Keep Me Off Disability

Thursday, October 23, 2025

Wined and dined conversation

 no intimacy expected

at October 23, 2025 No comments:
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Full time job at home

 I dont even have a job earning wages

My entire life job centers around surviving and managing to cope with insanity. an insane person.

Sell a little on the internet  Miracle I can do that with his interruptions

interjections orders rules , irregular spontaneous impulsive activities and

 the cat all over the house sniffing eating licking drinking ..caught her in my food and drinking off my cups many times. And her scratching her fleas, barfing anywhere unexpectedly, jumping all over,  scratching my bedroom door demanding she get in all night 

Husband, our cat snd several feral cats. Trying to get deep cleaning done anywhere except in my bedroom is almost impossible with him here.

Manage to keep up with laundry. Normal cooking the way most people do is impossible. I have to work around him. His rules.  Use caution making food he doesn't like the smell of.

Eat in the middle of the night at second meal of the day. Dodging him avoiding him and the cat.

Simplifying is what I want so I can do what I want. Write. Artwork. Design invent patent. Roam at will in free time. Photographs. My pictures I need to go through . My journals I need to go thru. 

Too many hours spent cooking shopping cleaning washing dishes. Fighting with him many times while I cook clean sort.

Endless spiral arguments dead ends that go nowhere.

He says I argue cause fights because I dont agree 100 percent . He cant have a valid argument because he wont listen to both sides... only one side. His side  His opinions, feelings and preferences are facts to him. There's only one way to do things. His way . There is only one way to think. The way he thinks. One reason, his reason. He is unreasonable because he cant reason.






at October 23, 2025 No comments:
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Tuesday, October 21, 2025

Yoga in the sun thru my window

 nude

at October 21, 2025 No comments:
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Cleaning up the trash constantly

at October 21, 2025 No comments:
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He expects me to be ready for what he wants at the drop of a hat

 and to think and do exactly as he does whatever he is thinking or doing at the moment

He can't plan anything regarding fun events and if we ever do go somewhere that was planned he is anxious pushy has attitude let's hurry up we will be late and says "You are always late" which is a lie.

He demands things must be done early in the morning and people shouldn't do things at night or in the evening. He maintains false belief that during the day things are safer and better such as burglaries robberies accidents which can happen at anytime of day anywhere.

If I don't agree he calls me worthless, stupid, dimwit and constantly tells me I do not what is going on the in the world. He does not know what is going on within himself and lacks self reflection and the ability to mediate and be introspective. Everything is always someone else's fault. Other people are stupid and to blame and I happen to be the one he blames most things on.

Two days ago he said I look terrible due to losing weight and made several comments about how we used to have sex 

Then he blamed my weight loss of drinking coffee in the morning and all day long and me using vapor cigarette. He says tha I USED TO LOOK GOOD. I said, "That is funny because other people say I look good whenever I go out and people we know say I look pretty good. You are the only one that says I look bad."

He takes no responsiblility for his behavior of him daily starting in a yelling complaining session at me every time I get ready to eat a meal.  I have told him repeatedly I need to eat in peace not have anyone yelling around me. He continues to do the same things over and over.

I said, "How do you expect me to feel after you call me names and insult me most of the time?"

He seems to have no awareness of how what he says and does affect me.




at October 21, 2025 No comments:
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Labels: Mls

Sun is number 1. Sunshine is mandatory. Social rules block this necessity.

 I have been lacking early morning sun for many years and it has caused the majority of my problems physically thus mentally

lack of vitamin d production cascaded the bone loss, insomnia, undersleeping oversleeping, digestive disturbances, depression, depressive episodes, suicidal thoughts and actions, eye vision problems, pain in my severely curved back/spine, leg pains

uncontrollable crying episodes 

inability to maintain regular jobs anywhere

Other people insist I cover myself up therefore I lack getting enough sun on my skin. Society's rules about keeping yourself covered especially women is another major reason. Modesty, chastity issues due to moral reasoning humans have developed. Females in the media tv internet magazines are often shown scantily clothed or nude and this is unacceptable in daily life in the public.




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Labels: illness, mental illness, sun, sunshine, vitamin d

I point out what he says and does and says I am being nasty

 it is because I point out his nasty behavior

He can't stand to hear what he has said and done to me because it is mean and nasty

He is impulsive, one track minded and has difficulty foreseeing predictable events that will happen such as preparing for a trip out anywhere and remembering that hunger will strike and food will be needed

that you need to have a jacket, coat, sweater at all times when you go out due to weather changes and it always gets cooler in the evening


at October 21, 2025 No comments:
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Labels: Mls

Monday, October 20, 2025

Morning Devils

 many people i know who are early risers are also like satan beginning when they wake up in the morning


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Sunday, October 19, 2025

Patience is one of my lessons

at October 19, 2025 No comments:
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Humility is one of my lessons

 of myself and others close. 

at October 19, 2025 No comments:
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In the beginning..

 he acted shy as if innocent, easy to control

he is none of those things

directly opposite


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If I had knowledge in brains of all people I knew and know

 and all that have been and will be...

a wish i had since i was born

fascinated with the vast amount of information people have and how they can remember certain things so well

my father was as alert at 75 as he was at 35. he died at 75 on jan 28, 2003 tuesday. born on july 27, 1927. 

lived 27,579 days. 75 yrs 6 months one day.

he had so much knowledge i wish i could tap into his brain memory cells. wish it could have been saved. preserved and accessed somehow . 

save the human memories stored on disc or any platform 

all i have is my own memory which is faulty failing me sometimes

my dads alertness and lack of alzheimers or other similar conditions amazes me considering his habits of heavy coffee drinking, heavy cigarette and cigar smoking, daily alcohol consumption at night, overeating after age 50, serious health issues diabetes type 2, migraines. 








at October 19, 2025 No comments:
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Antsy they become

 when hungry

have to pee or poop

the cat. him. me. people. animals. me.



at October 19, 2025 No comments:
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True / many colors he shows to me

 many faces not seen by others such as neighbors friends

faces some might be fake colors

The:

innocent sweet young boy face persona

father

dictator

fearmonger

sympathetic one

malevolent

lover

killer

brave

coward

cheater

cheap tightwad

extravagant giver

sage

savant

fool

idiot

dominator






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Labels: Mls

Friday, October 17, 2025

Best buy for electronics media needs

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Commerce bank. one of the best.

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Walmart is the answer

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Sometimes you have to lie be sly be silent

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Thursday, October 16, 2025

Wanna be wannabe want to be was I am I

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Wednesday, October 15, 2025

Distractions

 Any kind of distraction gets me off course of a need or a goal. 

It causes me to lose sight of anything I am doing or want to do.

Keeps me from taking care if bare necessities.

Disrupts my life with chaos. Makes it harder for me to live in a clean neat environment at home or work.


Television, news. media and people dropping by unexpectedly.  People dumping their problems and messes upon me. 

People with their advice who are not me living in my body or in my situation who think they have all the easy answers to my problems.

Animals.. pets... cats ..any type of pet has a benefit of companionship and disadvantage of being a hindrance in caring for them. Feeding. buying food. cleaning up their messes , having them be in my way when i am walking and doing things.


Every person has ideas on how their life should be and like to inflict their opinions upon me.


 



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I fell asleep in hot tub last night

 so tired couldnt even swim

around 7 pm fell asleep no one noticed at community center 730 ish woke up

i could have drowned and no one would notice or care

went to commerce bank earlier before going to center was yawning uncontrollably around 5 pm

when i woke up in hot tub managed to go in a shower before driving home


at October 15, 2025 No comments:
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Dont throw your problems on me

 I have enough of my own problems. Some have no solutions.

Back pain, leg pains.

appetite eating disruptions

dead family

no friends

psychotic husband

living in a mess

fatigue is bad and unpredictable



at October 15, 2025 No comments:
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Wednesday October 15, 2025 he left at 9:45 am

 and is still gone

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Tuesday, October 14, 2025

I saved old tv guides in the 70s when I was a child

 Hoarder. Hoarded. Wanted to save everything as a memento recorded so I could relive memories. One day when I got old I could go back in time and see what tv shows I watched any day of the week.

Magazines. books. clothes. toys. My writings. Documents. School work. Telephone answering machine messages. 

Business cards.

Emails.  Names phone numbers addresses email addresses, notes about each person customer I dealt with.

Personal letters. Holiday greeting birthday christmas cards.

Music vinyl records then cassette tapes cds movies vhs dvds 

Family photographs. Pictures I took at jobs I had schools attended, places I have been, cars and homes apartments duplexes houses I owned or rented. 

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Monday, October 13, 2025

I can't buy time with anything, money included.

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Went out with girlfriend and sister in law to a bar and didn't drink..1990 or so

 I drove my car a dark brown 1972 Plymouth Satellite, to a bar on 40 highway in Independence, Missouri..I think it was Flamingo lounge, now closed and has been for years.

None of us had any money. We ordered water. For a few hours we sat at a table and watched people get drunk.

What fun that was. Some of the most fun I have ever had. Watching to crowd, like at general admission at a KC Royals baseball game. 

Two married men were at the bar. They begged us all 3 to come to their house to talk and visit.

I was curious as to why married men would even want to be around 3 strange women much less ask them to come over to one of the men's house.

So I have learned much over the years about this type of behavior. Men desire change of partners often either male or female partners depending on their sexual preferences. Some men seek it out. They are friends with men who do similar things so they think alike. 

Some men never act out their sexual fantasies about having all these women either one at a time or multiple people in their sexcapades.

I was always wanting to know why my husband at the time viewed porn frequently and went to strip bars whenever he had the chance. As far as I know, he usually went to these nudie bars with another man, a male friend or a family member. It certainly made me think he was unfaithful and did not love me. He just used me for slavery acts, sex, maid, work, make money, pay bills, convenient companionship.





at October 13, 2025 No comments:
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My grandson Damon

 his first fascination was air movement. vacuums. then water. pipes drains.

laundry washers dryers spinning things. grinders. blenders.

currently it is air again. flying things airplanes helicopters 

he doesnt seem too interested in fire or dirt earth. closest was sand he used to love to play with.

he is kind and very sensitive. he avoids people that seem loud harsh stern vulgar mean. 


at October 13, 2025 No comments:
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Sunday, October 12, 2025

She looks so young like she is 15..

 how old is she? 28 on october 13

born 1997

he keeps saying that every time he sees her

one day he will be lucky if he even sees a picture of me

i will not leave any of my photographs here. he will have to rely on his poor memory

he rarely looks at me anyway. would rather watch other people via media and in person

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Labels: Mls

4 hrs he was gone

 1030 am to 230 pm

said was going to menards

hahahaha


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Simplify my life

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Saturday, October 11, 2025

Power I have as woman not on my money

 A poor broke woman has a lot of power

She has what the rich man wants


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Friday, October 10, 2025

Wish I would have known when younger a child

 1000s of things

addictions are easy to form

personalities are unique to individual and are born that way, unchanging thru life

being healthy, strong, good looking, youthful is essential for survival and procreation; survival of the species

a pig person wallows in chaos and confusion and likes it that way

people have similar or same instincts traits characteristics as many other animals and/or plants or life forms as tiny as an atom

anything witnessed by another is emulated, imitated, judged

your existence, presence, words spoken, actions, creations and destructions are noticed. you are not invisible 

people and all life forms come up with creative ways to survive and get what they want

my old age  has irregular sleep, eating, weight loss. spurts of energy, many epiphanies

pets are like babies and children. men are often like pets.

a limited vocabulary often coincides with maturity

fools like to invent arguments with no solutions to pass the time

many mechanics few engineers architects

the baby child is tied closely to mom for many years. totally reliant on and scared and anxious when she leaves the room. as child ages it pulls away from mom during the many years from teen to adult.   until the end of life when moms memories dominate the mind once more.










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Labels: age, epiphanies, wisdom

Clean yourself and home first

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Happy is perfect and smart

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Wednesday, October 8, 2025

How am I able to feel cold creeping in

 it is 65 outside 73 inside my room. i should be warm but my feet and hands are cold


at October 08, 2025 No comments:
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Best way to become famous is to die

at October 08, 2025 No comments:
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Knight in shining armor is only a fairy tale lie

 appeals to fantasy desire of me and other females

what i was told existed in stories and never found

he is just a dream wish a phantom spider web thin and wispy in the air ..not real flesh and blood but a hallucination a fabrication from someone elses mind filled with delusions ....of grandeur beauty ecstasy safety love perfection...the thing that does not exist..the one thing sought on journey of life at the end of the rainbow ...

the elusive pot of gold out of the genies bottle rubbed by the delicate fingers of many feline females 

the reality is that he is a dirty devil wolf loves to capture little beauties and contaminate them qiickly then run off leaving her to fend for herself ...sometimes she ends up preg having to raise an infant she did not expect or produce by herself. he just wants fun for a few minutes self gratification of conquering possessing something beautiful for that moment and not wanting any responsibility of aftermath of what he has done produced created instinctively when he climaxed then suddenly forgot his pleasure just experienced.. he was relieved of his mysterious tension he does not understand and loses interest in her quickly after release of his fluids

she on the other hands bonds emotionally with this physical creature who protested never ending love admiration of her beauty 

she always remembers it cant forget 

natures tricks that ensure survival continuation of the species







at October 08, 2025 No comments:
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I am woman. Dont have to

 compete with anyone

break my back or mind to please

i just need to be me 

what i was born to be


at October 08, 2025 No comments:
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Little bitty I am becoming less here and lighter

 and dont know why 

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117 pounds lbs I weigh on scale today

at October 08, 2025 No comments:
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Leg spread best exercise for back pain

 splits

deep squats legs spread wide open as much as possible . the direct opposite of what we girls are told not to do

a movement supposed to be done solo solitary in privacy no one sees no witness no person observing it

however gymnasts do it all the time

and dancers dancing ...stars and celebs are paid by common public to perform this fantastic fundamental natural feat of the human body

men forbid wives to do it in front of anyone but them because of its powerful force when seen by males

and viewing the form of the behind butt with arched back is sexual turn on instantly to them and we are told not to do it even fully clothed

if i get in these positions it relieves back pain , makes me feel much better




at October 08, 2025 No comments:
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Slow burning simmering anger I have...

 finally culminated into realization epiphanies of life that have escalated to the point where my limit has been reached dealing with fools

tolerance level is at zero now


at October 08, 2025 No comments:
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Gary guys obsessed with beauty

 two mwen I know with the first name Gary..

one was a photographer i knew back in the 80s and 90s..he was always looking to get the perfect picture of a woman, an image he fantasized about and was obsessed with. I saw him one time in 1993 or 94 when I was talking to Dave Vajdic, the hoarder mess of a man who had buildings full of junk and he drank beer all day long living in the filthy mess he made. Neither Dave nor Gary had a woman in their life as both were undesirable money and material minded slothful fools.

Gary was insulting me by saying I didn't fit the picture of the woman he wanted to take picures of. She would have very long blonde hair and a different face and would be riding a horse just like Lady Godiva, the fantasy story from long ago. As far as I know Gary never found that perfect model subject to photograph and Dave never had a woman in his life. One time Dave told me that if I wasn't with Mike I would be with him. I said "I wouldn't be with you if you were the last man on earth. I'd rather be by myself."..... He was such a dirty pig with hair unshaven all over his face..long icky moustache and nasty hair on his head.

The other Gary I know is pretty old now. About 67. He is obsessed with a 28 year blonde girl young woman who lives in Russia. He says he talks with her over the internet and supposedly she is not after his money. I said "She is quite young and beautiful, her whole life ahead of her. Do you really believe she is interested and in love with you? She will probably want children and a family and it is doubtful you can provide that."  

He responds with "It's okay to dream isn't it?"

This Gary is a film movie freak obsessed with the media and says he has written books and produced films and the like. He loves hollywood and stars. The first time I met him was at a neighbors July 4 party and he was being very nice to me, staring at me as if he had fallen in "love". He was not attractive then, being overweight, fat and flabby and greasy looking face. Last time i saw him he had gained even more weight, fat belly and said he was working on his diet and exercise hoping to trim down that stomach and be healthier.



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Labels: beauty, gary, men, obsessed

human idolatry worship appears to be necessary

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I've known of lots of children over the age of 18

when adulthood is supposed to begin
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reporting bad behavior is considered bad

by those who have bad behavior
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Sunday, October 5, 2025

Every man in my life is a real mess/ some I knew in the past were the same

 impulsive, disorganized, can't plan anything

angry, self centered

work hard physically but not mentally


eat any kind of food laying around 

spontaneous

unclean


doesn't want to clean his room, space, areas

will not listen to me or anyone else

immature. childish


wants cake and eat it too

will spend large amts of money on frivolous stuff for self and save up for large expense like a car or truck or big job on the house

does not seek help and advice much from anyone else


asks silly questions

have to repeat myself constantly

foolish


runs himself ragged working too hard for money

avoids going to the doctor

asks for help from me then turns it down not listening to what he needs


acts stupified over why his life is such a mess..cant keep a job, cant get along with people, cant get or keep a woman around

says i dont i cant understand often over the simplest of things 

calls me a bitch and has zero understanding as to why i am frustrated which is directly due to his pig like and dog like animalistic neanderthal behaviors


will not work on himself, changes nothing about his words or behavior

thinks he knows how to fix others and gives silly advice often

lives in the dark in closed up house piles of stuff and junk all over the place


touches all kinds of things with dirty hands

one sneezes outward into the room does not cover face or sneeze into elbow

blows nose at the table while eating


picks nose when he thinks i am not looking does not wash hands

rewears stinky filthy clothes underwear socks shirts jeans pants 

does not air out stinking shoes boots





currently alive in my life:

mike/michael

kirk, tony, william, darin

ricky,  ed (2nd husband) 

steve josey,


dead ones:

john layson former co worker friend 2000 to 2023

perry montgomery 1st husband

john wilson, jr brother

jack wilson brother

jerry /gerald wilson, brother

jerry/gerald stillwell, brother in law

john lee stillwell, brother in law




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America's Sweetheart Female Idol and Male Idol

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Saturday, October 4, 2025

Truths. Will it set me free?

 History of my life reveals I have been the second choice, the last chosen , used for sex, convenience, as a roommate.

The ethical dependable one 

Paid very little money at all jobs and I have had a lot, done many kinds of work.

Partner and previous spouses boyfriends, associates, encounters have paid me very few compliments, shown minimal appreciation and attention as a person. The attention given is solely based upon what they can use me for ...Do this. Do that. 

 


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Friday, October 3, 2025

Grandma said he needs to know other men find you attractive

 one of the last words she had for me. she said it standing in my driveway that day she popped in unexpectedly. she was about 85 years old at the time driving a red pontiac fiero car she and grandpa had bought brand new.

she had really wanted a corvette. the fiero was similar and cheaper.


at October 03, 2025 No comments:
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Labels: grandma, grandma's words

Thomas Wright Tom

 Thomas Wright Tom


born in december about 5 years older than me. sagittarius sun sign.

last time i heard from him was about 2014. he had ordered a nancy sinatra cd from me and never got back with me on it. a few years ago i called him numbers they were disconnected. i called the lawn mower repair shop he had worked at. the man said tom had gotten sick diabetes and had to quit.


he ordered lots of things from me so i could earn money

customer met at super flea until i left there in september 2008


had me clean his apt in independence and he was a minimalist..was not much to clean as he tossed most of the things he had


basics in his place; tv, two recliner chairs in living room, movies to watch, bed and dresser in his bedroom, clothes


grabbed me when i was in the bathroom cleaning and said you are beautiful look in the mirror always remember it!

worked at lawnmower repair shop 


drank a 2 liter of coca cola daily straight from the bottle 


drank whiskey out of the bottle also and i never saw or heard him drunk intoxicated


ate lots of pizza and junk food

very large fat belly


only made a physical pass one time but did not try to rape me


gave me money for gasoline and cigarettes


filled my gas tank 

took me to dinner at nice restaurants like he took his mom mother to such as ruby tuesdays and red lobster


bought health care items for me like the time i had a really bad ear infection from swimming at longview lake


would call just to talk to me and see how i was doing

he told me when he was young man he worked at a place with a bunch of guys 

and girls would come in there to service them he did it took advantage of them 

and felt bad now as he got older about what he did. 

he did not love or care for them just used them for sex 

so being nice to women now is kind of a payback 

asking for forgiveness of the way he treated females along time ago

he was single never married that i knew of had no children kids


all he knew how to do is go to work at a lawnmower repair shop, feed himself

 a bunch of fast easy food from restaurants.

 he did not cook and had no interest in doing so

he would drive all the way over here to my house and sit in the driveway

talking to my husband. once he said one of his old female friends called him

and she came over strictly for sex. his words did not phase my husband. my 

husband did not care that i went over to tom's place and cleaned or that tom

bought me dinner many times and was giving me money, filling my gas task and buying me cartons of cigarettes and calling me on the telephone just to talk to me. he probably didn't care because tom had a hugh fat stomach like a santa claus

another guy who pursued me....and never got me



at October 03, 2025 No comments:
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Vitamin d3 k and calcium everyday since i saw dr endocrinologist

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hours in the kitchen again today

hours upon hours cooking washing about 4 sinks full of dishes 2 loads of laundry

still havent left the house


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Died my hair dark brown last night oct 1 2025

 revlon ammonia free. it looks almost black.


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Thursday, October 2, 2025

Charles Manson traits characteristics he has

 watched a video movie last night with lady named diana who described what manson did

striking similarities exist between charles and my husband michael

at first he appears very nice loving sweet kind and gentle

he has beliefs about how women should be, only speak when spoken to, dont do anything without his permission

paranoid the world is going to be taken over by those other than white caucasian people

obsession with fanatical beliefs, michaels is political and forces me to listen to it and watch it

control freak

tries to convert people with his beliefs thru force, putting bumper stickers on his car and truck, writing graffiti on park benches and in the picnic area shelter at cave springs park, making people watch videos online that he watches everyday all day long like x22 report frankspeech mike lindell tv ...he believes he is right wing republican and anyone who isnt and doesnt listen to these news sites is  a dumb ass idiot and stupid



at October 02, 2025 No comments:
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Labels: Mls

Repetition of behavior. History repeats itself.

 common of creatures 

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Wednesday, October 1, 2025

Lies I believed

 sex is love

man of my dreams exists..no it is just a dream

i am beautiful


i am intelligent, "gifted", "special", important, wanted, loved

hard work will get me love, i can earn it by deeds and looking good and agreeing with and going along with other people

people can change


people are good

people are honest

people love me or you for who you are not what you do or can do for them


people are out to help for no reason, no gain, no ulterior motive

people are out for the greater good for all (no, most humans are out for themselves and are self centered eogtistical creatures looking to get what they can from whoever and whatever is around be it attention, goods, gain, money, material things, food, sex, knowledge

iq determines desirability and procreation opportunities. no, it doesn't. it is based upon availability, attractiveness at the time of the encounter, the need for sex at the moment and wanting to get it regardless of the intelligence or material assets/money of the partner/person


if you love someone they will love you back


at October 01, 2025 No comments:
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Nobody I know of wants me happy

 except maybe one person, my grandson

the rest either ignore me,

 ghost me 

stay away

never invite me

do everything in their power to make sure that I am either crying or angry

sad or mad


at October 01, 2025 No comments:
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Who is he to determine who deserves anything?

at October 01, 2025 No comments:
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No person male man female woman meets all criteria I want

at October 01, 2025 No comments:
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Maintaining my sanity living with a fanaticm I do it alone

 My critical thinking skills, deep interest in human and animal behavior, curiosity, skepticism, practicality and upbringing have kept me alive 

Psychologists, mental health pros and helpful people on youtube and facebook have helped tremendously.


at October 01, 2025 No comments:
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Monday, September 29, 2025

Jacque went vegan. Downhill from there

 she was born dec 7 1950

i was born july 1961

around 2007 or 8 she decided to quit eating meat. craved bacon. dementia mood swings weight gain massive intake if diet soda and sweets. st johns wort. antidepressants.

she has been at a nursing home since about 2018 or 19


at September 29, 2025 No comments:
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How a person eats is their personality

at September 29, 2025 No comments:
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Learning to be clean and neat

 lifelong process .....

no food left out

counters cleaned off lean and easy to wipe up messes as i cook and prepare food

clean as you go esp with food


cleaning floors

dont put food outside. it attracts animals pests varmits bugs insects

vacuum often. daily is preferred


dont eat in front of people or animals




at September 29, 2025 No comments:
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Sunday, September 28, 2025

Draw or drawn to? Magetism opposites and likenesses.

at September 28, 2025 No comments:
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The things I want to do

 and do anything else but

to go thru my old journals and pictures

my life i spend most of it with household tasks selling stuff and sitting in the bathroom

.....and writing about the crazy man i live with

what a waste of life


at September 28, 2025 No comments:
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Saturday, September 27, 2025

Money cant

 buy time

rewrite past

change history


erase words said actions done

repair broken bones or spirits

fix character


clean up your reputation

make people forget or forgive

give you empathy, social intelligence


give you self confidence

speed up nature. physics

defy natural laws



at September 27, 2025 No comments:
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money cant pay for back surgery i vant have

 cant have surgery

screws rods wont stay bone loss osteoporosis

dr neurosurgeon said if they can eventually operate the rods are so long they start at t10 vertebrae

wont have flexibility of spine if i ever get it

stiff


at September 27, 2025 No comments:
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6000 work needed ok my 5000 van bought 6 uears ago

 in may 2019


at September 27, 2025 No comments:
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Catch 44

 double hard situations cant get out of no escape

at September 27, 2025 No comments:
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He is a mess

he leaves mess full of dirty dishes in the sink often. will wash them if i dont do it however doesnt want to use much soap stands there running water constantly just like when he is brushing teeth and combing hair in his bathroom


has trouble organizing and cleaning anything

bathroom is filthy mess 

bedroom, garage, sheds filled with clutter

stairwell from basement to garage stuffed with clutter old rugs, containers

basement windows; one is boarded up the other one covered with metal grate so no one can get in or out

metal grate covered window has an ugly orange rug mate covering window completely


at September 27, 2025 No comments:
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Labels: Mls

Cold turkey

 he makes people go cold turkey a thing he would not tolerate well at all

in 2010 i was forced to stop smoking cigarettes by him and almost died because i began consuming massive amounts of junk food

he removed all beer from william, tonys roommate last month not thinking about the consequences doing this to this man who is 73 years old and used to "nipping" all day long


what will happen when he has to go completely without his usual daily addictions and habits such as

sugar

money

freedom

news political

porn

hard manual labor work



high sugar intake

freedom to move about at home and go wherever he wants on a whim

spending money on countless things many which are useless harmful not necessary

physical labor he is used to doing what if he cant move anymore and is strapped down 



at September 27, 2025 No comments:
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He suddenly takes off at noon today

 supposedly to look at tony gomez's roof

yesterday he suddenly takes off around 1130 to noon is gone til 330 pm and supposedly just to go to menards and to cave springs park to walk


at September 27, 2025 No comments:
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Tolerance levels

 are different for each person, place, thing 

at September 27, 2025 No comments:
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Friday, September 26, 2025

Money can't remove the words you said

or punches slaps shoves you did
at September 26, 2025 No comments:
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Things said mls

 Makes me want to touch it grab it , when seeing females nude scantily clad dancing moving exercising

Now you know all you gotta do is put on maid outfits

Way she looks matters oh yes she can get anything she wants when she looks real good

She should understand screwing another when a woman throws herself at me you 

Any red blooded male would have sex with....

Legs lead up to crotch is why they are sexy

You're wearing eye shadow makeup mascara..notices immediately


You're not wearing that out of the house, short shorts, anything showing butt cheeks cleavage , camisole fitted , clothes showing shapely curves, high heels sexy shoes, hose netted stockings , any netted see through lacy items, 

You were flirting with him.. because you talked to him, 


You are not to do yoga in front of anyone even fully clothed

You are not allowed to let anyone in the house when I am not here

You are not allowed to let anyone in a bedroom. Makes people think things

You will not mock me or I will hit you shove push knock you down onto the floor but I can mock you anytime I want

I don't want to listen to what you have to say

I don't care what you want

I pay bills around here I bought you several vehicles I can say and do whatever I want and you will respect me

Saw a pretty black girl and thought if I were black I would go for that

Watching porn is not cheating it's no different than you using a dildo

You haven't been doing your duty

You don't work, you do anything and make excuses to get out of work

You don't do anything around here except maybe the dishes and laundry

Accused me of using sex as leverage

Sure he she liked you because you have a vehicle. They can use you.

At age 31 you are too old to go to school. You owe a student loan, you drink beer and smoke cigarettes. I'm not supporting you if you go you need to work a job and pay bills around here

That's not going to last. Referring to any job or activities I have or had

I don't want you hanging around them, anyone, your going to end up like them. I don't want them coming around here. No visitors.

You're not babysitting in this house

You're not selling Mary Kay amway or anything where people come over here.

I don't want people in here. They use up utilities and snoop around here and will steal things

You dont know what angry is. 

How much do you think that costs? Everytime he buys something.





at September 26, 2025 No comments:
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Some kick smear crap on you throw mud in your face

and expect you me to smile be nice pleasant perform work well and
act happy they didnt kill you 
at September 26, 2025 No comments:
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Baggy clothes

to cover my curves femininity
and now to not make my twisted back so visible..the prominent camel hump curve....looks like a huge stegosaurus stalagmite 
uglier than sin

over 10 years ago i wore baggy black shorts and an oversize shirt going for walks here in the neighborhood up the hills...parkwood to the trail on 98th terrace...into the woods and i walked most days ..i took food and water and paper little noteboook and pen
and i wrote and ate peanut butter sandwiches apples and i smoked
only way i got some exercise and maintained a little sanity
i had to dress in baggy unattractive clothes or he got pissed off angry mad 
i wore hiking boots or tennis shoes
used to take walkie talkies until they quit working




at September 26, 2025 No comments:
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Birds feather flock

to remain same reinforce beliefs 
maintain status quo

his buddies associates listen to each other
most of them are not married single , spend most of their time working for money, not the kinds of guys or men that women seek or want
immature adult males not savvy without a clue


at September 26, 2025 No comments:
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Effects of poverty upbringing and mentality

 hoarding disorder

causing home and storage units to be filled with junk that collects dirt, dust, mold, mildew, bugs, pests, insects and makes cleaning a very difficult chore

nothing is ever enough

family problems, communication issues with anyone especially those close to them like spouse, wife, husband, children, siblings, mother, father..all

social ineptitude

health destruction, mentally, emotionally and physically

difficulty with decision making. indecisiveness. procrastination..fear of making a mistake couple with impulsive behavior like gambling spending large amounts of money on frivolous stuff

addictions..any kind of like working too much or not enough, sex, accumulating things, alcoholism, perfectionism, smoking, drugs, memorizing useless trivia, political, religious, 

critical behavior of others and avoiding self reflection

paranoia paranoid thoughts about people stealing your stuff, lying, cheating, destroying

avoidance behavior

game playing 

obsessions




at September 26, 2025 No comments:
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Wednesday, September 24, 2025

Possible provocations provoking looks or behavior to some people

 the way you look

how you are dressed

your face facial expressions

your smell scent

shape of body

hair

laughter laughing 

smiling or not

avoidance behavior

too outgoing talkative

shy quiet demure acting innocent

activity movement

flesh shown skin seen especially chest rearend butt ass legs waist 



at September 24, 2025 No comments:
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IQ stress test of the century..

 dealing with this life this person

dont always know what to expect

chameleon

no test at school is a match for this

psychology of insanity


at September 24, 2025 No comments:
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Similar behavior

 of mike and marielle

she and he laying there acting weak and innocent 

suddenly into a violent rage

putting on sweet voice


hates smoking cigarettes marijuana pot anything

proud of own youthful appearance and beauty

into pictures


food mixing many different ones and gloating with milk and cookies

domineering master attitude

political she demo him republic


not wanting to properly clean house

hoarding

obsessed with sex. she says sex is pain relief. she thinks her privates are worth auctioning for a million dollars. he says its good exercise and a duty of wife. she tries to get it from anybody she can. she propositioned him the day we met her..him i dont know yet. 

argues dominates doesnt listen

she plays the victim when she is the predator with many victims .

he plays victim saying people want to take advantage of him 


obsessed with money expensive material things clothes her; makeup hair looks appearance


he hated her the day they met said i dont want anything to do with her. was it because he sensed she was so like him?



at September 24, 2025 No comments:
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Strategies i use for survival.....

 avoiding angry people at all costs

wasting my time explaining myself to fools ass holes narcissists idiots morons selfish people ..they ask me the dumbest questions and expect me to do stuff i am not capable of doing


starving myself. i started doing it when i was about 11 years old ..at that time it was because i was worried about getting fat due to the constant yelling from my grandpa and grandma about how i needed to exercise, push myself away from the table and if i didnt do these things i would be a fat lazy slob just like my mother... later on when i moved into my dads when i was 16 i really learned to starve myself due to yelling screaming about money and food then i got pregnant in march 1978 and was half starved and did not see a doctor obstetrician or gynecologist or any until i was 7 months pregant and by that time i was so anemic had dark circles under my eyes, pale as a ghost, weak as hell and dr prescribed 4 iron pills vitamins a day they were green square mineral tablets. 

then the starving continued again when i was married at 17 to a man who would not provide enough food for me or our baby and he did not want me to work ..we were getting welfare food stamps until may of 1979 when we got married. then i had the government stop sending food stamps because i wrongly figured we did not need them. i got down to 104 pounds. i rarely had enough food to eat but my grandma would bring baby food for our son so i could feed him. 

i left that man in 1980 july and moved in with a 20 year old male who insisted we live off hot dogs and macaroni and cheese processed food out of a box so in october 1980 when divorce was final i packed all my stuff in my car and left him.  i was working at a restaurant and was still skinny as a rail. serving food made me lose my appetite so i would wait until end of my shift to eat my free meal that came with the job at sambos restaurant in lees summit missouri... during oct november until december 31 i lived in my car and would sometimes stay with different people who felt sorry for me. they did not want me to eat their food so i was still malnourished and looking scrawny pretty bad.  2 different people i stayed with fed me potatoes because they were cheap. 

starvation began again in early 1990s when my brother and sister in law moved in and had food stamps and they ran out of food and began eating our food so i quit eating one time for 3 days because we couldnt afford to feed all of us with what they were doing. they lived with us more than a year. 

eating alone so i can have peace

walking

writing journal diary entries about things that have happened and the words people said straight out of their mouth to me and about others

sleeping at odd times. up late at night. oversleeping and under sleeping.


i used to dance but not much anymore..he destroyed that by stopping me from using the living room for dance floor and blocking me from playing music i like and insulting me for the way i look, how i talk, clean, the way my breath smells ridiculing just about everything about me ... the last few times i danced in the living room a few years ago it ended up in a sex session which i did not want to do. when i exercise dancing swimming or any other way or if i have a massage which is very rare the last thing on my mind is sex 


at September 24, 2025 No comments:
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Princess , fragile, beautiful, intelligent, sensitive

words people used to describe me many years ago...

adjectives
cute sexy attractive
fun smart
better

asked me to write letters notes for them because i have good handwriting and can spell
asked me to clean wash organize
for advice, to listen
go along for the ride and fun companion
call me to talk in the phone for hours


at September 24, 2025 No comments:
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My father my dad, a chain smoker

a business man wheeler dealer
always making and spending lots of money
memory like an elephant..photographic
excellent remembering people history dates road maps streets routes technical electrical codes

a 32nd degree mason shriner
a master electrician 
heavy coffee drinker early morning riser coffee until after dinner then alcohol beer whiskey wine

lover of people and animals
didnt know a stranger
family man
lots of friends business associates acquantances

avid reader
poor at spelling and handwriting
great at math

voracious eater
lover of life
fun loving

adored his children grandchildren kids brothers sisters mother father grandparents nieces nephews cousins .all his family

talked alot to anybody
neat freak 
broke dirty dishes if you left them in the sink said if you cant wash them you dont need them

minimalist
hard worker
planner organizer

pillar center hub of wheel family and electrical business
into celebrating and loved holidays

old spice mens cologne
clean shaven
bald headed early

left me no inheritance of money or material things gave me his spirit heart and lots of things money and experiences knowlege love wisdom while he was alive

encouraging helpful confident kind
dad is still with me in my heart and soul




at September 24, 2025 No comments:
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Tuesday, September 23, 2025

How whoring drugs bad food criminal activity go hand in hand

 starved malnourished abused intoxicated drugged up people cant think or feel straight or right

overworked under rested pepped up on speed poppers then put out with downers and alcohol and pain pills, only having barely enough rest expected to leap out of bed quickly daily running speeding to work in a frenzy to get money

exhausted in the middle of the day no naps or resting allowed. no peace meditation praying solitude stillness allowed. expected to rush about push themselves into the early grave ground.....

for what? lining fat pockets of elite rich they dont even know .,the elite who take their time never rush rest play and have leisure fun time all they want while they drive the majority around and cause them illness pain misery and often early death as the result of their medications prescriptions necessary to numb their pain physical and emotional , treat their metabolic disorder which was caused by someone else pushing them around to work harder, "do their best" keep up with the Joneses neighbors society and the world 

they are taught multitasking is what you have to do when elite would never be caught dead multi tasking

their surgical operations on organs skin and beauty

surgery , facelifts. tummy tucks breast enlargement butt enhancers, dermabrasion. nose jobs. butt lifts stomach stapling 


   


at September 23, 2025 No comments:
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His political obsession is fear based control

and destroyed relationships
with rick moore (guy he worked with carpenter had jobs with ihg international hotel group)

sister sherry(sharon) dorothy ann
me

neighbors sharon
possibly many i dont know about

He has fear of uncertainty, loss. death, lack of control, making mistakes (causing indecisive behavior and the opposite impulsiveness) , abandonment. being broke. missing out ....
full of anxiety anger impatience greed miserliness coldness cruelty with words to me and about others yet cant take any criticism correction direction tips advice from anyone


at September 23, 2025 No comments:
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Labels: obsession, political, politics

Hate the people and things

hate people you cant have or control

hate the ones you want and desire because they reject you

hate those who disagree differ from you or are different from the stereotype you expect

expect everyone to agree with you

expect all people and things to conform to your desires expectations demands needs wishes

expect people to read your mind

hate, fear, kill, abuse, hurt, harm, destroy, threaten, steal from, torture different ones, the opposers, and who and what you dont understand

kill the different ones. the opposing ones
the enemies 

at September 23, 2025 No comments:
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Labels: destroy, hate, kill

Give him her them what they want and they go away

 have sex with him he is done leaves the room goes to his room to sleep

feed the cat it .. then it is quiet calm and takes off to go nap


at September 23, 2025 No comments:
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Monday, September 22, 2025

Searching for answers. Lifelong procees

at September 22, 2025 No comments:
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He would rather watch others and own stuff

 he would rather watch movies and look at pictures of strange women in magazines instead of being a mature grown up man male partner who is respectful and loving to his woman


personal relationships with wife girlfriend spouse at work business are difficult impossible

he thinks he is the boss master in charge superior to the woman . he believes he is smarter and more important than her. 

he will dole out material things and money to her sometimes and talk down to her like she is a doormat slave and cant figure out why she is not happy.

he refuses to do things with her she likes 

he sits in the chair or on the sofa 

he gets in the way while she vacuums and cleans house

he doesn't want furniture moved around

his life is self gratification and satisfying himself as fast as he can often at the expense of others and disregarding others including and especially me

he spends large amounts of money on himself wont give me the time of day






at September 22, 2025 No comments:
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Labels: ecm, jwl, Mls

Sunday, September 21, 2025

Living crippled back disability is unbearable

 when living with a person with zero empathy who hates my guts




at September 21, 2025 No comments:
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Rather be dead than injured

at September 21, 2025 No comments:
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More slamming from the "devil" tonight before my dinner

Him " i see scratches on the cutting board mats that came with the kitchen counter. i wonder who did that? theres only one person who could have done that. you!

i told you i dont want those used as cutting boards. see that? i see 2 scratches on there. when did that happen?

you have a no care attitude and i dont like it. i spent alot of money on these cabinets and countertops (installed back in 2002) and i dont want them ruined.  "


and the crap went on and on back and forth about a half an hour. i came back with his no care attitude about what comes out of his mouth. about him leaving his personal belongings shoes boots coats shirts clothes gloves in the living room..

he said this is my house and i am not trying to please anyone else. 

i said that is the absolute truth with both statements. its your house and you are not trying to please anyone else. you dont care what anyone else wants or how they feel about anything 

(i didnt mention the and piles of things boxes large paper grocery sack of his receipts , mail. papers. stacks of misc junk piled on the table next to his recliner chair. tools on living room floor. unused humidifier vhs tapes old holiday cards on wood ledge by the phone he inconveniently put in the middle of the living room

... and piles of junk and junkfood on the kitchen table. he likes to stack up and clutter the kitchen table with bottles of sauce,  bags of chips, bars, huge container of taco bell sauce. used tea bag in small condiment sauce cup, fly swatter, dirty napkins, unclean placemat under his plate, jar of peanut butter. etcetera)


Earlier today we were talking in the garage about him thinking about getting a different car and how much money it costs to have a good running dependable car. 

I said why dont we have much money? I never had a high paying job. Bosses expect you to go to work regardless of the weather. They dont care if your car rusts to pieces. Here you are fixing major rust issues by doing fiberglass repair on your car and youre the one who has complained about driving in the salt and how it rusts cars since U met you in 1987..."

He had enough of me and exclaimed 

"You need to go away! All you do is talk! What good are you doing me?!"


So the notches in his bedpost are less and getting fewer with me. each time he opens his mouth his foot is right in it along with his ass.

And a few hours before dinner he was looking at some homemade vhs tapes i put on the table for him to look at to decide what to view keep or toss. I said i dont trust homemade tapes from other people. I trust the tapes we made many years ago. We recorded 2 or 3 movies off tv on each tape. 

He says why dont you trust tapes made by other people! Maybe they put a sex movie on it?

I said it was 2 things i am concerned about. Quality and content. I never thought about somebody recording a sex movie in the middle of something marked otherwise.

I told him i remembered one of those people who helped sell stuff at john laysons estate sale told me she worked in houses of other people who would play sex movies in the living room while she and others were working on getting the sale ready. 

he said if someone did that i would think they are trying to provoke me (into having sex)

He asked me what i would do if someone played sex movies while i was working at their house. i said i would tell them i dont like it and i am leaving the premises if you keep playing it. Then i would leave and never go back. 

"What if you were attracted to a guy who did that?" he asked. 

"I would leave and never go back. Sex tapes are a turn off to me and i wouldnt do anything with the guy even if i were attracted to him. If he played movies like that I am gone forever."

i said what would you do in that situation. he said i wouldnt say anything and keep working. 

i said i find that unbelievable with you. if you were attracted to a woman who played sex tapes youd probably take advantage of the situation have sex with her and come back for more .



the day was filled with nasty comments mockery sarcasm hateful atttitude loud voice antagonism from him AGAIN. as usual.







at September 21, 2025 No comments:
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Labels: Mls

Saturday, September 20, 2025

Am I an armchair idiot imbecile moron? Or am I a silly studying student wannabe savant?

at September 20, 2025 No comments:
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So far I haven't been aware of a person who did not want to feel important. Even the most hardened criminal wants to look good.

So far I haven't been aware of a person who did not want to feel important. Even the most hardened criminal wants to look good.

at September 20, 2025 No comments:
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No cure for the following:

 No cure for the following: Insanity, paranoia, low self-esteem, arrogance, impatience, impoverished damaged childhood, stupidity, foolishness, curiosity, broken bones or spirit, childish acting adults.

at September 20, 2025 No comments:
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You just know how to talk dont you. just go away. What good are you doing me?

 You just know how to talk dont you. just go away. What good are you doing me?

words straight out of his mouth a few minutes ago.



at September 20, 2025 No comments:
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Labels: Mls

Thursday, September 18, 2025

My dad would laugh and jokingly say "All I know is what I read in the papers!"

at September 18, 2025 No comments:
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I see better when I am further away from the object /scene/situation

 

at September 18, 2025 No comments:
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he does not want to

 do things for others. 

will do things for money. self satisfaction gratification, physical pleasures like eating, sex

clean his room

do laundry, deep clean house

cook or make prepare own food or cook for others

raise children

relate to others

empathize

(will work hard or long hours for material gain, to boost ego, own material things)

seek spirituality understanding

do something for someone else for free

self analyze, reflect

respect, appreciate his mother

enjoy simple things

admit his mistakes. shortcomings

follow rules. laws guidelines 

go to the doctor






at September 18, 2025 No comments:
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Labels: ecm, jwl, lfm, mcm, Mls

Wednesday, September 17, 2025

Why media books movies music electronic stereo equipment ?

 why have I been loaded with all of these things?


at September 17, 2025 No comments:
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I think he means well sometimes and other times directly opposite

 he does many things right. pays bills on time. changes oil in vehicles regularly. maintains house car his truck my van. sometimes buys something for me for my birthday or christmas or randomly like new sheets pillows cases or another thing i mention if i said i like it such as the red plastic bucket he got for me at menards. he typically takes a shower in the morning because he is worried about his hair looking a mess and cant figure out how to wet it with a comb to make it straight, showers after doing hard manual labor in the yard or mechanic work or other dirty jobs. 

i believe many years ago when he was a child and teen and in his 20s he was really trying to learn how to do the right things and look good and keep up appearances. over the years and all the accumulation of tons of stuff it has been getting more difficult to keep everything and maintain it all correctly. 

he does not seem to understand that bugs insects pests dust accumulate more and more and hide it all places making it very difficult to live in a clean home. once in awhile he will wipe down things and discover just how dirty things are. 

he does not seem to understand basic hygiene practices for cleaning and preventing spread of germs and illnesses. he cant understand easily that all things have a shelf life and freezer life and will go bad and not last forever. he always says oh that will be good for a long time, it is sealed, it is in a can or other sealed container.

he has no filter on his mouth and does not understand that he cannot take his words back, that i and people remember and dont forget what he said. 

at September 17, 2025 No comments:
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Labels: Mls

Clean My House First

 especially before trying to clean someone else's home or place or business



at September 17, 2025 No comments:
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Tuesday, September 16, 2025

Does not always follow instructions safety rules or reaearch how to do

 fiberglass auto body work safety rules not followed

used lacquer thinner instead of water and soap to clean paint sprayer with latex paint

gets used clothes and things from thrift stores garage sales does not wash launder says it smells good

reuses black filthy rags for many things without washing 

leaves piles of dirty damp rags in his shower causing black mold any color or type

puts his finger around neck of sauce bottles to clean thinks it is ok sanitary

picks digs nose pets cat handles lots of things does not always wash hands before eating or handling food

sneezes face uncovered into any room spreading germs

piles of miscellaneous any and everything into rooms bathroom bedroom garage sheds cars trucks stacking boxes crates shelves into closets does not wipe down move clean remove dirt dust residues 

picks up trash scrap anywhere 

loads trash scrap junk into vehicles sets piles up against the house 

throws tosses food and catfood cans in middle of backyard

tosses garbage food scraps into garden causing more bugs and pests raccoons oppossum rodents snakes

rewears several times and piles up filthy clothes on his bedroom floor due to cost of using water, soap, electricity, washing machine

does not always flush toilet

piles of bottles rags in his shower does not scrub clean walks or shelves in the shower

bathroom not clean. dirty toilet floor walls sink vanity. shower filthy soap scum mold mildew dirt


not using clean sheets in his bed in garage or his bedroom. same old dirty sheets linens for months

tosses dirty and filthy clothes downstairs onto laundry room floor it will stay there until i wash the clothes

tore out old windows installed new in the house. did not read instructions or research info. used flat wood boards on base and expanding foam. not sealed properly. no insulation in bedroom wall south side.

tiles on floors in 2 bathrooms hallway living room kitchen not laid according to professional instructions

master bath trim not finished or installed no baseboard 

electric switches baseboard heaters

used old railroad ties south and east side backyard they rotted did it to hold dirt to fill in level yard

trees not trimmed front and back yard

garage stuffed with lots of old useless stuff

many years ago pipe broke in crawl space water leaked burst into wall in back of master bathroom sink when he turned on faucet in front of house. he failed to drain water hose and remove from faucet before winter

chimney fire april 3, 2025 due to him not cleaning chimney and burning firewood daily for 6 months

boarded up one of 2 basement windows, put metal bars over other window so cannot exit house thru either window in event of fire or other hazard

dug out hole east side house installed sump pump the room still fills with water it didnt work right because he didnt research water drainage for this house how to do it properly

he spent 18k at foundation company . they dug deep hole in crawl space under master bedroom floor for draining water during heavy rains










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 https://fiberglasswarehouse.com/blogs/news/safety-first

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Fiberglass auto repair he is doing in the enclosed garage here at home. Not using proper safety precautions at all

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For automotive repair, working with fiberglass requires serious safety precautions to 
protect yourself from airborne particles, chemical fumes, and skin irritation. Proper personal protective equipment (PPE) and a well-ventilated workspace are essential to prevent both short-term discomfort and long-term health risks. 
Personal protective equipment (PPE)
  • Respirators: A simple paper dust mask is not sufficient for fiberglass dust and hazardous resin fumes. Use a dual-cartridge respirator with filters for both organic vapors and fine particulates (P100 or N95). A full-face respirator offers the best protection, covering your eyes and face as well.
  • Eye protection: Wear chemical-resistant goggles that provide a tight seal around your eyes to protect against dust, fibers, and liquid splashes. Side-shield safety glasses are not enough.
  • Gloves: Standard latex gloves do not offer adequate protection against harsh resins and solvents. Use heavy-duty, chemical-resistant gloves, such as nitrile, especially when handling epoxy resins.
  • Protective clothing: Wear disposable coveralls or loose-fitting, long-sleeved clothing and pants to prevent fiberglass fibers and resin from irritating your skin. Coveralls with hoods and booties provide maximum protection. After working, remove and wash these clothes separately from other laundry. 
Ventilation and workspace safety
  • Well-ventilated area: Work in a garage with open doors and windows or use fans to circulate fresh air. The fumes from polyester resins contain flammable and toxic styrene, and even less-fuming epoxy resins require good airflow for safe curing.
  • Dust control: Sanding fiberglass releases fine glass fibers and resin dust into the air, which can cause respiratory issues.
    • For heavy sanding, use a vacuum attached to your power tools to collect dust at the source.
    • Use a wet sanding method for a finer finish and to minimize airborne dust.
    • Use a HEPA-filtered vacuum for cleaning up dust, as sweeping can kick up fine particles.
  • Fire safety: Many fiberglass components are flammable.
    • Work away from sparks and open flames.
    • Keep a fire extinguisher and sand nearby.
    • Never put out a plastic fire with water.
  • Chemical handling: Always read the Material Safety Data Sheet (SDS) for any resins, catalysts, or solvents you are using. This document details the specific hazards, PPE requirements, and first-aid measures. 
Good hygiene and waste disposal
  • Cleanliness: Keep your workspace clean and tidy. Avoid eating, drinking, or smoking in the work area.
  • Personal hygiene: Wash your hands and face thoroughly with soap and warm water after handling fiberglass materials. Do not rub irritated skin, as this can embed fibers deeper.
  • Waste disposal: Double-bag fiberglass waste in heavy-duty contractor bags to prevent fibers from escaping. Check with your local waste management or hazardous waste disposal facility for proper procedures, as fiberglass is not regular household trash. 
  • Safety First! | Working with Fiberglass and Resin Products
    Jan 29, 2025 — Safety First! Working with Fiberglass and Resin Products. As a hobbyist, “do-it-yourselfer” or professional, it is important to take the necessary precautions w...
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    Fiberglass Warehouse
  • Fiberglassing Instructions - Harvey Mudd College
    In addition, there are several safety items you must pay attention to: * Inhalation hazard: Fiberglass dust and short glass fibers can cause serious respiratory...
    favicon
    Harvey Mudd College
  • Safety in Composites | Fibre Glast
    Sep 23, 2024 — The small fibers will travel through the air, so care must be taken to avoid breathing these fibers. Often a dust mask is satisfactory, but a respirator offers ...
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    Fibre Glast
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Videos
12:25
YouTube · Classic Motorsports
How To Repair Fiberglass: Step-By-Step Guide
YouTube · Classic Motorsports
May 7, 2020
Today I'll show you a little bit about how we do fiberglass work.
11:19
YouTube · Fish Bump TV
HOW TO Stay CLEAN and SAFE WORKING With ...
YouTube · Fish Bump TV
Sep 21, 2024
Learn about PPE for fiberglass work, including masks, gloves, painter suits, spray socks, and vacuum cleaners.
15:16
YouTube · RESTOMOD 101
How to Do Fiberglass Repair
YouTube · RESTOMOD 101
Nov 21, 2019
Learn how to repair fiberglass by grinding, applying resin, and sanding.
18:03
YouTube · Bill's Build & Race
Avoid Common DIY Fiberglass Mistakes
YouTube · Bill's Build & Race
Apr 28, 2023
Don't make your first fiberglass job too big because the larger they are the more skills and experience you need.
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Safety First! | Working with Fiberglass and Resin Products


Fiberglass Warehouse
https://fiberglasswarehouse.com › blogs › news › safety-f...
Jan 29, 2025 — You should wear a respirator mask when cutting fiberglass, spraying gel coat or resin, working with solvents, or sanding the finished laminate.
Discussions and forums
Safety when working with resin and fibreglass
FOIL.zone · 
5 years ago
 · 
Wear gloves for fresh epoxy and use a real face mask when sanding. Thats the go to method and has been for decades. Don't rely on one throw away ...  More
Evaluate my fiberglass repair - safety sensitive location
Corvette Forum · 
4 years ago
 · 
Is fiberglass easy to work with? Is it dangerous?
Quora · 
3 answers
 · 10 years ago
 · 

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Any tips for working with fiberglass? : r/Autobody


Reddit · r/Autobody
20+ comments · 2 years ago
Rub it over your skin before doing anything with fibreglass and it will block your skin pores so the fibres can't get in there and prevents you ...
26 answers · Top answer: I coat the insides of my nitrile gloves in baby powder, as well as my arms and inside of ...
Missing: precautions ‎| Show results with: precautions

Fibreglass Repairs: Best Practices and Guidelines


Resin Library
https://www.resinlibrary.com › fibreglass-repair-tips
A general procedure for making repairs to a damaged surface using a fibreglass repair kit is listed below. 1. Allow the site to dry out: avoid all sources ...

Mastering Fiberglass Auto Body Repair


Blue Star Brothers
https://www.bluestarbrothers.com › mastering-fiberglass...
Wear appropriate safety gear to protect yourself from harmful fumes and particles. Practice on small test pieces before tackling larger repairs. Keep your work ...

Glasswork: Fiberglass Bodywork Tips | Articles


classicmotorsports.com
https://classicmotorsports.com › articles › glasswork-fib...
You will need to wear rubber gloves, protect your work area with a drop cloth or old newspaper, and keep the stuff out of your eyes. Grinding fiberglass will ...

Repairing Fiberglass : 7 Steps (with Pictures)


Instructables
https://www.instructables.com › Workshop › Repair
When working with these materials it is important to wear a respirator, gloves, and safety glasses. It is advised that you wear a paint suit to cover all skin ...

How to Use Fiberglass Cloth for Automobile Repairs


DoItYourself.com
https://www.doityourself.com › stry › how-to-use-fiber...
Feb 7, 2010 — Start by using coarse-grain sandpaper on the entire area on and around the repair. The surface has to be scuffed until it's smooth to the touch ...
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Mastering Fiberglass Auto Body Repair: Your Comprehensive ...
Mastering Fiberglass Auto Body Repair: Your Comprehensive ...
Blue Star Brothers
How To Repair Fiberglass: Step-By-Step Guide
How To Repair Fiberglass: Step-By-Step Guide
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  • impossibe
  • independence
  • injury
  • inspiration
  • instincts
  • intelligence
  • intelligent
  • interests
  • internet
  • intestinal issues
  • intuition
  • invent
  • inventions
  • invest
  • investments
  • iq
  • jealousy
  • jealousy. strength
  • jobs
  • john
  • journal
  • jumping
  • junk
  • jwl
  • kid food
  • kill
  • kitchen
  • knowledge
  • labs
  • lady
  • layson
  • laziness
  • lazy
  • leaders
  • learning
  • lessons
  • lessons learned from men
  • lfm
  • lies
  • life
  • life lessons
  • listen
  • listener
  • little things
  • liver
  • living cheap
  • living things
  • lone
  • loose lips
  • love
  • macaroni
  • magnetic
  • maintenance
  • makeup
  • males
  • man
  • manipulation
  • march
  • markeitng
  • material things
  • matter
  • mcm
  • mds
  • me
  • mean
  • meaning
  • meat
  • medications
  • memories
  • men
  • mental
  • mental illness
  • metabolic
  • metabolism
  • mhb
  • micro manager
  • mildew
  • mind
  • minimalism
  • mitchell
  • Mls
  • mocked
  • mocking
  • model
  • moderation
  • mold
  • mom
  • money
  • money saving
  • mother
  • multi-tasking
  • music
  • my back
  • my dad
  • my father
  • myths
  • nagging
  • name
  • narc busting
  • narcissist
  • narcs
  • narrator
  • natural
  • nature
  • neat
  • negative
  • negativity
  • neighbors
  • news
  • nice
  • night owl
  • night person
  • nocturnal
  • noodles
  • not for sale
  • nurture
  • nutrition
  • obituary
  • obsessed
  • obsession
  • oil
  • omega-3
  • omega-6
  • open minded
  • opposite
  • optimistic
  • organized
  • organizing
  • osmosis
  • otc
  • p
  • pain
  • pain relief
  • PARALYSIS
  • paranoia
  • paranoid
  • parenting
  • parents
  • passionate
  • pasta
  • patience
  • patient
  • patterns
  • peace
  • people
  • personality
  • phenylalinine
  • philosopher
  • philosophy
  • physical
  • physical therapy
  • physiology
  • pictures
  • pie
  • pku
  • plaque
  • POCKET
  • poem
  • political
  • politics
  • population
  • porn
  • pornography
  • positive
  • possessions
  • possible
  • poverty
  • pre seasoned
  • premade
  • prescription
  • pride
  • primary
  • private
  • prm
  • probiotics
  • processed
  • procreate
  • procreation
  • psychiatric
  • psychology
  • puberty
  • public
  • purpose
  • queen
  • quotations
  • quotes
  • rap
  • real
  • reality
  • realization
  • religion
  • resistance
  • respect
  • restaurant
  • restaurants
  • revenge
  • ridicule
  • right
  • rlw
  • rolls
  • roosters
  • round
  • rude
  • rush
  • sales
  • sanitized
  • sarah
  • sarah mertz
  • sarah montgomery
  • sarah stillwell
  • sarah wilson
  • saturated
  • save
  • savings
  • schizophrenia
  • schizos
  • school
  • science
  • scoliosis
  • secrets
  • self
  • self propelled
  • sem
  • sense
  • senses
  • serious
  • sesame
  • sex
  • sexy
  • shapes
  • she
  • shoes
  • shopping
  • shows shape
  • shut up
  • simple
  • simplicity
  • skin
  • skincare
  • skinny
  • slave
  • sleep
  • smart
  • smile
  • snakes
  • social security
  • social security disability
  • socializing
  • society
  • socrates
  • soda
  • solitary
  • solitude
  • solo
  • sophisticated
  • sorting
  • sovereignty
  • spainhour
  • speak
  • sperm
  • spine
  • spinning
  • spirit
  • spiritual
  • spring cleaning
  • squat
  • squatting
  • ssdi
  • ssi
  • standards
  • statistics
  • stereotype
  • stigma
  • stories
  • Story of my life
  • story teller
  • stress
  • stretching
  • success
  • successful
  • sugar
  • sugary
  • summer
  • sun
  • sunshine
  • survival
  • sweat glands
  • sweep
  • sweeping
  • sweet
  • T12
  • talk
  • talk too much
  • talking
  • tartar
  • taxes
  • teacher
  • teaching
  • teenager
  • teeth
  • telling
  • testosterone
  • the word is god
  • thinking
  • time
  • tips
  • tired
  • tools
  • tornado
  • trade
  • traits
  • transfer
  • tribal loyalty
  • tricks
  • true
  • truth
  • tsunami
  • tubes
  • tylenol
  • understand
  • understanding
  • unhealthy
  • unique
  • university
  • unsaturated
  • upbringing
  • upset
  • vagus nerve
  • vanity
  • veg
  • vegetables
  • virus
  • vitamin d
  • vitamin k
  • wall
  • war
  • warning
  • water
  • wealth
  • weight
  • weight loss
  • wheat
  • whining
  • white flour
  • why
  • why i have no friends
  • why not
  • wife
  • win
  • wind
  • windows
  • windy
  • winners
  • wisdom
  • without me
  • woman
  • women
  • word meanings
  • words
  • work
  • workaholic
  • world
  • writing
  • wrong
  • XRAY
  • yeokum Jr high
  • yourself

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Sarah Stillwell can't get disability

Sarah Stillwell can't get disability
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