Social things
Family activities
Holidays
Outings and adventures
Bicycling
Dancing
Dining
Gatherings
Jobs suited for them
Pursue education
Thursday, August 31, 2023
I'm the best friend you will ever have.. my grandma Sarah said
Ringing true more and more each moment
Woke up yesterday regretting any mean thought or word i ever said
To anyone anywhere
Knowing we are all sensitive creatures
And if a person could hear all things said about them it would surely break their heart , forever unrepairable
Why are humans the meanest of alĺ creatures?
Crying is easy. I do it daily. Places have memories i cant forget. Missing my grandson so much, feel like nonstop crying
And it could be dangerous to drive
My soul has life sucked out of it
Little guy is gone
So much my life for 9 years now no contact
Enough to kill me
Maybe they want me dead
For love or money ?
Im about love first and extremely aware if money , the ckntrol exerted by people wuth money
Money money everywhere not a dime or penny to spend
Keep afloat on the tightrope
Found a small notebook pad from 2012 my diary writing
Yesterday.
Found a small memo pad notebook of journal writing i did. Will need to p
hotograph pages and post here. Would take way to much effort to type or write it all out again.
Documents some of what ive tolerated over the many 32 years over here.
Roller coaster boomerang
Wednesday, August 30, 2023
What are boring bored people attracted to?
might it be politics
solid stuff
solidarity
nonmoving objects
inanimate things
Tuesday, August 29, 2023
Monday, August 28, 2023
Sunday, August 27, 2023
Saturday, August 26, 2023
the vaters guy from way back when 1980s
"You're a FOX!" said constantly to me while staring at my face in class
drank tons of milk
would come over visit drink a lot of milk my grandma got upset because he did this
obsessed with lady gaga later in life
and obsessed with self genitalia
computer programming programmer
ginger i think was the previous girlfriends name
Friday, August 25, 2023
Thursday, August 24, 2023
Tuesday, August 22, 2023
No surgery yet
Left neurosurgeon office today. University health.
She said they don't do surgery on patients older than 20.
Need to see scoliosis surgeon at st Luke's
Or ku Kansas University
X-rays on cd didn't get burned from chiropractor office.
Have to get this done.
Father vs grandfather
Dad always willing to help. Never complained or preached should have stuff
Grandpa opposite he was money Mammon focused not spiritual religions at all
Monday, August 21, 2023
First writing in class at school. Description of How To Wash Dishes.
Age 12. I was twelve years old in the seventh grade.
Home Economics class.
Teacher said it was a very good description. She liked my writing.
funny how I have been writing and washing dishes for a very, very long time.
I think I was 9 or 10 years old when I actually began washing dishes in the kitchen at home in Belton, Missouri where I lived with my grandparents. Grandma had to do dishes every day and she had me helping in the kitchen cleaning up. She would wash them first then put them in the dishwasher using the hottest water possible. The water heater was set really high. Scalding water would burn my hands so I had to be really careful.
The diary I started when I was 9 or 10. My first diary. A green padded book with blank pages.
The blank pages are the most exciting thing to me from the very beginning.
Sunday, August 20, 2023
Saturday, August 19, 2023
Friday, August 18, 2023
Is it normal or natural to
Sit in a chair in a box most of the day watching images in a box
Being still during most waking hours
A male antagonizing a female instead of wanting to see her happy
Thursday, August 17, 2023
There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other." -- Douglas Everett
Your Daily Quotation:
"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other."
-- Douglas Everett
My mother and father
Mom a beauty queen worked as a maid. Lived in the ghetto/hood
Dad a millionaire genius lived in the ghetto hood
Wednesday, August 16, 2023
Age 5 likes I have. Still have
Desks. Writing. Pens pencils markers
Office supplies
Communication talking telephone
Recording of. All kinds..tv radio movie books magazines
Libraries
Schools
Spelling
Language.. English
Swimming
Dance. Freestyle tap ballet
Nocturnal eating
Up late
Don't like mornings can't stand any loud noises especially people talking in the morning
Art color coloring pages book paint painting
Music dance makes me move feeling good
Comfy clothes
Dress up different outfits
Barefoot
Sandals
Heat
Spinning around
Playgrounds and the equipment
Swings swinging
Flexibility and movement of my body
Coffee smell and taste
Pickles
Strawberry pie fav and pumpkin whipped cream
Love animals cats dogs
Teddy Bear
Stuffed animals
No contact sports
Solo sport gymnastics
Tuesday, August 15, 2023
Perfection desired when I was a child
Wait til you see a few pictures of me when I was a little girl...
My desire was to be perfect.... now where did that idea come from? Who, whom... Many, many "whoms" people influenced me.
"The Most Beautiful", a story I wrote when I was around 11, 12 or 13 years old...the little girl turning into a woman who sought after being IT.
My clothes had to BE perfect, matching, fitting, spotless and clean.
My fingernails and toenails perfectly flawless; I painted them a different color everyday for awhile..thought other people actually noticed this daily change... Looking back, I don't think anyone but me noticed.
My grades in school had to be straight A's. Never missing a question, never missing a beat, always on time...never ever late, perfect scores on all the tests. ACE it all is the plan/goal/desire/dream/objective.
Perfect grammar. Perfect punctuation. Perfect diction. Perfect spelling. Perfect speaking.
Perfect walk. Perfect talk. Perfect appearance.
Spotless. Clean. No germs. Sanitize body, clothes, bedding and entire house, yard and cars.
Know it all. Read every book ever written, every book to be written.
Memorize each detail of each scene, room, event, person, place, thing, plant, animal.
Cover all bases.
Do it all.
I live once and live every life ever lived.
Have to remember everything. Can't forget or am a failure.
Unlimited brain capacity.
Limitless learning.
If I can't achieve perfection then I must die.
(thoughtforms when going through this endless cycle that goes nowhere)
In the casket image: she/I look beautiful; perfect skin and hair and light makeup on eye lashes, face; fingernails painted perfectly ..which color..don't know yet...maybe all colors, a different one on each nail. And remember the toenails must look fabulous, also. Hairless legs and underarms and face... maybe even hairless arms. What the heck, just shave the whole body !
Make a mistake; break your face, bust the bones, break your back, neck, legs, arms..just smash every bone in that little body because you are a big unforgivable mess if you mess up anything anywhere with or without anyone.
Monday, August 14, 2023
Sunday, August 13, 2023
How I can not know who I am living with
How can it be that i can not know the person i have lived with for any amount of time, one day, one month, year or decades?
If i didnt know the person was only repeating words they heard and didnt generate original thoughts.. they appeared normal, common, ordinary..doing the right things, saying what is supposed to be said in any situation, doing what they thought they ought to do out of sheer fear that anyone would think they were strange, weird or abnormal.
They, specifically, he and the he before him make strong efforts to appear as part of the woodwork, not standing out , not calling attention to themselves, seeming to do right things out of duty and faux facades not because it is their genuine desire but
Alas to appear normal
And he is anything but normal.
Saturday, August 12, 2023
Not knowing what you are and have is being natural
Natural is it
It is attractive
To males/men
To females/women
Makes men turn into dogs towards me
Makes women jealous, if they are prone to it, and hate my guts, scared to death if their man even looks at me...
Interesting thing. I have never tried to use my ass, looks, any of that to get what I want
and that is the question that guy named Jeff Justice asked me many many years ago when I was working at Storage Trust... 1997-2000
'Have you ever used your looks to get what you want?" he asked.
I honestly did not understand why he would even think of asking me that.
Still blows my mind.
Skin : Butt Breast Ass Behind Rearend
"He will do anything I want if I show him my ass" I heard a woman say while in the line outside at food pantry church.
" I worked in a bar. Paid women money to show me their tits. I like the areola nipple. Always been fascinate with that" "A lot of them would just show me their tits, let me take a picture and not even take any money because they like to show off". Rick "C" said
"When I see an attractive woman all I want to know: Is she single and available (for sex)?" Rick "C" said
"It was your mom's ass that got me. She has a nice butt" Ed, ex
"Your ass is showing. You're not walking out the door like that!!!" Mike, husband
"You're sitting on your best asset" Alfred Hitchcock
"Turn around. Let me see your backside (butt, rear, ass)" Husband says every time I have an outfit, pair of shorts, jeans, pants, slacks, dress, skirt, swimsuit, any clothing style at all.
"I don't mean to scare you but did you know that man at the gas pump was taking pictures of your butt while you were moving things around in your van..." Cody, stranger meet at QT while I was arranging things and tossing things out of my vehicle.
"Turn around. Let me see you...." young man in neighborhood said when I was taking a walk with my grandson a few years ago. "You come by here at my house. I will make you feel like you're 27 again!" I was wearing regular old green shorts, nothing special.
Friday, August 11, 2023
Takes me 100 times longer to accomplish tasks when narc agitates, blocks, feigns confusion
all the questions not needing to be asked about what i am doing or going to do and
why i did this or that ... time wasted on repetitious answers not heard
SMILE though my back is breaking... tough one to do AND makes all the difference
when I smile at a stranger. No talking necessary
Thursday, August 10, 2023
I don't know if it is food allergies or house toxicity toxins
Or exactly what it is
Some thing makes me ill around here at home
WAY to destruction, Path of HELL unhappiness , HARD to clean the place
How to make your life a living HELL
path to destruction, hate, fighting, greed, sloth,
Fill up house home building garage work place car truck vehicle van
never open the windows or the blinds/shades
never have air flow throughout
cram the quarters with so much stuff it is difficult to get through, can't walk move spin or dance at all
sit in that chair, recliner or bed or couch or rocker and do nothing but WATCH stuff on the idiot box device
judge the mess of other peoples life/lives and don't clean up your own place
make it so difficult to clean it is a huge hours or weeks long project to get it cleaned up properlty
get heavy ass furniture that makes it almost impossible for most people to move out of the way when cleaning
cover floors with pads, rugs, carpets and insist on using vacuum for all instead of having easy to clean plain flat surface floors that can be cleaned with wet broom, damp cloth with bleach water like hospitals schools nursing homes any place of business used to really clean the floor
dusting takes forever with too much crap crammed in all over the place
==================================================================
Matthew 6:19-21
The scripture referred to is Matthew 6:19-21. In the King James Version of the Bible, the text reads: "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal"1. In the TLV version, the text reads: "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in or steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also"2.
Learn more:
1. wikipedia.org
2. bi
Devil demon diablo
doubt
deceit
destruction
dichotomy
no direction. .. scattered, no focus
confusion
drugs
dependence
death
die
defile
defame defamation
diabolical
dirty
distract distraction distracted
division
deter determent detriment detrimental
devoid
destroy
destroy confidence
devalue
denigrate
denounce
dubious
down
debilitating
dunce
dummy
double deal two timing lying cheating cold dead beating
i want to but i can't attitude
DO, always thinks I have to DO something to GET something
Wednesday, August 9, 2023
To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong." -- Joseph Chilton Pearce
Your Daily Quotation:
"To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong."
-- Joseph Chilton Pearce
Tuesday, August 8, 2023
He hides lots of things ...
hides and neglects to give me info
leaves at last minute
wont make plans in advance for much of anything
Help is all around me and so close and so far away
and an insecure bully
tries to block one from information, other people, friends, any type of aid or help or
counsel
but the network is all inter connected
he cant fight everyone even though he tries so hard ...
PERMANENT FIX
this is it... the one
the temporary little fixes do not work
temp such as going back and forth to a therapist psych counselor
and returning back to the landfill life
never works
you must change your playground home or else
life will remain the same
His nose is up trumps ass
maybe because he is just like him
he adores this guy
and all of his contradictions
pseudo power
intelligence
escapades
The Last Threat
has happened
no more tolerance from me
no more excuses
reasons from childhood
i feel so sorry for the upbringing
however i cannot fix a permanently broken child
who refuses to learn
decency and respect
He suspects something... has changed in me..
however that thing has always been me
I told him even if you kill me you can't steal my SPIRIT !!!!!
Iceberg Tip Little Talk Reveals the Character
and main personality of the person
if you or I just listen to what they focus on
what they say about other people
that is the fastest way to determine what you are dealing with
Do they actually care for the welfare of other people?
Or do they shun/shit on anyone with words and actions????
Do they do stuff out of kindness OR just for the money???
There is your answer...
Finally finding answers to long asked questions I have had about
identifying snakes
versus ...
It starts with Disrespect
the belligerent talk back hateful nasty attitude learned in childhood..
the small child is yelling throwing a fit at the parent and gets by with it learning they can get their way if they scream loud enough
and the child grows up to be a real ass hole bastard of a devil
learned to lie cheat force corrupt hate humiliate
subjagate and bully other people whenever anything doesnt go their way
stealing
beating up mentally and/or physically other people and animals
thinking they have power by torturing others
belligerent
adjective
warlike; given to waging war.
of warlike character; aggressively hostile; bellicose:
a belligerent tone.
SEE MORE
noun
a state or nation at war.
a member of the military forces of such a state.
Family is everywhere.....
spiritual family and
physically blood related family
many familiers are in this world
unbeknownst to some people that think they are contolling everything even the will and thoughts of another .....
SPIRIT IS THE POWER SOURCE
always and forever
unlike what he and so many others may believe, that money is the god ruler of all...
IT is the spirit
the god
the source
whatever name you choose to call it
IT cannot be stolen, captured contolled forced dominated subjagated subordinated
I miss ....
my grandson Damon
my little Wendy neighbor, butterfly
soooo many people that have left this plane in the body on earth...
I am one who wishes money didn't exist
I came to that conclusive desire way back when i was a teenager.
Observing the criminal behavior of man or woman human over money
Cemented the idea in my head.
I am the one who likes to see others happy and give and share what i can without expecting return. The need for money in order to live in this world is a pressing thought in my mind 24 hours a day. The result is being cautious in spending, extremely aware of activities, seizing opportunities to acquire free and cheap things needed (necessities), making some money in a variety of ways,
Monday, August 7, 2023
He needs to do something with his life, he yelled at me, I haven't seen him do anything over there.
Regarding the neighbor woman s son
I said I don't know what is wrong with him neither do you. Have you talked to him. No he answered.
I said she said I think his dad did something to him that's why he doesn't want to talk to anyone and be around people.
He has no idea what is wrong with the guy. Doesn't care. Said it doesn't matter what happened in the past I can see where his life is going. His mother is old going to die he's going to end up nowhere.
I think he's really talking about himself when he says someone is going nowhere and worthless and good for nothing. When he is feeling worthless he accuses others of it.
Chronically judgmental of any person anywhere and acts as if it's his right to determine what they should do at all times.
Accuses others of laziness and worthless ness often and considers anything worthless if he sees no
I remember Rosey Rosie Rose
She so sweet and fun and cute
John stillwell pissed all the time slamming her fun
He was a miserable wretch
Treating her like a slave
His brother mike does the same thing to his wife
Dead January 2022
I need to get a hold of Rosie
Sardines : Packed into the house
Some of us fill up the place with so much stuff it's hard to get around.
It does NOT have to be that way.
Sit down and shut up. LOOK and listen only: One of the worst things to teach anyone
encouraging submission and dominating someone with no two way communication or activity and
no interaction is a disastrous situation
Realizing, recognizing the problem is first step of solving it
If you don't think you're a problem then you continue to be one
Do more than belong, participate. Do more than care, help. Do more than believe, practice. Do more than be fair, be kind. Do more than forgive, forget. Do more than dream, work." -- William Arthur Ward
Your Daily Quotation:
"Do more than belong, participate. Do more than care, help. Do more than believe, practice. Do more than be fair, be kind. Do more than forgive, forget. Do more than dream, work."
-- William Arthur Ward
Too much causes anxiety
Too much stuff
too much talking
too much food
too much of anything
equals frustration.
Anxiety.
Sunday, August 6, 2023
If you don't know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere." -- Henry Kissinger
Your Daily Quotation:
"If you don't know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere."
-- Henry Kissinger
The Surprising Foods That Can Cut Years Off Your Life
https://frenzhub.com/the-surprising-foods-that-can-cut-years-off-your-life/
The Surprising Foods That Can Cut Years Off Your Life
confirming my food equals mood thought awareness many years ago
suspicion, idea, theory or whatever it might be called
I didn't have much imagination as a child
Such as making up stories
Fictional anything
I can tell a real "story" thing that happened
The only thing that camel Close to fiction were / are dreams I have when sleeping which seems real while I'm in the dream
Deep sleep happens while I nap for an hour or so, if I get a nap
Dreams happen during those naps , in the middle of night and upon awakening in morning be it anywhere from 5 am to noon as a regular schedule for sleep is not regular
I've read sleep study articles that say dream only happens during rem deep supposed ly after one has been asleep for a few hours
Saturday, August 5, 2023
Lights off. Cell phone only
Been falling asleep lately last couple of months
Left desk lamp on by bed was reading on the tablet, a book or tv left on once
So won't turn on desk lamp
Just look at this cell phone light
Fall off to sleep
4 pounds lost in 48 hour fast
Aug 3 -5 2023
Broke fast
Drank lots of water and some plain Folgers coffee and weak black tea
Are 2 leftover grilled chicken legs
then green olives about 20
Last cooked baby carrots, microwave 1 minute
20 minute slow walk tonight before eating is the only exercise in 2 days
Weak tired can't walk or move fast
You don't do anything around here!!
Except maybe the laundry and dishes
You eat a lot
You eat too much
You talk too much
You're stupid!!!
You're lazy !!
You think everything is supposed to be easy well it isn't you have to work at things and work hard push yourself push muscles
You need to tone up
Shut the fuck up
I don't want to hear it
Quit complaining
You can't understand
You think you know everything
It's not my fault!
If be better off by myself
Just leave! Leave me alone!
Michael Stillwell
Friday, August 4, 2023
He fell down into the toilet can't get out
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2017/12/23/conspiracy-theory-psychology/815121001/
Shut up when he or she says it
And it is one sign
Of abuser
No talking
I don't want to hear it
Then try to make me
Explain everything I am, think
Do
No more explaining
Absence speaks
Looks are everything only according to him
Looks are everything
And the only thing
According to him
Devil with green eyes
Snake
Rooster rules around stepping on me or anything else in his way
He does exactly what he wants when he wants
Opposite rules apply to me
Double standard
Hypocrite
Grandiose narc
Coward
Appearances rule
Mr perfect to the neighbors or any one else not living in this house
Lavendar like father son
https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/kansascity/name/james-lavender-obituary?id=4289467
https://www.truepeoplesearch.com/find/person/p92694r4008nu8ln208
Lavendar men
Old neighbor james steve or steven stephen
James shot himself in face with shot gun
Showed me the proper way to do it so you succeed and die
Instead of live thru it like he did
Steve gave me a ceramic angel to put above my door or anywhere for angelic protection he believed in
I just blend right in like a fragment inside a blender. Mixed in with all the rest.
Not stand out ish.
Not really different looking or acting.
Ordinary
Common
Plain
Definitely not one bit special or significant to the significant other spouse, current one or any previous one
dont mean a gd thing to him or any in the past present or possibly the future
Like a grain of sand on a beach.... plain drab miniscule not noticed
Meaningless
Just a temporary hole
Gone
You are natural. Said by Grandma Sarah
when a child I was so into the social group thing,
peers, aware of pressures around and thinking I ought to fit in
wondering what was I good at
what was my gift or blessing ?
since I didn't think I really had any special certain gift because someone is always better at me in any subject there is/was or will be...
and i wasn't the prettiest
or the smartest
or the best at anything anywhere
or prized by anyone
although i really admired lots of people, animals, plants, things and the world in general due my intense curiosity and astonishment at just about anything... wanting to learn and keep on doing it...
So I don't know if this is actually a gift or not. A curse or a blessing.
Is it true what she said?
she is not here anymore in this earth plane so I can't ask her what she meant as I so often did...
conversations with grandma were frequent, daily and so involved, intense because i really was trying to figure out life, understand what in the world I was supposed to do, who was I, who am I and who are all these people all around me and in the world at large.....why is this and and the other so special and highly regarded....
why are some disregarded, abused, even killed?
I still don't know for certain ..
You will never be alone. Said by my Grandma Sarah
one time in my driveway... she dropped by the house
visited outside
talked about family, my mother, her daughter, for one
and she said
"You will never be alone"
People build structures to worship, idolize, pray
and monuments
buildings
towers
places of worship
temples
kingdoms
castles
homes
any type of thing they make is fine
however the first place of worship is inside the self
regardless of where the body IS
"praying" is anwhere any place, time, moment
(pray in your own chamber.. what does this mean???)
the mind .. probably not contained withing the body...who knows for certain...generates stuff from somewhere anywhere or nowhere ..can't be pinpointed like a target and recreated in a lab/laboratory to do exactly the same thing each time upon experiments
Stereotype clumping categories
stereoptype clumping categories of people or any
futile..each being is unique combination of genetics environment influences upbringing activities
some are, do, can, will......... not all
each is regarding the one individual totally unique combination of the all
Understanding methods, efforts or lack of effort
In order to figure out life, what is going on, what to do, who to trust or not and all of the interesting stuff of life....
Easier to stereotype, put people in a box. Labels make it easier to find stuff, group things together.
Stigma, category, group, cult, sect, organization, division...
Patterns are what we look for ...and find them we do.
All or nothing, on or off, good or bad, black and white.... this type of thinking strictly limits and isolates any person, place, thing. Requires little thought or introspection.
A lack of awareness of the vastness of universes. The myriad of unlimited combinations of unique forms of the all.
Boxing people up, tying and padlocking the box can seem to make perfect sense to immature mind
It shows you or can't handle "IDK" " I don't know"
Understanding the unlimited limitless possiblities and combinations of any and all things and creatures in so mind boggling that I am not sure I completely understand it. However, I am sincerely trying to go on and enjoy life with its "mess" and total uncontrollable chaos. Unexpected random chance things occur without an apparent reason, cause, direction.
Like a cycle hurricane tsunami tornado ..spinning out of control by anyone .. Who knows who or what is going to end up anywhere at any time.
It is easy to shelf a thing or a person, it is more difficult to observe without judgment, attempts to control and dictate the individual or the group.
Desire is great. Finally knowing you have and can what you desire is it
Want in one hand
Receive in both hands more than expected
Thats synchronicity , god or whatever it is .. the all, for lack of an understandable name
Thank you Mr. Roberts
Gluten test for sensitivity
Aug 3 2023
Dr holman chiropractor told me they have tests for
Gluten can cause inflammation water retention
Once removed from diet inflammation stops then body release excess water etc and weight loss results
More good probably happens
I surmise a better feeling and happy person emerges when toxic allergens are removed
My brother jack used to tell me people had an allergy to alcohol then would crave it and it made them sick and sicker. They didnt know they are allergic .. many die from such allergies. Jack died from methadone overuse he became tolerant needed more. Former drug addict.
Mirrors show truth. My body is a wreck
Not obese however flaccid buttocks muscles, twisted hump back
Totally out of balance
Lopsided face and body
Crooked back, mouth, eyes, nose off kilter
Life burning desire, to live instead of exist as a zombie or comatose walking dead
Shrink fat cells not burn them at appropriate rate
Build tighten muscle
Lean
Strong mentally and physically
Exercise appropriate proper fit fitness
Food and liquid water intake
Types of food choices
Gut balance bacteria
Balance, minerals vitamins all matter composing cells
Homeostasis
Sanity
Moderation
Zero intake or participation in, avoidance of nonessential, non beneficial food, liquid, activities, experiences
Activities of choice for desired outcome
Avoid life damaging threatening negative
Elimination
Waste removal toxins exit system
Cleansing internal external
Wednesday, August 2, 2023
You're not that good looking dont have much going for you, cant do...comments
You're not that pretty
You look like a fat bag lady
You're stupid, gullible, naive...
You can't do that
It will never work
They only like you because you have a car
You're not smart enough
You're not capable
All kinds of derogatory statements from spouse or husband or partner or other people i have known such as uncle larry wilson who was as i am finding out reports from various sources a sex fiend molester of both boys girls males and females, raping my nephews brother nieces and tried to rape me but failed... i called to ask him about working in the office he said do you work under the table
Dead also loser bully drug addict john wilson constantly making fun of people angry fits beating people up whining begging
Interesting when they say that and try to have sex with me at any opportunity
You definitely could not pose as a model in Playboy magazine, said by uncle Larry
I was 16 years old
He proceeded to try to get me to perform oral sex on him then get on his lap at his house one time I was alone with him
I was petrified terrified began bawling my eyes out then my eldest brother showed up and rescued me from rape
Larry would make comments about my hips my ass size my breasts my waist my face anything about how I looked and attempt to undermine my appearance to make me feel less than
Tuesday, August 1, 2023
Lupus my sister Joyce has. I'm going to be checked for it
https://medlineplus.gov/genetics/condition/systemic-lupus-erythematosus/
Ana test
Told chiropractor 8-3-2023 he knew immediately what ana is
I skip the pancakes
and the cookies cake bread .... and go easy on the crackers
pasta noodles
and i am not missing out on anything
at all
Each person tears up what I do
current hub
last one and the one before that and my grandson destroying what i just cleaned up
hub undoes what i do
removes any item he doesnt like
will not allow me to put up a picture or a clock or any other item anywhere unless he wants it there
Thief watches to see if anyone is watching/looking
afraid of getting/being caught in the act
i saw an excellent example of this when my grandson was only 3 years old
right after he stuffed the toilet ...he knew it was wrong
came out of bathroom
stood in hall looking at me sideways with a grin on his face
looking bath and forth from the bath to my face to see if i was looking at him
How did I end up with so many criminal mind people?????
The big huge question.
cheaters
liars
thieves
abusers
control freaks
dictator
dominator
dishonest
fake phony false
deceitful
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