where in the hell did that idea come from?
underlying thoughts i had were always
i will not be with a man who is already rich, has lots of money...i want to be with a poor guy so we can build our life and riches together, if the all permits.. i don't want him or anyone to think i will get with someone just because of the money and things they have
and that is, in fact, true for me... i cannot make myself like or love anyone because of the material things they have
but living my entire life with poor bastards has not been fun
quite possibly the biggest effing mistake i ever made in my life
and i do know that a person who is financially rich is not necessarily the nicest, kindest, smartest or best candidate for anything. Neither is one who is poor in poverty
money doesn't guarantee ethics, maturity or any other good quality
what i ended up with is a long list of those i fell in love with who did not love me. Self centered men / immature boys who abused me mentally, emotionally and physically. They abuse anyone in their path so I can't take it personally.
however, the one who lives in the house with the mate such as i do is usually the one who is treated like shit the most by these types: narcissists, narcs, criminals, psychopaths, sociopaths or any other kind of path.
i learned that people are what they are, they are not what i would like them to be or what anyone thinks they can be, they are not nearly as good as i thought they were and they will remain as they are.
people don't change. not unless they personally see a need for it and make a full effort to change themselves consciously and subconsciously.
I have looked at their good qualities however few they have and overlooked the bad.
I wrongly believed love can make a bastard devil loving. But it won't. Ever.
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