The way I used to be when I was a little girl up into my 20s.
1965. My Age 4. Molestation began by a 16 year old male named David Newman in Kansas City, MO who was the brother of the woman named Sue who was supposed to be babysitting me.
The quiet ones won't talk and tell what he did to her. At least that is what they think. Abusers think you won't talk and worse, they pretend like you will forget what they did to you. They even dismiss their actions as not being abusive even though they do this shit in secrecy, undercover, hiding their dreadful actions somewhere where no one else can see. In my case, David locked me in the shed in the backyard. He made fun of me when I ate, the way I "chewed my ice cream" as I sat at that kitchen table. He put me in that shed, closed the door..very dark in there.. and said "stay here i will be back" and I dreaded him coming back as I cowered in corner trying to hide myself so he couldn't see or find me . But he came back, every time. He would ask me "Where do you want it now? In the puss or in the mouth?" And I vomited. to this day the smell of semen makes me heave and vomit.
Until later on when they grow up, get older and wiser and reveal all. Like me. If they live long enough. If they don't kill themselves first. Or be murdered by the abuser.
I have a grand niece who is almost mute.
She is 15 years old and beautiful. Blonde, nice figure. At age 5 her grandma found out she was being sexually abused by a man who is close friends with her father. Nobody (the mother and father of the niece) wants grandma to talk to anyone and tell about the abuse this girl has suffered. The dad says "Just don't think about it or talk about it. It's no big deal," in regards to the things that have been done to his own daughter. He covers for the totally inappropriate actions of his friend, the molester. He runs the house like a tyrant dictator focusing on how hard he works how much money he spent and micromanages everyone in the house. His wife, mother of the 15 year old, is an alcoholic. She is now overweight, fat in the middle. She hurts. She was once the littlest cutest and very quiet little girl. Today she is outgoing and loud and drinks smokes cusses and works hard at her job. The night shift ..a way to avoid her husband who is an early morning day person. She puts up with his tyrannical abuse and control and even covers his bad actions and theft. Why? She is 53 years old now, mother of 3 of his children and feels obligated to pay homage to this dictator.. she has nowhere else to go, nothing else to do and is being the loyal faithful wife while he does whatever he wants to do. Lying about insurance claims, stealing and sabotaging cars, furniture, whatever he can do to get a buck. The money he is after.
One day Madison will talk. So far she remains silent and has been in and out of psychiatric mental health care professionals, been put on drugs to "sedate, calm, help" her. She has attempted suicide several times. She won't even give her own grandmother a hug due to fear of being touched.
