I have spent almost all of my birthdays alone for many years
my 50th birthday I was with my grandpa in Belton, Missouri
he took me to a bar where he played poker, one of the games he liked to play
it was someone else's bday party and it happened to be mine, too
I played some poker games and was doing quite well with luck then a very large obese
black man won the last game and took all of my chips
another birthday without my husband
this was 15 years ago July 7, 2011
the summer after I was forced to go cold turkey off cigarettes begininning December 2010 when the transmission went out in my van and I was stuck at home for 8 months with him
my last bday age 64 I spent at hyvee urgent care with bug bites all over me. I didn't spend any time with him. we did nothing. no celebration, no dinner, nothing
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