Sunday, January 26, 2020

I know why I am the way I am now and how I got here

I know why I am the way I am now and how I got here

a result of treatment and behavior of other people
always being watched monitored
in all of life's situations
at home, at work, in the neighborhoods I have lived in
throughout my life

attempts to control my thoughts, feelings, opinions,
preferences, things I learn on my own
learning, work, daily needs, habits, desires, wants,
emotions.

those who have fallen prey to mass media
advertising and lies
tell me to shut up
have labelled me as crazy
and do not know what I am talking about

they don't want to hear it
don't want to hear me "philosophize", analyze,
figure out anything
don't want to listen to my revelations, realizations,
observations, conclusions, analysis,dreams, goals
because my own realizations are
different and in conflict with what is pushed
on all of us from media, news, ads, slogans.

I am not famous, not well known, am not a celebrity
I am un unknown, not in the news, not considered an
important person anywhere with a reputable reputation
I am not friends with any person of "high" social status
therefore what I say is of no relevance, no importance
and has no meaning

It is an amazing and surprising thing that I have
survived, am still alive and haven't blown my
brains out or otherwise committed suicide
considering that I am operating on my own
self generated observations and
have endured constant insults, humiliations,
threats, disrespect, ridicule and general
disbelief and head shaking attitudes from
those closest to me in my family and at jobs I held in the past.

I have been laid off, fired, shunned and ignored
from many jobs I had working for someone else or
in a company or corportate environment

1-26-2020

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