Sunday, October 31, 2021
Humility Lessons Facts
All material things are temporary and wll be taken away
My existence is temporary in this body
All organic life is temporarily alive
Other people exist: I am NOT exclusive to anyone
I am not special, unique or important to most people
Males desire to mate with almost any being (female, male or inanimate)
Sex is the only thing any male has needed/wanted from me
Materialism results in negative and destructive behavior in humans
Quantity is more important than quality with some human males
(The more women, men, people or any entity
they can have sex with, the better.
They are not nearly as picky as I am
when choosing or getting a sex partner/object.
They just want a hole to insert their penis in.
They want to stick their dick in as many holes as possible.
It is a victory for them; a badge to wear; something to be proud of
and brag about if they tend to be egotistical braggarts.)
Friday, October 29, 2021
LIES for me. Things that are NOT TRUE for me personally
LIES for me. Things that are NOT TRUE for me personally
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day
Men, concerning the ones I know and have known
He, a man, any man, loves me for my mind
He cares about my feelings
(HE being the husband, the boyfriend, the friend, the associate, the
co worker, the boss, the man in charge, the employee, the neighbor,
the family member ...)
He cares about what I think
He cares about what I want
He desires only me: I am the only woman he wants.. to have sex with
He cares about my future
He cares about my current situation
He cares about people I care about and love
He likes what I like
He loves me for myself
He loves what I love
He does things with me that he personally doesn't like to do
He in interested in my well being
He respects me
He respects my intelligence
He listens to what I say
He thinks I am smart
He thinks I am capable
He respects other people's intelligence, feelings, differences, desires
Thursday, October 28, 2021
Tuesday, October 26, 2021
I am consciously aware of what I eat and drink: 125 lbs Five feet six. Slim and trim.
the gut drives it
and I eat and drink what I need
without listening to any outside interference
Respect: a thing females teach.
to respect or not?
disrespect the child is teaching them to disrespect themselves and all others
respect the child, teach them to respect themselves and all things
Boondocks boy remains one throughout his life. Upbringing is everything.
You can take a person out of the boondocks but you
can't take the boondocks out of them.
Upbringing is everything.
Grandma said "I don't need a man"
I believe she meant "I don't need a man who acts like an immature boy ass hole"
Go to the pros for answers. Accurate information. Why go to the pros for answers and accurate information?
Why go to the pros for answers and accurate information?
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
why do people waste their time asking other people's opinions
about what they think, what to do
why do people second guess anything
why do we assume... make "ass u mations"
why not instead of go straight to the source, the horse's mouth,
the professionals who are masters at what they do
why do we not read the instructions instead of pretending we know
something when we don't have a clue
why are human beings sometimes such fools, asses, idiots, morons
and so stinking stupid
Monday, October 25, 2021
All about John
pushes everything to and beyond its limit
never satisfied
overdoes it all
excess: eating food, collecting
hoarder to level 4 of hoarding disorder
paranoid personality disorder
used to overeat daily : eating an entire whole cake or pie in one evening
almost everyday was his norm
is type 2 insulin injected diabetic nowadays as a result of massive
overcomsumption of sweets sugar candy and artficially sweetened
foods and drinks: sucralose, aspartame, splenda, equal,
has to have soda (diet pop) with meal
insists on dessert after eating a meal lunch dinner
flavored coffee artifically of course is one of his favorite drinks
tea
has temper tantrums fits when he doesn't get his way
conceals, hides information about his theft thieving
deceitful activities
won't tell anyone why he can't drive a vehicle for over 15 years now
believes he can do whatever he wants with his computer
including violating laws rules internet safety regulations
used and will get on the things he calls pirate bay to steal stuff on the net
grabbing illegal d/ls downloads of movies music or whatever else
does not clean up anything
if it hits the floor it stays there
lies, cheats
feigns niceness acts sweet and polite prior to demanding begging to
to try to get what he wants
march 2022 said "i have committed perjury (in court) before and I'll do it again"
smugly. threatened to call the police and allege/say i did wrongful things to get
me in trouble because he is demanding
access to what little money he had in bank so he can buy more things he can't have in his room
he is in long term nursing care facility indefinitely and doesn't believe the facility is due
all of his retirement income except 50 dollars. he thinks he can get access to account and
beging buying all kinds of things on the internet amazon or anywhere
and wants his burned up broken screen laptop so he can "buy a new screen" for it
and put it back together which is impossible due to his hands shaking uncontrollably
is bedridden wearing diaper and full catheter / can't get up out of bed
bdsm believes in master slave slavery
political science major
can talk up a storm and very intelligent/intelligently
smart persuasive
says "yotta yotta yada " as a filler in sentences often
loves sweets and breads
big mommas cinnamon rolls with lots of icing is one favorite
rye bread is a fav. he had a 25 lb bag of flour in the kitchen he'd bought off of amazon right before i/we began cleaning out his hoarder house
minimizes the amount of time it takes to do anything such as cleaning up his living room or any area at his old house. he claims he could have cleaned up the living room or dining room in 30 minutes and in reality it would take hours and hours to do this due to the huge amount of stuff stacked all the way up to the ceiling in almost every room of the house ( a 3 bedroom 3 bath ranch style house with full basement and large patio in the back)
never sold online with ebay or any other venue . it takes too much time to do this along with
effort organization planning cleaning preparedness
he wants almost everything immediately and that is what he says "I want this NOW,. I want it in my hand now, I want it immediately!!"
impatient. greedy, gluttony gluttonous. sloth/slothful. angry holds onto anger for long periods of time yet states he blows up and is over it in 15 seconds
in state of denial about many things
Sunday, October 24, 2021
I pay attention to myself first. Self awareness
Aware
Awareness
Feeling
Senses
Intuitive
Guts
Inner direction
Flowing
Flexibility
Saturday, October 23, 2021
Micro managers lack understanding
Micro managers lack understanding
question each word and activity of others
say "I don't/can't understand" frequently
repeat themselves constantly like a parrot hammer
treat others like they don't understand
intently watch observe others people and not themselves
are forever frustrated, aggravated, upset, angry, negative,
doubtful, skeptical
treat others like idiots
don't give credit to people
take credit for "good" and beneficial things
blame others for "bad" and negative things
believe people are "bad" instead of saying the action/activity is
bad mistaken or incorrect
are scared to death of imperfection, of making a mistake, of
being wrong about anything
don't admit it when they are wrong
adhere to false beliefs
lack appreciation, respect and admiration
have extremely fragile egos
say "I doubt it' often
ignore blessings, miracles, good things most of the time
focus on lack
ignore abundance
undermine efforts, abilities and capabilities of others
say "I am NOT STUPID"
take over things others can easily do themselves
rob people and animals of freedom of spirit, ideas, movement
are weak, frightened and shaky
constantly afraid of losing
cannot take any type of criticism or observation exposing their
lack of knowing
criticize, humiliate, condemn often
bully anyone or anything or animal they can
believe/think they are the only one who can do anything the
right way
don't trust others
have no or little confidence in the work or ability of others
Thursday, October 21, 2021
I am what I say I am not: True of some people
saying "I am NOT STUPID !"
usually means you are, I am (stupid)
An ignorant person treats me like shit. They value money & status more than source energy: GOD
An ignorant person treats me like shit. They value money & status more than source energy: GOD
She didn't know what she is: Beautiful Ethical Patient
she didn't know what she has
what she is
beautiful
ethical
patient
deserving
she didn't know she didn't have to put up with
disrespectful a holes
she doesn't have to please anyone
unless she wants to
she does what she loves to do
and avoids all people and things
that are not complimentary
and nice and agreeable
I want this and I want that. I want you to do this and get this for me................all I seem to hear from people.
The buck stops here
I turn off the phone
and am not putting up with this anymore
Wednesday, October 20, 2021
Blocking out phone number of big bully john today .. saving my sanity and my life.
All he says continually is
I want this,I want that. It's my money, my stuff.
It's mine. You don't know what's going on. You are on power trip.
You don't know what you're talking about.
I don't believe it. I doubt it.
I appreciate all you've done for me, thank you for saving my life ..
I want more and more stuff up here in my room.
Magazines, spoon, cups, clothes, music player, headphones,
Broken laptop, 40 dollar computer from Walmart so I can listen to worldwide radio,
Big mommas cinnamon rolls
Stapler staples tape, scissors, laxative, antidirrheal medicine,
Pens, sharpie, folders, paper, tax forms, ss earnings
Statement, dd214
Lone Wolf ranger: John said I typically act like.
The Lone Wolf Ranger
Hah! I am a CAT not a dog
a wolf is a dog
not me
Alone in all of this.
Realizing what I've been dealing with all of my life
Bullies
Abusers.
At work, at home.
There is no such thing as fixing someone
Or love will make a bully loving or love you or anyone.
Wont happen. Reality
They don't change won't and don't want to.
Police officer said at some point you have to decide who is more important..you orhim. Easy question to answer he said.
I was silent at this question, hesitating to answer. And I didn't answer.
Ex parte, he said, 2 weeks, then order of protection
Monday, October 18, 2021
"Men will hit on anything" said by my friend Sharon way back in 2013 and 2014
so i can't take it personally at all because the guy man boy
or whoever or whatever will
hit on literally any thing regardless of how it she he looks acts ?
yes or no.. of course it is true
so is it also true that "women will hit on anything"? i wonder about this
depends on the guy the man and where he stands feels at the moment
given enough time without having sex he will hit on it
whatever it happens to be here or there anywhere
lying around or standing there
or moving or not
age does not matter, background or anything nothing matters period
except for the current condition of horniness the person is experiencing
some guy said to me well it depends on how long its been since you've had sex
as to whether or not i will or you should take advantage of it/her/him whatever
and he
justified his decision to do it according to how long it has been since
the biological act as happened
and it has nothing to do with whether or
not he or she is with a woman or man already
or is married or not ..has not a damned thing to
do with how much how often or how good the sex is with his wife or gf girlfriend
or any friend male or otherwise regardless of the status of the sex of the person or
thing
if you or anyone anybody anything happens to be in the line of fire
of desire at the moment when the need needs to be met
you will be approached by this one or that individual or even a group of them
to have sex whether you are willing
or not willing, want to or not want to
so i suppose it does not matter
no one is left out
any and everyone is a target at anytime anywhere
is it happenstance if that is even a word??
Artists and authors know basics about life. Create works and stories with same primary themes and morals.
creators know the basic and primary meanings
art is from truth simplicity
knowing knowledge instinct all creatures are born with this intuitive intuition
tubes snakes tunnels round shapes oval ellipse elliptical
balance: both sides look the same of the circle, ellipse,
while still
or when spinning
around and round
ROUND SHAPES RULE
butt but ass breast
rear rearend rearends
butt butts
ass
glutes gluteus maximus
mouth lips (purse the lips to make oval shape)
ellipse
elliptical
eyes
ear ears
nose nasal passage
esophagus
openings in body for food intake and out take
in and out : breathing, eating, procreation, birth, birth canal
Thursday, October 14, 2021
Monday, October 11, 2021
Caregivers are kind people with lots of patience
more kind than non care givers
although each person has kindness in them in different amounts and ways
Saturday, October 9, 2021
Guard your feelings, thoughts, places you go, people you befriend
You are what you feel
You will become just like those you are closest to
Stay in a place long enough and you will
most likely adapt to the environment, be it pleasant or hell
Identifying self with possessions and money equals The Devil
equating self worth as being worthy only gauged by the amount of money and
possessions owned equals the devil, a figure of speech term that indicates the
nature of the spirit/self
this attitude causes the individual to be
controlling
mean selfish hateful
arrogant
foolish
bully bullying
better than you /thou attitude treatment of other people
calling others worthless
labelling other life forms (any type) immediately as being
useful or useless according to what the person thinks they can get out of them
simply put, the person worshipping the idol/end product is the
epitome of the total ass hole
that no one wants to be around
watchers control freak conversations with john and others i know
some are watchers most of the time
whine whiners complainers minimizers
control freaks believing in master slave slavery domination of other people
and at the same time lacking self control and self awareness
and inner peace
lose their temper quick
impatient want it all right now
demanding unhappy confused
talks nice briefly then turns nasty right away when
i will not give in to demands immediately then says
i am not cooperating, i think i am all powerful, on a power trip,
know it all
says why won't you do what i say
he is the one on the power trip in his fantasy world mind thinking he is
controlling it all
i said you are not going to bully me which of course he denied trying to do
they don't admit what they are saying and doing and their goals
he threatened me last night .. said i better give him these things or he will
revoke dpoa durable power of attorney which he demanded in july that i get done
by a lawyer that costs him 1500 dollars
conversations with john
i said you can do all kinds of things
like meditate
he said i don't meditate
i said i know
he wants to be entertained by watching
listening other people and things via tv television internet radio
must have constant outside noises sounds moving pictures magazines reading articles
he is never or rarely happy being still
in awareness of himself the self
thinks he has to be stimulated/over
stimulated at all times with all these outer things going on
is he scared, afraid of looking within and being peaceful and joyful from the inside out
i told him i'd be happy looking or staring at a bug on the wall
he laughed
because that would never be enough to satisfy him
at end of 2 hours conversation on my cell phone when he called from nursing facility
in independence missouri last night
i said john go ahead and say and do whatever you want
it is up to you i have no control over you
he thought his threats anger yelling were going to get him what he wants and it is not
his behavior is atrocious and abominable and the more he pushes
the less he gets
he said
i am not stupid !! (same thing i hear from husband !!)
john is unable to stand up
has to have at least 2 nurses get him up into wheelchair from his bed
in nursing care home facility skilled care long term
he is demanding obsessed with money and material things
he's obsessed with s&m bdsm believes in this master/slave stuff regarding
life and sex
in reality he is the slave
know and discover these facts of life
Jim and Lena at the park in Raytown, MO 3 years ago disappeared May 2018
haven't seen them since
thinking maybe it is future reflection of the past for me lessons taught and learned
Jim 70 gemini former long distance runner. Drove blue car.
16 times minimum walked very fast, fast as he could around the park
C Lee Kenagy
Lena 89 capricorn teacher spanish still working at schools
teaching language
walked at park after coming from grandview communiy center
swimming.
Shorter than me. Looked much younger maybe 50-55
Fair complexion, light blonde brownish hair
my grandson was 4 years old at the time riding his first bike, a balance bicycle
Pretty in rags. Why are beautiful females girls women dressed in drab clothes
fairy tales
movies
stories
in real life
plain ordinary attire is typical and common in the most beautiful
attractive girls
they wear sparse or no jewelry or adornments.. they don't need it to be pretty
cinderella
ugly step sisters can't ever be as beautiful as Cinderella
no matter what clothes they wear
because they act ugly and are nasty and rotten on the inside
beautiful wardrobes will never make the ugly girls beautiful
Thursday, October 7, 2021
7 Cleaning Habits That Attract Mice
7 Cleaning Habits That Attract Mice
https://bestlifeonline.com/news-attracting-mice/
1. You store food in plastic bags.
2. You don't vacuum frequently
3. You leave dishes soaking in the sink
4. You leave your laundry in piles before putting it away.
5. You use cardboard boxes to organize your basement.
6. You leave pet food out overnight.
7. You don't take out the trash frequently enough.
Clean house. Be like a hospital, school, business, restaurant, motel/hotel
Nothing left on the floor
Hang up clothes and anything and everything else
Trash cans with lids
Clean out garbage/trash cans with disinfectant, soap, bleach
before replacing bags/liners
Daily cleaning of all surfaces and floors
70% isopropyl alcohol and water
Bleach water
Plastic containers with lids
No cardboard boxes
No carpet
Tiled floors
Ergonomics
Practicality
Wednesday, October 6, 2021
Grandma, come and play with me!
this is the best thing in the world to do for all of us!!
play!
have fun
enjoy
stinky breath from foot in mouth disease. keep your feet out of your mouth.
stinky breath from foot in mouth disease. keep your feet out of your mouth.
10 Paradoxes That Are True
10 Paradoxes That Are True
1. The more you hate a trait in someone else, the more likely you are avoiding it in yourself.
The woman who's insecure about her weight will call everyone else fat. The man who’s insecure about his money will criticize others for theirs.
2. People who can’t trust, can’t be trusted.
Call it the Good Will Hunting syndrome, but one way people protect themselves from getting hurt is by hurting others first.
3. The more you try to impress people, the less impressed they’ll be.
Nobody likes a try-hard.
4. The more you fail, the more likely you are to succeed.
Edison tried over 10,000 prototypes before getting the lightbulb right. Michael Jordan got cut from his high school team. Success comes from improvement and improvement comes from failure. There’s no shortcut around it.
5. The more something scares you, the more you should probably do it.
Our fight-or-flight response kicks in when we’re confronted with past traumas or actualizing the self we dream of being. For instance: speaking to an attractive person, cold-calling someone to get a new job, starting a business, being painfully honest with somebody, etc., etc.
(This is all, of course, with the exception of genuinely life-threatening or physically harmful activities. Like, don't confront bears.)
6. The more afraid you are of death, the less you’ll be able to enjoy life.
Or as one of my favorite quotes puts it, “Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
7. The more you learn, the more you realize how little you know.
The old Socrates adage. Every time you gain a greater understanding, it creates even more questions than it answers.
8. The less you care about others, the less you care about yourself.
I know this may go against every perception you’ve ever had of a self-serving asshole, but people treat people the way they treat themselves. It may not be apparent on the outside, but people who are cruel to the people around them are cruel to themselves.
9. The more connected we get, the more isolated we feel.
Despite being in more constant communication than ever, research finds an increase in loneliness and depression in the developed world over the past few decades.
10. The more you’re afraid to fail, the more likely you are to fail.
See: self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dependent people need others to get what they want. Independent people can get what they want through their own efforts. Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success. Stephen Covey
Dependent people need others to get what they want. Independent people can get what they want through their own efforts. Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success. Stephen Covey
Tuesday, October 5, 2021
Slideshow: A Visual Guide to Schizophrenia
Slideshow: A Visual Guide to Schizophrenia
https://www.webmd.com/schizophrenia/ss/slideshow-schizophrenia-overview
if you say you're not crazy you probably are crazy
those who say there is nothing wrong with me
it is everybody else who's nuts
are the ones who are bat shit crazy and don't know it
big mistake lots of men make: don't tell her she is pretty or she will get a big head ego
men when you do this you are on the fast and
sure path to losing the woman you are with
there are countless men out there that know the score and
will snatch up your woman in a heartbeat
simply by being appreciative /appreciating her
while you mistreat abuse her ignore her
deny her simple things like politeness and affection
and be rude mean nasty impolite inconsiderate (a total JERK)
Sunday, October 3, 2021
All of them, he said
4 teen girls walk into the gas station I was in 2 days ago.
I go outside. They leave. I go back in the store. Ask 28 year old male attendant clerk which girl he liked. He said all of them he would take given the chance opportunity!
Truth spoken . Universal reality.
Friday, October 1, 2021
man has all the money and land in the world and all he wants is sex with any pretty female
female females girls women desired
the younger the better but any age will do
attractive healthy looking active bodies.. of course
agile
beautiful
variety is his spice
he ends up ignoring and abusing the woman he has and seeks out sex
with as many possible girls or woman as he can
the "wifey" "old lady" is no longer attractive
he is constantly aware and looking around hunting for more and more
and more
he is never satisfied, does not appreciate who or what he has
he is always out to impress new females, a different crop of women he wants to f**((
he cares not about what his wife/girlfriend wants, thinks or feels
he only cares about what he wants now at the moment
I cry I laugh
I cry at a loss
I cry because I know its over
in my soul I know
its over I've had enough of someone else's pain and misery and abuse towards me
because they are miserable and angry and hateful
I cry at a gain
birth of a baby
wedding
parties
I cry from happiness and joy
I laugh out loud for no apparent reason
something inside me, a memory or current realization
strikes me as so funny I have to laugh
and I cry from sadness lost joy and the death
of familiar people and things and experiences
I want to have unending happiness
I desire love understanding peace
allowing
acceptance
i cry from knowing
from understanding
from realizing
fully from the core of each atom in my
body
i cry from others pain misery misfortune they do not know why they suffer