Nov. 14, 2019 Friday. He stood at the kitchen counter and said
"When was the last time I told you I love You? I guess I don't show affection often enough."
Then he hugged me gently, my back is hurting so bad as it always does,
 and looked into my eyes and said
"I love you.. I don't know what I'd do
without you. "

I have been so sick the last 3 weeks and looked and felt my/the absolute worst.
Greasy hair under a stocking cap, no makeup, as usual, body not smelling good
at all due to not showering for a week and sweating under the covers with a fever.
I stink of b.o. body odor. I am weak, tired, coughing, sneezing and not able to do
much of anything. I feel like death. I am ready to die. Might as well, can't do
anything.  I have been sleeping the majority of the day for weeks and think
this body may not be here much longer. I have no control. What can I do? Nothing.
Just die and everything will take care of itself. And it will. Life will go on
whether I am here in this body or not.

I will never ask him to promise me anything, never have asked him to do
such a ridiculous thing and would not tell him to promise me any type of
thing after I'm dead.

People's lives are up for grabs every second they breathe, anything could
happen at any moment and things change as they need to do according
to whatever the energy forces are happening at the moment so what
good is it to think you have control of someone or something now or forever..?
You don't.