The damage is done. Its permanent. I cant remove it or fix it but i could be there for him.
Father didnt want him. Has been abusive since day one.
My hindsight memories recall incidences that didnt make sense at the time.
Now i am wondering if more illicit things are under cover about to come out, to be revealed. His dad and moms apparent perfect life shattered, blown to bits.
Falling hard it is a long way down from the top of their high status seeking lifestyle. The money, house, cars, real estate, business, career. Expensive everything.
A few years ago he was using his keyboard and said if i ever end up in jail i would be happy playing this making music all day. I said dont say that, dont talk about being locked up. It could happen for reasons i dont know now.
I know he slapped him hard across the face when he was a baby. He admitted doing it once when he had just started walking. Baby would try to slap me when i was holding him, now i know why.
I saw him drop him on the bed from too high up. He held him high up above the mattress about 6 7 or 8 feet and let him drop on his back when he was 1 2 3 years old. He was taken to the doctor for one leg shorter than the other age 2 or 3.
He was age 3 we sat in my van in dollar tree at 89th and wornall parking lot and he kept saying what it feels like to be knocked down to the ground until he asked me to push him until he fell in my van. He cried and I said I am sorry i have never pushed you before and will never do it again then i hugged him and put him on my lap.
Saw him use size 13 foot shove him in the back knock him down when he was 5 6 7 in the kitchen studio garage. Saw him crouch over him hovering yelling too close in his face when he was 3 screaming i hate the way mommy treats you! Saw him punch him in the chest numerous times age 3 4 5 6 7 8 during meal time in the old and new studios, the kitchen, the dining room yelling EAT your food taco bell panda express and other food. He punched him in the chest when he came into his bed room to talk to his daddy on weekend mornings saturday and sunday i was there babysitting. Age 6 i saw him spanking him bare butt had pulled his pants down, on the master bed child yelling no daddy that hurts ! because he cut some of his own hair then he got a hair clipper shaver yelled at him you want a hair cut then he cut his hair short.
He reached his arm behind the drivers seat when child was 6 or 7 doubled up his fist and punched him hard in the leg yelled you dont kick my seats!
He threw the childs picture drawings in the fireplace burning them up yelling no you are not keeping them, they are trash! While child cried his eyes out no daddy no!
Dad yelled you are not using my printer you owe me a dollar for each page you wasted my card stock paper on those pictures you printed!
Child just asked me recently last time i had him if i would get him a printer so he wouldnt have to ask to use theirs and get in trouble. Its not the first time he asked me to get him a printer, hes done it for at least 4 years.
He chases him around uses wrestling hold like full nelson to lock him down so he cant move, says i am bigger than you, you think you can whoop somebody bigger youre stupid.
He tells the boy he is smarter, draws better, does everything better than him.
He pushes competitive sports and behavior upon him.
I saw him force the child age 7 or 8 or 9 to lift weights on bench press at home while yelling Dont talk, it makes you weak!
The child has begged me to stay with him for years. Age 6 he moved all his stuff out of his bedroom said i could have his room wanted me to live there. I said i cant take your room so he said you can stay in the loft. He told me he would be over at my house every night and everyday if i lived closer to him.
No comments:
Post a Comment