Speaking about myself (bipolar, depression, occassional mania, previous alcohol addiction, suicide attempts, thoughts, tendencies, perfectionism, anorexia.....) , my family members consisting of narcs, dictators, alcoholics, criminals, pedophiles, drug addicts, thieves, wife and children beaters and the one I live with and the majority of his family members who are paranoid schizophrenic narcissists and bullies I have endured . The first encounter with his family was being introduced to his Uncle Norman in May, 1987. Norman the schizophrenic hermit Raytown, Missouri.
My second husband of ten years was bullied by his family and step family and he became a bully, narc, porn sex addict, sugarholic, moneyholic, workaholic, thief, egomaniac, liar, plain ass hole according to his best friend who warned me in early 1981 before we got married. Of course I did not listen. Who does? 1992 february 4 divorce final. October 9, 1981 married. Met him January, 1981 at my job. I was a clerk cashier at a convenience store. He was a customer playing pinball machines in the back of the store.
It is a miracle, the grace of unknown forces of god that I am still alive. Frightening realities of places I have been, accidents and near accidents I have had cause me great anxiety, keep me up nights, cause hypervigilance and frequent deep thinking and crying spells.
I wonder why. I am curious about how. I never know when the next scary, stressful, freaky episode will happen.
I have no therapist, counsel, friend or any other type of person to discuss anything with. I am my own therapist, hanging on a fine thread of hopeful sanity. I am probably insane and dont know it.
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