The wife is apparently not the best thing to be for me

 after being in the role (a predicament like jail)

since i was 17. i am 63. 46 years of futile effort

married to three different men (grown boys) 

it seems being the girlfriend would be a better choice indeed if i want to be respected loved appreciated adored desired treated like a queen

taken out given gifts attention time

as the girlfriend i can cut off the connection immediately when he is bad, never go back. no explaining. no me trying to make things right with a fixer upper male who will always be a turd toad

once married things have to be cut in two by law and is time consuming costly financially and emotionally draining