Wednesday, March 5, 2025
Tuesday, March 4, 2025
Sly
Anything i need to do must be done on the sly around him otherwise i would starve to death
Shopping, gasoline, food, writing, reading, dancing, walking at parks or anywhere, malls, grocery, walmart, cvs, thrift, ebay, walgreens, doctor visits, phone talking
things that make me beautiful
freedom of mind and movement of my body
flexibility
creativity
basking in the sun
dancing anytime i feel like it
moving things around
walking shopping parks
photography
writing drawing sketching
interacting with nice people
eating great good food in peace
balance harmony
acceptance of the all
Saw people today while out shopping
A couple in love at best buy. man and woman employees. Dark haired male blonde female obvious he adored her. He wouldnt take his eyes off her. Showed her something on his phone. She watched it. Then they hugged embraced. How beautiful. A thing I wish I had.
Adorable little girl stretching around on the floor at checkout lane at walmart. That is like me exercising and dancing.
Smiling man door greeter at walmart. Last time i saw him he said i like that color of nail polish. It was a rosy metallic pinkish red.
Lovely lady dressed in pink swirl pattern pullover top black pants pink tennis shoes.
Gorgeous young lady very long black hair wavy below ears at victorias secret lees summit missouri. Helpful kind. Petite little. Told me i could find hosiery leggings thigh highs at dillards independence center.
Angry faced cussing he said fuck
old grey haired man twisted face of hate well built thick muscular body on cycle at the gym. I wonder if he realized how ugly he was being and that a nice body wont cut it as the only attraction to women.
Very nice lady working at goodwill thrift store lees summit. She helped me dump a huge box of clothes. She said i like your fingernails. I like that color. I said thank you, you made my day. I told her i bought the polish wet n wild fast dry at cvs a few days ago.
Cvs pharmacist lady very nice.
Seems like i am not supposed to talk about anybody yet everyone else can do it
and that is what I have done since i started talking
Monday, March 3, 2025
Guise of health selling products on some conspiracy news sites
they push selling lots of products to make money and prey on the fear of people
Sunday, March 2, 2025
Fixed in thinking and habits
Food remains same. No changes
Types of videos watched same
Music preferences same
Furniture stays in one place
Has sex same way most of the time
Changes in scenery location not liked
Movement of objects in house or business not liked unless he she does it
Sees no need to change things
Dislikes deep cleaning house bathroom kitchen garage bedroom basement because requires moving everything in room
Surface spot cleans isolated small areas
Upset easily if i change my hair
Upset if i change clothes esp when out not at home
Watches people closely esp those not living in house
Yes, Sarah" said in tone "I already know that" and "I don't need to hear it" condescending...have heard it many times from certain people
Mike says it often. John Layson said it in response to many things I said. They already "know" but really don't realize exactly what I am saying. In regards to any little thing I point out.
John has been dead almost 2 years now since May 9, 2023.
others I knew reacted the same way. Rick, a person I worked with at the flea market also reacted by throwing his business credit card at me when I told him he was racking up charges on it and expected me to pay it. along with all 3 of them running me ragged and ruining my credit back in 2008, 9, and 2010 is when I couldn't keep up anymore with paying bills they created
all of these people are obsessed with politics. zealots, in fact.
insignificant unimportant in real life and identifying themselves with "higher up" high status government and rulership
disregarding input from me and other females around them .. yet desiring the most perfect of women, the dream girl and not being attractive to women per se
hoarders, making messes often and some not cleaning up after themselves expecting me or someone else to do it
they believe having lots of material things and money is the way to be. stockpiling as much stuff as they can get. electronics stereo amplifiers speakers boom boxes, televisions, radios, the bigger and louder the better. this causes hearing damage and who knows what to their vision.
they eat any food they can get if it is fast and tastes good, disregarding how healthy it is. baked goods, pastries, candy, cookies, cake. artificially flavored and colored food and drinks coffee tea sweet drinks. fried.
constantly watching videos, tv shows, movies
filling their brains with world news and what everyone else is doing instead of paying strict attention what they are thinking and doing at each moment
Saturday, March 1, 2025
He was always there
and I did not realize it until now.
I found his handwritten letter from september 22, 1986.
I had left, gone somewhere don't remember where I was that day. I had left him because of his ways and I thought he didn't love me. I was wrong. Oh, so very wrong.
HE IS STILL THERE... watching. listening. waiting. and probably longing..
Friday, February 28, 2025
Back surgery wil be scheduled at Wasington University St Louis, Missouri in near future
February 26 2025 appointment with orthopedic surgeon bouloussa university health lakewood kansas city missouri
dr ordered dexa scan, ct scan, refer to wash u for surgery
made appointment yesterday for ct computerized t march 12 2025 2 pm
runaround phone calls to set up dexa bone density test have to wait until monday when woman will call me to make appointment. have to wait for results. if bone density too low will have to wait 6 months to have surgery. he said would give me calcium supplements if that is so. i dont want to wait until i am 65 to have this major surgery operation.
t12 and below vertebrae rods and screws on both sides
My parents grandparents were supportive strong
their teaching and models may be the only thing that keeps me going
Thursday, February 27, 2025
feb. 26 2025 again he said i havent seen him really mad or angry
so i said oh then tell me what angry really is
you will see blood he said
Outsmarting a stupid or crazy person is one of the hardest things to do
if you cant predict what they will do
you dont know all past behavior
and you dont know what all they do when not in your presence
you cant read their mind, dont know their plans
impulsive behavior is frequent which is unplanned
they fly off the handle
you walk on eggshells
Wednesday, February 26, 2025
HIS EYES LIGHT UP SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN. NOT ME. HE AVOIDS LOOKING AT ME.......AND USED TO LOVE TO SEE MY FACE
SO HE NOW SAYS ISNT SHE PRETTY TO AND ABOUT OTHERS NEVER ME.
WHY DOES HE WANT TO GO THE DOCTOR VISIT WITH ME TODAY????
ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON VIEWING MY XRAY RESULTS AND GOING TO TELL ME WHAT TO EXPECT AND WHAT OPTIONS I HAVE..
HE NEVER HAD ANY INTEREST IN MY HEALTH BEFORE SO WHY NOW ALL OF THE SUDDEN/????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
sudden fake feigned interest in my health after 33 years of ignoring me and denying me health care ??!!
WHAT ARE YOU SMILING AND SO HAPPY ABOUT??? HE ASKED ME A LONG TIME AGO.....
AND IT WAS A LITTLE THING LOTS OF SMALL STUFF I WAS SO GRATEFUL FOR..THINGS HE CAN NEVER SHOW ANY GRATITUDE FOR....
Grandma said insane jealousy is very common. Trash/trashy people are jealous and envious....
and would love to have what I have
Fruit trees I wanted. He never planted. Apple, peach, pear. Cost of fruit is higher than heck $2.00 lb or more pears, apples, peaches
30 years ago I began talking about having fruit trees planted in our yard. The trees would be flourishing now if he had have planted the right trees. Instead he has gone through planting worthless apple tree and some hybrid fruit cocktail tree both of which he dug up and got rid of because they produced little to nothing.
Change mind: Change location and playmates makes REAL changes
I can change my mind all I want ...until I change my location and the people I associate with I wont see real change.
Tuesday, February 25, 2025
can you spot 10 signs childish adult
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201603/can-you-spot-10-signs-childish-adult#:~:text=Signs%20of%20emotional%20childishness%20include,attention%2C%20or%20engage%20in%20bullying.
He does all of these childish things and acts like this daily. He is 63 years old. Almost 64.
Monday, February 24, 2025
age 15 16 so sweet i was cute
guys all after me then and for many years
girls hate me
i didnt know why
now still learning
I will dress the way I want
Not listen to him ever again
Many items he doesnt want me to wear including anything showing my figure and beauty
Corset. Belts. High heels. Sexy sandals boots.. stockings. Push up bras revealing my chest breasts in any fashion. Short shorts. Any revealing my rearend butt cheeks.
Crass, rude, rough, mean, selfish monster
vulgar, impolite, savage, sneaky sneaking around, corrupt, fake, phony,
HE IS terrible and was raised to be that way
There is NO changing him or teaching him
the only way is to be absent as much as possible and remain indifferent
be quiet and do not tell him any plans I have for anything
Walk away Smiling .. even though covered with shit smears !!!!
like Carrie in the movie..covered with pigs blood ..she was smiling and regained her power over all of the fools...
like game of thrones queens and princesses in all of the fairy tales...cinderella, snow white, sleeping beauty, alice in wonderland
I will still smile like the mona lisa even after living with dealing with these self centered narcos
Health issue causes explained/discovered
Chronic fatigue, exhaustion, autoimmune disorders: excema,
anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies, wanting to die,
ulcers, digestive system disruptions, inability to absorb nutrients from food
All due to living with frustrated angry dictatorial narc narcissist. Fearmonger. Monster.
The doctor did my blood tests and could not find reason for my sporadic fatigue. Test results look good.
They can't test for whatever it is that causes emotional upset due to chronic daily psychic, emotional, verbal, physical attacks, threats threatening behavior from abusive person.
IF I can master the art of observing and not absorbing then I can be happy, joyful like my true self.
Sunday, February 23, 2025
Man who doesnt listen to woman
hears her concerns calls them complaints
lives a miserable life
ends up alone and doesnt know why
acts like he lives alone
does not consider her needs wants feelings
is rude inconsiderate
Adjectives describing him
obtuse, incorrigible, selfish, rude, talks over me, rude, pushy, forceful, arrogant, prideful, disgusting, attracted to all things nasty bad negative dirty filthy pornographic defiling
hateful, mean, uses people, doesn't want to tip at restaurants, doesnt way to pay, cheapskate,
take over personality, cunning, sneaky, criminal, corrupt, territorial, thinks he knows it all and accuses me of being that way and all the other negative ways he is
scared frightened will not admit fear is angry all the time and wont cry like i do
has no consideration care of affect he has on me, inconsiderate
impatient, drives too fast like a maniac at times,
authoriarain, dictator, dictatorial, archie bunker type,
bully, name calling, calls other ugly stupid incapable
nobody can do the task or job as well as him
give no one else credit for anything good unless it is political like trump and those conspiracy news people
rash, impulsive, sporadic, spontaneous, moody,
prejudice, prejudiced,
inflexible, stubborn, stiff
spiteful, vengeful
easily influenced by peers when a child, teenager, young adult
experimented with gas gasoline sniffing, alcohol, smoking weed, cigarettes, different drugs
May 12, 2013 Mother's Day Card.
May 12, 2013 Mother's Day Card.
"From Your Son. Mom, I took a long, hard look at myself in the mirror
this morning, and I just thought I'd tell you... Nice job! Happy Mother's Day"
he wrote inside the card:
"Mom, You gave birth to a healthy baby boy 30 years ago who can look in the
mirror with pride and confidence. The memories I have about my childhood are
full of happiness. If I could go back and do it all over again, I would do it so I could
relive those wonderful moments. A mother may have a tendency to judge one's
performance based on the health, happiness and well-being of their child. I hope to be the
living testament reflection of your best characteristics. I am your proof that you were a
great mother and I wouldn't have traded you for the world. My Tear Drop (written next
to tear stain on card). Love, Clayton"
Restaurants I have worked at
Sambos 601 NW Blue Pkwy, Lee's Summit, MO 64063
and 9400 Blue Ridge Blvd, Kansas City, MO 64138
McDonalds Lee's Summit, MO
Shoneys 87th & Blue Ridge Blvd, Kansas City, MO
Joes Restaurant 11102 Blue Ridge Blvd, Kansas City, MO 64134
Waffle House Belton, MO
Saturday, February 22, 2025
Silence from victim is demanded from abuser
constantly looking for the quiet ones and telling her/him to keep quiet shut to fffkkk up dont tell anybody ..you better not say anything.. followed by threats of harm such as physical attacks on the victim or the ones the victims cares about and loves such as children pets family members
I cannot work with or around any straight man
hardly any men. only ones who are not attracted to me. there were a few who werent and that was only way i could work and not have to put up with childish behavior from starved lustful animals
worked with a guy walt was like him
this guy was a nervous frrking wreck perfectionist shaky . thiugjt he knew it all regarding work. couldnt work with anyone else constant complaining
had to turn every job into an ordeal of insane misery
wouldnt leave me alone begging for sex a childush immature porni lover who spited me when i quit working with him painting houses by writing my name and phone number in sex booth at adult vid store in grandview missouri
he told me i would marry you in a new york minute
I am out of shape not toned thanks to him restricting my activities at home
he takes over things i can do myself
like sweeping vacuuming dishes floor care grocery shopping
and he is a spot cleaner never deep cleaning
Never bend over, wear tight fitting or see thru clothes around him
never bounce, exercise like yoga or stretching,
no dancing, movement at all
remain like a stiff statue dressed in baggy clothes or mens clothing
Friday, February 21, 2025
Biggest mistake. Living with wrong people
very biggest mistakes i ever made in my life is always related to misery heartache failure caused by living with people that dont match my love intellect enthusiasm joy zest passion
He falls for some scams.
Like the top heaters he just bought. An ad infomercial he saw. He also sends money to alex jones and mike lindell and god knows who else. He will not listen to any information/truth about these people and fiercely defends them and their supposedly altruistic causes.
No person. No doctor is going to help or fix him
I live with this. No one else experiences it. Master of changing his faces rapidly. I am sure I havent seen them all.
He expects the worst in literally everything. Negative, doubtful, suspicious. Says "It's a scam. I don't believe it. I can't understand. You will never be able to do that. That won't work. It's impossible. "
Then he falls for scams....
Thursday, February 20, 2025
He is annoyed/annoying in most every way each day
frustrated, oppositional. Denies anything wrong with him. Projects his behavior upon me. Blames me for his bad attitude, anger, temper tantrums.
He thinks he has to get back home before dark>>>always
when i say there are 24 hours in the day
lots of people are active all through the evening
you dont have to do everything during daylight when sun is up
Old people and the news
some have nothing else to do but listen to news watch media on tv or internet
i have seen many friends and family members end up sitting around watching news and tv and eventually they are dead
complaining, judging, fearful, inactive dont live their own life but live it through the media
how terrible
Wednesday, February 19, 2025
Colored my hair today. Light ash brown. Took hot bath. So relaxing.
Haven't used hair coloring in years. A little grey is now not there.
Fool is revealed by
7 deadly sins
pride, arrogance,vanity, false appearance,
avarice, greed, takes anything they can get and more
wrath, anger, easily gets mad over little things,drives too fast,impatient
lust
envy
gluttony
sloth
lies, does not reveal truth, hides information, covers up things
wants to look good in public, a demon at home to wife/husband/family
Dress drab when I leave. Reveal a little skin when I am out ONLY
never let him see my legs, rear, breasts again
Marjorie Mae Stillwell (Rutherford) Nov 29, 1915 to March 6, 2008 HIS MOTHER
https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/61127254/marjorie-mae-stillwell
Marjorie Mae Rutherford Stillwell
https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/61127254/marjorie-mae-stillwell
Birth
29 Nov 1915
Madison, Greenwood County, Kansas, USA
Death
6 Mar 2008 (aged 92)
Burial
Blue Springs Cemetery
Blue Springs, Jackson County, Missouri, USA
Memorial ID
61127254 · View Source
Sponsor this memorial with an exclusive premium layout and no ads.
Sponsor this page
Marjorie Rutherford, age 26 of Kansas City, Jackson County, Missouri married Olney Joseph Stillwell, age 30 of Little Blue, Jackson County, Missouri on April 25, 1942 in Jackson County, MO.
Jackson County, Missouri marriage certificate #1942I0027953.
Mae Marjorie Stillwell, age 44 married Olney J. Stillwell, age 49 both of Blue Springs, Jackson County, Missouri on May 16, 1960 in Jackson County, MO.
Jackson County, Missouri marriage certificate #1960I0039433
Noah Moses Rutherford
1889–1933
Florence Lavina Mooney Rutherford
1892–1962
Siblings
Mildred Lavina Rutherford Cornwell
1913–2004
Rose J Rutherford Cathcard
1919–2020
Half Siblings
Samuel Wilson Rutherford
1914–2004
Norman N. Rutherford
1922–2004
William H Rutherford
1926–1990
Children
Sandra Rose Stillwell Brown
1944–1998
Carol Jean Stillwell
1950–2001
My calm calmness turns him into a bomb. He likes to see me upset, angry, unhappy, miserable. Makes him feel powerful
then he accuses me of acting the same way he acts.
Tuesday, February 18, 2025
always wants to know what i am doing and i am not supposed to know what he does all the time. same story as 30 years ago
he wants complete freedom while restricting mine
Gets violently upset when I ask a question about what he is doing yet asks me constantly what I am doing
just threw a nasty fit because he wanted to print a return shipping label using my printer, the only one in the house and said he is using cell phone which is tied to his yahoo email
and cant stand having to sign into google email account using his computer instead
and the label is to return hoodies he bought from alex jones website that say infowars on it
so he doesnt want me to know he is donating money to the clown which he thinks if freeaking god in human form because the guy spends 3 1/2 hours a day fighting for the right things
and i do know he donates to mike lindell fund
says he will give them money and wants to get something in return for it
he is nasty as hell to me hateful mean arrogant
i suggested getting another printer that uses the same cartridges as mine so we will have 2 printers and he can print what he want with the other one and not have to bother me
Lolita movie is great and he has done things similar to the guy in the movie
once i came home from a walk. the neighbor gave me a few cans of beer. he went off and strangled me. he was outraged angry not talking communicating in words .he acted like a savage animal beast to me and later said he thinks someone would take advantage of me if i had any alcohol, which is not true at all anymore as i can hold my own contain myself even if i were inebriated
the man in lolita slapped the girl across the face because he saw her talking to a man . of course she ran off and cried. her youth beauty has power over men and simply talking to one would make him think she was available .
exactly the way he thinks. he says i shouldnt talk to anyone. but i do. i talk to most everyone men women children teens anywhere i am. it only means i am friendly has nothing to with sex. he is an idiot
He is fixed rigid and ground hog day making same mistakes over and over again
Reluctant to try really new things. The only new things he likes to look at are in the media or anywhere such as new different girls women females that look cute. What would he actually DO if he was around these women in person???? Wahlah..the same thing he does to me.. try to shut them up and treat them like a sex doll)
Sticks firmly to familiar items foods activities.
Plays same game daily CHESS. only one game as far as I know
Wont play any games with me like board games. Wont play outdoor activities.
got rid of my bicycle because he demands he sets the seat up too high for me. I could fall off and break my leg or neck with the way he would set it
anytime i do dance or move or sees my body he misinterprets me as being horny when i am not
Rigid as hell
BAF boring as fkkk
CAF confused as fffk
Same old groundhog day shiiit
doesn't want ideas or solutions
continues to think and do things same old way causing
endless frustration anger agony and sheer hell
constantly watches weather and fights it when simple solutions are at hand such as proper insulation in the house and dressing appropriately and aerobic activities such as dancing)
cant enjoy much of anything or have fun
sees anyone happy especially me and throws monkey wrench into it because he is stuck in the toilet hole sewer mind thinking and cant get out of it
so my option is to be STOIC remain silent offer no new suggestions
(his ideal woman/women look like a doll and cant talk speak have no brain or real personality)
which are things I constantly do and he doesnt want to hear it
he refuses the idea of moving into another house home or anywhere
thinks he is stuck in one place
keeps his furniture stuck in one place
I TRY desperately to no avail to make him realize he has CHOICES and options and he is resilient to most things I say or do
Monday, February 17, 2025
Patience. A quality i am told I have by many people for many years.....
I can wait.
for long periods...years and years.
Shown in my thoughts, understanding and actions. I am almost always willing to wait. Watch. The best things comes when I wait for the high quality results.
I drive slow. I am never in a hurry.
I allow the child, person, male or female or animal to learn for himself. I don't step in their way and do it for them.
I like long hot slow baths..prefer it over showers in the tub.
I prepare good food and wait for it to be done.
I eat slow.
I often move slow when walking.
I want to absorb the scenery fully one bit at a time.
Digesting things slowly, comfortably, easily.
I am understanding, considerate, kind, loving, warm, friendly.
I never push people or rush them.
All these things about me showing my patience irritate my husband to the max as he is directly opposite of me. He is one who expects instant results on almost everything. He cant wait to eat, to see a thing move. He takes over a situation and will not allow me or the cat or anyone time to learn for themselves, to do anything. He grabs things out of my hand. He is pushy, prideful, arrogant, fearful, angry, mean, and basically immature in lots of things. An aggressive driver, drives too fast. When he wants a thing he wants it RIGHT now and loses his temper throwing tantrums when instant results do not happen. He lacks basic understanding of the growth of things, the time it takes to have any item. Fast action is his personality. Rude, insulting. Me first attitude. A manchild, a little baby toddler in an adult body age 63 years old. He is absorbed in current world news political events as it gives him constant supply of actions by other people going on. He is not instrospective, does not meditate, hate to look in the mirror at himself. He buys ready to drink beverages and food most of the time as he does not want to wait and go through the effort to fix his own tea or snacks.
Sunday, February 16, 2025
Saturday, February 15, 2025
i will look better losing 5 more pounds
then i will weigh 120
or get to 118 lbs even better
maybe i will have bone thin skinny legs
instead if fat thighs and fat ass
when i was 18 i starved myself down to 104 to 108
and i was flat chested as heck had men after me constantly. they love skinny little girls
3 hrs later back
came from grandview rd south from
unloaded box from trunk of his car
not sure what yet
guessing he came from grandview mo
probably went to walk at cave springs park first then to aldis bread store maybe price chopper likely bought more sweets junk food
this tells me his meetup lives skc grandview area
dont know if its new person or just one of many
i need a PI
he usually comes back with stuff he bought somewhere to make his outings look legit
whereas i will go out and window shop for exercise
And so the thoughts I projected in the 1980s came upon me. I recognized him immediately....Fooled I was and for many years
may 1987 i met this person and he was IT
my subconscious knew that was what i was drawn to
image in physical body matched. persona matched. underlying goal after i realized all men wanted was sex i had decided if i wanted a relationship and one that i would be attracted to for years he had to be one i was physically attracted to
and that matched
little did i know he had a ton of characteristics in my subconscious mind that at first i was not aware of
now the realizations are here and popping up more and more as i find out more open and hidden stuff about him..
surely there is even more buried down inside his complex persoanlity which has multiple ones. i still dont know all of the many sides of his face/head/character
devil appears nice and good looking and polite in public and to neighbors. to me and close family shows the shittiest sides of all, the control doubts fear skepticism meanness criticism contempt hatred humiliation perversion
twisted thinking hypocrisy shaking trembling hands fingers arms fist body .. desire for power
4 pm he storms out the door and takes off in his car 2000 toyota corolla dark blue
doesnt say a word about where he is going
"i gotta get out of here" is all he said
after he sat for hours on his laptop computer headphones on listening to god knows what
he just shot a dog in our backyard with a pellet gun. wonder what he does seeing a nude woman outside or anywhere else..
not the first time he shot an animal.
several cats and dogs he shot before that were around here
he killed a deer one time with 22 across street in sharons yard. he sd didnt want it in his garden
i wonder what he does when he sees a naked nude or skimpily clad woman in public..like the one he said he saw off 40 hwy from the strip bar .. would he shoot her, too or draw her close to him? would he give her advice, offer her a piece of clothing or a coat or blanket to cover herself up? would he get her phone number? i really dont know for sure...yet what he did
why does he heat the garage up? what is out there so important to keep warm??????
he spends lots of money on propane to burn heating up the garage
and wont insulate the doors or windows properly
nuts
Friday, February 14, 2025
Liar he is. Writes nice things on greeting cards for holdays. Acts directly opposite of what he says on a daily basis
says i want you to be happy then does about anything he can to make me miserable constantly
wont participate in any activity that i like if he doesnt like to do it
never fixes me food that only i like
it is like a little crumb piece of bait he throws out once in awhile to string me along ..for what?
what purpose do i serve for him?
me. the loyal reliable one shops cooks cleans laundry and i used to be ready and available just about anytime for the intimate act but not anymore. his vile ways nasty mean rotten abusive ways turn me completely off.
He can appear to have it all yet seek out others...
like the 40 something preacher at the baptist church i went to for 8 years.
he who proclaimed to love his wife of 14 years then it was found out mingling with the young ladies in the group. who knows how many he did it with
last i knew in february 2019 he was with the last female conquest, the quiet 23 year old dark haired beauty who had a nice tight body even tho she had cerebral palsy and could hardly walk
he lost his career for life permanently banned from preaching the gospel due to church rules
all for the golden you know what
===================
the 40 something relative of mine with the perfect wife, son, household, big house about 5000 square feet, tons of money and investments and what does he do? gets a 25 yr old 100 lb female who is now 27, who can squirt on video for money
=======================
same story worldwide for countless eons 1000s of years... can you or i or anyone really trust a man? or a woman? most often it is the male seeking out something "different" he is never satisfied with the woman he has regardless of how "perfect" she looks and is and what she does for him.
Thursday, February 13, 2025
other people tell me good things about me. not him
others say i am beautiful smart intelligent creative understanding capable
he shits on everything about me criticising cut downs daily
rarely does he say anything nice complimentary/compliments/appreciation
history shows successions
my life reveals i met people who know each other
and a connection is there amongst all
that 5 rule of people who all are connected know someone you know
circles of acquaintances
layson, jr huell bracher. tony, darin, chuck, jeri, kirk,
driver dave at carquest auto lives behind layson
Life is shit. he is the toilet
flower stomper
butterfly crusher
joyless coward
fearmonger, hater. beauty destroyer
any female he was around he would try to ruin smash kill destroy
I met Chuck Strand before meeting John Layson
back in 1999 or so I was shopping at United super grocery store in robandee shopping center.
had my coupon holder in hand and suddenly an old man appeared before me in the meat department
he began talking about sales, deals and coupons saying i should do these things
i said i already do
from then on he always talked down to me as if he was smarter and a better shopper than me
at one point he insisted i fill my house with sales deals like he did and resale the items at a garage sale
he only had respect for one person who also did professional shopping her name is jeri who lives in raytown missouri off 78th street. she told him to have consideration for other people and leave at least one item on the shelf not buy out everything
she topped in so he respected her
I dont need it. Lots of things crap people think they have to have due to media and peer pressure
name brand designer clothes and shoes
artificial foods and drinks
processed foods, fast food, fake
makeup (is optional), fake fingernails (optional)
hair coloring
brand new car/auto/van
Food I ate yesterday
salad; iceberg lettuce, celery sticks, one radish, 2 carrots, chopped broccoli, lots of raw red onion homemade with homemade dressing; apple cider vinegar, olive oil, water, italian seasoning
one 15 oz can of chili
one 15.5 can of pinto beans
two handful of mixed nuts
8 dove dark chocolate pieces
1 large banana
Group groupies joiners identifying with
it seems good to join a group
to isolate oneself into one frame of mind and then
you end up having to agree with one person's rules
restricting your freedom of individuality and creativiy
the group gives illusion of security/safety within the pack
as if they are going to protect you and stand up for you
when in reality you make one wrong move, say one thing they
disagree with and you are ousted, banned from the group
ostracized. ridiculed. humilated. left out. not chosen. blackballed
he is fear based doesnt believe in god force spirit abundance
empty is what everything is to him
lacking, poverty, crime, war, hate, prejudice, anger, doubt
no amount of examples i give, the evidence of the universe convinces him
he runs around with blinds blinders on his head and eyes and brain
shutting out light and all the good
Wednesday, February 12, 2025
communication impossible with him
he is fear based doesnt believe in god force spirit abundance
glass if always less than half full, it is empty
I am not living or working with anyone ..no person ever again
They all are or turn into the devil control freaks and do nothing but stand in my way
I wont let him kick me out of this house
as he has threatened to do many times
used to threaten divorce for yrs then stopped when realized had to account for all finances
i shouldnt have to run with the clothes on my back
i shouldnt have to fear anything ever
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twilight zone its a good life a very bad man
this is him mls at age 63
He just threatened to break my fucking finger at 1025 am
i was doing dishes. he showed me the infomercial he had seen with the heaters he bought a couple of days ago. i stopped doing the dishes to watch video on his phone.
after hearing it i said that is good i didnt know it had a hepa filter. cant wait to get the heater and try it out
he says i cant believe it. it cant heat up 1000 sq ft in a room and use less energy
he crossed his arms while he sat in his recliner
i said your body language (crossing arms) shows you are doubtful and skeptical. you have always been skeptical about everything. you must see it to believe it
it progressed to him telling me to shut the fuck up
i came back and said "you shut up"
then he charged up the living room stairs doubled up his fist said you shut the fuck up . I will break your fucking finger
i said you are not going to touch me
he said you just dont know when to shut up do you. you keep going on and on
i said you just threatened me with bodily harm
Tuesday, February 11, 2025
Monday, February 10, 2025
Sunday, February 9, 2025
I never sold my body for money or anything. Should I have?
instead i gave away my body time and work free. for love.
in marriage or in relationships or one night stands
maybe i have had it all wrong my whole life
instead of doing it for love perhaps i should have done it for money by being a call girl, prostitute. whore. companion. side piece for pay. the other woman. porn star.
at least those women are respected, adored, have respect and have some money to show for it
Roommate Marriage I have
https://www.marriage.com/advice/counseling/roommate-marriage/
i wrote him a check $150 for rent. dated feb 12 2025. he didnt take it wrote me a note save it for utilities
i tore check up today 2122025
Karen stillwell followed news and
named her daughter amber because that became the name for alerts at the time
paranoid schizophrenic to the max
constantly listening to news watching everyone thinking all people esp family members iut to get her
harassed us all the time. phone calls. visits. lawsuits ..
his sister february 23 1960 born birthday dead years ago
It is like returning to the pot with your own and others excrement: the toilet
and expecting to feel better after you went to the counselor
the psychologist who is NOT living in your house undergoing the treatment
who asks you questions and wants you to figure it out yourself and will sometimes offer "treatments" of medications
Therapy counseling psychologists psychiatrists does not usually work
when the patient returns to the same home situation undergoing the very influences that created their problems
the perptrators who inflict abuse and violence will not usually seek treatment
the victim returns to the situation only to have the abuser get worse than they were before..humiliating and torturing the person because they can and because they returned and seem to be choiceless on where they are going to live
pills medications prescription drugs do not fix the abusers problems and definitely do not help the victim to regain strength, maintain their individuality and unique spirit
in fact, these drugs can immobilize the patient to where they believe they are the problems and end up becoming zombies to suffer the torture and this is how life should be living with a dictator
Males watching war, news, sports, violence, danger, sex movies videos
they imagine themselves in the scenes
Fueling terror. How extremists are made
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/fueling-terror-how-extremists-are-made/
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/fueling-terror-how-extremists-are-made/
I am confident he does and has done what his brothers do/have done
obsession with money, cars, control, sex, porn/pornography, dominance
filing lawsuits
threats/threatening. assaults assaulting wife woman female girlfriend
denying health care to the spouse
spending tons of money on self and restricting cash flow spending of the wife as if she should live on the bare minimum
denying higher education to wife
yoyo rollercoaster in relationship bouncing back and forth between no commitment to total control
belief in master slave idea like he is the boss she is the unworthy piece of trash to toss around rule dominate dictate to
women are treated like stupid idiots. they are either the little girl or the bitch or the whore
avoiding loyalty commitment marriage perceived as threat unless they can do anything they want and be unrestrained and have no responsiblility for what they do and take no accountability for their words and actions
they desire total freedom for themselves and try to trap the woman into a box so she is mute looks good like a plastic wooden barbie doll puppet stays still has no mind or will of her own
threats of divorce abandonment taking everything leaving me with nothing but my vehicle and claiming he was the victim when he is the perpetrator in every instance
https://www.miamidadeclerk.gov/clerk/domestic-violence.page
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is any assault, aggravated assault, battery, aggravated battery, sexual assault, sexual battery, stalking, aggravated stalking or any criminal offense resulting in physical injury or death of one family or household member by another who is or was residing in the same single dwelling unit.
An assault does not have to be physical violence. An assault can occur if someone intentionally threatens to cause you physical violence, even if they do not touch you.
Aggravated Assault - A threat that may have been verbal or physical and made you believe that serious harm could be done. If the person uses a deadly weapon when committing this act, it is an aggravated assault.
Battery and Aggravated Battery - An act of domestic violence becomes a battery when someone intentionally touches you without your permission and causes you great bodily harm, permanent disability or disfigurement. In addition, if the person uses a deadly weapon or if you were pregnant and the person knew or should have known, the act becomes an aggravated battery.
Stalking and Aggravated Stalking - If someone purposefully follows or harasses you repeatedly over a period of time for no legitimate purpose, which causes you a great amount of emotional stress. If they threaten your life or threaten to cause injury to you while stalking, with the intent to cause you to reasonably fear for your safety, then the act becomes aggravated stalking.
Terrorism. Terror. He acts like this and his brother John Stillwell was charged with this in Dallas, Texas
https://apps2.collincountytx.gov/JudicialOnlineSearch2/case/32ca224f-2aeb-4ea2-bcce-a3a6afa011a6
this was lawsuit in colling county texas john and rosie stillwell that he filed against me, my website and husband michael
john filed suit against employer hallf associates half because he was fired
john filed a divorce against his wife rosie also
interesting because michael threatened me with a divorce for many years the same years his brother john was doing this to his wife 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013
slothful lazy minds are worse than just a lazy body
making yourself look important to appear physically busy and yet not really doing or accomplishing anything because you cant think ahead and have no plan is one the stupidest things in the world that i have had employers and family members do
body concscious I have always been. Model/modelling
food health nutrition, calories, used to read prevention magazine when i was a child teen young adult
calorie counting is bull hockey
exercise; proper one for myself or yourself. mine are swimming, dancing, flexiblilty, never the hard strenuous manual labor for men
i have a flat stomach as always. only time belly protruded is when over 6 to 7 months pregnant/preg/preggie. people couldnt tell i was preg until i was 7 months along
i have nice legs and need to firm up my legs and behind
my core is pretty strong could be even better
Holidays. Every day is a holiday.
#1 Independence Day * self freedom of all things, thought, movement, work, actions
#2 Thanksgiving
#3 Christmas, Xmas giving to others from your blessings and abundance
#4 Mothers and Fathers Day
#5 Birthday. Each day is a new time of birth
Saturday, February 8, 2025
Identify and beat a snake
Upon first meeting most snakes are fake nice. They sniff you out to determine if you are easy good prey.
They identify other snakes quickly and avoid them. They also quickly identify victims. They want victims that are easy to control. Often they want a masochist because snakes are sadists.
Dogs do not like snakes or rats. The dog barks nonstop when seeing or smelling them. Dogs sense their evil.
Snakes are scared of dogs as they are of most animals.
After you have become the victim prey mister snake will order you around and suck you dry. He will raise his vicious head, glare at you and bare his fangs teeth. Then he bites literally with the fangs or other ways like sarcastic remarks, cruel threats, hits, punches, kicks. Strangulation, stab, bullet, fist, rock, weapon wounds.
His aim and goal is to keep you down, in control, paralyzed with fear.
The snake will attack and bite you repeatedly and inject their poison until you are dead.
Some snakes kill instantly. Some torture their prey for many years.
Human snakes fall into both categories; those that kill quickly and those that torture for long periods of time. Human snakes enjoy watching the suffering of their victims and the suffering of anyone.
Avoiding the snake is the best way to live.
If you must live with, work with or otherwise associate with the snake you can put on the fake face niceness around them. Keep your sessions short, as brief as possible when in their company or talking on the phone with them.
Stick to one point at a time, the thing they want at the moment. Forget having any real love, closeness or companionship because they are incapable of any of these things.
Leave the scene, avoid being in their presence as soon as possible.
Say you have something else to do, somewhere to go. Just leave. Graciously. No apologies or detailed reasons. They have no patience to listen and don't care what you have to say.
I would bet he did this
kept as much total trash items with the most disgusting porn from john's house back in 2021
i already saw some of the magazines he had stuffed into the bottom of a trash bag one night when i opened the bag to put some trash in it
i would guess he kept alot of the other horrid stuff
like the bdsm shit that suddenly came up missing out of the file cabinet it was in
he gravitates to the most disgusting things
Immature men: 53 manchild signs
https://www.lovepanky.com/women/understanding-men/immature-men
Immature men: 53 manchild signs
https://www.lovepanky.com/women/understanding-men/immature-men
X
Lovepanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships
Are you dating a manchild? Immature men are everywhere. Here are the signs of one and how you can help him change. It won’t be easy, but it can be done.
immature men manchild signs
Table of Contents
It’s an unfortunate reality that we can’t escape – immature men are all over the place. Even a grown man can turn out to be a manchild, making things much harder for you.
If you want your romantic life to be easier and more fulfilling, you need to steer clear of immaturity and learn to spot a manchild when you see one.
They probably won’t be at your maturity level and this often makes it hard for them to understand commitment and what you need to make a relationship work. [Read: What age does a man emotionally mature? 19 signs he’s grown a real pair]
What is a manchild?
A manchild is a man who is so immature that they are considered a child. By “immature” we mean that this man can’t take care of himself in any way, shape, or form.
For some reason, it seems like there is a manchild epidemic threatening to take over the world. Since our generation doesn’t stress the need for growing up, some people just never seem to catch up to their actual age anymore.
Yet, in past generations, you needed to get your act together by the age of 16 and grow up! [Read: 21 secret signs of a bad relationship that signal a bad future ahead]
How to spot immature men from a mile away
If you’re trying to avoid immaturity in the guys you date, you’ll want to figure it out early. Here’s how to tell if a guy is a manchild and super immature.
These signs may not be super noticeable at first, but after some practice, you’ll be able to point out the immature men easily.
1. He gets upset about small things very easily
This is usually just because he doesn’t possess the skills to solve problems on his own yet. And that means he’s pretty immature. [Read: 16 types of guys you should avoid like the plague]
When someone is always getting upset about things that aren’t really that big of a deal, it means they’re immature.
2. He’s jealous
Those who are jealous are usually insecure. Those who are insecure are usually pretty immature. They haven’t yet figured out how to accept themselves as is.
This means you can run into a lot of issues with jealousy simply because he’ll be comparing himself to anyone else you ever talk to. Which obviously causes major fights and unhappiness. Manchild alert![Read: 25 signs a guy is jealous that he just can’t hide]
3. There’s no communication on his end
Immature men have trouble communicating in general. They don’t really know how to effectively communicate and they often don’t understand the importance of it, either.
If a guy is having major communication issues early on, he’s probably really immature. Watch out!
4. He gets weirded out by commitment
Guys who are very immature don’t like commitment. They think about all the stereotypes of guys in committed relationships and they run for the hills. This is a major sign of immaturity and a manchild. [Read: How to get through the most common commitment issues]
It takes a mature man to admit that commitment is actually great. It makes him stronger when committing to a single person and being faithful. Immature men, on the other hand, are scared by it.
5. He doesn’t have plans for the future
If you ask a guy what he wants for his future and he shrugs or mumbles about how he doesn’t know, he’s pretty damn immature.
Failing to make plans shows a lack of interest in your future and that definitely shows a level of immaturity. [Read: 21 secret signs of a bad relationship that signal a bad future ahead]
6. He constantly complains about things rather than changing them
Those who complain and complain and complain without ever doing something to make a difference are really immature. They’d rather bitch and moan about something than do something to fix it. If you start dating a person like this, he’s a manchild and you should get out as fast as possible.
7. He doesn’t like people who are more successful
This is a dislike that’s linked only to the fact that they’re successful. It has nothing to do with anything else. This is a major sign of immaturity because it’s also a form of jealousy.
They’re upset someone else is doing good things mainly because they’re not.
A mature man would see a successful person and want to learn from them. He would look up to them and try to work just as hard to succeed. That person would become more of a role model and less of a threat to a mature man. [Read: How to tell the difference between jealousy and envy]
8. He judges you harshly
If you can’t safely open up to someone you’re dating, it’s a pretty big sign something is wrong. A guy who judges you harshly without knowing the background information is super immature. He’s not taking the time to think things through. He’s judging based on one little thing and that’s it.
9. He’s lazy
People who are mature know that it takes hard work to make things happen. Immature people, however, would rather do nothing and wait.
If the guy you’re seeing seems to be super lazy, he’s also probably very immature. [Read: Lazy boyfriend – 20 signs, why guys get lazy in love and how to help him change]
10. He doesn’t respect your opinion
Aka, if he disagrees, he gets pissed instead of talking things out and trying to understand where you’re coming from. This could be about anything, really.
Maybe you two are discussing politics and you disagree with each other. Instead of listening to your reasoning, an immature man will just argue and get mad when you don’t agree with him.
11. He always “jokes” with you, but they don’t feel like jokes
His “jokes” are always super harsh digs at you. They’re not innocent little jokes. They’re hurtful. [Read: Lessons to deal with judgmental people]
When a guy is making fun of you in a way that actually hurts you, he’s just really immature and has no regard for your feelings. That’s not really someone you want to be in a relationship with.
12. He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions
Maturity is being able to admit when you’re wrong and apologize for it. Immature men will continuously argue that they weren’t wrong or they’ll ignore the issue altogether.
If a guy is showing this sign that he’s super immature, run. You’ll only have problems with him. [Read: The devious signs of a manipulator you need to watch out for]
13. He’s rude to others
This can be waitresses, cashiers, or really anyone who is supposed to be doing a service for him.
Being mean to those who are trying to help is a major sign of immaturity and a lack of empathy. Both of those qualities aren’t exactly great things to have in a man.
14. He doesn’t stick to his word
This is one of the biggest traits of an immature man. Does he stick to his promises when he makes them? If not, it could be a big sign of immaturity. [Read: 22 early signs he would be a bad boyfriend]
Guys who are always making promises and never keeping them don’t respect you or their own words. How can you trust someone like that? His immaturity in this sense can cause major issues.
15. You feel the need to tell him to grow up
If you’re always fighting the urge to tell a guy to grow up, then he’s probably immature. You already recognize that he’s acting childish. Need we say more? He’s a manchild.
16. He never cleans up after himself
As in, EVER. A guy who throws dirty dishes into the sink without even rinsing them and then lets them fester there for days until you finally have had enough is nothing more than your typical manchild. [Read: Is your boyfriend lazy and boring? Fix him up for good!]
It’s also possible that he doesn’t clean up after himself not because he’s lazy, but because he actually doesn’t know how to work the dishwasher – or hell, even the sink.
17. He expects you to do all the household chores
If your boyfriend is harping at you to cook, clean, do the laundry, and all of the stuff that the “girl is supposed to do” then he hasn’t matured yet at all.
He’s probably been super-smothered by his mother who did everything for him and he still hasn’t grown out of it. [Read: 36 secrets to spot difficult people and deal with them in a calm and cool way]
18. He sulks if he doesn’t get his way
Do you know how a toddler will throw everything they’re holding and lay on the ground screaming until you give them what they want? He’s a lot like that.
He can’t handle it when life doesn’t cater to his every need. So, he sulks and throws a tantrum instead.
19. He can’t handle constructive criticism
A manchild just can’t take it when someone tells them how they can do something better.
In his immature mind, he’s the best at everything. So, he’ll just slump down for a while following constructive criticism.
This is a common trait amongst immature men and shows that they believe they’re the most important person in the world. [Read: Narcissistic boyfriend – 28 signs and ways to deal with a narc guy or dump him]
20. He’s never wrong
If arguing with your boyfriend is completely pointless because there’s just no way he’ll ever see your side because he’s always right, you may be dating a manchild.
21. Any type of game brings out his ugly side
Forget drinking games, board games, and even a nice game of Frisbee because if he loses – or even if he wins – he’ll be a sore loser or a gloating, insulting winner. [Read: Annoying boyfriend habits that most girls experience in a relationship]
You might as well just not bother playing because you know that it won’t end well, either way.
22. He only thinks about himself
Selfishness is a big trait of a manchild. His inability to think about anyone else in any given situation just proves his immaturity.
He believes the world revolves around him completely and again, it’s probably because his mother did everything for him. [Read: Selfishness in relationships and 15 ways to deal with it the right way]
23. He can’t handle his finances
If he’s spending money left and right with no way of tracking it or even being able to pay for it, you’re dating a manchild. This is another major trait of immature men and it does not bode well for your relationship.
His lack of financial control will impact you, especially if you get to the point where you share finances later down the line.
24. He lets his mom treat him like a child
Honestly, we would have to say that about 50% of the responsibility for a guy becoming a manchild lies with how his mother treats him. [Read: 21 subtle signs of emotional abuse you may be overlooking]
If he still lets his mom treat him as she did when he was small, that’s a major red flag. It’s time he grew up!
25. He talks a big game but hardly ever follows through
He may talk tough, and he may promise you great things, but if he never–or hardly–follows through with his intentions, then he’s a manchild.
You can’t trust his promises because you know they’re probably not going to come to fruition. He makes plans and then flakes on them. He’s not true to his word and it’s one of the big signs of immature men. [Read: 20 signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you and just wants to have fun]
26. If he gets sick, it’s the end of the world
Does he actually act like a child when he’s sick? He might just have a cold but in his eyes, it’s the worst thing to hit the world since the black plague. He also expects you to nurse him back to health, just as his mom did when he was young.
27. He can’t hold a steady job
Does your boyfriend constantly have to be looking for a job because he’ll be fired or quit after only a few months? If so, it could be a sign that he’s a manchild because he can’t follow rules and maintain a steady job. [Read: Types of guys you need to stop dating if you want real love]
28. He attacks you during an argument
Because he doesn’t know how to work through conflict in an effective manner, he will attack you during an argument. [Read: Turn offs for girls – 25 things guys do that girls absolutely hate]
This deflects the blame onto you, always making you look like the bad guy even when you’re not. So, he will attack you instead of looking at what he did wrong.
29. He has no impulse control
Whether it comes to spending his money, yelling at you, drinking, or just giving into any desire he has in the moment, he has no impulse control.
He doesn’t have the ability to stop himself and ask, “Should I really be doing this?” because he has no ability to self-reflect. [Read: Peter Pan Syndrome – what it is, 31 childish signs, and how to grow up ASAP]
30. He is a bully
A manchild is weak and immature. Because of this, he feels like he has to bully other people to get his way.
Instead of being mature and talking things through in a logical manner, he just resorts to bullying people. He thinks this makes him look powerful when in reality, he just looks like a silly little manchild.
31. He is a poor listener
He just doesn’t really want to hear anything anyone has to say. It could be about how your day went, a problem you have, or just telling him something interesting. [Read: 19 ways to be a much better listener in a relationship and read their mind]
And God forbid you actually try to talk to him during a football game or while he’s playing a video game. He doesn’t care what comes out of anyone’s mouth.
32. He is unsupportive
If you’ve had a bad day or if your tire needs changed, he just isn’t there for you. You can’t rely on him for anything.
In fact, you might as well be alone because he surely doesn’t make your life easier by taking care of you in any way. He’s completely unsupportive of you or anyone else. [Read: 17 signs of a supportive partner who encourages you and your goals]
33. He is a pathological liar
Children lie because they think that they can get away with it and no one will figure them out. But their brains aren’t developed enough yet to know that is not true.
However, a manchild’s brain should be developed, but he acts like a toddler and lies all the time. He doesn’t care about the consequences of his lies either.
34. He lacks healthy ways to cope with stress
Everyone has stress in their lives – it’s pretty inevitable for most people. But immature men don’t have very healthy ways to deal with it. [Read: 17 life secrets to smile more often, feel great, and laugh your stress away]
Instead of going to the gym or meditating, he will drink too much, smoke, and play video games 24/7 to escape or do some other activity that is not helping him or the other people in his life.
35. Unable to delay gratification
When a manchild wants something, he wants it NOW. He doesn’t have the ability to think about it and ask himself whether or not it’s a good idea to have it.
And he has no patience and can’t delay any kind of gratification at all. He wants what he wants when he wants it. Just like a toddler. [Read: What is masculinity? 46 manly and toxic traits women love and despise in men]
Can an immature man ever change?
Of course, everyone can change their ways if they really want to. The problem is that immaturity doesn’t tend to be something people are aware of or like to be pointed out to them.
Fixing a manchild isn’t an easy task. It could take a long time for him to properly mature into a real adult. However, there are some ways to hurry the process along.
1. Be patient
We say this first because fixing a manchild can be a long and frustrating process. Take it day by day and just remember to be calm.
If you really care about him and want to be with him, be patient with the process. [Read: The big reasons why a man feels emasculated and behaves like a manchild]
2. Communicate with him
You have to tell him what he’s doing and how it’s affecting you. He doesn’t realize that he’s being immature. Make sure he knows how you feel and tell him often so he’s always reminded that he has to be changing something.
3. Use incentives for him to change
If talking to him just isn’t enough, you may have to get real with him. Now, he may not accept this at first, but you’ll have to try. [Read: 33 signs and qualities that make a guy a really good boyfriend]
Tell him that if he can’t grow up and get his act together, you may have to move on. It’s a meaningful incentive, but it’s also honest down to its core.
Is it worth dating an immature man?
That’s a tough one! It really depends upon the degree of immaturity. If he’s a super-manchild then you’re just going to end up frustrated all the time.
But, if his immaturity isn’t that far up the scale, perhaps you can work with him to change. It’s a personal choice at the end of the day but you have to think about what happens when things don’t go well. [Read: How to know if you should break up – 22 signs that can guide you]
Life always throws us curve balls and you need to be able to handle these things together. That takes a certain amount of maturity. And if he’s a manchild, you’re always going to be the one responsible for making the big decisions without much support.
You have to question whether that’s something you’re willing to handle. For sure, you might love him, but if you can’t handle a total lack of support, you need to walk away. [Read: What is a toxic relationship? 53 signs to recognize the love that hurts you]
Get your man to recognize that he’s an immature manchild
The first half of the article was for you to spot the signs of a manchild and either stay away from him or decide how to handle him if you’re already with one.
But this next part is for him. If you’re already in a relationship with a manchild and want him to change, the first step is to get him to admit he’s an immature man. It’s not going to be easy, and he will deny it. But this is the first step toward change.
So, you will have to have him read this next section. However, you have to approach him in a non-confrontational way. You can’t criticize or yell at him when you are doing this or else it won’t work. Instead, you have to approach him in a loving and non-judgmental way.
Ask him if he feels like maybe he wants to improve himself. Start with something he would respond well to, like making more money.
You could ask, “Honey, wouldn’t you love to have more money so we can go out and do more things or travel?” He’ll probably answer “Yes.” [Read: How to not be a narcissist – self-reflecting steps to change yourself]
From there, you can say that you want to help him change. And you need to emphasize that this is for his own good too – not just yours. Remember a manchild is very selfish. If he doesn’t see anything in it for him, then he won’t do it.
So, you’re going to have to be very methodical and deliberate for this to work. You might even say that if he wants to keep you, he will have to read this and try to make some changes.
As we said, it’s not going to be easy, but it can be done. So, are you ready? [Read: How to be a man the way he really should be]
How to stop being a manchild
Sure, you like to be babied. It’s nice and convenient to have someone taking care of your every need, but it’s not helping you.
If anything, your skills are diminishing by the second and soon you’ll be left completely helpless. You really don’t want to become that person.
So, if you landed on this feature, you know you need to change your ways. Which is great! It’s the first step in dropping the “child” from your title. [Read: Self-centered people – 40 signs and ways to change yourself or deal with one]
You need to “man up” and become a man. If you’re over 18 and called a manchild, this is for you. It’s time to be a man.
1. Accept what you are
This doesn’t mean you don’t have to change, you still do. But accepting your behavior and actions is the first step in overcoming your manchild ways.
If you’re in denial, then you shouldn’t even be reading this, you’re not ready. When you can openly call yourself a manchild, then it’s time for you to take action. [Read: 16 types of guys girls just don’t want to date]
2. Let go of the nipple
You’ve been sucking on the tit for far too long. It’s time for you to let it go. If you want to know how to stop being a manchild, gain some independence.
Yes, relying on your mom or partner is comfortable, but it’s not helping anyone. Take responsibility, pay a phone bill, and start doing things on your own. [Read: Mature ways to begin facing life like the adult you are]
3. Understand your coping mechanisms
Everyone uses coping mechanisms to deal with their personal issues. If you’re a manchild, you may depend on TV and video games to help cope with your issues.
Listen, gluing yourself to the TV or playing an entire weekend of Fortnite isn’t going to take you away from the reality of your life.
4. Take responsibility
Of course, you don’t want to hear it, but you’ve been playing the victim for far too long. It’s time for you to take ownership of your actions. [Read: The alpha male – 65 traits of a real alpha man and true secrets to be one yourself]
Instead of blaming everyone else for your problems, and you do since you’re a manchild, it’s time to see how you played a role in your life. Because it’s not everyone else’s fault for how things turned out.
5. Stop being entitled
When you’re a child, you don’t need to work, you don’t need to pay bills, and no one expects anything from you. When you’re a kid, everything is given to you. But the thing is you’re not a kid anymore, you’re an adult. People have expectations.
You have bills to pay and you need to earn the things you want to have. Fix your own problems, and work towards your own success. [Read: How to get rid of your bad sense of entitlement]
6. Leave your comfort zone
When you were a child, it was considered normal if you didn’t want to leave your comfort zone. Who honestly wants to leave their comfort zone? Exactly.
But as we get older, we learn that we have to leave our comfort zone to grow as a person. However, you’re still stuck in your comfort zone and you don’t want to leave.
Well, then you won’t be able to grow either. [Read: Emotional maturity – clues to know if someone has it]
7. Enough with the lying
Aren’t you getting tired of lying? Because we’re sure tired of hearing the excuses. You need to lie to cope with your problems but it’s not working to your advantage.
In the short term, sure, it may ease things, but in reality, all it’s doing is holding you back. Plus, you don’t need to be known as a liar.
8. Cut dependent relationships
That doesn’t mean that you need to stop talking to your mom, but you need to create boundaries. If you have a partner that is babying you, change the behavior. [Read: 41 rules to be a gentleman every girl would secretly dream of dating]
Some people crave babying another adult, but if you want to get out of this phase, then you need someone who values independence.
9. Learn simple skills
It’s not that you’re useless, but you probably never did the dishes or cleaned the toilet bowl. Now, no one likes doing this but these are things you need to do when you grow up.
If you want to know how to stop being a manchild, learn how to do things around the house and actually do them. Clean the bathroom, learn how to do the laundry, and start to take pride in taking care of yourself.
10. Keep your word
When you say you’re going to do something, do it. A manchild is someone who only talks with no action. And when you bail out on a plan, there’s always an excuse.
When it gets tough, you decide to give up and come up with a reason why. But that needs to stop. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. [Read: How to court a woman – the meaning and 23 gentlemanly ways to woo her]
11. Focus on being empathetic
If you’re a manchild, you’re mostly concerned about your own well-being. You may have a partner, but you rarely ask them how their day was or how they’re feeling.
Instead, everything is about you and what’s going on in your life. But if you want to be a man, start giving a shit about people other than yourself. [Read: Why empathy is so important in relationships]
12. Get real
Time to wake up. You may have wanted to be a race car driver when you were a kid but now you’re twenty-five, and that’s not going to happen.
You probably don’t want to get a “real job,” but sitting on your couch isn’t productive. It’s time to get real with reality.
13. Give more in bed
If someone asks your partner if you’re giving, they’ll probably say no. Usually, if you’re a manchild, you’re not overly giving in bed. Instead, you focus on receiving pleasure. But it’s time to give. [Read: Signs you’re the selfish one in the relationship]
14. You’re not going to change overnight
Everyone would like to change overnight. Though you can change your behavior overnight, committing to the change is an entirely different story.
You’re going to make mistakes, feel vulnerable, and sometimes, you’ll want to quit and go back to being a manchild. It takes time. [Read: 15 things immature men do that hurt them bad]
15. Talk to a therapist
This isn’t something that you’re going to overcome with ease. You’re going to go through many struggles and obstacles when it comes to this. But you don’t need to do this alone.
Talking to a therapist can help give you the tools and a safe space to talk and work on your manchild issues. Because honestly, these issues aren’t shallow, they go way back.
[Read: How to grow up and face life like an adult]
Now that you know the signs of a manchild and had your immature man read this article, it’s time to make some changes for the better, don’t you think? Of course you do, but hopefully, now he will too.
Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. And while you’re at it, check out MIRL, a cool new social networking app that connects experts and seekers!
Preeti Tewari SeraiPreeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...
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Signs of Immature Man
https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/sign-of-immature-man/
https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/sign-of-immature-man/
And he is ALL of these at age 63.
Big ball of Crap he is
I can go back to 38 years ago when I met him.
He had the same personality and symptoms then as he does now. I didn't recognize or want to see any negative things about him. In this way I was delusional because I was in love with his physical appearance and his public persona.
Outside to neighbors and in public he appears presentable. Looks good, acts in acceptable ways.
Inside he is a ball of fear. Full of insecurity, worries, weakness of character.
He wants total control of others and lacks self control. He takes out all of his frustrations upon me and says I am to blame for his anger and abusive behavior.
I am not responsible for his thoughts or actions.
If he ever takes responsibility for himself it will be a miracle.
All I can do is stay away, hide and watch while he destroys himself and blames the world for all of his problems.
He sees the bad in all of life. Does not appreciate much of anything. Can't take any type of critical remark or a comment about anything can be done better. He deems it as a personal attack upon him and does not seek any other way to do something unless he is the one who generates the idea.
He focuses on news, bad news and criminal acitivies of government, main stream media, people in general, corrupt systems. He says most people will perform a crime if they don't think they will get caught.
He can't accept me or most people the way they are. He insists that I change myself to suit him. He will not look at himself and change anything about him.
He justifies his behaviors and says it is normal. EG: "it is not abnormal for men to look at pornography", "any red blooded male would have sex with that woman", "you made me do it..i wouldn't have said that, hit you or tried to strangle you if you hadn't have done that", "you are the reason i act this way", "it's not my fault", "you are to blame"
He destroys and detests any fun, happiness, smiles, parties, gatherings, get togethers.
When my dad paid for our riverboat cruise I had a glorious time enjoying the boat ride and wonderful food and all he did was complain about the cost of it. The same thing he does now and has done each and every time we had a nice dinner anywhere at any restaurant.
He is paranoid and suspicious of everyone and their motives. He thinks people and police are following him and is ware of all, constantly looking around in the environment. A curtain must always be closed in the evening when light is visible inside the house. I cannot leave a curtain or blind open for fear the neighbors or anyone can see inside the home. He is especially afraid that anyone could see my body, skin, flesh or movement.
He is Mr/Mister Misery.
All 7 deadly sins are displayed: PAWLEGS: Pride, Avarice, Wrath, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Sloth
Egotistical, greedy, angry, lustful, envious and jealous of others, overdoes several things, laziness of mind in that he has the inability to be really creative and imaginative and introspective.
Full blown schizophrenia, which I believe is untreatable and incurable.
His siblings were and are the same way, as if stuck in early childhood and or early teen phase of life.
Tip of the iceberg reveals the whole berg
Little things, the small stuff reveals the whole character of the person
Wish I would have known this years ago.
Friday, February 7, 2025
Signs of Being a SuperAger
From a layperson's perspective, there is one main sign of being a superager: You remember more than others in your age group. But from a scientific perspective, there are numerous factors that determine if a person is a superager. The following is true of people over eighty years old who are superagers:2
Their brains look twenty to thirty years younger than their age when imaged.
Their brains resist cortical shrinkage, which means that their brains have not shrunk, also known as atrophied, in ways that are common for others of their age group.
They lose 1.06% of their brain volume annually, compared to the 2.24% of their peers.3
Their brains have higher levels of a specific type of neuron, called Von Economo neurons.4
The fibers in their brains do not get tangled in the ways that are markers of Alzheimer's disease.5
Can You Become a SuperAger?
Even though studies about superagers continue to be underway, there's no doubt that some factors of being one are likely biological. In the same way that some people are born with higher intellect than others, it's safe to assume that some people's bodies and brains are simply inclined to resist certain symptoms of aging better than others.
However, even with the knowledge that there is probably a genetic component to becoming a superager, The Mesulam Center for Cognitive Neurology and Alzheimer's Disease does think that lifestyle factors play a role in the retention of brain cells. Let's take a look at their suggestions for helping your brain remain as strong as possible as you grow older.
How to Improve Your Memory as You Age
There are several different lifestyle habits that you can adopt to increase your chances of becoming a superager.6 While these lifestyle habits don't have any way to guarantee that you'll become one, the good news is that they are all health habits to adopt in general. They have the potential to increase your well-being, happiness, and fitness, in addition to helping improve your brain power and memory.
Challenge Yourself Mentally
The saying "get comfortable being uncomfortable" applies well to those who want to become superagers. In order to keep your brain strong, it's important to perform activities that fall outside your comfort zone. Neuroplasticity is our brains' ability to change as we learn new things; that means that the act of learning something new can actually enable your brain to change physically.
Of course, you don't have to do anything unpleasant in challenging your brain: The goal is to be able to do things that are outside your comfort zone, not that make you miserable! There are many ways to keep your brain strong with activities you enjoy. Some ways you might choose to challenge yourself mentally include:
Learn a new language
Take an online or in-person class
Play word games, do puzzles, or play board games
Break your routine, such as by taking new routes on errands
Learn a craft, such as knitting or crocheting
Be Active
It's well known that exercise is good for both your physical and your mental health, so it's no surprise that superagers tend to be active. However, you don't have to go to the gym if that isn't something you enjoy. There are many ways to be active, and if you do the ones you enjoy most, you'll be the most likely to stick with them over time. Some activities that aren't standard calisthenics or weight training exercise but still raise your heart rate and are beneficial are:
Dancing
Swimming or other water activities
Hiking
Walking
Taking the stairs instead of an elevator
Sports
Bowling
Frisbee
Eat Vital Nutrients
Just like it's common knowledge that being active is good for your longevity, most people also know that eating well can help you to live a more nourished life. Some nutrients are particularly good for your brain, and others can detract from its ability to perform well. In addition to eating less sugar, you'll want to ensure you eat sufficient amounts of the following nutrients that help your brain to thrive. These foods have been shown to help protect your brain from decline:
Leafy green vegetables, such as lettuce, spinach, and kale7
Fatty fish8
Coffee and tea9
Berries10
Be Social and Enjoy Life
The team at Northwestern note that "SuperAgers tend to report strong social relationships with others." It's actually a good thing for your brain to keep social connections as you grow older, and your brain will benefit from socializing with others in person. Maintaining connection with others can be an excellent choice in general for your mental health, as it can help stave off loneliness and depression.
In addition to spending time with friends, superagers know to focus on more than just a healthy lifestyle—they also have fun. Some consume alcohol moderately, which, provided it is not overconsumed, helps to reduce the risk of getting Alzheimer's disease.11 Whatever you enjoy, make sure that you keep space in your schedule for it. And if you enjoy it with a friend, that's even better.
A Word From Verywell
It's normal to experience cognitive decline as you age, and women may experience its onset more quickly than men do. If you have noticed that your memory is not as strong as it used to be, it's worth seeing a professional to rule out any illness such as Alzheimer's Disease.
11 Sources
He can dish it out but he can't take it. PERIOD
cant take any criticism of anything about him what he says thinks or does
yet ruthlessly is critical of everyone and me constantly on a daily basis
INSTANT
instantly feel better
remove self from any one, person, place or thing that makes me feel bad in any way
avoid like the plague any type of person or thing that emanates bad vibrations
instant pleasure/joy in food, thoughts, sex, movement, activities
breathing is the fastest way to achieve calm, relaxation, good vibes
Careful of all things I do around a Psycho
my appearance, the way i dress, walk, talk, look, sound, smell,
he watches closely what i do, each and every look, expression, tone of my voice, how i smell,
he tries to figure out what i am doing, what i am thinking and tries to direct my thoughts to what he is thinking and feeling at the moment... i maintain my own thoughts which frustrates him to the max
how i act/react ..he is looking for a reaction from me, usually a bad one like anger, hatred, etc to reflect his own feelings of wrath
i need to learn to be quiet, don't say what i am going to do, what i want or think or feel
never give detailed answers. he questions every breath i take, every move i make and i want to explain and i need to STOP explaining immediately..he understands NOTHING
never reveal plans, goals, dreams, desires, finances,
be grey/gray rock neutral all of the time
so he has no idea what i am thinking or feeling at any moment
it is just like in so many movies i have seen about crazy people, usually men, that are psychotic, neurotic, obsessed,
so i can act nice and give him what he apparently wants at the moment like cookies and a bunch of junk food instant trash
You get what you got. You are your thoughts
same thing my mother in law told me back in 1982 when she gave me the book Key to yourself. she said all the self help mastery books teach the same thing: it is in your thoughts. it all begins, it starts there. in your mind.
He wants me to look as bad as he feels
subconsciously pushing his fears upon me and expecting me to react badly to all nasty news stories of how terrible the world is.
i have to get away.
Old bastard.
Rigid. fixed. incorrigible. self induced stress. aging faster each day.
his self talk is fear, negativity, doomsday, control. detests change. disasters focused.
beliefs stated we are getting old older.
hopeless attitude
Thursday, February 6, 2025
Dogpatch
type of girl he is used to
trash trashy cheap eats trash junk food and lots of sweets
ignorant, dirty, can't clean house and do deep cleaning
piles things all over the place
goes along with whatever he wants in any way shape form or fashion
fake fakes it and he believes it and the lies
works a minimum wage job
has no formal education, maybe didn't even graduate high school
never has plenty of her own money
is his whore slave and
secretly screws lots of guys he doesn't know about
wears too much makeup
hair is done up and lots of spray on it
breaks her back doing the work of men the things he likes to do
jumps fast to his beck and call without thinking
looks and dresses cheap
low class and stupid which he thinks is the way all women are and should be to match his mentality
incapable of abstract thinking
relies purely on physical things that are obvious just like him
has rotten and missing teeth like him due to massive sugar intake
Wednesday, February 5, 2025
New
home job career education car surgery location name social security number
life is new
no past history
no social media
no trackability
keep to myself at home and work if i have a job. no mingling with neighbors coworkers. private life.
no regulars who see me know about my private life
Pluses I have going for me
finances are separate. he has zero access to accounts
i am slim trim intelligent fairly healthy even though my back is severely curved 58 degrees to the left
i have no dependents
i can sleep when i need to
i think outside of the box
Class. classes of people
class. grade. level. type.
status determined by level of comprehension. emotional maturity state.
not determined by financial state or formal education.
people who differ in class clash.
they cant communicate effectively with each other
sub mature man or woman with more mature person will fight, not get along. on different wavelengths. 2 immature people will fight most of the time.
in this relationship of marriage i finally realize this. we are on very different planes . explains why communication is difficult and why problems exist and have been there since day one.
educating him is nearly impossible. his personality is genetic. his upbringing shaped him. all experiences are interpreted solely through him and i cant teach him how to relate like i do.
if i had reached a very high level of maturity i would not be here . i would know it is useless to fight which is not what i attempt to do. i attempt to reach understandings and explain myself repeatedly to no avail. exhausting myself mentally physically trying to explain abstract and concrete things to a man who cant comprehend.
he grew up fighting narcs in his entire family. he did not learn ordinary manners. table. food. courtesy opening doors. using euphemisms. being empathetic. honoring boundaries. respecting recognizing appreciating . these are foreign to his learning.
grandma would have called him low class poor white trash.
Tuesday, February 4, 2025
Cowards
Won't defend others
Won't say anything to risk losing
Donate money to lost causes and phony organizations instead of proactive actions helping those people in need
Scared to death
Won't admit fears
Set themselves up for failures
Hurt the people closest to them more than anyone else
Tie things up and family down
Cause chaos and confusion
Destroy other people's creations and ideas
Maintain trashy bad attitudes
Rarely compliment or support their spouse partner
Boring bored people I know do these things
easily bored and very boring and often predictable
feel like they need and have to be entertained constantly
lack instrospection. do not meditate. do not reflect.
never look at themselves in the mirror closely
watch the same tv shows, movies over and over then complain to me if i do the same thing saying i dont know why you watch that more than once
can't find something fun to do so have to watch others do it on tape, dvd, any kind of recording
favorite games often chess, could be cards, monopoly, checkers etc. typically play same game over and over and think they must win
watch videos as much as possible instead of doing fun things
avoid doing real cleaning, housework, laundry and leave their freaking messes for me to do
don't want things moved around
sit in the chair, recliner or bed watching the tv, the laptop, cell phone etc and ignore me
criticize the way i look even though there is nothing wrong with my looks
nitpick my food choices and cooking
prefer fast food junk trash over real food
think they are the smartest men/man around
talk about only the things they like which pumps their ego and
try to make me feel insignificant, stupid, incapable, ugly and worthless
lack imagination and creativity ; this is why they watch others constantly
are inflexible, rigid, fixed in attitudes, like and dislikes
think their opinion is fact
believe they are smarter than me and everyone else
watch news, weather, sports often
don't really have much of a life
treat spouse, partner/mate/wife/husband like worthless trash
You need to make me some cookies..said by the ex and current husband..
wtf? go get your own fkking cookies. i am not your baker and maid and slave
Idiot box creates stupid people who ignore their own wife, family.
Idiot box creates stupid people who ignore their own wife, family. They are easily bored and have the most boring personalities.
Men I have been with sit in front of the screen sucking up videos of other people while the house is in disarray.
He would rather have his face stuck in a monitor or cell phone than do things with me.
He does not enjoy or appreciate being with me.
He loves to watch all kinds of porn varying from soft to medium to hard.
Movies that are apparently for family viewing such as Anne of Green Gables, nothing more than a form of soft porn so he can have his eyes glued to a very young pubescent girl who happens to be cute, pretty and beautiful.
He has no idea what the story is about or what she is saying. She, in fact, is alot like me in her outspokenness and doing the right things.
Anne stands up for people like I do. And he doesn't see it at all.
He just watches videos because he likes to look at the pictures.
Sames goes for when he watches the spanish channel which shows beautiful women . He can't speak or understand any Latin language.
He just looks at the pictures. Like the men I saw at a store one day who were looking at videos on a tv in the store. Movies and news showing beautiful women. They weren't listening to what she was saying at all. Just watching the videos. Ignoring the store.
Good excuse for him and my ex and many other men (like my dead friend John Layson) in this world to look at a wide variety of girls and women that turn them on.
Why look at me or pay attention to me? He can view all kinds of beautiful girls on television, the internet, in movies.
These people have poor social skills, can't communicate properly. They lack imagination and sometimes don't know what to do with themselves. They don't create their own life and end up living it through the television screen, the cell phone, the computer monitor internet.
This behavior is what caused me to divorce the last husband. All he wanted to do is watch cable tv, rent movies and wake me up in the middle of the night while he had a hard core porn video playing on the tv with no sound, mute was on while he was raping me in my sleep.
Monday, February 3, 2025
Age 11 I began planning suicide
Went to a funeral of my cousin Paulette Shraps in California when I was about 10 or 11. She was 25 or 26 years old when she was killed in a car/auto accident. Hit by a drunk driver. She was beautiful. Long dark hair. Laying there in the casket she looked alive. So very pretty. Everybody mourned for her death. So sad. I did not understand dying and what this was all about.
I wanted to die because the household I lived in was insane. To die young. Look perfect and get it over with. Knowing what I know now I wish I would have succeeded in committing suicide. Attempted it a few times. Obviously failed.
A nurse named Nancy who was the girlfriend of my uncle Ken/Kenneth Daniel Mitchell in Las Vegas, Nevada told me if you cut your wrists right along the vein you will succeed in bleeding to death. The doctors and nurses wouldn't be able to fix or repair the cuts, especially if you went deep into the vein.
We visited Nancy and my uncle Ken in Vegas the year 1972 or 1973, I went to the funeral of my cousin Paulette. Nancy had no idea why I asked about wrist cutting.
At age 17, I cut both my wrists along the vein and did NOT succeed. Nancy was wrong. I was 7-8 months pregnant at the time and wanted both of us to die. I knew the future was going to be bad. Boy, was I right. The child I gave birth to, born in December, 1978 is now 46 years old. He had a life of living hell and still lives in junk trash hell. He is a real mess with severe psychotic paranoid schizophrenic issues and god knows what else.
I came back home to my dad's house after I cut my wrists. I found some old towels and wrapped them around my bloody wrists to cover it up. Didn't want anyone to see. They didn't see so no one asked me about them. It was winter time. November. Cold outside so i could wear a jacket to cover my arms.
Age 18 I took a bunch of over the counter sleeping pills. It did not work.
In my 30s I tried again with otc pink pills. And I had been drinking. Failed again.
30 years later I have thought up many ways to do it. Decided next time I will not fail.
Concerned about the money situation because husband is all about money I know that life insurance like accidental death and dismemberment, the only one we have, will not cover it if they deem it to be a suicide. Only a real accident is covered.
At some point I may decide to hell with it all. Do it anyway regardless of the fact no one would get any money for my death.
All anyone cares about is money. No one values anything about me unless I can spend some money or do things for them for free or very cheap.
I am just a meaningless nobody, a no one thing no one gives one rats about. My permanent disappearance from this earth and life would be a blessing to many people in many ways.
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Doctor said I have no cataracts, no glaucoma and no macular degeneration which is good. He said my pupils were well dilated so he did not ha... -
am i really a failure? am i doing what i am able to do? OR am i unable to fit into other people's boxes, unable to keep up with dem...
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Any person I am talking to immediately diverts their attention to someone else or some animal or some other things in the area. They drop t...