Enjoy your faculties while you have them.
Wednesday, October 2, 2019
Sunday, September 29, 2019
Severe burning back pain. Left lower side.
Severe burning back pain. Left lower side.
Bracing myself on entertainment center/stand while standing up now.
Exercises today using resistance bands stretching my legs, feeling
much pain, feeling and hearing vertebra crunch, pop, snap, crack.
Stretching feels good but bone pain never goes away.
Stronger muscles do not make back and leg pain go away.
Slept almost 6 hours last night from 12:30 to 6:30 am (first time in
I don't know how long).. laid in bed moving around and going to bathroom
back and forth until 9 am I finally got up and made breakfast, a rare thing I do.
Cooked from 9 am until 10:45 am when I finished the doing the dishes.
Made 1 pound of bacon, fried diced potatoes and peppers, 4 eggs and toast
for me and my husband.
He said ,"Thank you for making breakfast. I didn't have to go out."
He left at 11 am. I didn't ask where he was going.
Back pain was worse since I ate so I laid down on the heating pad
waiting for pain to go away. It didn't.
Around noon I finally fell asleep until 2:30 pm.
I heard him making some noise in the house so I knew he
was home.
Out of bed at 3 pm to
go #2 and #1 in bathroom.
Day continued as I spent most of my time in the bathroom until 7 pm.
Finally flushed the toilet, scrubbed it with spin'n'span so the smell
would go away. It rained all day so I didn't go out for a walk.
My back and legs are hurting.
I ache and long to move freely.
My vision is getting worse. I don't have an updated eye exam
for prescription "cyber glasses". last time I had an exam was 3
years ago at America's Contact and Eyeglasses. Still have the
glasses prescribed for distance, which I use more often now when driving.
Am currently using dollar tree $1 readers at 2.50 rating.
Things are blurry. This computer screen is blurry using these
one dollar reading glasses.
I managed to take a shower around 8 pm and very carefully
entered the tub and shaved my legs, holding on to the soap dish
in the enclosure while shaving, as I have done for many years.
Each body movement has to
be monitored slowly and carefully so I don't lose my balance
and slip and fall.
Nine pm ate leftover chicken thigh cooked 3 days ago and some
white rice with carrots, celery and cabbage. Soon after eating,
the back pain increased tremendously. I spent the next 3 hours
doing a few stretching exercises with resistance bands on my
feet/legs and arms and lying in the recliner chair in living room
while watching videos on tv chosen by and cast by my husband.
Back pain does not go away regardless of what I do.
Bracing myself on entertainment center/stand while standing up now.
Exercises today using resistance bands stretching my legs, feeling
much pain, feeling and hearing vertebra crunch, pop, snap, crack.
Stretching feels good but bone pain never goes away.
Stronger muscles do not make back and leg pain go away.
Slept almost 6 hours last night from 12:30 to 6:30 am (first time in
I don't know how long).. laid in bed moving around and going to bathroom
back and forth until 9 am I finally got up and made breakfast, a rare thing I do.
Cooked from 9 am until 10:45 am when I finished the doing the dishes.
Made 1 pound of bacon, fried diced potatoes and peppers, 4 eggs and toast
for me and my husband.
He said ,"Thank you for making breakfast. I didn't have to go out."
He left at 11 am. I didn't ask where he was going.
Back pain was worse since I ate so I laid down on the heating pad
waiting for pain to go away. It didn't.
Around noon I finally fell asleep until 2:30 pm.
I heard him making some noise in the house so I knew he
was home.
Out of bed at 3 pm to
go #2 and #1 in bathroom.
Day continued as I spent most of my time in the bathroom until 7 pm.
Finally flushed the toilet, scrubbed it with spin'n'span so the smell
would go away. It rained all day so I didn't go out for a walk.
My back and legs are hurting.
I ache and long to move freely.
My vision is getting worse. I don't have an updated eye exam
for prescription "cyber glasses". last time I had an exam was 3
years ago at America's Contact and Eyeglasses. Still have the
glasses prescribed for distance, which I use more often now when driving.
Am currently using dollar tree $1 readers at 2.50 rating.
Things are blurry. This computer screen is blurry using these
one dollar reading glasses.
I managed to take a shower around 8 pm and very carefully
entered the tub and shaved my legs, holding on to the soap dish
in the enclosure while shaving, as I have done for many years.
Each body movement has to
be monitored slowly and carefully so I don't lose my balance
and slip and fall.
Nine pm ate leftover chicken thigh cooked 3 days ago and some
white rice with carrots, celery and cabbage. Soon after eating,
the back pain increased tremendously. I spent the next 3 hours
doing a few stretching exercises with resistance bands on my
feet/legs and arms and lying in the recliner chair in living room
while watching videos on tv chosen by and cast by my husband.
Back pain does not go away regardless of what I do.
Wednesday, September 25, 2019
Narcissist wants to control everything and everyone in their environment.
They will complain daily of something, either about you, someone else
or the world in general.
They are very critical of everyone and everything in the world unless
that person or thing has matched some ideal they agree with.
The person who matched their ideal is often a stranger, one they
will never meet.
You will rarely receive a genuine compliment or statement of
appreciation of anything about you. If they do say they appreciate
something about you it will be followed by a long list during many days of
things they think are wrong about you.
You will be invalidated repeatedly regarding your self,
thoughts, dreams, wishes, desires, needs, goals.
You will be told you are worthless.
They question everything about you and never listen to the answers.
They ask you the same questions again and again as long as you are around them.
They never understand and frequently say "I can't understand ...'' ,
"I don't understand". "Why did so and so do that?"
Their goal: Keep you off balance, knock you off center, question everything you do
and invalidate your reality, deny your self and existence.
Your own thoughts, feelings, wants, needs,
desires do not exist unless they fit into their strategic chess like
game plan of control.
They view themselves as the one and only king; everyone else
is a pawn.
Everyone should be identical to them. Differences are not allowed.
Name calling, humiliation and threats are common daily activities.
"You're weird, you're strange."
"I don't know anybody else who (fill in the blank)."
"I don't know how you or anyone can eat this, drink that, like the smell of that,
enjoy doing that."
"I don't understand how you think." and "You just don't think right."
"That thing you like doing is stupid."
"I don't believe that."
"Why don't you do something useful around here?"
"You are sloppy. You just don't care."
"You're not careful."
"You don't pay attention."
"You don't listen (to me). You don't pay attention to what I say and what I want."
"What's wrong with you?"
"Are you stupid?!!"
"I am not stupid!!!!"
"I know what you're thinking..." (in fact most often they don't know)
"I know how people think. They're out to get you, to take advantage of you."
"You don't deserve that. They don't deserve that." (if it is something good)
"I don't want to hear it."
"Just shut up before I get pissed off and want to hit you."
Your happiness pisses them off.
They manage to waste your time explaining simple things of life so
you are so preoccupied explaining things to them you have no time
to do what you want or need to do.
You are exhausted because simple problems are never solved.
They don't want solutions, to solve problems. They want problems
to continue so they have control and can continue the fights
over meaningless, simple and useless things.
You are anxious because you never know when the next
angry outburst and attack is going to happen.
You remain confused.
You cannot concentrate.
"He loves me, he loves me not" is the daily norm.
You never know where you stand.
Their viewpoint of you changes like the wind.
If you do everything they say they want they change the rules
so that whatever you say or do is always wrong and never
good enough to suit them.
They will complain daily of something, either about you, someone else
or the world in general.
They are very critical of everyone and everything in the world unless
that person or thing has matched some ideal they agree with.
The person who matched their ideal is often a stranger, one they
will never meet.
You will rarely receive a genuine compliment or statement of
appreciation of anything about you. If they do say they appreciate
something about you it will be followed by a long list during many days of
things they think are wrong about you.
You will be invalidated repeatedly regarding your self,
thoughts, dreams, wishes, desires, needs, goals.
You will be told you are worthless.
They question everything about you and never listen to the answers.
They ask you the same questions again and again as long as you are around them.
They never understand and frequently say "I can't understand ...'' ,
"I don't understand". "Why did so and so do that?"
Their goal: Keep you off balance, knock you off center, question everything you do
and invalidate your reality, deny your self and existence.
Your own thoughts, feelings, wants, needs,
desires do not exist unless they fit into their strategic chess like
game plan of control.
They view themselves as the one and only king; everyone else
is a pawn.
Everyone should be identical to them. Differences are not allowed.
Name calling, humiliation and threats are common daily activities.
"You're weird, you're strange."
"I don't know anybody else who (fill in the blank)."
"I don't know how you or anyone can eat this, drink that, like the smell of that,
enjoy doing that."
"I don't understand how you think." and "You just don't think right."
"That thing you like doing is stupid."
"I don't believe that."
"Why don't you do something useful around here?"
"You are sloppy. You just don't care."
"You're not careful."
"You don't pay attention."
"You don't listen (to me). You don't pay attention to what I say and what I want."
"What's wrong with you?"
"Are you stupid?!!"
"I am not stupid!!!!"
"I know what you're thinking..." (in fact most often they don't know)
"I know how people think. They're out to get you, to take advantage of you."
"You don't deserve that. They don't deserve that." (if it is something good)
"I don't want to hear it."
"Just shut up before I get pissed off and want to hit you."
Your happiness pisses them off.
They manage to waste your time explaining simple things of life so
you are so preoccupied explaining things to them you have no time
to do what you want or need to do.
You are exhausted because simple problems are never solved.
They don't want solutions, to solve problems. They want problems
to continue so they have control and can continue the fights
over meaningless, simple and useless things.
You are anxious because you never know when the next
angry outburst and attack is going to happen.
You remain confused.
You cannot concentrate.
"He loves me, he loves me not" is the daily norm.
You never know where you stand.
Their viewpoint of you changes like the wind.
If you do everything they say they want they change the rules
so that whatever you say or do is always wrong and never
good enough to suit them.
Wednesday, September 11, 2019
Don't start a new project (ie: building something) or learning a new activity or game before bedtime or before you have to leave to go somewhere.
Don't start a new project (ie: building something) or learning a new activity or
game before bedtime or before you have to leave to go somewhere.
If you do, it will keep you awake and alert and make you not want
to stop what you are doing until you are finished.
This is easier said than done.
I have had insomnia for at least 47 years.
This might be one of the reasons why.
I discovered this while watching my grandson. He is 5. I am 58.
Wow, I am still learning things.
game before bedtime or before you have to leave to go somewhere.
If you do, it will keep you awake and alert and make you not want
to stop what you are doing until you are finished.
This is easier said than done.
I have had insomnia for at least 47 years.
This might be one of the reasons why.
I discovered this while watching my grandson. He is 5. I am 58.
Wow, I am still learning things.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)