In the beginning they try to impress you. Eventually they don't give a fuck about you/me

 he/she will take you out to places, maybe try new and different things and pretend they are interested in things they don't care about

after time passes they don't care if you are there or not. 

you're always around. dependable. predictable. they aren't trying to impress you. they think you are committed to them.  there is no fear of losing you. then they simply do not care anymore. they aren't trying to impress. instead, criticism and avoidance takes over.

time spent together becomes misery instead of joy. plans are not made because they don't want to be obligated to any time frame where you might spend a few hours together alone.

dates don't exist anymore. 

they don't want to listen to you. they have heard all of what you have to say before and don't want to hear it again. he/she thinks they know what you are going to say and won't even spend 30 seconds listening to the last half of your sentence.

there is no excitement. no thrill. no fun. they are not glad to see me/you even after i have been gone 4 or more hours in a day. even when we haven't seen each other for 14 hours after he takes off and goes to archie missouri to visit his friend.

it tooks 2 weeks of separation during a freezing spell when i couldn't come home before he even missed me back in february 2021 or 2022. it was feb. 21 our wedding anniversay. missed with no celebration as usual. 

the new relationships, the exciting person they don't live with, the ones they don't see everyday are the people who will get more attention than the usual old boring mate/woman/female/wife/man/husband

being married or committed and loyal, always being there might be one of the worst things to do. human ways, society's methods may be wrong to practice things like cohabitation, commitment and marriage. any long term relationship seems to fade away. people take each other for granted. they don't give a fuck anymore.

i feel like a spot on the wall. an unlooked at and unappreciated picture. a common nobody who means nothing to him or anyone except maybe my grandson.

this treatment now after 33 years is not new.  the contempt, disgust, criticism and control began a little bit at a time shortly after one year of being together. i thought it would get better. it didn't. it got worse.

i wrongly assumed that if i only did the things he wanted me to do then he would be happy. well, i did most of the things i could do in the beginning and kept it up for many years. nothing made him happy. 

i have forfeited years of my life and hundreds of things i like to do, trapped myself in this room, got rid of lots of my things and just about become a cripple.