Saturday, December 24, 2022

Queen Bee and Banty Rooster

 my mom used to talk about some women she knew who were acting like the Queen Bee


her mom, my grandma would talk about some men she knew who acted like little banty roosters

What is a banty rooster? - Thank Chickens

https://thankchickens.com/what-is-a-banty-rooster

The definition of a banty rooster is a smaller, more aggressive rooster. An example of a banty rooster is one used in fights. How can you tell a rooster from a hen or a banty? Check the size of the comb and wattles. Roosters have larger combs and wattles than females. Compare the sizes. Male bantam chickens are larger than females.

Who isn't self absorbed?

Some say I make excuses for and defend others because of my ability to understand

A toad remains a toad. It never turns into a prince

Friday, December 23, 2022

 https://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-surefire-signs-you-grew-up-with-an-emotionally-immature-parent/

Thinking people can change when they want, wrong

Allowing myself to unknowingly be manipulated by users criminals narcissists

Thinking looks dont matter..wrong furthest from truth

Believing another person cares about me (wrong)

Believing a person will love me back because i love, totally wrong

Believing others think and feel like me; nice, empathic, ethical, loving, caring

Failing to see true nature of a person for many years

Being, working, loving, liking wrong fit people

Cleaning up after pigs, those who dont care, dont want to be clean



Giving my love to those who dont love, dont want it, dont care, dont deserve. Story of

Wasting my words and breath on dead ears, story of my life

I am going to do it all..and I get nothing done. Story, motto of my life.

Brain damage incidents. Permanent, lifelong

 Fractured skull : hit right side of head fell off bicycle landed on concrete curb age 6 

16 years old. Kicked in head by adult human male. I was sitting on floor, he wss standing up. Drop kicked front temple knocked me unconscious. 


Cruelest creature of all: Human being

If i can do it so can you: A common lie

Thursday, December 22, 2022

Wednesday, December 21, 2022

I'd rather stay warm living in the right temperature

 Instead of fighting to keep warm or cool living in radical climate

I can't keep moving in order to stay warm below 70 degrees Fahrenheit

Clothes are ridiculous


Keeping up with myself is a miracle in and of itself

 I fail to keep up with 

the joneses

the news

entertainment industry

politics

the world

 



https://psychcentral.com/adhd/why-are-people-with-adhd-always-late#improving-timeliness

And one day my grandson will despise and hate me

 As he is being trained in bootcamp now


Came across mothers day cards from long ago when my son was a child and loved me then

A week ago Saturday I found a folder saved from the 1980s and 1990s

I love you homemade card with red glitter on Elmer's school glue
And a big nice store bought mother's day card
From long ago from my youngest son back in the days when he loved me
The way his son my 8 year old grandson loves me


Some say and do the cruelest things then pretend they didn't. Amnesia happens feigned fake

Not getting better

Severe burning back pain today excruciating worse again

Friday, December 16, 2022

I need you to ........

 That's about all I hear from people


I need you to : fill in the blank and that's it. Don't say anything at all and don't do anything you want or need to do ONLY SAY AND DO WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO.




The money I don't spend. Things I don't buy, don't need or want.

Sunday, December 11, 2022

Wednesday, November 30, 2022

Proverbs 13:3

 Proverbs 13:3, NIV: Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin. Proverbs 13:3, ESV: Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. Proverbs 13:3, KJV: He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.

Proverbs 13:3, NIV: Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin.


Proverbs 13:3, ESV: Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.


Proverbs 13:3, KJV: He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.


Proverbs 13:3, NASB: One who guards his mouth protects his life; One who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.


Proverbs 13:3, NLT: Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.


Proverbs 13:3, CSB: The one who guards his mouth protects his life; the one who opens his lips invites his own ruin.


What does Proverbs 13:3 mean? [⇑ See verse text ⇑]

Few things are more difficult, yet more important, than learning how to control one's words. Doing so can keep a person out of trouble and may even save his life. This is a repeated lesson of the book of Proverbs (Proverbs 10:8, 14; 12:18).


Those who threaten or revile other people open themselves to revenge and backlash. In modern English, a common description for those who talk too much is that they have "loose lips." That echoes the imagery given here by Solomon. The person who speaks without thinking, or without control, may make rash promises that he does not keep. He may insult others or lie or tell secrets or offer unsound advice. He may gossip or criticize others unjustly. His careless, harsh language will rebound to harm him.


Another English phrase related to these sentiments is a person who must "eat his words." This applies when someone's statements have come back to accuse him or condemn him. Knowing this is possible is yet another reason to be sure that any words we speak are "edible," so to speak (Proverbs 12:2). It is wise to pray as David did: "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer" (Psalm 19:14).


https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2013:3&version=NIV

Leader is self propelled

I Clean

Tuesday, November 29, 2022

Do phonies like fake food. The shiny gold flashy and mass media influences .??

 Do they not like real natural people and simple ordinary things

Are they sucked into the void : Vacuum world of empty advertisements 

Did they lose childhood innocence 

Confused about needs versus wants


 https://www.yourdictionary.com/highfalutin

Tuesday, November 22, 2022

Saturday, November 19, 2022

bright colors mom wore, mother my

 bright colors mom wore

purple

orange red

sewing things clothes pillowcases

art work

drawing, artist she drew faces extremely well

crafts

painting

had beautiful hand writing

gentle nature

beautiful person

queen 

patient 

kind

slow

loved kids great with children

loved to learn 

read magazines books all the time

puzzles crossword

wore makeup everyday

fixed her hair every day

religious

church went to every sunday

prayed for people

work jobs labor manual factory maintenance child care thrift store maid cleaning 

music 50's 60s 70 80 90 2000 to 2003 death december 14, 2003

model modeling

sexy

dancing

iced tea nestea instant with sugar

pepsi cola

cake chocolate ice cream

dayquil sinus congestion

nice pleasant easy going 

avoids negative people but has to live around them in the worst neighborhood in kansas city northeast where to dirt poor poverty people stay 

astrology

horoscope daily

taurus sun sign rising sign cancer she never knew this i didn't have a chart for her while she was alive

poetry








Friday, November 18, 2022

Read every book, watch every movie, listen to every song: A goal dream I had as a child

 Is it childish or is it hope

Is it real or unrealistic? Doesn't matter does it

My grandson said "Grandma I'm gonns suck up all the stars in the sky with a vacuum !!!"

when he was 3 years old. We were walking in the neighborhood at night.

Is it hope, a dream, a desire,wish, .... is it possible?

Who cares !!!

Dream it.

Have something .... to strive for regardless of how "foolish, impossible" it seems or

what anyone else thinks about it.

it is excitement, enthusiasm




Monday, November 14, 2022

Sunday, November 13, 2022

HYPOCHONDRIAC, SOME PEOPLE PERSON HAS SAID THIS TO ME ABOUT ME

5 SIGNS YOU'VE ENDURED NARCISSISTIC ABUSE

 5 SIGNS YOU'VE ENDURED NARCISSISTIC ABUSE


1. Difficulty in making simple decisions 

2. Feelings of helplessness 

3. Social withdrawal 

4. Anxiety specific to the relationship 

5. Chronic sense of second guessing & paralysis


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt56nGmGG-0

SCARED TO DEATH OF MAKING ANY 'WRONG" MOVE OR HAVING ANY FACIAL EXPRESSION, EXPRESING ANYTHING, VOICING ANY WORD OR SOUND, OF EATING, DRINKING, BREATHING, MOVING, DOING, RELAXING, ANY TYPE OF ANY THING PERIOD THAT SETS OFF THE A BOMB ATOM HYDROGEN BOMB AGGRAVATED ANNOYED  NARC NARCISSIST WHO BLOWS UP AT ANY TYPE OF THING DUE TO FACT THEY ARE ALREADY AGITATED ABOUT LIFE TO BEGIN WITH

SCARED OF LOOKING AT ANY ITEM OR LOOKING PHYSICALLY ANY WAY 



XRAYS BACK SPINE NOVEMBER 2022

 


PERSONALITY : UNIQUE TO THE BEING

 BORN WITH CERTAIN CHARACTERISTICS

TENDENCIES

PREFERENCES

ANGER : CAUSED BY MATERIAL THINGS AND ASS HOLE BEHAVIOR

SUZY SUZIE SSASSY SAYS SO AND SAID NO TO YELLING SCREAMING ABUSE ABUSIVE LANGUAGE

CLEAN IT UP !!! JOHN YELLED AT ME MAY 2021

 RIGHT BEFORE HE WAS TAKEN AWAY ON MAY 11, 2021 

911 CALL TO PARAMEDICS

ON HIS DEATH BED

HOARDER STAGE 5


Your refrigerator is so clean ! comment from Karen S many years ago

I SAID I KNOW I WORK ON IT KEEP IT THAT WAY 

WE LIKE CLEAN FRIDGE



 sister in law who died

born februrary 23 1960

paranoid schizophrenic female woman ended up on meds medications one of which was zyprexa which made her gain about 100 pounds

JEALOUSY JEALOUS OF ANY ONE ANYWHERE 

Saturday, November 12, 2022

In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity." -- Albert Einstein

 Your Daily Quotation:

"In the middle of difficulty, lies opportunity."

-- Albert Einstein

The formula for peace of mind is simple: Don't worry about anything -- pray about everything." -- Author Unknown

 Your Daily Quotation:

"The formula for peace of mind is simple: Don't worry about anything -- pray about everything."

-- Author Unknown

Some people i know say "You dont have to show me", I get it, i dont want to hear you

 I dont want to see you

They focus their attention on anyone else in the environment and shut me out

..........

Others never say those things to me. My friends never treat me like i dont matter

 

 


Friday, November 11, 2022

 https://www.healthline.com/health/levoscoliosis

 https://scoliosisinstitute.com/scoliosis-pain/

Whatever you give a woman she will make it greater ......................

 “Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.. If you give her a house, she'll give “Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!"

ERICK S GRAY   QUOTES


Jump on the train Jane

Owning nice things does not make one nice

 I learned this by observation witnessing behavior from those who had/have nice or expensive items many years ago...over 40 years ago


Tuesday, November 8, 2022

 Had enough of being shit on .. treated like an idiot fool as  if im worthless and dont matter

 Of being loving

 Respectful considerate to those who have no love or respect for me

And no respecf for my grandson who really loves me

 I already cried my eyes out for him

His mistreatment

I cant stop it or change what happened 




 

Monday, November 7, 2022

Motto: My philosophy, ideas : We all win at life, your belief is your truth and reality

 everyone wins, all are winners


we all eat

we have plenty of food and anything we need or want

we are all happy


there is enough to go around for all people animals and life 

no one goes without 


game, i dont play games when it comes to truth, no shit bull exists





Full of excuses and whining.. when one can't figure out how to accomplish a thing

Sunday, November 6, 2022

 Handwriting with pen is much easier for me than typing keyboard pad tablet

Change results from awareness realization epiphany light bulb in me

Is this also true with others.?

 Exorcist needed for brainwashed person,a member of the Trump cult

Little did I know that all the work I've done is futile: APPEARANCE RULES IT ALL

 the way I look determines everything 


Awareness intuition in tune not luck or chance

 Awareness intuition in tune not luck or chance

 Not chance 

Here current circumstances 

Same pattern throughout life

 My guess is she he

 Has same m.o. from git go

Beginning of life

Predictably 

 Pretty simple 

Moves around places does same things

 Personality consistent 


 

  

Weak powerless person : jealous, destructive to others, destroys happiness and opportunities

Friday, November 4, 2022

EVIL is Devil with a dropped D

Media: TO stir the emotions of us

Natural genuine people and animals love me, Fake indoctrinated hate me

Welcome to weirdo world where i am natural genuine

 real hair all over my body

NOT PINK or PURPLE OR GREEN but its natural colors

real body not fake no plastic silicone implants metal or any other foreign objects in my body


Fake despises natural

Easy to get sucked into the vacuum vortex of fake

 Easy to get sucked into the vacuum vortex of fake 

SERVE YOURSELF FIRST

 SARAH STILLWELL

NOVEMBER 4, 2022

I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve." -- Albert Schweitzer

 Your Daily Quotation:

"I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve."

-- Albert Schweitzer

Thursday, November 3, 2022

Unexpected signs smarter than the average person

 https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/unexpected-signs-smarter-average-person.html

Imbalance

 Way too much time doing duties mundane shit 

Not nearly enough time feeling good having fun things


Mammon money material worshippers

 wants to impress

put on good impression 

nice face (which is fake)

status is of utmost importance

cares what strangers think

concerned about the neighbors and what they see think and do

does not care what i think or people or person that lives with them such as spouse child 

feelings do not matter regarding spouse, those who live in the same house

do not have to respect those close in the home yet

demand respect and total compliance from the people in the home

grabs things out of my hand when i am trying to figure out how to do something

violates personal boundaries consistently yet won't tolerate same 

throws shit on feelings wants desires like preferences of those in the home

restricts others and demands total freedom of the self


perfect looking hair OR cuts it all off so they don't have to groom it

CASh preferred payment method, NO tracking, no accountability, NO TRACE, not trackable,

suspicious distrusts mistrusts others due to knowing the self is not trustworthy

expects everyone else esp household to be agreeable totally compliant with them yet will be intolerant inflexible and demanding of others 

blows a gasket over anything i do 
yells at me for "cooking too much food" or I don't cook, only cook a couple times a week
and has 90 percent or so of house filled up with his stuff 
as if  i am not to spend any money, not eat, not have things i want do things i like have anything because "it's expensive, costs too much money"

has zero interest in my mental physical or emotional health
says doctors are out to rip people off
all the ads are out to get your money

blocks me out doesn't want to see or hear me and puts on headphones to hear outside media world and stares at screens or any other thing when possible















DEVIL appears to be an innocent sheep lamb first impression to public strangers

 can look so nice

clean innocent sweet 

impeccable appearnace might even be dressed in white (the color doesn't matter)

TURNS like a SNAKE

into a vehement vicious devil wolf instantly


Some think you should do anything for money. If they pay you. LACK of ethics, standards.

 Would they do anything for money? In exchange for any type of item...


Wednesday, November 2, 2022

I am a nail hitter: truth

 hit the nail on the head with the hammer (of my brain and mouth realizations)

which makes some people very angry pissed ticked madder than hornets

they don't wanna hear it


Avoidance behavior

 We do lots of things to avoid taking action to solve issues ongoing or otherwise

wrap your mind up into any type of thing so you don't have to take care of current or future issues


watch tv

listen to some thing some where that has nothing to do with immediate daily life activities that are effiicient therefore productive

watch vids on the internet

watch, look and watch things some more so you can criticiize the fukkk hell out of those stupid idiots that dont know how to do anything therefore making yourself believe you are superior smarter than others while you sit there in a big mess of confusion not solving your own basic needs 

make excuses

pretend like you don't know about a thing

pretend like you cant do anything about such and such

fake it to the maximum

complain you dont have enough money

you dont know the right people

you cant do anything to change a damn thing about much.. believe you dont have a choice 

believe you are stuck

maintain rut rutful thinking 


You always pass failure on the way to success." -- Mickey Rooney

 Your Daily Quotation:

"You always pass failure on the way to success."

-- Mickey Rooney

Hoarder disorder MHB

 takes 5 different meds pills prescription drugs for disorder that causes anxiety frustration from noises made from other living beings humans animals machinery 

NOISE ANXIETY https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/anxiety/triggers-for-noise-anxiety/

drugs don't stop the symptoms 

hoarder disorder mhb 

section 8 housing 

in violation

https://www.propertydo.com/section-8-landlords.htmlEvicting Section 8 Tenants for Violation of Lease

You can also evict Section 8 for repeated or serious lease violations. Tenants conducting illegal activities on or near the property are also grounds for Section 8 evictions. Primary examples of such breaches include:


The tenant refusing to pay for property damages caused by abuse or negligence by the tenant, listed occupants or the tenant's guest.


The tenant causes disturbance or harassment to neighbors or co-tenants on multiple occasions.


The tenant subletting or assigning the lease without the landlord's consent.


The tenant housing squatters (unlisted occupants) on the property.


The tenant keeping pets on the property without the landlord's consent (except in the case of service animals for the disabled).


The tenant committing illegal drug or criminal activity on or near the property.

The steps on how to evict Section 8 tenants for lease violations are largely similar to the ones that we have already mentioned above.


The only difference here is that you'll send to send the tenant a comply or vacate notice instead of a pay or quit notice. This notice will give the tenant a last chance to rectify any violations (typically within a 3 day deadline)

=============================================================

believes fried chicken stays good edible for weeks and is safe to eat because it is cooked all the bad stuff has been cooked out of it   https://www.makefoodsafe.com/does-cooked-chicken-need-to-be-refrigerated/

eats rotten spoiled food

wants to keep hang onto almost everything

too many things going at once 

one 5 minute job can take 5 hours to complete

keeps many other people busy doing things he she cant or wont do

nitpick fault finding in others 

saying they mistreat her stuff mishandle don't do job and/or don't do it right according to her specifications, 

finds something wrong with all of the care givers


said that I you are being negative when stated consider having a sale to get rid of things...the house is jam packed it's hard to get around in most rooms of the home. it's a tight squeeze for me and i am skinny you are fat

she is very full of information, intelligent, been around to many cities and countries

she is obese fat overweight diabetes can barely get out of the bed 
unable to do much daily house work chores duties except to eat, carefully maneuver around the house,
use the phone (can talk very well) 
said can barely reach to wipe her rear end butt ass so a bidet is close to being a 
necessity.

one of my wake up call people i know and witness see hear experience




Some people want problems not solutions

 solving the problem would end the conflict and leave them with nothing to do

Sometimes people don't want solutions that way they perpetuate the problems and have conflict and something to do

The more material things I have the worse I feel and the ass hole comes out quickly and often in other people

Serving the spirit of self and others tops accumulating material things and money

 SERVICE TO the spirit of god essence OTHERS TOPS ACCUMULATING MATERIAL THINGS

Being accepted as you are is desired by us

Being completely accepted as i am by any one person: miracle of the ages

Spectator thinks they know and can do better than the player

The only person in the world universe is what lots of people act like

Tuesday, November 1, 2022

Multi tasking :THE BIG lie

Some say you are beautiful as you are and i respond with

Some say you are beautiful as you are and i respond with 

thanks for your compliment opinion

my mother was beautiful

i am

remaining humble humility

beauty is in the eye of the beholder 

my grandfather taught me when i was a child so i don't have a big head ego 


I skim over stuff real quick and decide I DON"T NEED THAT most often

 and i have been told by many people

you don't need that ... makeup, that thing, item material thing whatever it may be 

minimalism,

less is more



People are Spending money on things junk crap we don't need: Marketing ads all over the place

 Marketing ads advertising focused on telling me you us what we "need"

our vanity ego pride AIMED at

trying to make me you feel insignificant , less than, with shortcomings because they are selling this or that and tell us we have to have it to be accepted like normal just like everyone else 

Monday, October 31, 2022

The p and the d

 They , the males

want the p

he would die for it, the chance to get back HOME in there

they run after it, starved for the possibility of getting in there 

and staying as long as possible


The d is optional for the F


She decides which M gets the P

IF HE gets any P

then he's a lucky MF

she could cut it off at any moment 


leaving him sitting by himself

grabbing his D

wishing he was in th P

not getting any

due to his AHOLE self Undesirable NASTY self




I AM

 ..what I am

regardless of what I have, who I know, where I go, what I do


material things and money that I temporarily own


I identify myself with me; this is the I am


Sunday, October 30, 2022

Does a man male boy have only one queen in his life?

Would the queen bee be...........

mother, wife friend gf girlfriend/fiance

mate  partner

NOTICED this phenonmenon amongst many men I know and have known

IF wife / girl is treated as THE queen, then mother is NOT , Mom is SHIT

IF mother is QUEEN then wife if SHIT

He treats wife like queen and mother like crap

He treats mother like queen and wife like crap


Stay out of people's a person personal choice and business. Quit telling others what to think, say do or feel

 Because each one is unique.

the individual has personal preferences and choices

Anyone or thing that steals your happiness is wrong

It's not the morphine its the size of the cage Rat park experiment

 https://sub.garrytan.com/its-not-the-morphine-its-the-size-of-the-cage-rat-park-experiment-upturns-conventional-wisdom-about-addiction

A traumatized womans face. Hideous result of constant war battles.


 October 28, 2022

Age 61 born in July 1961





 

Saturday, October 29, 2022

Walmart ..one day I'll go there to get a new back bone spine. Body parts will be sold there.

 I've been saying that for many years. 

Maybe I you or we can buy people there too 

Iike a new set of parents,  s few kids, a spouse or two 


Ugly old woman. Unwanted by most. Loved by one person my grandson for now.

 He's 8 years old. Won't be long he'll learn to hate me as they teach him to do. 

Dumping ground dormat slavepet sex hole doll dimwit stupid idiot: How i am treated throughout life

What other people want is top priority; what matters most

People that love me are? Children, nice spiritual people. Animals love me.

 children 

Kids

animals

pets

dogs

cats

deer


real 

natural

any race religion ethnic background

natural, real


Brown coffee. I called it when I was 5 years old. Dad made me some with milk and sugar.

Things that matter: Priorities

 Material things and money  

OR 

Nonmaterial Spirit Source energy

Mammon or God ?

Command or demand respect?

 https://www.wikihow.com/Command-Respect-from-Other-People

Thursday, October 20, 2022

I look the Devil in the face daily and don't strike back. I remain calm

I praise loudly; I blame softly." -- Queen Catherine II

 Your Daily Quotation:

"I praise loudly; I blame softly."

-- Queen Catherine II

How to be classy: 20 tips that make all the difference

 https://www.lovepanky.com/my-life/better-life/butterflies-in-your-stomach


How to be classy: 20 tips that make all the difference 


How to be classy: 20 tips that make all the difference

Usually, our behavior is modeled after our parents’. So, if you only saw lying, backstabbing, cheating, or any other kind of bad behavior in your childhood, don’t worry. It’s never too late to transform yourself into a highly classy individual.


Just remember these tips, and try to emulate them in your own life. Start small, and come back to them often. You can’t change all at once. But every time you make a conscious effort to remember these traits, they’ll become a part of who you are and the way you project yourself to the world.


So here’s how to be classy, in the subtlest and most powerful ways!


1. Don’t create drama

Unfortunately, some people thrive on drama. They will lie, pick fights, and say or do anything to get people riled up. But that’s not classy. If you want to know how to be classy, don’t go creating drama. Just don’t. [Read: Attention seeking behavior and why some people go looking for drama]


2. Stay away from drama

Okay, so many you’re not a drama creator, but if you even participate in drama, then that’s not classy. Perhaps your friend passes on a story about another mutual friend, and then you both decide to hold a grudge. That’s not classy. Don’t hang around people who create drama, and certainly participate or pass it on.


3. Dress tastefully

The media tells women that we need to dress “sexy” or “slutty” to gain a man’s attention. Well, that’s just bull. Sometimes, less is more. Don’t show up to a job interview or a first date looking like a call girl. Dress like you respect yourself and that you feel like you have nothing to prove with your body. [Read: How to be sexy, look sexy and feel sexy without ever trying too hard]


4. Be polite

Ahhhh, what ever happened to saying “please” and “thank you?” What happened to opening and holding doors for random strangers?


These basic etiquette are slowly becoming a thing of the past *or so it seems*. Don’t be selfish – think about others and have behaviors toward them that is polite. [Read: 15 tips to be nice and loved by all in just a couple of minutes]


5. Be respectful

Just because you are a liberal and your friend is a conservative, that doesn’t give you the right to trash them and their beliefs. Everyone deserves respect, so always remember that.


Treat the CEO of your company just the same way you do the janitors – or a homeless person. If you want to know how to be classy, this is definitely one you can’t forget.


6. Don’t be jealous

I know… jealousy is a natural human emotion. However, that doesn’t mean you have to talk about it or act upon it. Classy people keep it to themselves or share it with a very close friend. They don’t go raging on about their jealousy. That’s just not cool. Or classy. [Read: The subtle signs of a jealous friend you may not always recognize]


7. Be happy

You might not think happiness is part of learning how to be classy. But happy people have no need to prove themselves to others. And because of that, they don’t have to resort to doing anything that might embarrass themselves just to get attention. [Read: 13 happy things you need for a perfectly happy life]


8. Have passions

If you want to know how to be classy, have some passions! If you don’t have any, then just try things out. Everyone will find a passion eventually. Classy people have a sense of purpose, and they follow their passions.


9. Watch your body language

Many times, people aren’t even aware of the messages they send to others via their body language. But classy people are more conscious of it. They restrain themselves from rolling their eyes or getting too touchy-feely on the first date if it’s inappropriate. [Read: The classy girl’s guide to be more attractive to men]


10. Don’t jump on the bandwagon

There will always be fads and trend that are cool and fun to try. But just because all of your friends are doing something, wearing something, or saying something doesn’t mean you have to as well. Be your own person and think about your actions before you jump on the bandwagon.


11. Don’t post too many thirst traps

Everyone’s on social media, and posting selfies and keeping everyone updated on our personal lives has become a kind of norm these days. [Read: The most obvious thirst trap signs that scream “I want attention”]


But are you taking it to the next level by posting several thirst traps all the time? Sorry to offend anyone who does this, but research shows that one of the reasons they do it is to seek attention. If you want to know how to be classy, then stop making it all about yourself. [Read: What is a thirst trap and what it says about your self-esteem]


12. Have empathy

Speaking about making it all about yourself, classy people also have empathy for others. Even if they don’t agree with what other people say or do, they still express that they understand their point of view. When learning how to be classy, this is one of the vital characteristics you must possess.


13. Have self-confidence

Many people think that being self-confident is cocky or arrogant. But it’s not. The people who come across as cocky or self-loving are the ones who really don’t feel good about themselves.


Classy people just have a vibe they give out to the world that shouts, “I’m a great person, I love myself, but I have no need to announce it to the whole world.” [Read: How to build self-confidence – 16 ways to realize you’re worth it]


14. Don’t ever lose your cool

Emotions are hard to control, and some find it even more difficult than others. But even when you are angry at someone, you will want to remain calm so you don’t say or so something you’ll regret.


Take a break and walk away if you can’t do it in the moment. Don’t let your emotions rule your life and ruin your relationships.


15. Be authentic

Everyone can spot a fake person from a mile away. And being fake isn’t classy. If you’re always trying to be someone you’re not, ask yourself why you are doing that? Just be authentic. Be yourself. Be honest. All of those things are vital if you want to know how to be classy. [Read: How to recognize fake people and stay away from them]


16. Be true to yourself

What I mean by this is that you should stay true to your values and beliefs. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.


Don’t be a people-pleaser or a doormat. Know your personal boundaries, and don’t be afraid to kindly and gently tell people when they have crossed over them. [Read: People pleaser – 20 common signs most people just don’t see]


17. Surround yourself with positive people


Positivity breeds positivity. And classiness breeds classiness. So, if you’re hanging out with a crowd of people who don’t love themselves, create drama, participate in drama, and always lose their cool, chances are that you will end up being like that.


So, you need to find people who are classy, so you can all be classy together. [Read: 25 types of bad friends you need to unfriend right away]


18. Think before you speak

Your mom probably told you this a hundred times growing up, but it’s true. Once you say something, you can’t take it back. We all get upset, but that doesn’t mean we have to blurt out every negative thing that comes to our mind.


19. Don’t gossip

Gossip is potentially hurtful. Whether the gossip is true or false, you are still talking about other people, and they may not appreciate it. So, don’t listen to gossip, and for heaven’s sake, don’t pass it on even if you do hear it. [Read: 14 surefire ways to keep it classy at a party]


20. Take personal responsibility

If you want to know how to be classy, this one is the foundation of it all. Don’t blame other people. Instead, look within yourself and own up to your actions and words. It’s not easy for a lot of people to do, but it sure is classy.


How to be a classy person who exudes confidence and charm

Use these tips to transform yourself, one day at a time. Don’t ever mistake being classy for attire, it’s a quick trick that’s only one page of the book. And you’ll find yourself even more annoyed because you’re not getting the attention and respect you demand from others.


Instead, try to become a classy person from within. Do that, and no matter where you are or how you dress, you’ll always be the cynosure of everyone’s eye, and receive the respect and admiration that’ll come your way naturally.


Taking the high road is always preferable when you want to transform yourself into a classy person. So, if you want to know how to be classy, just follow these tips, and you’ll be on the right track.


He she is the bomb. I remain calm

 which makes him even madder

Wednesday, October 19, 2022

Frequently taking my food away from home or going into my bedroom to eat in peace for years

 stomach in knots at almost every mealtime at home due to his anger mean fits tantrums outbursts yelling criticism threats cheapness bitching about how much food i eat and i go to food pantries get free food since january 2012 and did get food stamps until the fall of 2021 for a little over a year


gastritis and duodenitis diagnosis from dr ahmen back in 2016 which is ulcers i had for many years causing horrible pain in my right side and middle of my gut


What I have experienced is The sex isn't worth it.

 45 years of having sex since I was 15 in 3 marriages where the sex is great but the other treatment is all about control domination power theft humiliation 

Godless men indeed who care mostly about themselves

Just had a Vision of his past after he displays anger at me frustrated pissed ticked off about foundation repairs needed at house 

costs too much 26,000 estimate from foundation company
house is semi bad neighborhood
not worth it to spend that much on it never get your money back if when it sells
don't have the money
can't do it all by himself
doesn't want to hire anyone else
thinks he can do it but takes a long time and is very hard work


his father and mother fretting worrying 

neither one of them doesn't /don't know what to do when a situation arises

something is missing

something is broken

needs fixed repaired replaced

so frustration leads to blaming the closest person and/or people around

to take their anger out on

because they can't figure out what to do

because they are broke poor dumb and ignorant

proud and paranoid

can't let anyone in the house for fear of stealing thieves


Needs now

 Home house safe all the time 

New vehicle

 Calm peaceful life  

 Solitude 

Autonomy 

Back surgery 

Justice system doesn't work 

Therapy from anyone doesn't work. The other person won't seek help doesn't think he has problems, blames me for anger and vengefulnus and bad attitude 








I'll be the last person you ever hurt I said 10-19-2022 Wednesday

 I'll be the last person you ever hurt I said

After he faux choked me then grabbed me and shoved my back into the stand up deep freezer in the kitchen at our house Tonight. 

My eyeglasses fell off my head as he pushed shoved shook me. I caught them and my glasses were twisted in my right hand 

No marks were left on my body

Same old tired worn out rat wheel pattern endlessly spinning and getting nowhere 

When I got back home tonight after all of that physical confrontration from him I said one thing is you're probably not sleeping well (trying to justify, pacify, soothe, making excuses for him to justify the bad behavior. It doesn't work...ever)

He says If you werent so MEAN to me ...

When the fact is he is very mean to me

nasty tone of voice, nasty mean words, hateful attitude, negative outlook on almsot everyone and everything in life

told him earlier he was blameshifting and projecting his own behavior upon me and that 
his mother was a troublemaker, made it very difficult for anyone to live with her and that is exactly what he does so he said that I am the difficult one and I am the troublemaker

 I'll be the last person you ever hurt I said and outside the house in the driveway I said that again and he said OH who's gonna hurt me, clayton, your son or ricky?? I said No I don't know who it will be but it's not them. Of course they won't do a damned thing to him because he has befriended both of my sons and neither will defend me in any way. They stick up for him and act like I am doing something wrong.

in fact anyone that he has met has convinced them of his niceness, his great level headed opinions and work on anything so he gets by with saying or doing virtually anything to me and there is nothing I can do about it.











Never be afraid to tread the path alone. Know which is your path and follow it wherever it may lead you; do not feel you have to follow in someone else's footsteps." -- Eileen Caddy

 Your Daily Quotation:

"Never be afraid to tread the path alone. Know which is your path and follow it wherever it may lead you; do not feel you have to follow in someone else's footsteps."

-- Eileen Caddy

Monday, October 17, 2022

Saturday, October 15, 2022

Efficient efficiency

 Efficient efficiency 

Organizing

1. Dump the trash

2. Have necessary things

3. Attention to what you're doing

4. FOCUS: No distractions

5. Stick with it (what you are doing at the moment)

until you're finished before going to next project /dute//acitivity/chore

6. Concise exact precise 

7. SYSTEM

8. STREAMLINE

9. SIMPLICITY

10. LIMITS

11.



IDOLS COME CRASHING DOWN. FALL FAIL

Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around." -- Henry David Thoreau

 Your Daily Quotation:

"Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around."

-- Henry David Thoreau

Saturday, October 8, 2022

Sunday, October 2, 2022

Miracle am still alive and halfway healthy

 Truly 

Could be dead like my next door neighbor Wendy

Or in serious ly bad health like Debbie 

Who used to live in the s ame house as Wendy

Or any other person 


Fancy cleaners versus basic cleaning products

 It's all about the money. Your choice. Spend lots of money of items for specific cleaning chores or use simple and cheap things to get the job done


incorrigible Today's word and lesson for my grandson and me

 in·cor·ri·gi·ble  (ĭn-kôr′ĭ-jə-bəl, -kŏr′-)

adj.

1. Incapable of being corrected or reformed: an incorrigible criminal.

2. Firmly rooted; ineradicable: incorrigible faults.

3. Difficult or impossible to control or manage: an incorrigible, spoiled child.

n.

One that cannot be corrected or reformed.


https://www.thefreedictionary.com/incorrigible

What I can do daily determines my life

 What I can do for at least 4 hours everyday physically, mentally and emotionally  as a job, a career 

physical mental emotional activities 

sustained on a daily basis 


What I am capable of handling continually in the long run

not  many things I can only do for a short period

It's not education status diplomas certificates

not intelligence or awareness 

It is about sustainability. Being able to sustain and handle stuff every single day and still maintain health and sanity.




Thursday, September 29, 2022

Nocturnal me hasn't done well living with with early birds

 Or working with them 


I have no idea where I got being a night owl

Both my parents and grandparents were daytime people


Just don't say anything ..... he said many years ago

Clean up, accounting main things in my life

 brooms mops dishes

vacuum

sweep

organizing

 my stuff and  other people's stuff 

hoarders  those who don't want to clean anything up

they don't want to do that menial mundane type of work ...maybe they feel like they are above all of that 

those who don't want to keep track of receipts and money spent



You Talk Too Much .. Joe Jones 1960

 You talk too much, you worry me to death,

You talk too much, you even worry my pet.

You just talk, talk too much.

You talk about people that you don't know,

You talk about people wherever you go.

You just talk, talk too much.

You talk about people that you've never seen,

You talk about people, you can make me scream.

You just talk, you talk too much.


You Talk Too Much .. Joe Jones 1960  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sm2_6exVJuE

Child knows what they want and who they are. Brainwashing and indoctrination begins asap

 indoctrination brainwashing of children, teens, adults 


teaching conformity

sameness all should excel in all things and look and dress the same, eat same foods and same amounts

not allowing much for uniqueness and differences


focusing on the outside and not reflecting 


outside focus (what is someone else doing)

comparing self to to another and gauging "success" upon competing

teaching us to "keep up with THEM, the "Jones'"

yourself is not good enough the way you are
you must be like so and so


Concentrate your powers. Identify what you are particularly good at doing and do more of it." -- Brian Tracy

Whatever your grade or position, if you know how and when to speak, and when to remain silent, your chances of real success are proportionately increased." -- Ralph C. Smedley

 IF I can practice this 

learn to be brief


Wednesday, September 28, 2022

Philosophy antonyms and synonyms

 https://www.antonym.com/antonyms/philosophy


1. philosophy

noun. (fəˈlɑːsəfi) A belief (or system of beliefs) accepted as authoritative by some group or school.

Antonyms

internationalism nationalism monism imitation unbelief multiculturalism formalism pluralism

Synonyms

doctrine freethinking humanitarianism phenomenology ism absolutism

Etymology

philosophy (English)

philosophie (Anglo-Norman)

philosophia (Latin)

φιλοσοφία (Ancient Greek (to 1453))

φιλόσοφος (Ancient Greek (to 1453))

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2. philosophy

noun. (fəˈlɑːsəfi) The rational investigation of questions about existence and knowledge and ethics.

Antonyms

inactiveness actual sin falsehood inactivity Athanasianism Arianism common

Synonyms

transcendental philosophy dialectic legal philosophy logic law

Etymology

philosophy (English)

philosophie (Anglo-Norman)

philosophia (Latin)

φιλοσοφία (Ancient Greek (to 1453))

φιλόσοφος (Ancient Greek (to 1453))

3. philosophy

noun. (fəˈlɑːsəfi) Any personal belief about how to live or how to deal with a situation.

Antonyms

unbelief disloyalty

Synonyms

belief

Etymology

philosophy (English)

philosophie (Anglo-Norman)

philosophia (Latin)

φιλοσοφία (Ancient Greek (to 1453))

φιλόσοφος (Ancient Greek (to 1453))


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The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said." -- Peter F. Drucker

 Your Daily Quotation:

"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."

-- Peter F. Drucker

Philos philosophy

philosophy definition from antonym dot com

2. philosophy

noun. (fəˈlɑːsəfi) The rational investigation of questions about existence and knowledge and ethics.

Antonyms

inactiveness actual sin falsehood inactivity Athanasianism Arianism common

Synonyms

transcendental philosophy dialectic legal philosophy logic law


================================================================

Philos wants what is needed

appropriate adequate amounts "just right"

is not greedy

philos knows there is abundance


accepts others for what they are what it is

Understands  .. seeks understanding

Solitude and reflection is practiced willingly

Politics is avoided . Philos is aware of such and chooses other activities

Teaching, arts, crafts, music, dancing, gymnastics, swimming, writing, author, authoring, books, movies, plays 

Writes, talks, speaks, socializes with most beings whether it is human or other kinds of animals, beings, plants, "inanimate" such as rocks, stones, metal, cement any type of element

Solo activities alone and enjoyed tremendously

Observes the whole as well as the individual

See connections the connected of all it senses with the 5 physical senses and understands

the unseen unheard not smelled the invisible is real, the reality of which comprises the majority

of energy ..rays, and radio waves sound waves xrays gamma ultraviolet 

The reality is the source energy/ energies 

Radiation 

IS

patient, understands, seeks to know and relate, kind, helpful, generous (wisely so)

wise, 

TIME wise: past, present, future,

Reflects past

Aware of the now

Visions of future

DREAMS

ETHICAL

MEDITATES

FLEXIBLE

Round spiral swirling fluid cannot will not be shoved into a box .. any type of containment, restriction, 

Does not PUSH, shove, force, 

PROTECTIVE of other life forms

Appreciates, has gratitude

wants what they have, what they chose

Satisfied 

Little things are the source, important, priority, ... is very content with small stuff and knows it makes the BIG things 

NATURE is enjoyed, revels in the Natural

simple simplicity

pure fresh 

unique original

Aware of self, focuses on what self is doing, feeling, thinking, needing, wanting

TIME understands things take time. Patient, waits without anxiety, frustration









Government

 Employment  Regulated  Jobs Institutions  Affiliations  Bureaus


Schools Colleges Universities

Attorney Law Judicial 

Airport airlines

Animal Control

Banks

City

County

State

Federal

Utilities

ATF

EPA

FCC

FDA

Fire

Police

IRS

Law

Insurance

Medical 

Hospitals

Clinics

Drug stores Pharmarcies

Pharmaceutical companies

Military


Automobile production

Automobile related Licensing Sales 

Trains

Parks & Recreation

Patent office

Zoo





I want to understand, get along and have peace. He wants to fight NOT even try to understand.

Tuesday, September 27, 2022

 Artist  - Release ( Label) Cat # Status

4-Fun - You Can't Play Me (12", Promo) (EastWest Records America) DMD 1720

Al B. Sure! - Missunderstanding (12", Maxi) (Warner Bros. Records, Warner Bros. Records, Uptown Records) 0-21744, 9 21744-0

Alex Brown - (Come On) Shout (12") (Mercury) 880 694-1

Alphaville - Romeos (12", Single, Promo) (Atlantic) DMD 1318

(5) Alta Dustin - Lookin' For Love (12", Maxi, Promo) (Atlantic) DMD 1636

Angie St. Phillips* - Light Up My Heart (12") (TSR Records) TSR842

Apollo Smile - Let's Rock (12", Maxi, Promo) (A&M Records) SP-17828

B-Fats - I Found Love (12") (Orpheus Records) V-72675

Baby S - Street Fractions (2xLP, Album, Promo) (Ruthless Records) E2S 56785

(10)  Basic Black - What Ever It Takes (12", Single, Promo) (Sound Of New York) L33-1091

Beats International - Echo Chamber (12", Promo) (Go! Beat, Elektra) ED 5532

      Blaze - So Special (12", Promo) (Motown) L33-1043

Bobbi Humphrey - Let's Get Started (12", Promo) (Warner Bros. Records) PRO-A-4354

Bobby Rydell - Will You Be My Baby (7", Single) (Cameo) C-252

(15)  Bow Wow Wow - Baby, Oh No / Cowboy (12") (RCA Victor) PD-13306

The Boys - A Little Romance (12", Promo) (Motown) L33-17896

The Boys - Thanx 4 The Funk (12", Promo) (Motown) L33-1147

The Boys - Thanx 4 The Funk (12", Promo) (Motown) L33-1147

Cherrelle - You Look Good To Me (12" Extended Dance Mix) (12", Pit) (Tabu Records) 4Z9 05279

(20)  Chic - Rebels Are We (12", Promo) (Atlantic) DMD 241

Chris Jagger - Chris Jagger (LP, Album, Pre) (Asylum Records) SD 5069

Cinema (5) - New Girl Now (12", Promo) (A&M Records) SP-12283

       The Controllers - Break Out The Love (12", Single) (MCA Records) MCA-23682

Curtains - That's What It Is (12", Promo) (Radar Records (14))

(25)  Dead Or Alive - I'd Do Anything (Megamix) (12", Promo) (Epic) 49-04979


Deborah Harry - Sweet And Low (12", Maxi) (Sire, Red Eye, Reprise Records) 0-21446

        Dimensional Sound - Disco Gold #4 (LP) (United (9), United (9)) US-7816, US 7816

Dreamboy - Contact (12", Maxi) (Qwest Records, Qwest Records) 0-20303, 9 20303-0 A

        Eddy Grant - Going For Broke (LP, Album) (Portrait, Portrait) FR 39261, 39261

(30)  Elliott Murphy - Texas / Out For The Killing (12", Maxi) (Closer Records) CL 1256


Eric Gable - Remember The First Time (12") (Orpheus Records) V-72681

Eve Gallagher - Love Is A Master Of Disguise (12", Promo) (Charisma) DMD 1819

Evelyn Thomas - Reflections (12") (Record Shack Records, Mega Records (5)) RSD-6955

Ex-Girlfriend - You (You're The One For Me) (12", Promo) (Reprise Records) PRO-A-4981

(35)  Ex-Sample - And So It Goes (12") (Wide Angle) TTW 87133


Full Force - Unselfish Lover (12") (Columbia) 44-05333

Garland Jeffreys - Hail Hail Rock 'N' Roll (12", Promo) (RCA) RDAB-62175-1

Genevha - Life In The Movies (12") (CBS Associated Records) 4Z9-06961

Girls Can't Help It - Baby Doll (12", Maxi) (Sire, Sire) 0-29773 (Labels), 9-29773-0 A

      (40)  Glen Goldsmith - You've Got Me Dancin (12", Promo) (RCA) 9107-1-RDAB

The Golden Palominos - The Animal Speaks (12", Single) (Celluloid) CEL 190

Grady Harrell - Fun (12", Promo) (RCA) 9010-1-RDXCD

Inner City - That Man (He's All Mine) (2x12", Promo) (Virgin) DMD 1567

Isis - Rebel Soul / Face The Bass (12", Promo) (4th & Broadway) 440 513-0 DJ

(45)  Ernie Isley, Chris Jasper, Marvin Isley* - Look The Other Way (12") (CBS Associated Records, Magic Sound Productions) 4Z9-05109


Jagged Edge Featuring Jermaine Dupri - Stunnas (12", Promo) (Columbia, Sony Urban Music)

Jamie J. Morgan - Walk On The Wild Side (12") (Tabu Records) 4Z9 73164

Jean Beauvoir - Gamblin Man (12", Single, Promo) (Columbia) CAS 1169

Jeanna Cie - Red Light, Green Light (12") (MCA Records) MCA-23878

(50)  The Jim Carroll Band - Dry Dreams (LP, Album, Promo) (ATCO Records) SD 38-145

Crazy Joe* & The Variable Speed Band - Wild Thing (12", Promo) (Chance Records (7)) CH 1301

John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band - C-I-T-Y (12", Single, Promo) (Scotti Bros. Records) ZAS 2140

Joyce "Fenderella" Irby - Mr. D.J. (12", Promo) (Motown) L33-17777

JT Money - Hi-lo (12", Promo) (Priority Records) SPRO 81449

(55)  Kathy Kosins - I've Got The Night Off (12") (Carrere USA) 4Z9 05996


Keith & Darrell - Work That Body (12", Single, Promo) (Motown) 4516MG

Kenny Loggins - Vox Humana (12", Promo) (Columbia) CAS 2041

Kim Dorell - Micro-Man (12") (OZ Magical Music) OC-101762

Kui Lee - The Extraordinary Kui Lee (LP) (Columbia) CS 9403

(60)  Kwick - Shake Till Your Body Break (12", Promo) (EMI America) SPRO 9732

La Toya Jackson - Imagination (12") (CBS Associated Records) 4Z9-05389

Laura Branigan - Satisfaction (12") (Atlantic) 0-86914

Lil' Zane - None Tonight / What's Up (12", Maxi, Promo) (Priority Records) SPRO-81441

Loreta - Trouble With Boys (12") (Reprise Records, Reprise Records) 0-44790, 9 44790-0

(65)  Love & Sas - Call My Name (12", Promo) (RCA, RCA) RDAC-62236-1, 07863 62236-1


Lydia Rhodes - DJ Give Me That Funky Bass (12") (MCA Records) MCA-24027

Matthew Todd - Heartbeat (12", Single) (DMM Records) DMO-9300

MC Hammer - (Hammer Hammer) They Put Me In The Mix / Cold Go M.C. Hammer (12", Single) (Capitol Records) V-15460

MC Shan - Ain't It Good To You (12", Promo) (Cold Chillin') PRO-A-4391

(70)  Missy Elliott - Teary Eyed / Joy (12", Promo) (Atlantic) PR 301896


Nancey Jackson - Free (Yes I'm Free) (12") (Harmony Records (6)) 88561-1656-1

New Choice - At Last (LP, Album) (Warner Bros. Records) 1-25752

No Face - Hump Music (12", Promo) (Great Jones) GJ-603 DJ

Nu Sounds* - Condition Red (12") (UNI Records) UNI-8016

(75)  Omar Chandler - Do You Really Want It (12", Single) (MCA Records, MCA Records) MCA12-53905, MCA12 53905


Party Posse - Keep Dancin' / Strivin' (12") (Jive) 1212-1-JD

Patti Austin - Honey For The Bees (12", Maxi) (Qwest Records) 0-20361

Patti LaBelle - Winner In You (LP, Album, Pin) (MCA Records) MCA-5737

Patty Weaver - Shot In The Dark (12", Promo) (Warner Bros. Records) PRO A 1034

(80)  Pebbles - Take Your Time (Extended Remix) (12", Single) (MCA Records) MCA-23882


Perri - I Don't Wanna Lose Your Love (12") (Zebra Records, MCA Records) ZEB 7289, ZEB-23813

Philly's Most Wanted - Cross The Border / Suckas Pt.2 (For Da’ Gansta’s) (12", Promo) (Atlantic) DMD 2570

Phyllis Nelson - Don't Stop The Train (12", Single) (Carrere) 8.091

Poppa Ron Love - I'm A Girl Watcher (12", Promo) (Def Jam Recordings) 44-68783

(85)  René And Angela* - Save Your Love (For #1) (12") (Mercury) 880 731-1


Renegade Foxxx - Scream (Get It Right) Remix / Anything U Want (12", Promo) (Still Hustlin Records)

Rich Nice - So What You Gotta Man (12", Promo) (Motown) L33-18326

Scandalous Featuring M.J. White* - Still Irresistible (12", Promo) (Atlantic) DMD 1646

She Rockers - On Stage / Get Up On This (12", Promo) (Jive) 1197-1-JDAB

(90)  Short Dawg - Cruzin (12") (Russell Simmons Music Group)


Slaughter House (5) - Yaw Don't Know / That's Goin Be A Problem (12", Promo) (Slaughterhouse Music (2))

Steel Pulse - Reaching Out (12", Single) (MCA Records) MCA-23894

Stephanie Mills - In My Life (12") (Club) JABX 9

T.O.N.E. - Rumors 2002 (12", Promo) (Select Records) 95078-1

(95)  Tevin Campbell - Round And Round (12", Maxi) (Paisley Park, Warner Bros. Records) 9 21740-0, 0-21740


Then Jerico - The Motive (12", Single, Promo) (MCA Records, London Records) L33-17577

Tina Turner - Let's Stay Together / I Wrote A Letter (12", Single, Pic) (Capitol Records) V-8579

Today - Why You Get Funky On Me (12", Promo) (Motown) L33-18185

Tomi Jenkins - Telling You How It Is (12", Single) (Elektra) 0-66699

(100)  Twelve-88 - Uh Huh (12", Promo) (Select Street Records) 95072-1


V.H.F. - Love In The Night (12", W/Lbl) (Record Shack Records) SOHOT 75

Various - Denim (LP, Album, Comp) (K-Tel) WU 3560

      Viola Wills Ashmun* - Space (12") (RVA Records) RVA 1001 RE

(104)  Westside (5) - Jungle Love (12", Single) (MCA Records) MCA-23509


THE ABOVE RECORD LOT OF 104

LISTED ON OFFERUP 9-25-2022





************************************************

************************************************




Gladys Knight & The Pips* - Between Her Goodbye And My Hello (7", Single) (Soul) S 35111F

Earl Grant - Sweet Sixteen Bars (7", Single, Pin) (Decca) 25574

Dick Curless - China Nights (Shina No Yoru) / Old Bob Burton (7") (Capitol Records) 3630

      Jumpin' Gene Simmons* - Haunted House / Hey, Hey Little Girl (7", Single, Styrene) (Hi Records) 45-2076


(9-27-22 put on ebay) Next Issue - Dear Mr. President (CD, Single, Promo) (Epic) ESK 74397)


Dan Fogelberg - Next Time (7", Promo) (Epic, Full Moon) 8-50165


      (9-27-22 put on ebay)  Various - Original Movie Themes (10xCD, Comp + Box) (Documents) 231888


You're not going to change the nature of a child, man, woman or any other life form

 Fighting results when another attempts to strip the natural state of the being

Sunday, September 25, 2022

Me and lots of people have issues with parents mom dad and other caregivers

MD MORE DRUGS Some do this for a living, at their job/career or on the Streets

 Synthetically produced manmade drugs pharmaceuticals


Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have." -- Doris Mortmanin to do

 Daily Quotation:

"Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have."

-- Doris Mortmanin to do

Spare the child. Rid yourself of attachment to material things.

Thorough is me: Slow, details, lists, good memory

 and some people hate that

Interrupt, push, shove people to fuck them up

Too much stuff, not finishing projects, thoughts or sentences = FRUSTRATION

 anger

madness

insanity

misery

hate

frustrated

pissed

upset

anxious

You don't need that : makeup, more than one man said to me

Some people need more and more: I need less

Some things we do are time consuming expensive wasteful and stress inducing

Amazon River : Destination desired

Japan: Destination desired

Simplicity is what it comes down or up to

Nature 

Basic needs




Clean house: Major goal FREE Myself

Rid myself and this house of things not needed, wanted 

Saturday, September 24, 2022

Nocturnal by nature I am.

since a child am a night person
naturally tend to be more active at night and dead in the morning for at least 2 hours

memories as far back as age 5 or 6 when living in California. they (parents, grandparents) put me to bed at 8 pm or so and I lay awake in bed in the dark hearing the tv playing until after the 10 o'clock news was over before finally going to sleep
stared at ceiling in total darkness and saw groups of different colored light specks moving around on the ceiling from one side of the room to the other when I was 5 years old. Have no idea what those light forms are/were. Still don't know.

currently self medicate with food to induce sleep in order to attempt to wake up early. so i will wake up early 2, 3 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 am then pee and go back to bed ... If I get up and stay up I have to take a nap
coffee plain when i get up which I quit for a few years back in 2016 and switched to hot tea due having gastritius and duodenitis (ulcers, very painful in my side) 
now that that right side pain is not so bad I am back to drinking black coffee when I get up then iced tea and lots of water the rest of the day
 

woke at 731 am today only to return to sleep until 1030 am

1036 pm now and wide awake .. don't want to have to eat this early to start the 
sleepy inducing process 

have done many different things over the years

used to drink alcohol
take antihistamine such as diphenhydramine or benadryl which dryes me out and can take up ro 2 hours to induce sleep

passion flower
sleep gummies with melatonin (don't work very well)

the absolute best is to stay up naturally until I get tired then go to sleep and wake up refreshed even if it is noon

circadian rhythm
metabolism 
what are they ?

tired of having to have caffeine
what if I lived so I did not have to rely of caffeine products or eat a bunch of food or drink a bunch of alcohol and take pills just to sleep?





Thursday, September 22, 2022

 Navigating thru social political slime , the hidden motives and 

Masked reasons for human behavior 

Is one of the most difficult things to do

When you are a free spirit unbridled with hidebound ways


Friday, September 16, 2022

Shut up: scared to death of what I say by some.

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been." -- Alan Ashley-Pitt

Distractions stop creativity creations. Serious consequence of allowing deferment from thoughts and goals.

 What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it."

-- Alexander Graham Bell


When I allow anyone or thing to interrupt I can't finish what I aim to find 

focus is stopped, a deter is made, off track happens, the thing i want to do does not get done



Jwl Layson music man kc

 Scimecas 1st meal spaghetti  italian food jan 2000

jan 2000 to september 2008 

goal to clean the music store up. 

worked in a disasterized mess the whole time. anytime i or anyone cleaned up and organized john blew up and messed it up. just like his hoarder house.. crammed from floor to ceiling. shelves stacked upon shelving, extension cords plugged into endless cords and power strips into more strips .. the endless of anything imaginable

working was extremely difficult. concentration and focus almost nil

john ended up staying one most of the days while i worked by myself. he was out buying more and as much as possible every day, packing, jamming the store to the hilt

he had 3 large storage spaces at the flea he paid rent on until 2021. who knows how much money the flea made off john for his storage payments

as soon as i started at the super flea in early 2000 he said i should sign up with ebay and sell his stuff music movies books electronics anything he bought for resale

oct 1999 i got my first computer at best buy and circuit city so i could learn how to use it on the internet. i wanted to know how to use it so i could work at office jobs like accounting bookeeping

after a few years he began using his computer to burn cds and dvds movies and copy tapes anything to sell to customers to make money. he copied artwork also. the results were poor. he insisted i do it, i refused due to infringments and laws which he avoided like the plague and said i was worried about nothing, as usual, minimizing what ever i said about 

doing the right things, cleaning items things and the store up. the floors were nasty, the trash cans filthy, dirt, greasy grease nasty stuff sticky floors and merchandise and cds records with scratches cracks other flaws didnt bother him in the least

every saturday and sunday i worked at super flea with john and

it was always a fight, fighting at work every weekend with him. sloppiness, stinky stuff, dirt, grim, disorder, clutter, the back counter so crammed i could barely get around to get behind the counter so after a couple of years i about gave up and laid in a recliner chair the first hour or two then crawled over to the tall office chair and sat there behind my computer screen with the notebook at the counter to hand write down the sales in columns

i am told by him you act like this is a business it is not and husband tells me to shut the f up and just do your job he is paying you 40 dollars a day at first then a big raise to 50 a day because i drove him all over town on saturday evenings after working all day so he could buy more stuff at pawn shops thrift stores and the like

and i ended up picking him up at home and taking him to work then driving him home each sat and sunday after he quit driving, couldnt drive his car anymore which he never answered the question "john, why cant you drive anymore? why did you lose your drivers license?" all these years he never did say, he just said one time "its complicated" any other time he zipped his lips played opposum like he was dead and changed the subject

couldn't clean up and organize he destroyed whatever i did. we had part time briefly a few months total maybe .. some help from a couple of other ladies jacque and bree he tore up their work, also. jacque ended up living with john for a few years until 2020 or 2021 when she went to a nursing home after getting alzheimer's disease . before she got real bad with her mind she told me she hated john's guts, couldn't stand him. she would email me with his shenanigans and talk to me on the phone and a few times in person letting me know what was going on there at the house

went to visit johns a few times could barely walk thru the house, it was no big deal at all to him. i felt like a panic attack hitting me whenever i entered. the cat piss smell was overwhelming and tiptoeing like a snake thru the 3 bd ranch home with a full basement was the only way to get thru it alive

i didnt know what he really was until 2021 after i researched it; he was a hoarder, in stage 4 of hoarding disorder. 

prior to this me and my husband and any other person who knew him just thought he was dirty, messy, a collector, a buyer and seller of merchandise

summer 2021 john told me you like to talk you should write you need to write books sarah .  he was in the hospital had a heart attack death was imminent . 

john lessons. i learned i must have courage and patience of a saint, strength of will like hardly any other person i know who would not put up with john's habits, treatement, crap. most would walk away the very first time he shot his filthy mouth off with shit flying out of it at me. screaming at me for a drop of water on the floor i mopped, raging at me for throwing a piece of water damaged rotten cardboard into the trash can at work at super flea... his yelling at me and rage was so loud and bad that a man customer walked by when john was raging at me. the man looked at me said i will take him out right now for you ...no man should talk to a woman that way!!

working with men and married to men who didnt always do or want to do the right things .. the right things for me and most people anyway. conniving and cheating might be the right thing for them and some others.  and somehow i manage to be clean, seemingly untouched and remain an angel as some say that i am. 

it's not all bad, though. there are and were many good things experienced learned and had out of the tsunami war zone hurricane earthquake situations i have lived thru; some of the biggest disasters and messes a person could go there i have done, been in. survived. 

story of my life.. here

my ex acted and was the same way and current hub is just as bad as all that and somehow i manage to still be alive with a tiny shred of sanity left in my poor little half wit kind hearted doormat soul

i wonder at times if i must be insane. .. yes i must be a fool. a fool's fool to put up with ass hole behaviors such as theirs
{cussing me out, threatening me, tearing the hell out of things, minimizing any ethical word that comes out of my mouth, dominating dictator hitler types, pigs, control freaks, cutting corners, cutting me down, causing tons of unnecessary work and making one hours work turn into 100 hours work, ...}


well the truth is i had hope. i really foolishly thought i could clean it up, that was my mission. i had a goal and in the beginning i tried for 9 years couldnt do it but waited gave up finally in 2021 after i left that hell hole pit in 2008 (13 years later) johns house got cleaned up and out, it's all gone. he lost it all, the entire contents and the house.  

i also foolishly thought people, a person could change. and now i know the truth; they wont change one iota, bit, fraction, micron, ounce or any other measure a person can name. a person is what they are. they arent going anywhere you think they will go or want them to go. it is their life, their plan and mission to do precisely what the sam hell they want to do. it's not my business. they dont want to be fixed, told what to do, what they should think, say feel or want to be doing or going.

john and others
pushy, all about the money, material things, drive fast, get it all as fast as possible, fast food probably fast women and fast cars. impatient. demanding, yelling. accumulate stuff dont want to let go of things.








How did i end up with this?

Wednesday, September 14, 2022

Some are "I knew you could do it" after the fact. "You can't do it" and blocking you every step of the way before the fact.

pretending to have faith prior to but never did have confidence in your ability 

 this is lying

2 timing


Knowing what you are dealing with makes it easier to deal

 Truths

cares only about what he thinks I am and should be, do, think, act

throws up walls, block, objections to things I think, want, am say, do, wear, 

becomes irate throws fits 

says you can't do that you don't have the money, i'm not paying for it

how are you going to do that?


i don't want you to blankety blank

i dont understand why

My purpose: sex object, roommate, house sitter, caretaker, sidekick without much say in any important thing around here at the house

house, utilities in his name only




Monday, September 12, 2022

My patience has about reached its end, around 99.9% of dealing with certain kinds

Anybody everybody nobody and or somebody is screwed up thinking

 I hear these words frequently from a person and people who are confused anxiety fearful paranoid crazy nuts unsure uncertain

 Chicken shit 

Cowards cowardly

 Mixed up 

Screwy 

Screwed 

Don't know what to do 

Think in terms of should 

anonymous people without names or identity includes anybody anyone any man any woman, everybody, everyone, someone, somebody.... nameless faceless meaningless OBJECTS like puppets dolls stepword wives or husbands 

This type of thinking is insane.

I was told that I don't exist by another person (a female woman sister in law when I first met her in 1991, Dorothy was her name) who grew up in household using these same words that attempt to include every single person or no person in a group, activity, thought process or any other method of a life form.




Memorizing a bunch of shit is just that.

 Has nothing to do with creativity.

Why can't you be like "everybody else" ??? he yells

I cried when my grandson was 5 because I knew kindergarten was next. I am still crying.

I cried when my grandson was 5 because I knew kindergarten was next. I am still crying. 

He knows what he loves and wants. Society is about conformity to achieve a "norm" that is not about the individual.

It's about melting a person down into a huge pot of sameness with all of the others.

Attempting to strip the individual's identify away.

Children are unique. They need to stay that way.  Into adulthood. 

The people who maintain their SELF are the most recognized, become famous and sometimes rich in wealth. Artists, engineers, all of the fields of endeavor. The ones who blend into the mix and lose their sense of identify by trying to please everyone go down the drain. 

Not be whipped into submission to conform into a blase standard of nothingness.


I'm betting it's mold in here

 I must have mold on the brain and my whole body is loaded with mold fungi bugs and toxic waste from all of it