Learned about living with others, marriage, work, solo, peace, happiness.

 Learned.

Living or working with anyone ends up being sheer hell.

Marriage is not about love. It is about ownership, power struggles, fights, wars, battles, conflict, tension.

Happiness begins in myself. It is impossible to remain happy living or working with a miserable person.

Working with other people ends up in power struggles the same as a marriage or live in situation.

Live or work with a man and he is sexually frustrated all the time.

Live or work with a woman and it is a competition to see who is dominant, who gets the man/men or if she likes women, who gets the woman and has dominace in the situation and relationships.

Who gets the prize, the prestige, the power, honor, respect in any relationship anywhere?

Well, obviously it is not me. 

Most people want to make themselves happy at the expense of other people. Few people go out of their way to make anyone else happy. Lots of people enjoy instigating fights and worthless circular arguments in an attempt to push their importance and status upon others.

Most people want to be top dog vip important whether they verbally admit it or not.

People want attention and their are countless ways they go about getting it.

Any person can end up doing evil things if put into the right circumstance even if they have a pure nature. Evil as in lying, stealing, cheating, gambling, manipulating, gossiping, mental and physical harm of another being or harming themselves in an attempt to deal with the chronic abuse they have been coping with. 

Competition, contests are common amongst humans and animals. Even the most passive being is in some sort of competition or contest to win at something in their life. A masochist can feel powerful when in submission, a sadist when being dominant. 

Is it real power to be a martyr or a murderer? Why be either one? Why submit to punishment or punish others? What is the point? They are both losers.

Where is true power? Being yourself without involving others in your pain or pleasure? All that is wanting to be seen, heard and paid attention to by some person or other life form. The life we have is granted by the unknown universal energy / energies and will be taken away at any moment and it has nothing to do with being seen by the other forms it has created. 

Can I pleasure or hurt myself when I am alone? Absolutely. I please myself often when no one else is around. The only reason I ever hurt myself is because others have hurt me, they enjoy watching me suffer and I figured I would be better off dead or crippled. That is what they want. To see me hurt, cry and be miserable. It gives them pleasure. Sadistic humans are everywhere. Their two faced phony facades are tricky. If I hurt myself first in front of them maybe they won't have to do it themselves. 

I certainlty do not know and have not known anyone who goes out of their way to please me on a consistent basis without asking me for something in return. Demanding, expecting compliance with whatever they happen to want at the moment.