Indecisive and ambivalent (love me one day, hate me the next) you are running scared.

Indecisive and ambivalent (love me one day, hate me the next) you are running scared.
You don't know what you want, are so afraid to make a mistake.
You don't know who you are.
You don't know who anyone else really is and
You don't care and don't care to know anyone or yourself.
The more afraid
you are, the more mistakes you make. You are not consistent. 
You shake, Your body shakes. Your hands shake the most
at times when the fear is abundant, rising higher to the top of your head.


The more afraid you are of losing, the more you lose.

You have threatened me for the last time.
You will never hit me, never strike me again.

You had something more precious than gold--love, my love--and you didn't
want it. (because you didn't know what is was nor the value of it.
Value to you is based upon how much money it cost or how
much money you can get out of it. Period.

The first thing/statement/question out of your mouth regarding
any situation is "How much did that cost?!"
and "Why are you wasting your money on crap like that!"

Money is your god--the thing you worship IS gold, coins,
money, material things: it is mammon, not the source energy.
Physical results are worshipped, not the SPIRIT because you were
never loved as a child so you don't understand love or respect and
you never will.

Joy is in my heart and soul naturally. 
You can't understand that so you are jealous, resentful,
mean, critical, hateful and threatening to me.
Little things make me happy. You see no importance of little things
and mock my love of them. 

Hate dominates your heart. 
You show it everyday in all the little things you say and do.
You keep track of what you have done.
You think everyone owes you and you owe no one.
Everybody owes you.

Some of you favorite comments, statements, "suggestions", questions:
"Why don't you do something useful" 
"I don't see /understand the use of that."
"That is stupid"
"People are just stupid. They can't do anything for themselves."
"Other people don't do quality work, they rush through things
and do inferior poor jobs."
"That's a bunch of crap"
That's bullshit.
I don't believe it/that.
I can't believe it.


You are the center of the universe, demanding the full attention
of the world. You are the only important one who exists.
No one else matters. People are insigificant. Some of them
"don't deserve to eat". 
You lack self awareness, introspection.
You project your behavior, thoughts and feelings upon others,
accusing me and others of what you are thinking, feeling and doing.

You are impatient, pushy, forceful, demanding, mean, resentful,
hateful, argumentative, accusatory, threatening, lying,
cheating, stealing, vengeful, contradictory, unbalanced, unsteady,
ambivalent, unsure, unkind, fake, phony, lost, outer oriented,
critical, 

You drive a car too fast, quickly changing lanes and turning on the
directional turn signal too late or not at all, sometimes cutting off
other drivers, speeding/going too fast and constantly cursing at
other people driving saying they are stupid and don't know how
to drive, accusing them of being what you are: disrespectful and
rude. 

You are always looking to take advantage of someone or something
anywhere in any place or any situation.  Opportunistic.

You will work hard AND you will WHINE and COMPLAIN
about it. You complain about almost everything.
A 5 minute task or situation turns into 5 hours, 5 weeks, months
or even years. When a problem arises, a mistake or "bad" thing
happens, you must find someone to CRUCIFY (usually me,
the one closest to you) and perform your relentless character
assassination, your tyrannical rages typical of a narcisstic
dictator who believes they (YOU) are God himself or herself.
You believe you can do do wrong, rarely if ever admitting to a
mistake or truly apologizing because you repeat
the same behaviour of a true maniac each time any event
happens that you disagree with or think it wrong, according
to your opinion. On very rare occassions you will
say I am sorry then turn around at the next and any next future
oppportunity and say the same mean and rotten hateful
words to me and try to make me feel I am on trial, often for
something I did not do and had no part in

Your opinion is FACT, (in your mind only). 
Rationality is out of the question and is virtually impossible.
There is no such thing as a rational, logical discussion of any subject.
A legitimate discussion is impossible to have with you as
you persist on turning every thing into an argument, even 
when the other person you are talking to agrees with what you say.

Anyone you speak to or anyone you watch anywhere in the media
or in the world
must completely conform to your idea of what is "perfect"

They must be in total alliance/agreement with your beliefs, opinions,
attitudes, paradigm, expectations, wants, needs, desires,
preferences and perceptions
otherwise you call/deem them as stupid, an idiot, a moron, fucked up,
screwed up, a fuck up, can't do anything right, "a mess",
can't do anything right,
screw everything up,
hopeless, a freak, deserve to die, don't deserve to live,
don't know what they're doing, "you or they think they know it all",
you / (me) don't know what you're talking about, you /(me) don't know
anything, "you don't understand", "I can't understand", "should be
tied to a tree", should be shot, poisoned, beat up

You look for flaws, errors, something wrong in everyone and everything
in any place or situation.
You don't want solutions. 
You won't listen to anyone.
You won't take advice.
You literally believe you know it all.

You think you have all the answers.
You know what everyone else should be doing at all times.
You belive people/humans are the scourge of the world.
You only want to focus on the problem and continually
pound on it for hours, days, weeks, months and years on end,
running around in endless futile circles like a rat running on
a wheel in a cage, getting nowhere.