Current situation: no friends . Excluded. Uninvited. Not welcome. Shunned. Left out.
All jobs I've had: no friends
High school: outcast, avoided
Grade and junior high now called middle school: left out, not invited, not included, never picked for games partners
Now I must have known about this definitely by the age of 10 or 11 when suicide started in my mind. I knew something was wrong with me and I shouldn't live or procreate.
No one wanted me to succeed at anything. I had desire, curiosity , willing to learn and work. All blocked, sabotaged. Keep me down. Keep me out of the loop, the group, the information, the news
Make it hard for me to eat. Accuse me of shit I didn't do. Accuse me of not doing my job and duties.
A real strange weirdo.
People hurry me up and out the door to get rid of me fast .
The males attracted to me were weird , married, taken, goofy, oddball, gawky, the unwanted.
Guys know their number on the scale of 1 to 10 and seek companionship with similar numbered females and secretly desire the number 10 females but think they can't have them so settle for what they think they can get.
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