Tuesday, October 31, 2023
Self Control is Number 1
Quit trying to control others
Concern myself with me
Observe others but do not get into them so much that I try to dictate what they are
Immediate freedom and relief
Do your own thing
To each his own
This is all easier said than done. Our nature is to teach what we learn for ourselves however the individual must learn for themselves through their own experiences. It cannot be learned and ingrained via osmosis like a blood transfer analogy.
Sunday, October 29, 2023
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CONTOL MY LIFE !
he yelled YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CONTOL MY LIFE !
I don't need someone around complaining all the time... I'd be better off alone !
and
YES, I agree
you have tried to control everything in my life and now is the time it has ENDED
A FOOLISH MAN treats a good woman like shit...
A FOOLISH MAN treats a good woman like shit
there are lines of guys out there waiting to get her
Saturday, October 28, 2023
Crying at price chopper grocery store last night
Started crying again . Shopping solo . Last hour in the store, still crying in self checkout lane. Then a bouncy ball appeared under the counter while my receipt was printing. I bent down picked up the pretty multi colored little ball on the floor put it in my waist fanny pack purse along with 3 pennies in the change tray.
Say it, a woman kept saying to the little girl in checkout across from me. The girl then came over and said can i have my bouncy ball? I said sure i didnt know it was yours i thought it came from heaven. Reminds me of my grandson i havent seen him in 6 months. I took the ball out of my purse and handed it to her. .. and my crying was evident then. The woman said give it back i said no keep it. I couldnt talk thru my choked up throat as i quickly put my bags in my cart and got out of the store before they could try to follow me.
I saw a mom with her little son when i first came into the store. She was pushing him in the kids grocery cart, yellow and red plastic with toy steering wheel. So cute. He was around 3 or 4 years old. I smiled at mom when she looked up and she smiled back. Beautiful dark haired lady and boy also had dark hair.
I noticed the kids carts as i entered the store as i always do and know i no longer have my grandson to shop with and put him into the cart. I think these kids are so cute and grow up and go away so fast and i wonder if the parents realize this yet. If they know how lucky they are to have their precious cargo for such a short while.
I suppose they dont know. Its likely to hit them hard when they get older and they are alone and dont have their babies around anymore. Or maybe its just me, people like me in my situation and have experienced so much loss of lives especially in the last few years. And i dont have an outside job or other planned activities to occupy my time. No social life, nothing better to do than think and remember and live with a person who acts like he hates me.
Those who are responsible take no responsibility and may not be aware of how devastating it is to me to take away the one person who truly loves me. Or they might be aware and deliberately do it because they enjoy their sheer torture tactics.
Life is living the real nightmare horror worse than any movie
Monsters are real humans close by among us
Many worse than an animal because humans are aware of what they do and enjoy torturing others, the difference being the animal acts and is probably not aware of himself therefore probably does not take pleasure in his heinous acts nor does he reflect upon them, save mementos treasures trophies tokens of his victims so he can relive the memories of what he has done , quite unlike the human animal being
Age 17 nightmare comedy tragedy masks while pregnant third trimester
December 1978
8 or 9 months along dreams while napping on the couch at sister in laws house on prospect
Nightmare woke me up frightened crying
Friday, October 27, 2023
Trying to be what i am not successfully killed me
Day person, diurnal. Am not
Working at things i am not suited for
Pleasing people that can never be pleased
In the wild i would have been dead long ago
Sickly in childhood and entire life
Only modern conveniences and food has kept my artificial life
Meaningless worthless realization
That is me
All work, any essence is nothing
You get your wish
Dead and gone from your life and memories
Thursday, October 26, 2023
Men i have known can...
Can say i love you then show hate thru actions and speech right away
Be horny not long after a fight, disagreement
Vicious at night before going to bed wake up showing me cartoons out of the funny papers next morning
Ignore me, tell me to shut up, go away then get pissed off when i am gone and act like they dont know why i stay away
Say stuff then claim they never said it
I was cute prettier back in the day like most younger girls are. Now ugly as ugly
So much so a guy would instantly try to lure me pick me up
Now a man still once in awhile drives by or sees me somewhere tries to pick me up. Doesnt know me. Doesnt really want to know me. Just use me then trash me. Some guys will hit on anything, they are just hard up. Want a hit and run.
Happened a week ago when i walked alone in my neighborhood 2 blocks away from my house. Black guy probably 40 ish in dark colored truck, i should have taken photo of the vehicle with my cell phone
Some guy calling me sweetheart making sure i was ok. I was completely clothed and wearing long coat so whats up with that? Just a man looking for opportunity?
So sometimes its the way youre dressed sometimes its not. Must depend on the internal mind of the man. Probably not based on looks alone. Area, circumstance, availability, location, activity
Creepy ones are the majority of picker uppers. (The ones i am not interested in which is 99.9 percent of what i see in this world).
I guess if the guy even looks at you it means hes wanting access to the womans sex. If he talks hes definitely going after it, the / her body. I dont think that way about males ..i have talked to a gazillion guys i would never have sex with
Fewer people at a time, less stuff, activities, things to do. More focus, more results
I get worn out easily as always if overwhelmed with too many people things and stuff at once
One client at a time. Dental college umkc. 2 patients per day
10 patients per week
Focus steady on work
Felt like I worked hard at a job all day long today
And just went to umkc dental college for exam at 1 pm
Ate food afterwards aroubd 4 to 5 pm, walked 30 minutes at sunnyside park. Home and exhausted. Up at 9 am didnt get to sleep til after 3 am
Tuesday, October 24, 2023
I sought. I learned. Seek and find.
Whatever I wanted to learn or have
I found whatever I wanted to learn or have/own.
Seeking one thing and also found its opposite in the process.
Found Both / Opposites
Abundance, lack
Love, hate
Happiness, sadness
Sex, coldness
Peace, War
Satiety, Hunger
Good conscience, Remorse
Fun, Dread
Hot, Cold
Friends, enemies
Auctions, bidding, estate sales, business, garage sales, selling
Profit, Loss
Credit excellence, bankruptcy
Health, Sickness
Kindness, Meanness
Stinginess, generosity
Charity, Greed
Hoarding, Mimimal
Laughter, Serious
Freedom, Trapped
Hyperactivity, Stillness idleness
Intelligent, Stupid
Queen dancer writer shrink closet
Cave tent home private
Then go public
Fame is only when publicized
As it is practised in private in the closet
In front of the mirror
Taped recorded printed
Distrihution
Masses
Never known stays at home to be no one
Monday, October 23, 2023
Is Intelligence memorizing information trivia
Memorzing things is often considered being smart or intelligent. Is that the one and only true sign of intelligence?
Fire S red black 7 sevens
Red black favorite colors. Love white but it shows every spot
blue yellow and orange glow in flames
Metal element Silver
Scorpio red and black
Aries red and white
Husband aries 3rd longest marriage chose him dont know why didnt get astro chart until about 7 years after i met him
Ashburn, audrey aries born march fav exc teacher active nicest
Burns, william expressed tremendous love dying words used to send love letters to me even though i was living with future husband big mistake
Knives cuts blood, burns, falls broken toe, skull fractures head, tailbone broken several times, ankles sprained many times, accidents be careful
Bonfires, barbecues, fireplace burning 32 years here, fp in home childhood until november 1977, my dads dodge van caught on fire burned to the ground, gas stove caught on fire lived 4 redwood ct belton missouri summer 1985,
Red in hair on my head
Very heavy clot bleeding menstruation september 7 1973 until march 2010 or 2011 menorraghia ..had a uterine ablasion procedure by dr herbert hodes gynecologist summer 2000 . One year later heavy bleeding returned
Trash caught on fire when i met first husband ed january 1981 while i was at work town & country market convenience store 350 hwy raytown missouri
Gas stove all burners accidentally turned on by a friend staying with us 7203 e 108th st ..i woke up my bedroom door was closed smelled gas very strong when i opened my door, something saved my and my son husband familys life because i awakened and did not light a cigarette like i usually did
Grandson picked up a piece of hot charcoal with his left hand when he was 3 at a park first time he didnt know what it was. 1st burn finger on stove burner right after i told him not to touch it it was hot
Virginity broken by scorpio male 2 years older than me january 1977. Big mistake.
Sunday, October 22, 2023
Is there such a thing as a person not having enough space?
My hoarder friends say they dont have enough space, time, things or money.
What are they really lacking?
A normal person is happy and wants to see others happy
A normal person is happy and wants to see others happy
NORMAL:
helpful giving kind laughing
joyous excited curious
dreamer creative diligent
ethical trusting honest
hopeful
ABNORMAL
(DEVOID WITHOUT THE FOLLOWING BEHAVIORS / FEELINGS)
anger envy pride jealousy envy mean suspicion suspicious attitude paranoia
not wanting to help anyone unless they get something out of it/transactional behavior
(you scratch my back then i will scratch yours)
deliberately makes me or anyone sad, unhappy, out of sorts, feel bad
Friday, October 20, 2023
Keep Yourself Looking Good. Don't Ever Let Anyone Put You Down........advice from grandma sarah
"Keep yourself looking good"
Don't ever let anyone put you down. .... They are just JEALOUS of you !!!
she would say..
Feeling good is top priority in order to look good. It requires more than just working, duties, eating healthy and merely physical stuff. It requires a balance in life. Enjoying things, being happy and SMILING alot. My aunt ruth used to say smile, that will make you look and feel better instantly.
Grandpa knew this so he would emphasize exercising and working but NOT having FUN. Grandma would say she liked to have fun ! She was very pretty cute and a dancer, fun loving to the max when he met her. She was 35 looked a lot younger. He was 25 and they fell in "love"
actually, thinking back on this it was likely LUST
and I did the same thing..... getting with the one i was sexually attracted to and hates to have fun .. he focuses on himself, exercise, hard working for his body/men's work and money but not being a nice person and enjoying much of anything
ASS HOLEs dont want their woman to SMILE and be Happy .. they want to make the female think she is nothing without him
and guess what..? I dont need his theirs or anyone elses shit to ruin my life and tell me how rotten it is and how IMPORTANT they think they are so they can PUT ME DOWN and try to make me feel bad
Old people sit around
and watch
and bitch, moan
criticize condemn
good way to jumpstart old age is to stop doing much of anything and
definitely quit doing fun things
they watch the news focusing on shit crap bad information
lack creativity
ideas of new stuff stops
regurgitate old worn out bullshit
reinforce how bad life is and how were all gonna die
never dance, spin, jump, quit climbing
stop others from doing any of those things
forgot how to be child like and instead act childish whining whimpering complaining
push fucked up beliefs about limitations upon themselves and other people animals, anything anyone
dont want to try anything new
dont want to listen to anything new
dont come up with new ideas
reject anything they havent already fixed their mind on
Likes and loves I have
Dancing, smoking, movement, flexibilty, fluidity of body and mind
swimming
coffee, tea, water
changing moving the furniture around
different decors
ideas, full of new ones and recount old ones
children babies fun open minded friendly people
swings
slides
parks
occult
dressing up in different outfits
going nude and barefoot
Popcorn. Love it. One of my favorite foods.
It's fun to make, fun to eat. Good for me/you.
lots of butter and some salt.
Thursday, October 19, 2023
Missing Grandma and the house cleaning we did.
I learned to clean about everything a person could have in a house.
Daily vacuuming. Dishes. Laundry. Dusting. Sweeping.
Yard work.
Mowing the grass.
Gardening, Grandpa's specialty.
Driveway and patio cleanup.
Animal (dog) cleanup and care.
Aunt Ruth
Great aunt Florence Ruth Spainhour. Single. Never married. No children. My moms moms sister, grandma sarah elizabeth spainhour dringman mitchell.
January 13, 1922 to november 9, 1999
PINK. Everything is pink. She loved that color. She did have other colors, white, blue, orange..however they were all pastels. Light. Delicate feminine things she loved.
1998 Summer she called me. I had to put her in a nursing home. Alzheimers disease. November 1999 she was gone. Passes away. Dead. Died.
I inherited all of her stuff. Hired movers. They unloaded all things in her one bedroom apartment took it to a storage unit. I worked at Storage Trust in summer of 1998. In an hour and a half movers were done including driving time.
Kept a few things which I still have at my house.
Scale to weigh myself. Nondigital, manual floor oval.
Dustmop that has a wooden broom handle, a pink mop attached; one of the best dustmops floor cleaners I have ever had.
Coin holder, a clear plastic dollar store type item.
Cup, plastic pink for the bathroom. Used to rinse mouth when brushing teeth.
Bags of dental floss, eye pads gauze
Small magnifying glass on keychain eye dr info stamped upon it.
Hurricane lamp. Had several more gave away.
Strawberry shortcake plastic cup mug used for laundry
Why someone makes fun of you. Pathetically cruel swine.
Jealous, envious
Ignorant
Do not understand what you say or do
Self righteous
Its pathetic. Remembering crying episodes, suicide plans and attempts, destroying and getting rid of my things all because some ignorant, hateful, mean and jealous people said and did cruel things to me.
The source, the evil person, i didnt consider. I took their words to heart not realizing that swine trample anyone and anything.
Wednesday, October 18, 2023
A man told me the pickiest men dont work on themselves
Hypercritical of women, looking for ms perfect, he does not work on building a better version of himself , instead finds fault with the woman he is with , orever nitpicking her to death and scrutinizing others but not himself.
An honest and observant man told me this earlier this year.
Free or costs money: Exercise movement fun at parks events or home
Free:
Walk around the block anywhere
Park farther away from door when shopping
Jog alone or with a dog
Run instead of walk
Walk instead of stand
Stand instead of sit
Sit instead of lay
Walk instead of drive
Bike instead of drive a car
Cook food at home
Dance at home
Clean house; floors, windows, laundry, cars,
Yard work
Sex alone or not
Fireworks displays
Money charged for:
Amusement parks
Carnivals, fairs, festivals
Bars, restaurants, clubs, eat and drink out
House cleaning
Sex prostitutes whores
Yard work, lawn care maintenance
Auto repairs
Zoo
Community center, Gym
The girl looks strikingly like his grandma did when she was young
the blonde female with 2 small children that a son of my mine seems to have an interest in
he used to strive to make me happy now he has focused on someone else
saying i rarely smile
so if he or anyone else was in my shoes they might react respond the same way
He cannot give me what I need or want. INVISIBLE things
Like ethics
compassion
morals
decency
politeness
love
honesty
humility
patience
No fixing character flaws. Pattern formation at birth and developed during childhood.
Once the pattern is formed in the person's character it is almost impossible to change.
I suspect the character and personality tendencies is already there at birth and then formed during infancy and early childhood.
The child observes and absorbs all people and things around them and develops their thinking patterns.
They learn to do what works for others around them, adults or other children, and will use these methods throughout their entire life.
Criminals and CASH
prefer cash
untraceable
no records
no accounting
can use for secret stuff they dont want anyone to know about or
buy anything they want without a trace
including food sex stolen or legitimate merchandise bribes
fast results, fast action
perfect for those without patience
Gone 1130 am to 415 pm he was oct 17 tuesday
Said im going out for a bit before leaving.
Later told me went to harbor freight and cave springs park talking to 89 year old man al who has worked at the park many years.
I was running low grade fever again started late last night. I slept late until 11 stayed home didnt go out until 930 pm for a solo walk around the neighborhood.
It took me 31 minutes to walk by myself at cave springs yesterday monday when i went with him. He waited in his truck. Had to stay in it a generator he picked up after repair was in the bed. Hed walked earlier that day got back home around 130 pm gone 2 hours.
Hes been not walking with me at that park for a couple of months now. Says he wants to walk fsster, get his heart rate up.
Tuesday, October 17, 2023
Monday, October 16, 2023
No amount of money can pay me for pain and anguish
Or pay anyone to erase memories, experiences or remove chronic physical or emotional pain.
Sunday, October 15, 2023
The ex still obsessed with playboy specific model patty mcguire
From adolescent teen years in the 70s he still lusts after same things people images places foid sex money coins all hobbies
Just like anyone and possibly everyone else as i still find the same things either attractive, repulsive or remain indifferent to
Pretty females: All males I am aware of want to look at cute girls
At what age does the male begin to stare at pretty females? I do not know.
They outright stare and glare or steal glances/looks at her
Movies, prints, ads, magazines, prints, photographs fill this need and desire perfectly
Media gives all of us permission to stare. We are taught not to stare at anyone in real life. It is considered rude, impolite, threatening to look at anyones face for longer than it takes to glance quickly.
Ignorant or poor do these things
Ignorance exists in all of us.
Poor is financially or mentally.
Eat or drink things bad for health of body
Do drugs or any other quick fix to feel good in excess
Believe false fake lies
Blindly follow
Ignore instinct and intuition
Look for answers outside of themselves
Trust evil people
Believe all answers are in one book
Repeat behaviors causing failure
Forget simple joys from childhood
Think confining, caging an animal or person is good
Think they will benefit by hurting and restraining someone else
Have false beliefs about control
Believe in karma
Think theres never enough to go around
Think they can gain by stealing from others. This includes material things and intangible things.
He was nice to me this morning. Hugging. Very unusual for him
For reasons unknown to me, he hubby, hugged me tried to kiss me on the cheek before he left to go to menards in raymore mo and true value hardware to buy plexiglass 24 x 32 inches. Glass is what he is using to repair broken missing window on our friend tonys step van.
Generally he is mean cold hateful. 2 days ago he told me shut up im trying to listen to this i dont want to listen to you right before tony and william showed up in step van tony uses for work vending snack route. After they got here he was rude again in front of them said go away quit talking youre distracting me.
I told him i would like hugs every day i hug people all the time, strangers included male or female children teens and adults.
And i pet animals often making friends with most of them.
Making note of hugging from him . I dont remember the last time he did that. Maybe i will note it again if he does it in the future.
Maybe theres a pattern, a reason why. If i note the date and consider other things happening concurrently i can discover the reason for odd behavior.
Saturday, October 14, 2023
Killers. Control freeks
Dahmer drugged and gave alcohol to his victims
Bundy bashed them in the head
Radir tied them up used gun
Berdella tied up injected tortured raped killed males
Some strangle watch victims face while dying losing breath of life
Some use slow torture and bring victim to near death repeatedly before the final kill
String them along, lure with fake charm, offer or force candy, food, drink, drugs, money, alcohol, gifts, favors, a ride, feigning own weakness to gain sympathy
control tactics, ownership desired, possession of another life
Immobilise immobilize zombie the victim for total control
Cowards weak minded wimp bullies do such things
What is the difference between a killer and a control freak who uses the same tactics but allows victims to live?
The only difference is they dont complete the act by committing murder. Instead they torture loved ones or hated ones continually while they are alive. They enjoy making and watching others suffer. It satisfies their warped need to dominate and control someone elses life be it human or animal.
From what I have experienced the control freak watches closely every move and every bite of food i or other beings take and likes to give just barely enough to allow survival to be sure i am or the animal is still hungry left wanting more. Stingy with food, time, money, love, companionship, material things, fun times are rare and clipped short every time. The perpetrator gorges himself , is extravagant with himself, greedy, and very picky about what he eats, owns, wears, drives and does. He carefully selects his own activities and refuses to do anything he doesnt want to do yet expects others to do his bidding and to do things not in their nature or things they are incapable of doing.
Drugs given to victims or perpretrators dont fix the problems
Especially when victim returns to the scene of the crime, most often the home environment which caused the problems in the first place
Prescribed prescription sedatives antipsychotics tranquilizers mood stabilizers relaxants sleep sleeping aid pills remedies
I end up doing things in the middle of the night or away from home
Like having dinner at 1 2 or 3 am
Working after midnight
Dishes, laundry, cleaning kitchen floor
Stuff you do when living with a crazy person
Controlling insane wont allow a person to focus or succeed
Constantly criticizing knocking off balance
Wont tolerate same treatment
Wont allow distractions yet distracts others
Wont allow me to focus on food, plays news or music i dont want to hear, reads things i told him i dont need him to read like sale items in print ads and conspiracy theories he says are reality
Had enough insanity for hundreds of lifetimes
Not sure if a sane person existed in my family
Or that i was ever married to or lived cohabitated with one
Friday, October 13, 2023
Not proud of me. Many family members are in this category. Most people anywhere are like this.
Embarassed of me
Dont want me around
Nice things does not equal nice person
A person owns things
Things are not the person
Some nice people own nice things. Some dont
Lots of mean people own nice things. Some dont.
Thursday, October 12, 2023
Your Habit of Pointing Out Other People's Fault Is Ruining Your Life
https://medium.com/@DrGregKushnick/your-habit-of-pointing-out-other-people-s-faults-is-ruining-your-life-9f4483b67190
Your Habit of Pointing Out Other People's Fault Is Ruining Your Life
Your Habit of Pointing Out Other People’s Faults Is Ruining Your Life
Dr. Greg Kushnick
7 min read
Dec 8, 2015
by Greg Kushnick, Psy.D., Manhattan Psychologist, Motivational Writer, Actionable Advice Lover, Creator of Vomo and Techealthiest
Do you like to point out what’s wrong with people or how stupid people are?
Do people bother you easily, to the point where you can’t stop yourself from sharing your judgments?
If this describes you, this habit is probably ruining your life. You just might not realize it.
The good news is that this type of self-harm is avoidable once you understand the price you pay for your comments and commit to more productive forms of complaining.
If you constantly point out other people’s problems, you are at serious risk of:
putting a limit on your happiness
creating or perpetuating depression
isolating yourself from your most important relationships
turning people off from wanting to get close to you
creating negative energy around you that generates bad luck
killing the cells in your body with your negativity
We all have sensitivities that are specific to our upbringing. It’s all comes down to whether you have a system of monitoring how and when you share what bothers you about people.
Your pet peeves color the way you see the world. They are part of the central framework you use to interpret other people’s actions.
The types of behaviors that get under our skin vary greatly from person to person. Some people can’t help but have a problem with everyone who chews with their mouth open. Other people police the world looking for pedestrians who walk too slowly, or who blast their youtube videos on public transportation.
In this post, I’m going to focus on the tendency to judge people who you decide lack intelligence. You can easily apply my recommendations to any pet peeve you have about other people.
Some people will see this post as a group of anger management tools. That’s fine…whatever helps you to take my recommendations seriously if you’re the type of person who has an addiction to pointing out other people’s faults.
The challenge I know I’m up against is that people who have a bad habit of judging others tend to be the most defensive people when it comes to recommendations for bettering their life. They tend to dismiss anything that recommends a change in viewpoint. I hope I can get through to those people as well.
Please pay special attention to the last recommendation, as it is by far the most important point.)
THE FAULT FINDING RADAR
The one with the fault finding radar is the unhappy person of the group. I promise you.
Often times, this person has admirable qualities that make others avoid challenging his or her judgments. He or she may be in a position of authority or have a ton of experience to back up his or her beliefs. It doesn’t matter. They are essentially shooting themselves in the foot with this habit.
The fault finding radar compels a person to constantly point out whats wrong with other people. It’s the ultimate recipe for misery.
Now you might be thinking that misery created the radar, as opposed to the reverse, and you’d probably be correct in thinking this.
4 REASONS WHY CONSTANT FAULT FINDING IS MAKING YOU UNHAPPY (AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT)
1. Pointing out what bothers you about people only worsens your deep-seated insecurities.
The habit of constantly pointing out people’s faults is most likely a reflection of what you’ve struggle with in childhood. It is a manifestation of an insecurity about the very things that you judge other people for most often. Some people who have difficulty taking responsibility for their own actions have a tendency to project onto others that with which they struggle. In fact, the avoidance of responsibility and a difficulty apologizing to people you’ve hurt are the trademarks of the constant fault finder.
Solution A: There are other ways to conquer your insecurities. Start by pointing out the good in people, including the smallest acts of wit and wisdom. The more you invest in recognizing the greatness (or intelligence) of others, the more this will translate into recognizing your own greatness (and intelligence.)
Solution B: If you can’t tell on your own, ask someone who knows you well whether you have difficulty apologizing when you hurt or offend others. The tendency to blame the world blinds people to how their actions affect other people. It’s a costly interpersonal blindspot. Work on taking responsibility for small things. See the value in apologizing as a way to clean up a mess.
2. Fault finding in others may be your way of attempting to master memories of an overly punitive parent.
Can you recall a parent or other influential relative who often pointed out everyone else’s problems or faults? I’m guessing that, if the answer is yes, you harbor some form of resentment toward this person, especially if you have memories of him or her being critical of you.
As far as I’m concerned, there’s no better way is there to overcome memories of an overly judgmental parent these recommendations:
Solution A: Move toward forgiveness of people who were overly critical of you in the past. Psychotherapy can help immensely with limiting the negative impact of the past on the present. There is absolutely no gain for you to hold on to resentment. Choosing not to forgive is like choosing sickness for yourself. Forgiveness sets you free. Strive to understand the value of forgiveness. Consider reading Forgiveness by Simon and Simon. It’s a game changer!
Solution B: Try to remember any positive qualities in your punitive relative, even if it’s hard to do. Most importantly, avoid showing the world how you inherited the tendency to judge others. Vow to judge other people less, and challenge your own judgments after you arrive at them. Judging is inevitable. It’s how repulsed you are by your own judgments that matters. See my post on judgment for a concrete technique to limit the negative impact of judgment on the mind and body.
3. Constant fault finding gives you a temporary ego boost and the illusion of superiority in the moment, but crashes your mood a few seconds later.
Not far from the way gossip works, judging another person gives you a rush in the moment, but the rush is soon replaced by unhappiness thereafter.
I love this quote about gossip by Eleanor Roosevelt (or Socrates depending on the source):
“Strong minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, weak minds discuss people.”
Solution A: The goal is to stop yourself from verbalizing your negative opinion even if you have the thought. Create a filter that decides which complaints are necessary and which should be left in your mind. It really does come down to the cliche, “If you don’t have something nice to say, keep it to yourself.”
Solution B: Too much concern with other peoples’ marital issues, bad habits, limitations or weaknesses is a sign that you must invest more in committing to your own personal goals. Try some of the recommendations from one of my favorite posts about committing to your own personal growth.
4. Frequent complaints about what other people say or do promotes depression.
Too much focus on what’s wrong with others can sour your mood in an instant. Depression pulls for either self-devaluation or finding fault with other people or the world as a whole.
Solution: While there are many degrees and manifestations of depression, one strategy for climbing out of the darkness is to practice gratitude. Make a list each morning of 5–10 reasons why you are grateful. Continue every morning with this. If you’re committed to this practice, you’ll see a difference…and you’ll find yourself judging people less, including people you deem to be unintelligent.
You can also practice various forms of gratitude on social media. Take a look at this post highlighting the importance of gratitude. For an interesting challenge, try posting each of these five forms of thankfulness on Facebook.
5. A tendency to point out other people’s faults destroys your curiosity and the cells in your body.
The tendency to see people in black and white terms with no middle ground often predicts excessive judgment of others. You see someone as either fine or scum, smart or stupid, pretty or ugly. This habit promotes a sense of isolation from others, unhappiness, and, most importantly, sickness. I have a theory that when your curiosity is closed down. case, you age faster.
Yes, if you need even more reason to stop pointing out other people’s faults, just know that bitterness kills. It probably promotes cancer and suppresses the immune system.
Solution: Even if you tend to naturally see people in a binary manner (e.g., good/bad or smart/dumb), push yourself to see and accept the many shades of people. One mistake, foolish act or asinine comment does not mean the entire person is unintelligent.
Respect the power of negativity, bitterness, and more specifically, the tendency to find fault in others to make your mind and body turn on itself. Show self-respect by avoiding something that is eating away at you, bit by bit, negative comment by negative comment.
Final Notes: Please note that I’m referring here to people who jump from one negative judgment about others’ intelligence to another. It is healthy and human to sometimes be critical of others. Also note that I haven’t talked much about the habit of constantly recognizing your own faults. Some of the solutions I’ve offered do apply to self-judgment, but I will address this at some point in a separate post.
Please feel free to comment or ask questions about my recommendations.
Originally published at www.techealthiest.com on December 9, 2015.
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Written by Dr. Greg Kushnick
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Innovative Manhattan Psychologist offering highly actionable mental health advice. Creator: Vomo (Quick Motivational Lessons) & Techealthiest (Happy Tech Blog)
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Searches related to Define a social misfit
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Social misfit definition in American English | Collins English Dictionary
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/social-misfit
Social misfit definition: a person who does not conform to others' views of what is normal or acceptable in society | Meaning, pronunciation, translations and examples in American English
What Is a Social Misfit? 9 Hidden Powers of Being One
https://powerofmisfits.com/personality/social-misfit-definition
Social misfit definition It is someone who feels that he or she doesn’t fit into society because of their views, values, or personality traits. It is a person who doesn’t belong to any particular social group. This is a non-conformist who stands out from the crowd.
Social Misfit Definition and Examples - LiveAbout
https://www.liveabout.com/what-is-a-social-misfit-1385137
Merriam-Webster's definition of social misfit is "a person who is different from other people and who does not seem to belong in a particular group or situation." This person chooses to be held apart from society in some way, as in rarely going out in public or refusing to have friends.
Have You Ever Felt Like a Misfit? | Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com/.../evolution-the-self/201910/have-you-ever-felt-misfit
Still, as one writer paying tribute to our individuality argues: “ [In a] society that wants us to give up the misfit identity and merge with the common consensus, being a misfit is a very good...
Misfit Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/misfit
noun mis· fit ˈmis-ËŒfit also ËŒmis-ˈfit Synonyms of misfit 1 : something that fits badly 2 : a person who is poorly adapted to a situation or environment social misfits Examples of misfit in a Sentence Recent Examples on the Web Clearview’s biggest problem was its misfit founders.
MISFIT | English meaning - Cambridge Dictionary
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/misfit
someone who is not suited to a situation or who is not accepted by other people because their behaviour is strange or unusual: I didn't really know anyone at the party, so I felt like a misfit. I was a bit of a social misfit at college because I didn't like going out at night. SMART Vocabulary: related words and phrases Different and difference
MISFIT | definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/misfit
noun [ C ] us / ˈmɪs.fɪt / uk / ˈmɪs.fɪt / Add to word list someone who is not suited to a situation or who is not accepted by other people because their behavior is strange or unusual: I didn't really know anyone at the party, so I felt like a misfit. I was kind of a social misfit in college because I didn't like going out at night.
Misfit - definition of misfit by The Free Dictionary
https://www.thefreedictionary.com/misfit
a person not suited in behaviour or attitude to a particular social environment something that does not fit or fits badly to fail to fit or be fitted Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged, 12th Edition 2014 © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2011, 2014
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