Big mistake. I made the first move

 Towards him

1987

And I lose

Also I think I might have made the first move in 1981 towards my ex the father of my son

And may have made it to the father of my first son

All these men treat me like shit

I dearly loved adored them. Huge mistake to ever submit myself 

Live and learn it is said

And I lived but didn't learn hard lesson: never should I have shown love and interest first to any man