loving school
reading thousands of books
My intelligence failed

but she is right
right as rain
right as nature

Men are attracted to beauty, period.
Not brains.

Will he still love you if you get ugly, old, fat, stink and have a nasty personality? Would I love an old, ugly, fat, stinking man who has a rotten personality?

Will he still love you if you get ugly, old, fat, stink and have a nasty personality?
Would I love an old, ugly, fat, stinking man who has a rotten personality?

The dentist isn't taking care of your teeth. You do it with your daily habits.

The dentist isn't taking care of your teeth. You do it with your daily habits.

Experiences and routines activate genes.

Experiences and routines activate genes.

I was not born obese. I was born slim weighed 6 lbs 2 oz.
I am not and never have been obese.
Obesity is created through activities, routines/habits/thought processes.

I was not born with cancer.
I do not have it, never did and never will.

Cancer is created through experiences, exposure and habits.

My father died at 75 due to taking a dozen, 12 different
prescription medications to treat
diabetes type 2, high blood pressure, etc.

He acquired lung cancer/liver problems due to
his experiences and daily habits of
overeating highly processed foods with lots of sugar
lack of proper exercise
not getting enough sleep
working long hours every day
ingesting too much coffee/caffeine
drinking too much whiskey and/or beer at night
beginning when he was 50 years old,
thanks to his 3rd wife he married July 4, 1977.
She was ignorant, not a very bright person and
fed him a diet full of all types of wrong foods
and pushed him to overeat and wouldn't let him
get enough sleep.

When he began eating sugar free foods like pancake syrup
he developed severe "cluster" headaches like migraines
and had blurred vision, severe watering of his eyes.
I now realize why he had those terrible headaches.
He was allergic to sugar free substances like me.
He was and I am
phenylketonuric, pku. Cannot process the
amino acid: l-phenylalanine.

Warning Phenylketonurics: Contains L-Phenylalanine

I cannot digest sucralose or saccharin or any other
artificial sweeteners.


Aspartame Side Effects - Aspartame Dangers Revealed!

My grandmother on my mom's side also had
severe migraines for many years and she didn't know why.

She would "randomly' suffer from a migraine headaches for
several days or a week and would go to the doctor to
get a pill: caffergot, to "prevent" the headaches from
coming. But it didn't work. She was using artificial
sweeteners, saccarhin being her favorite, in her decaffeinated coffee.

She also drank coffee mixes like
that contain artificial ingredients.

Amazing she lived to almost 92 and died with alzheimer's disease.
It was several wrong ingredients that made her sick.
She also ate alot of margarine (fleishman's was one of the most
common) and thought she was doing the right thing by
eliminating "bad" fats from her diet like any kind of
animal grease (bacon, beef, chicken fat, etc.). She
had stomach surgery and used to say she had "half her guts
taken out". She also had back surgery to correct a
slipped disc when I was 5, back in 1966. She was 50
years old at the time.





1-20-2020

Air, water, sunlight, food, shelter, warmth, temperature. Activity. Movement. Proper type and amount of exercise for me/you/any being.

Air, water, sunlight, food, shelter, warmth, temperature. Activity. Movement.
Proper type and amount of exercise for me/you/any being.

1-20-2020

My father, Gilbert John Wilson, Sr. 7-17-1927 to 1-28-2003 A tribute.

My father, Gilbert John Wilson, Sr.
7-17-1927 to 1-28-2003
A tribute.

Big-hearted, kind, warm and had a soft heart.
Easily brought to tears.
Didn't know a stranger.
He brought people together instead of pushing them apart.
We had many family get-togethers for holidays and dinners.

Real. Genuine. Unique. Bold. Confident. Generous. Adventurous.
Curious. Intelligent. Informed.
Supportive. Understanding.
Always reading, learning, sharing, helping others.
He taught me that we are all free spirits. We have unique paths
and make our own choices.

Had 10 kids and loved us all tremendously.

Taught me several things about cooking food.
Knew the best restaurants to eat at all of the Kansas City area
and took me and others out to eat.

My father taught me a few things about working on cars and a little about electricity.
I wasn't keen on being an electrician so I didn't pursue it.
I lean towards the art of dancing, writing, music, philosophy, psychology,
astrology, understanding of many things like religion and other
fields such as accounting, organizing, clean up, maintenance.

He had a wide variety of friends, associates, contacts and employees
from all cultures (today it is called races, which is incorrect as we are all
members of the human race).

Independent. Entrepreneur. 1969 started his own business Wilson Electric
and worked until the day before he died.

Dad was the center hub of the wheel of our family and his business associates.
When he passed it all fell apart. People drifted away from each other.

He was a 32nd degree Mason. Member of the Shriner's. Dad loved children and all people
and showed his love at home and wherever he went.

He never saw me dance to the music I love: disco, r&b, soul, hiphop,
hard rock. When he took me out we danced to country music, his favorite.

Do I miss him? Of course I do. But what has kept me going is knowing
that half of me is him. I see him in my two sons and in my two grandsons.
I see him in my brothers and sisters.
He lives on in me and in my family.

7-8-2018

When I miss my parents I tell myself they will always be with me because I am half my mom and half my dad.

When I miss my parents I tell myself they will always be
with me because I am half my mom and half my dad.

Dad passed January 28, 1993. Mom passed December 14, 2003.

1-20-2020

Narcs like to keep you confused and off balance

Narcs like to keep you confused and off balance
upset your center of gravity like you're a punching
bag or weighted doll people hit trying to knock them over

They try to wipe out your confidence and self worth
to make and keep you dependent upon them

Tactics
watching everything you do
and watching everyone else
lacks introspection
lurk like snakes observe like eagles
attempts to control your thoughts, feelings,
desires, needs, wants, emotions
fault finding, insults often about personal
things you cannot change such as your
genetically inherited looks, body, voice, preferences
for food, clothes, music, virtually anything
says you are flawed and have bad taste
because you are different from them
humiliate, ridicule/make fun of
constant criticism
threats
name calling
changes the rules of their games they play on you (a very
cunning trick to cause major confusion in you so that
you can NEVER win at any of their games


brief periods of praise, attention and "love"
a limited small number of "compliments" they give you
just enough to string you along the love line

then like a bullwhip scorpion lashing out and snapping back
reverting back to mean nasty hateful words behaviors
and actions including smirks on their face,
tsk tsk sounds of disgust about how totally stupid you are
and retreating back into the cold shoulder silent treatment
for days, weeks, months or even years

hanging up the phone on you the moment you
express a different opinion or fact they don't believe in
refuse to listen to what you have to say
cares not about what you want or how you feel
blames you for their own bad behavior and
anything "bad" that may happen
is not supportive of your dreams, ideas, visions, goals
unless and ONLY IF it coincides with and is identical to theirs

later, weeks or months, etc. denies having said the
exact words that came out of their mouth
and/or claims "I may have said something like that"
"What I meant was ..blah blah blah"
clams up and says nothing when you recount
their abusive physical actions
promptly changes the subject
turns the statement around on you saying you
were in the wrong and to blame for their bad and
disrespectful behavior
("I wouldn't have done/said that if you hadn't have
been like this or that or said or done that".
"It's your own fault" is a frequent saying of theirs)
"It's not my fault.."   "You're a magnet for trouble"

narcissist information
narc busting

1-18-2020

When I was 16 the only thing I could cook was a grilled cheese sandwich and heat up a can of soup.

When I was 16 the only thing I could cook was a grilled cheese sandwich and heat up a can of soup. Now I can cook a lot of food dishes and I enjoy it.
When I go to a restaurant I can enjoy the food and realize the
actual cost of the food and often think I could make that at home even better
and healthier than that. I think I know what I am putting in the food I
make at home.

Time is what it takes. Patience, thought, feeling and planning.
Clean up, doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen takes time
and it is worth the wait.

Fast food and premade pre seasoned, pre chopped
convenience restaurant food and snack food is designed for those who work
full time jobs don't have the time or interest in preparing food.
It tastes really good but you will pay the price with your life ending early.

Diabetes
metabolic syndrome
liver failure, kidney failure, heart failure, stomach, pancreas, gallbladder,
adrenal glands, brain degeneration
Cancer
Psychiatric problems


1-17-2020

Had a wonderful dream of swimming during a nap this evening.

Had a wonderful dream of swimming during a nap this evening.
5:30 to 7 pm

After eating bbq ribs baked potato with butter and greek yogurt, corn
and homemade beef stew made today I laid down.
Woke up remembering a beautiful dream of me and my husband
swimming in a very large pool. How refreshing. It felt so good.

1-17-2020

Advanced aging causes: lack of sleep, stress, dehydration, trying to be
what you are not

listening to bad advice


diet: sugar overload, excess salt consumption
eating wrong foods for you at the time

ignoring body needs/cues when tired, hungry, sexual desires, socialization,
companionship, solitude,

overdoing or underdoing
exercise, sleep, eating, drinking, working

attempting to conquer and change nature and natural desires

forcing things instead of allowing



1-17-2020

The only thing I need to do is what I can do. Focus on the self can do. Forget the rest.

The only thing I need to do is what I can do. Focus on the self can do. Forget the rest.

1-17-2020

My favorite subject is me, myself and I. Admit it.

My favorite subject is me, myself and I. Admit it.

1-17-2020

Chiropractor appointment next week at TMC Lakewood in Kansas City, Missouri. January 23, 2020 at noon.

Chiropractor appointment next week at TMC Lakewood in Kansas City, Missouri. January 23, 2020
at noon.
I hope they can fix my back in six visits. TMC gold card plan charges 5 dollars each
for the first 6 visits and 60 dollars for each additional visit.

Ourselves, experiences and our interests are usually our favorite subjects. That is all we know.

Ourselves, experiences and our interests are usually our favorite
subjects. That is all we know. 

song you get off on hurting me

song

you get off on hurting me

12-30-19

My female intelligence/intellect has nothing to do with attracting males/men. It never has. My looks/appearance is the only thing that was attractive.

My female intelligence/intellect has nothing to do with attracting males/men.
It never has. My looks/appearance is the only thing that was attractive.

January 13, 2020

A man who loves his mother is a successful man.

A man who loves his mother is a successful man.

My Grandma Sarah used to say this all of the time.

I will add this: A mother who loves her sons and daughters is a successful mother.
A father who loves his children is a happy man.
A parent who loves their child results in a child who loves their parents.
This is it.
Parents who were loved as children produce loving adults and
a world of loved and loving people.

January 13, 2020

Chess is not my game.  I don't play chess well. 

My mom was the queen of northeast. Kansas City, Missouri.
December 14, 2003 her body died and her spirit lives on.
Born May 14, 1939.
I am half my mom and half my dad.

She would have to be gorgeous. He said. In order to have sex with her.

She would have to be gorgeous. He said.
In order to have sex with her.

I respect and am respected. No longer will I endure disrespectful behavior. When it appears, I disappear.

I respect and am respected. No longer will I endure disrespectful behavior.
When it appears, I disappear.

As a child, teenager, adult I ran from those who are rude, mean, hateful,
just plain impolite. People KNOW how to be polite.
1-9-2020

Building the studio for mama Hey mom

Building the studio for mama
Hey mom

Mom's gone.

Mom's gone.

There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want and second to enjoy it.

There are two things to aim at in life:
first, to get what you want
and second to enjoy it.

freelottery pool quote 12-30-2019

The hub husband tries to destroy my beauty
so no one else will have me
No one else will want me

Each person needs to have enough money in
savings at all times to replace everything they have
and to pay all utility bills.
House, cars, furniture, appliances,
clothes, food, all of it.
My guestimate is I need to have at least 3 to 4 hundred
thousand dollars in a savings account just to cover
the cost of replacing housing, contents, vehicles, personal
items (clothes, etc.), food.
This doesn't include money needed for property taxes
due for the home and vehicles, mandatory insurance
required by the feds for the home and vehicles.

Beauty drives the male.

Beauty drives the male.

I can recount thousands of my own anecdotes
life's experiences to attest to this..
hundreds of thousands

He doesn't care what you want

He just wants it
the IT
The P, the pussy, sex, vagina, to get back in there where he
came from

He doesn't care what you think
He doesn't care what you feel
He wants back in

Beauty not duty drives the male to the female.

Beauty not duty drives the male to the female.


1-23-2019

February 27, 2019

40 year old Pastor/preacher never to preach again after having sex with 23 year old female
church member.

biology is real

40 year old pastor has sex with 23 year old banned from ever preaching again

97.4 degrees seems to be my normal temperature

97.4 degrees seems to be my normal temperature
I've been taking my temperature when I wake
and it varies between 97.3 to 97.8 degrees

Last Oct 21 to November 22, 23, 24 I had a flu, maybe a virus
and I had a fever at 98.1 degrees fahrenheit.

Return to the mother is the goal.

Return to the mother is the goal.

Don't need a pill, a prescription drug, a med to fix my mental health

Don't need a pill, a prescription drug, a med to fix my mental health

stay away from martian narcissists

1-2-2016
January 2, 2016 draft

definition of mind fuck

definition of mind fuck

taboo slang the deliberate infliction of psychological damage


this is what narcs* do

mindfuck
1. rude slang Something that is extremely confusing or mind-boggling.
Well, that's a total mindfuck! Can you please try explaining it again in terms the average person would understand?
That movie was a mindfuck. The one character existed in seven different time periods!
2. rude slang Something intentionally done to cause someone else emotional distress or confusion, as in an act of manipulation.
Have you heard the horrible things her husband has said to her? They're all total mindfucks, and the worst part is, she's starting to believe them.
3. vulgar slang An imagined sexual experience.
Based on the way he blushes every time he looks at you now, you've definitely starred in one of his mindfucks.
Farlex Dictionary of Idioms. © 2015 Farlex, Inc, all rights reserved.


*narcisisst
  

Feeling good is first. Looking good follows it.

Thousands and thousands of the same experiences and I finally understand.

Thousands and thousands of the same experiences
and I finally understand.



1-1-2020

Remembering myself and who I am

Remembering myself and who I am

making lists of what I like
so I do not lose myself
as a child I thought you can temporarily control my actions
you cannot control my thoughts


12-30-2019

Leave a man alone so he can get the job done.

Leave a man alone so he can get the job done.

Little things ARE the BIG things.

Little things ARE the BIG things.



1-1-2020