2 queens cannot occupy the same domain
2 kings can't be in the same territory
fights will ensue
be they verbal, nonverbal
or physical
each wants total control over the area they deem as their own
Monday, August 30, 2021
"Physical strength is measured by what we can carry; spiritual by what we can bear." -- Author Unknown
spiritual must be one of my strengths
Friday, August 27, 2021
"Miss Woman of the World" grandma called me when I was a teenager and refused to participate in her hateful attitude and fights.
Definition of woman of the world
: a woman who has had many experiences and who is not shocked by things that may be shocking to other people
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/woman%20of%20the%20world
Monday, August 23, 2021
Birds of a feather flock together.
Abusers buddy up together to attack their victim(s)
so that
one cannot tell on the other
in their evil deeds.
John A man alone. Never married. No girlfriend. Porn addict. bdsm
John A man alone. Never married. No girlfriend. Porn addict. bdsm.
videos dvds magazines newspapers clippings
burnt movies he illegally obtained off internet
burned music he constantly copied and stole off net
age 74 born Nov. 1946. He will be dead soon in hospital or nursing home
no children no family also was an adopted child back in the 1940s
apparently February1948 adoption from pic found amongst belongings
never learned how to treat a woman
obsessed with trying to figure out sex and never did
never figured out how to have a healthy relationship
believed in slavery of women, sex slaves
had tons of books about torture bondage slavery humiliation
corporal punishment books by Eric Stanton literature instructions fetishes fetish
wooden paddles, whips, leather straps, big huge belts
spanking paddles
tons of spanking dvds he made and a bunch of vhs tapes I found in his
master bedroom which I destroyed and through away in the trash garbage
along with a bunch of books related to such torture and slavery
paddles with holes in them which i didn't know what they were I thought it
was for ping pong
bdsm obsession
we, lots of people always wondered what he did for sex and his
intimate life
the story gets deeper the more I/ we others dig thru the house finding more
stuff
Jonathan found the missing dead cat bones in the basement last week
the poor kitty named Zsa Zsa crawled underneath a clothes dresser and died
in the hoarder house packed floor to ceiling with things and trash
things: books, music, movies, magazines, clothes--mostly his for men
barbie dolls and houses (not sure what his obsession was with
dolls) he used to have a bunch of old wigs, also
we haven't made it to the attic yet
Lord God only knows what we will find up there in the attic by the roof
I filed a police report with Raytown MO and they were not interested in the bdsm
stuff, pics, newspaper articles, anything. I was in the police station that night
and they called someone on the phone and told me that his bdsm
stuff is just a "personal preference" and they can't press charges or do
anything about it.
Two female officers came to the house because of a
burglary issue I reported and did not look at all
showed zero interest in looking
inside the 2 tall file cabinets in the garage full of John's bondage stuff: whips, paddles, etc
They said only if I find any items such as pics involving children or human remains
regardless of guessed age of victim would they investigate.
I told them john had a kc metro bus pass and travelled on the bus alot
apparently going out every couple of days, who knows where. I wanted to
know if the bus company keeps a track record of stops a person makes who
has a pass. The police said they do not know if bus co. keeps track.
John has not driven his own car for many years. Has not owned a car since way
back in around 2005 or 2006 or 7,.. I cannot remember exact year he quit
driving. I used to pick him up and drive him to super flea and all over the place in
KC metro area.
Each time I asked him about why he doesn't drive he responds with
"It's too complicated" and will not give an honest direct answer as to the
reason why he could not and cannot drive and lost his driver's license in the
state of MO Missouri.
He has an expired MO id. No driver's license.
Many secrets he had. Never knew he had this fetish bdsm stuff the 20 years
I knew him. found out in May or June this year after he went to the hospital
on May 11, 2021. The paramedics took him away. He was almost dead with
sepsis severe blood poisoning due to huge gash in the bottom of his left
foot he acquired supposedly in his house downstairs in the basement by
"deli equipment" he stated, which no one ever found the equipment or
blood in the house where the injury supposedly happened. He called me
April 20 2021 and said he "bruised his foot".
I am NOT being listened to about this issue.
I am being mocked, blocked, ignored, ridiculed and minimized by people
I know and the authorities who will not even look into it at all.
I told the police I wanted them to take the file cabinets and contents
and they said they will not do it.
My father said "I don't need to look at porn I have a wife that I love". A REAL man, grown up adult male.
My father said "I don't need to look at porn I have a wife that I love". A REAL man, grown up adult male.
Thursday, August 19, 2021
Best thing I can do is smile and be happy regardless of circumstances
All people like to look at attractive people who
are truly happy and smiling, easy to get along with
Pretty girls/women and handsome boys/men are always in fashion
Stupidity stupid dumb unable to understand
can't understand
can't comprehend
doesn't get it
asks very stupid questions that never should be asked
180 PSYCHO antisocial
paranoid schizophrenic psychotic
transformer Jekyll & Hyde
two faced phony fake lying empty lost
scared whimpering coward
chameleon game changer
he/she loves me, loves me not
loves or hates no middle ground
no in between no gray areas or any other color of the rainbow
just black or white
on or off
never happy neutral peaceful joyful content
aggravated frustrated tense and he says feeling like that is exciting and
he is excited
Tuesday, August 17, 2021
Monday, August 16, 2021
Saturday, August 14, 2021
Thursday, August 12, 2021
"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong." -- Joseph Chilton Pearce
"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong."
-- Joseph Chilton Pearce
"Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event."
-- Brian Tracy
Wednesday, August 11, 2021
Tuesday, August 10, 2021
Monday, August 9, 2021
Never compare, pit yourself against another. Never do this to children. They will become screwed up adults their entire life.
Never compare, pit yourself against another. Never do this to children. They will become
screwed up adults their entire life.
Insecurity, feeling inadequate precedes comes before jealousy
Finally nailing this down
Why does he and has he and why did he or
me or anyone do such negative things and act up
in horrible destructive ways?
Saturday, August 7, 2021
Spoiling things by acting spoiled like a brat is hallmark of narcissist
since they demand immediate attention at all times
and feel like they are the only one that matters most
it is a requirement for them to
throw fits
act up
scream, yell, throw things
cuss,
kick stuff
destroy other people's stuff
get rid of others things
complain nag bitch whine about anything they don't like
and demand insist they have their own selfish way
totally lacking consideration of any other person
or life form
i guess they believe/think they are the center of the universe
and totally GOD and can do no wrong ever
at any time
or ever make a mistake (sin), do wrong
because whatever they think, do or say is absolute gospel
in their own mind not to others
they put on the angelic view to strangers, usually ones they think
they will see again and neighbors, etc
they will show their ass though to people in public they think
they will never see again
example recently he jumped out the van vehicle i was am driving
to cuss out a person in the drive thru at burger king
yelling they were in the way what the goddamn dam hell are you doing
blocking the way to get out of here to the 350/50 hwy in raytown, mo
so i sit in the van behind drivers wheel hoping praying
internally crossing my fingers in my mind the person in the car
does not respond with anger, doesn't have a gun or other weapon
and does not jump out the vehicle and punch hit grab kick or
otherwise harm him or me as I sit there
innocently like a bystander watching this crazy shit
that people think are things that only happen
in the movies
No, this is REAL life, people.
This shit happens frequently in my life living with the major narc
who seems to have zero, little or no control over his emotions
feelings at the time
God only knows what he says and does when I am not around
How to deal with infantile rage of the narcissist
Stone face
Poker face
Agree with everything they say
Never mock or mimic them. that is the worst as they cannot stand
to see themselves and will say you are being rotten when they are
"You need to change your attitude or I am gonna bust you punch you in the face"
Reality is that HE needs to change HIS attitude
and quit pushing his shitty words comments onto me
So this is what he says now many times lately to me when he is the one
pissed frustrated angry throwing fits over any little things and is being a
jack ass almost all the time
Psychological projection of the self directing its own feelings upon others
blaming me of being an ass hole bitch when I am the peacemaker
loving understanding one and avoiding his presence as he
dons that nasty sounding voice, which he says that
I AM Being nasty, that I started it, that I provoked all this crap
when was doing nothing, as an example,
last night I was wiping off the kitchen counter after doing dishes and earlier
he expressed his pissed offed ness over how my daughter in law doesn't deserve to
make that kind of money its not work she does anyway and
they the nurses hospital workers
just get on the computer wipe someone's ass ocassionally they don't really work
hard and neither them or anyone should earn that much money
so he attacked me verbally again after I came back inside the first time he
began attacking me over this issue he has
he said i started it as i wiped off the counter when i was not saying anything just
busy working on the kitchen and accused me of provoking him when he
in fact provoked himself
so i said this because you are comparing yourself to other people and you
are experiencing jealousy and he did admit that and said YES I am jealous! NO
ONE should make that kind of money. How much to you think the trash man
earns or anyone else?
I said "I don't know how much trash men make"
He said "Probably not much more than minimum wage and they work very hard"
Narc says I am supposed to be pissed off exactly like they are
"If you had half a brain you would be upset about this fact that no one
deserves to make that kind of money"
referring to an RN nurse relative of mine who recently worked 12 plus hour
shifts for more an a week and earned a substantial amount of money
and that any pro sports player, celebrity, virtually any person he finds
out that makes earns or even HAS a lot of money
does not deserve because he figures he himself deserves the money
because he works so hard and is so soooo smart and
deserving of it but no one else is
"You should be upset about this political stuff as much as I am.
What is WRONG with you?!"
narc is proud of themselves denies others are proud of you
narc is proud of themselves denies others are proud of you
"I suppose people have to say SOMETHING", he said when I told him the
nurses said it was one of my callings to be a care giver nurse
"he only said that because he is trying to be nice " when a person said to me
in front of the narc "I like your hair. It looks real good and nice"
"You don't look THAT good" said by ex Ed years ago and he is an obsessed
porn user to the max
"Your back looks terrible" said often by current to make me "realize" just how
very bad I look and that no one would want me or anyone who has such a
bad looking back YET he claims intermittently between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
phases that " I still love you even though your back is like that. I don't care how it
looks. "
Narcs do not believe others deserve nice anything or should be happy or joyful
they believe other people do not deserve anything good or to be happy because
they are not happy, they are miserable creatures that often seem like
they sprung up from the depths of hell
like a demon
devil
Before, during or after an important happy joyful event are favorite times for narcs to act up like a pure d ass hole
Before, during or after an important happy joyful event
are favorite times for narcs to act up like a pure d ass hole
they will say they deserve credit for any good or success you
have or have experienced or will have and say
if it wasn't for me, then you would not have this or that or
wouldn't have known about such and such
blow up yell
have a fit tantrum
blame cuss accuse threaten humiliate or any
other negative set of words or actions to attempt to
destroy the happiness of me or you or anyone
who desires to feel good
holidays
meal times
hobbies
wedding prep preparations
job interviews
get togethers
social events
my ex previous prior husband and current do this rotten stuff often
The
ex "ED or Eddie/Eddy as his mom calls him'
blew up threw fit when he, me and his mom were in sherri's bridals
looking at wedding dresses
I found the perfect little dress and it was supposed to be a surprise
when the groom sees the bride walking down the aisle
OH NO he demanded he had to see it so we ended up
with me having NO wedding dress due to him spoiling the
entire shopping venture
and we had NO wedding, no honeymoon, nothing to celebrate
when he knew I was going to a photo session for modelling he would throw
a demand fit of whatever he wanted at the time to get me into a bad feeling
mood so I would not be happy and smiling
eddie still does this sh**t today as his mom, sister and other family and friends
tell me they dont want him around on holidays like fathers day which I
attended on the spur of the moment at his sweet sister's house
she lisa said I am GLAD he did not come. He just acts up whenever he is around.
I am really GLAD you came Sarah. We love you (from Lisa and his mom Patty)
NARCS: Impatience impatient in almost all things wants instincts (physical needs) and with people and animals
NARCS: Impatience impatient in almost all things wants instincts (physical needs) and with people and animals
Narcissist wants it one thing or all things and anything right now
when hungry demands food immediately like an infant regardless of their age
won't wait for food the be finished cooking or entire meal to be ready
to sit down and eat at the table with anyone else..doesn't care about
politeness is rude
has to stick things in mouth snacks snacking any food in sight
sex/ right now
when calling on phone telephone line cell cellular
when talking to you me anyone
attention demanded required instantly
expects undivided attention yet will not give it to you in person
will pay total attention to the tv/media/internet maybe a magazine or book
(if they even take the time to read any book in full....ha ha lol...reading
books take way too much time and require much effort and patience in
thinking analyzing
often refused to reflect
will not look at self or listen to repetitions of what they say and do
not introspective
if you do not give in to their demands
and produce results immediately thru your words or actions
you will suffer the
rage attacks and threats humiliation
refuse to obey and be assaulted
drives car vehicle truck fast usually above the speed limit
yells at other drivers often
frustrated by other people and animals and
often says I can't understand why
and will not even attempt to understand behavior of any other living being
especially themselves
you or someone else is to blame never them
they are innocent at all times in their mind its someone else's fault
they are entitled to get whatever they want right now and
other people have to wait which is fine with them
when they perform any duty job for themselves or others they expect
others to understand all the time it takes, all of the work involved and
effort to do what they are doing yet they have zero
empathy and understanding regarding another person's job or physical
action unless, of course, they perform or have done the exact same work
Narc Rage Favorite Times are Anytime
anytime is a good time for the narcissist to go into a fit of rage
throwing temper tantrums
which often are long drawn out spanning for
hours days even weeks
Thursday, August 5, 2021
Facial expressions and eyes: looking
eyes
eyes say /show it all with feelings
pay close attention to the look on the face of anything
are they looking
staring
glaring
adoring
wondering
jealous
spiteful
happy ..truly (the corners turn way up not just the mouth)
eye smiles are wonderful
mouth only smiles are fake
Tone of voice says it all. Words are matter
Like all children I avoided any nasty sounding, irritating or irritated sounds
coming from anywhere, people especially.
The tone indicates the mood, the feeling.
Smooth and laughing sounds the best however I listen for
genuine happiness, excited and joyfulness NOT the fake, phony
ones I have heard that extend the pitch higher than necessary.
the phony nice ones talk overly super sweet only to rebound with the
nastiest horrible sounds in a split second because they were not
being real, not genuine in their tone or words
If I'm found injured or dead he did it.
The spouse husband did it. The most common murderer is the spouse just like in movies and the news stories.
Chances are very slim any stranger or anyone else I know or meet would hurt me.
Just the spouse who slammed my back into the wall tonight,
Threatened to disable my vehicle, get a divorce, demanding I change my nasty attitude when he is the nasty one. Horrible voice hateful.
Switches personalities like a light switch instantly when talking to anyone else like a neighbor,
He has faux strangled me several times over the years, pushed, shoved, knocked me down to the floor. Doubled up his fist waving it in my face threatening to punch or bust me countless times.
A lot of good this will do to write all this when I won't be around to do anything about anything.
Criminals know how to work the system be fake around authorities get by with things against the law for many years,,,some never get caught and jailed, the ones caught learn how to be better at being a criminal while incarcerated... believing they are smarter than everyone else will never get caught and everyone else is stupid.
I hear him say daily how stupid other people are, how he is not stupid and how smart and clever he is.
But reality is police won't can't do anything until there is a missing or a found dead body or body part,
If the body is still alive, intact or damaged the criminal skates along scot free.
The criminal perp dons the sweet face instantly in front of authority figures convincing them of his or her innocence and honesty as he smirks under his breath when he turns his face to evil when they are not looking at his face.
He's always looking around to see who's looking at him.
Tuesday, August 3, 2021
What Is Displacement in Psychology?
What Is Displacement in Psychology?
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-displacement-in-psychology-4587375
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EMOTIONS
What Is Displacement in Psychology?
By Kendra Cherry Medically reviewed by David Susman, PhD
on June 12, 2020
Table of Contents
Defense Mechanisms
History
Research
How It Works
Unintended Consequences
Characteristics
What You Can Do
Displacement is a psychological defense mechanism in which a person redirects a negative emotion from its original source to a less threatening recipient. A classic example of the defense is displaced aggression.1 If a person is angry but cannot direct their anger toward the source without consequences, they might "take out" their anger on a person or thing that poses less of a risk.
Woman displacing anger at her partner
laflor / Getty Images
Defense Mechanisms
When people have negative emotions or impulses, they often look for ways to cope with these unwanted feelings. Unlike the conscious coping strategies that we use to manage daily stress, defense mechanisms operate on an entirely unconscious level.2
Displacement, like many other psychological defense mechanisms, often occurs subconsciously—the person is not aware they are doing it.
Defense mechanisms are one way the mind unconsciously attempts to reduce our anxiety and restore emotional balance.3 Psychological defenses operate without our conscious awareness to help us cope with threatening people, things, or environments. We might not be aware of these feelings and urges, but they still influence our behavior and can cause anxiety.
When we use displacement, our mind senses that reacting to the original source of our frustration might be unacceptable—even dangerous. Instead, it finds us a less threatening subject that can serve as a safer outlet for our negative feelings.4
Sublimation
Sigmund Freud believed that a certain subtype of displacement called sublimation served as an important source of creativity and inspiration.5 Sublimation involves displacing unacceptable sexual urges toward non-sexual activities that are productive and socially acceptable, like work and creativity. Sublimating provides a constructive outlet for unacceptable urges.6
History
Sigmund Freud's daughter Anna Freud was one of the first psychologists to make a list of defense mechanisms. However, displacement was not on the list of original defense mechanisms included in her book, "The Ego and the Mechanisms of Defense" (originally published in Germany in 1936).7
Anna Freud later stated that although her list outlined several prominent defenses, she believed that it was far from definitive. Subsequent pioneers in psychology did identify displacement as being an important ego defense mechanism.8
20 Common Defense Mechanisms in Psychology
Research
Research on the validity of displacement has been mixed. For example, a study from 1998 suggested that displacement is poorly supported by empirical evidence.9 However, later research in 2015 supported the theory that physical and emotional arousal states tend to carry over from one situation to the next.10
For example, while you might restrain yourself in a social setting because reacting would be inappropriate, pushing your feelings down won't make them go away. Your emotional state will stay the same. Later on, you might find yourself in a setting where you can react with fewer consequences, at which time you will unleash the feelings you suppressed.
Other studies have also offered broad support for defense mechanisms, including displacement, as being important to human health and relationships. Looking at data from a 70-year longitudinal study, a group of researchers found that psychological defense mechanisms might influence the body as well as the mind.
In their paper, which was published in 2013, the researchers stated that the subjects in their study who used adaptive defense mechanisms (including displacement) at mid-life had better physical health later in life. The researchers suggested that mature defenses play a key role in creating solid and supportive social relationships, which contribute to improved physical health.11
How It Works
Imagine that you were reprimanded by your manager at work. Venting your anger or frustration directly to your boss would not only be unwise, but it might even cost you your job. Instead, you withhold (or suppress) your emotions until the end of the day.
As soon as you get home, you may unleash your anger on your unsuspecting roommate or find yourself overreacting to a triggering event like your children misbehaving. More often than not, the triggering event is relatively insignificant. It's your reaction that is out of proportion—even over the top.
The anger you were feeling at your boss is eventually released but in an indirect way. The consequences of yelling at your roommate or scolding your children are likely to be less severe than if you had taken out your frustration at your boss or coworkers. The object or person that becomes the subject of displaced feelings can vary but is usually chosen because it is less threatening (or even powerless).
If you have ever taken out negative feelings on a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger when you were upset about something else, then you have used displacement as a defense mechanism (even if you weren't aware of it).
Examples of Displacement
Here are a few imagined scenarios (many of which might sound or feel familiar to you) that exemplify displacement:
An employee is berated by their boss for their poor performance during a presentation. The employee leaves work to have lunch at a local restaurant where they yell at the wait staff over a small mistake with their order.
You are frustrated with your spouse because they have not been helping you with household chores. When you ask your kids to start their chores, and they respond by whining, your anger explodes. You yell at them and accuse them of never helping around the house.
A person is attracted to their spouse's best friend, but they know that acting on it would have catastrophic consequences. Instead, the desire they feel is unconsciously displaced, and they develop a sexual fetish for glasses similar to the ones worn by the spouse's best friend.
You lose your job and have a hard time finding a new one. Fearing that you won't be able to pay your bills, you start taking your frustration and feelings of failure out on immigrants in your community, blaming them for your inability to find employment.
Unintended Consequences
Displacement can cause an unintended chain reaction. Displaced aggression, for example, can become a cycle. For example, imagine an employee who is angry with their boss. They take out their anger on their spouse when they get home. Now angry themselves, the spouse might be irritable with their children. In turn, the kids might take their frustrations out on each other.
Displaced interpersonal aggression can also lead to prejudice against specific social groups. For example, some scholars have argued that the animosity Germans felt toward the Jewish people following World War I may have been an example of displaced feelings of anger over the economic ramifications of the war.12
Rather than directing their collective anger toward their own actions or their own government, people redirected their rage toward a group of people they deemed to be less threatening targets. This phenomenon is also known as scapegoating.13
Characteristics
Defense mechanisms are very common and are usually a normal aspect of daily functioning. Displacement as a defense helps us channel emotions and urges that could be considered inappropriate or harmful to more healthy, safe, or productive outlets.
When used appropriately, defenses such as displacement protect us from negative feelings, help minimize disappointment, protect our self-esteem, and manage stress levels.14 Displacement can protect us from anxiety by hiding things that are stressful or unacceptable to us and helping to preserve our sense of self.
But defense mechanisms like displacement can also be unhelpful if people rely on them too heavily, or when they lead to problematic behaviors and interactions with others. Overuse of these mechanisms has been linked to psychological distress and poor functioning.
Displacement serves as a way to redirect feelings, but it also has the potential to cause harm. There are several factors that influence how and when displacement occurs.
Age
Young children are more direct about expressing their feelings. Therefore, they are more likely to express their negative emotions toward the original target (regardless of the appropriateness of the response).
For example, a 4-year-old child is likely to simply yell at a parent when they are upset. On the other hand, a 14-year-old might displace their frustration with a parent by fighting with a younger sibling.
Intensity
Highly upsetting urges or feelings might result in greater displays of emotion toward the substitute target. For example, an inappropriate urge (such as the desire to hit someone) might be expressed as a highly charged emotional outburst (such as yelling at a spouse).
Frequency
Most people have experienced taking out their negative emotions on a secondary target. While displacement can be a normal response, but it can cross the line into maladaptive or even abusive behavior. If a person relies on displacement as a defense mechanism to deal with all of their emotional upset, it is less likely to be unhelpful and may cause harm.15
What You Can Do
Overreliance on displacement or any other defense mechanism can be problematic, or at the very least, unhelpful. If you are concerned about your use of displacement as a defense mechanism, it's something you can address with a therapist or counselor as part of psychotherapy. Here are some ways you can look at your own behavior to get a better sense of whether you use displacement in a helpful way.
Assess
One of the first steps is also one of the more difficult: observing your behavior and actions and determining whether displacement could be causing them. Displacement is not something that can be easily viewed. Often, it's only possible to make inferences based on what you can examine of your own behavior.
At this stage, it can be helpful to work with a therapist. They can look at your behavior from an "outside" point of view and help you see things from a more objective perspective.
A therapist is able to witness (and point out) contradictions between your behavior and your words, body language, or other signals.16
For example, you might tell your therapist that you do not mind that your spouse works late nights and weekends, but your body language and your speech might suggest otherwise. As you share more about your behavior, it might become clear that when you are short-tempered with your kids in the evening, it's really a sign of the frustration you feel with your spouse.
Why Accepting Your Emotions Is Good for Your Health
Reflect
Reflection is a strategy therapists can use to help you recognize when you are using defense mechanisms like displacement. With this strategy, your therapist reflects your feelings back to you in a way that encourages you to consider what you have done or said.
The goal of using the reflection technique is to reveal concealed worries or concerns that played a role in your behavior.
For example, as you are telling your therapist about expressing anger at a coworker, you might reveal one of your underlying worries—that your new manager does not recognize your talents and efforts. Rather than expressing your emotions to your boss (a threatening target), you took your frustration out on your coworker (a less threatening target).
Reframe
Once you start to recognize episodes of unhealthy displacement in your own life, the next step is to look for purposeful ways to alter your thinking and behavior. For example, if you are yelling at your spouse because you are displacing your frustrations from work, stop, step back, and take a moment to regain control.
When you find yourself engaging in maladaptive behaviors caused by displacement, try to reframe the situation and find a healthier outlet for your feelings.
Make a conscious effort to redirect your negative feelings toward an appropriate target. Alternative outlets could include writing about a situation and how you felt, participating in a sport or physical exercise, or engaging in a productive hobby.
Tips for Managing Conflict, Tension, and Anger
A Word From Verywell
Like other psychological mechanisms of defense, displacement can be a normal and healthy way of coping with unconscious negative emotions. However, overly relying on displacement as a way to handle negative feelings can be unhelpful and even destructive—particularly if you take your frustrations out on defenseless people around you.
It can be hard to recognize our own displacement, if you are concerned about how you use this defense mechanism, therapy can help you see when your actions, words, or behaviors are really a defense mechanism. Once you learn to recognize displacement, you can take steps to challenge the defense mechanism and find more effective ways to cope.
Ways to Deal With Negative Emotions
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Displaced feelings: Displacement to more acceptable emotion/feeling others can see
displacement of feelings is common and
method taught to us by others when we are young babies
and children
get angry and mad instead of crying
I cry when sad. He becomes angry instead of crying.
I cry.
He yells, finds something to get mad about
instead of expressing sadness remorse from feelings of loss or
discomfort thru tears.
instead of expressing sadness remorse from feelings of loss or
discomfort thru tears.
anger often seems to be the acceptable emotion to be displayed
by some males
which is directly due to the style of upbringing in the family
Monday, August 2, 2021
Narc tests actions attitudes behaviors.. I am always in the wrong. Unethical human beings
Little things not appreciated in life or nature
Expects instant results. Anger shows its face when things don't go as they want.
I will be wrong regardless of what I say or do
I will not be correct about much of anything
I will never be good enough
I will never be pretty enough
I will constantly be saying or doing the wrong thing
They will change the/their rules according to their mood so that
they will always appear to be right and on top at all times
I will never please them. They can't be happy or pleased for very long
about much of anything.
I will not be beautiful if at all for very long. Once their mood wears off
they will view me as the ugly one and the cause of all of their
dissatisfaction, unhappiness, misery, anger, temper tantrums,
"provocations" (they say I do things to provoke their bad behavior
which actually exists within them and has nothing to do with me)
It is always my fault if anything "bad" happens at any time
I am told I am a magnet for trouble
I am told I am not pleasant to be around as I am actually the peace maker
and it is repeated to me more and more after their tantrum fits are thrown
I am to blame, blamed for what I did not do. They are never to blame
I am supposed to feel guilty about things I never did. They are not guilty at any time
I am to be in shame, ashamed
I am told I should have known better regarding any situation as if I
can predict the future and know exactly what anyone else is going to do,
what other people's motives are and know in advance before any event
occurs that it is going to happen as it does
I am, have been and will continue to be accused of the very things they are
thinking and doing and have thought about or actually done
I am asked questions interrogated about each and every thing I say, think,
do, feel, plan, and about any movement of my body
I am pushed beyond my limit of anything and pushed even harder when I
am tired, weak, ill, sick, not feeling well, unable to do something
I am told I don't want to do things that I am unable to do
I am told I am stupid, lazy, worthless
I hear about how stupid others are and how some people don't deserve to
even eat food they are so worthless and don't amount to anything and don't
deserve to have a thing or to live
I hear narcissist deny/denial of things they say and do and hear
their reasoning which they say is logic/logical for why they did do
what they did --IF they even admit to any type of wrongdoing.
Most of the time they will justify any thing they admit to doing and
deny having done any wrong action
They do not understand the basic laws of man, nature, the government,
the police, justice, society, the world and often believe they can say and do
exactly what they want without regard or remorse or any fashion
Boundaries do not exist for other people, animals, property, items or anything else
for they believe they can create, destroy, smash, take, steal, bash..do whatever
they feel like doing at the moment with no consequences to be faced
AND
I am told that if they did something such as smash someone's face in then
they will be in court explaining to the judge and jury
why they did this thing to this
person who provoked them and therefore they had the full right to do
this damage to this person or their property because the other one
"made them"/ caused them /forced them to do it
If a tear or tears or crying takes place it is usually fake phone false
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