Said behind closed doors for almost 30 years.

Said behind closed doors for almost 30 years.

Why do you have to talk so much? he asks frequently. 
What's wrong with you?
You have flawed taste in things like music. I hate rap and so should you.
I hate that crap. That is not music.

How can you get excited over the smallest things?
You just want to have fun all the time and be happy.
Nothing's ever easy.

You have to work hard to get anything done.
If you want something done right you have to do it yourself.
You can't trust the work other people do.
Other people's work is low quality and they don't give a damn.

Most people are stupid and can't figure out how to do things 
themselves. 
Most people are stupid.

Whatever it is, it is a scam designed to take your money. Referring to
any activity that includes having fun, feeling good and being happy.

I know what you are thinking.
I know how people are.

You can't trust anyone.
I watch other people all of the time and never sit down and look 
at myself and my own behavior.
When anything goes wrong, it is someone else's fault, someone
else is to blame.
It is never my fault.
That wouldn't have happened if you weren't so stupid.
What are you, "Stupid"!
Don't you ever think?
The neighbors might think blah blah blah, other people think this and that.
I don't want anyone to see you doing blah blah this or that thing.
You're not leaving the house dressed like that, are you?

I know how people are: nice to your face and turn around and stab you in the back.
You're too old to go to school (said when I was 30 years old).
You don't do anything around here. You do the dishes and laundry and
that's about it. You don' help me with anything. You never ask me if I
need any help.
You're worthless as a partner.
You don't respond in the way I expect you to.
That is not the response I was expecting.

You don't listen (therefore I have to repeat what I say over and over and over
on a daily basis because you are too stupid to get it, to understand what I
am saying.

If you want THAT you need to go live with somebody else. THAT being:
respect, appreciation, kindness, politeness, empathy, understanding.

Why don't you go live with: your mom, your dad, John Layson --you're just
like him--, Clayton, virtually anyone who is around in my life at the time.

That will not last, referring to a job I have or anything I am doing at the time.

I don't believe it.
I can't believe such and such and such in reference to a thing that already 
happened or a thing that could or might happen,

I doubt it.
You'll never.. fill in the blank.

All you do is complain (projecting his complaining upon me)
All you do is bitch. Bitching again!

Why don't you just shut the fuck up before I bust you in the face?

I've had enough of your shit.

I'm not too old to find somebody else. I've got another 20 years or so left..
I might live until I am 80 years old.

I'll find a woman who listens and does what I say.

That was a crazy movie, referring to "Barefoot in the Park", 
watched last week, October, 2020.
Why would anyone move into an apartment with a leaking roof
and broken things?  (The story was about a man and a woman
who had different personalities, just like me and him/husband.
She is beautiful, fun loving, free, a dancer like me and he is 
a stuffed shirt stick in the mud just like he is and he 
didn't get it.)

Why do always think you have to do something on your birthday?
If you want to do something you have to do it on your own.

That was a waste of my time. Said after leaving family gathering
at his sister's house on Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

Quit wasting my time!! he yelled at me when he was listening to
a presidential speech and x22 report on the internet and I attempted to
talk to him. 

Why do you always want to argue with me?

Why do yo do that? I would never do that.
How can you eat that? That's disgusting, it stinks, I would not eat that.

I don't like your personality.


You're such a mess.
He/she is such a mess.
Everything he does is a fucked up mess.

Why are you so cluttered?
I'm going to do something about it. I am going to start throwing things away.

I'm not going to put up with you. 

I'm not going to put up with that.

You need to do this.
You need to stop doing that.
He/she needs to do this and stop doing that.

I know exactly what everyone else needs to do (and I don't know
what I need to do and I don't need to work on myself)

Everyone is flawed except me.  I don't need to be fixed. I know 
what I am doing and where I spend my money. I don't waste money.

I don't need to hear "Pep talks" (motivational speakers who talk about
how you're thinking turns into reality)

It's all a bunch of crap (life, that is)

People are out to get you. 
People will take what they can get.

You should  take advantage of the situation.

I've had enough of your shit.

I don't care what you have to say.
I don't care what you want.
I am going to do what I want.

I don't need to hear your opinion.

I don't need to hear your analogies.
I don't need to hear your philosophy.

How can you do that?
I don't understand you.

You don't have anything to worry about. She is not pretty.
She is "scurvy". 

(Years ago) You've got back problems, all right but you've
really got is mental problems.

I can say and do anything I want because I have more money than you.

Oh, you like him, you want to have a relationship with him? *referring
to any male I talk to because we have common ground interests.

I haven't seen any changes in your life because you listen to "those
pep talks" and read those books.

You're careless.

You're sloppy.

You think you know everything.

It's not abnormal for a man to watch porn. Men like to look at pretty women.

I don't want anyone, especially the neighbors, looking at you
(yet I can look at anyone I want and make comments regardless of how you feel about it.)

I don't want you going to bars. You know what that leads to.

Gets extremely upset when I watch stories about serial killers and says
"It's about control".  

Why do you keep watching that? How many times have you watched that?
(He keeps watching the same things and listening to the same things and
doing the same things over and over every day as well)

You keep doing that and I will take the vcr away. 



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He sits with arms crossed over his chest at family gatherings.
He frowns often as people do, when he is disgusted, angry,
upset and miserable.

One of his favorite movies is The Grinch and he is the grinch.
This miser, never satisfied. Always wanting more. Not happy
with what he is and what he has. Thinks there is something and
someone better "out there". What he is and has is not good enough.

Chess, his favorite game. Played on computer by himself. Always trying to win.
Beat the computer. 

"Wonderful" . The same words used by my step grandpa when I told him
something happy and joyful. Said in a bland voice without joy. Why can't you be pleasant?
That is not pleasant. You are not pleasant to be around. Why don't you smile? Do you ever smile?

--------------------------------------------------

Translation: Why do you say things
I don't agree with and don't understand?

Why aren't you interested in and obsessed
with the same things I am interested in? 

Why don't you agree with everything I say?
How can you have interests different than mine? 

How dare you have a mind of your own.

Why can't you be as upset as I am,?
Why can't you just be as miserable as I am?
Why aren't you like me and constantly
aggravated, hostile, have a short fuse and blow up
like an atom bomb over the smallest and most useless thing?

How can you be happy and joyful with all of the terrible things
going on in the world? The weather, disasters, the stock market,


How can you accept others the way they are with all of their "flaws"
and be just as critical as I am about everyone except Donald Trump?

This is the belief pardigm/system of a pessimistic/ pissy mestic
person's personality that believes they are a "realist" with a
realistic view of life.

I don't know what you are thinking so I am going to guess and
project my own thinking upon you.

I don't know how people are, I know how I am and what I think
and what I do.

I know what you or he or she is thinking.