when i woke up this morning around 930 am i remembered carbon monoxoid poisoning from car exhaust fumes
wait until he is gone
put van in garage. lock cats outside. close gaps under inside garage door. close windows in garage.
place burial deed and prepaid cremation on the ledge by the stairs so he sees it
i failed at 17 when i slit my wrists with a razor blade at 8 months pregnant
i failed at 18 took a bottle of pills
failed again in my 30s taking pills
i was in the hot tub spa at the community center a few months ago and staring into the water thinking about drowning in it. the lifeguards wouldnt be able to revive me if i were on drugs that worked. it only takes 3 minutes to die without oxygen air. how long would i be underwater before someone noticed?
the bathtub at home would be best if i only had a sedative that was foolproof . i could be in the tub for an hour or more before he would even think about checking on me.
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