Met when both 21 and broke
20 years later
She still wants love. He still wants money. Thinks women want his money.
She complied. He still demands.
Walks all over her.
Some people give in, give up themselves. Help someone else get what they want.
Others take whatever they can get and help themselves.
In the beginning all of him was good. In my eyes. In my heart. He had my devotion. I should say I gave him my heart. He didn't give me his but I didn't realize it at the time. Blinded by my hormones and wishful thinking I ignored every red flag there was.
Sex was good. It has always been good. The best of anyone I have ever been with.
Things about him looked great to me. He fit the bill for the man I had been searching for. Single. Nice appearance: fit and clean. Intelligent. Kind, patient, calm, gentle, not pushy. Didn't take advantage of me. Slow, steady. Humble. Reliable. Honest. Detail oriented.
As time went on he became the opposite of all of those things except his physical appearance.
I realize now that one can live with someone else for years and not really know everything about them. I only know what I have experienced in his company.
I am sure there are many more facets of him I am not aware of. The only way to find out would be if I were invisible and right with him at every moment so I could see what he does when I am not with him.
The causes of his behavior has been a major source of my life. I live with this man. I have lived with him since December 15, 1991. It is now January 7, 2025.
From and including: Sunday, December 15, 1991 To, but not including Tuesday, January 7, 2025
Result: 12,077 days
It is 12,077 days from the start date to the end date, but not including the end date.
Or 33 years, 23 days excluding the end date.
Or 396 months, 23 days excluding the end date.
It has consumed massive amounts of my time that I could have spent and doing things I want to do. I could have been much more productive and enjoyed my life much more had I not spent everyday for years in a chronic state of anxiety and hypervigilance due to him.
I thought he was erratic because of what he eats. So I focus on food and read ingredients on labels to him. He has now become more aware of that and reads labels.
He made a few small changes but nothing serious and still eats and drinks lots of junk. Sweets, breads, cookies, cakes, pies, dried fruit (cranberries), candy, cranberry juice, sweetened tea (premade lipton green tea and arizona tea (he used to drink aldis brand sweet green tea for years then they changed the formula so he quit drinking it and switched), alcohol like flavored rum (a shot before he goes to bed). Not sure exactly when he developed the alcohol habit at night, however I remember him bringing home those travel size bottles of liquer a few years ago. Once he said he found them alot at the park he goes to walk. People throw the bottles on the ground.
He likes to try different types and flavors of whiskey, vodka, rum, etc so he buys these little bottles at the front checkout of the grocery store. Price chopper is one of the stores I know about because he bought some there when I was with him one time.
He brought home a white fancy bottle of flavored rum, RumChata Rum Cream, 750 ml for $18.68, from Sams Club a couple of weeks ago. He told me he believes this alcoholic drink makes his fingernails grow because it has cream in it. (Probably wishful thinking bullshit like lots of other things he believes.) He bought lots of other items, all processed food: rotisserie chicken, french silk pie, carrot cake, individual cans of pineapple juice and other things. He loves those sweets and will consume the entire cake and pie, one piece at a time. If I don't eat any he eats it all. I don't like that stuff, anyway.
The woman neighbor across the street, Sharon, may have been the one who introduced him to this funky habit of buying little bottles of wine and liquor. She has given him christmas gifts of bottles of individual serving wine and liquor. She gives him those bite size and small candy bars and various types of sweets.
The neighbor, Chris, who used to live next door, drank beer, liquor and smoked pot. So one day many years ago Mike asked Chris where is a good place to get Miller lite in the bottles because Mike likes it. Chris told him that store off of wornall close to 84th street has the best price so mike began going there to buy that beer. Chris died in July 2023 at St Joseph medical center. Mike drove my van and I was in the front seat with Chris and ellen in the back seats. That is the last time we saw him.
I thought more sex would calm him down. That didn't work.
I thought less sex would calm and straighten him out. That didn't work.
I thought discussing each thing about life and why anyone does what they do would help. That doesn't seem to have even made a dent in his understanding of anything about human nature much less himself.
He refuses to look at himself in the mirror or at his behavior.
He projects his behavior onto me. Today was another incident where he said I was being mean and a bitch, raising my voice. Yesterday he started this shit of telling me that I need to speak in a soft voice when he was the one yelling and whining and being nasty, as usual.
He had asked me what hamburger I used to make the goulash today. I didn't answer correctly. Then he said I was being a bitch.
however I have to listen closely for the footsteps
so it is still like a chronic state of hypervigilance
If I am writing or reading I can't have any noise such as radio, tv or internet playing otherwise I wouldnt be able to hear when he comes down the stairs and often opens my door. If he sees a light on in my bedroom he almost always opens my bedroom door.
Blocking the gaps around the door somehow is an idea I came up with many months ago when I finally realized that it's when he sees a light coming out from around my door he opens it to see what I am doing.
He does get up during the night alot and I never know what time he will be up. No regular "pop-in" schedule.
he likes
groundhog day
cast away
cape fear
vin diesel
pitch black
james bond
westerns
short tragedy skits flixxy
somewhere in time
anne of green gables
fools gold
comedies 3 stooges
new age
pandora free version
black sanbath
kansas
he thinks he knows what another person thinks
he assumes everyone thinks and feels and experiences what he senses
being thin is good. having lots of money is good.
returning to my original real self is even better
moving away where no one knows me and never discussing the past is even better than that
I am not your maid, sex slave, healer, doctor, nurse
I am not your psychologist, counselor, shoulder to cry on
I am not your cook, laundress, house cleaner
Fix your own food, clean up your own messes, jack yourself off or find another way to get off
I am not your tax preparer. I am not your room mate
I am supposed to be your wife
I am not your dream
I can't fix or solve your problems or issues
I am not your doormat fool idiot slave
the one you curse at, call bad names, threaten, humiliate, ridicule, shove, hit, knock down onto the floor whenever you are pissed at someone or something else
I am not the dog you rub its face in its own piss and shit then kick and throw out the door
I am not here to cover your mistakes
I am not here to make you look good while you shit in my face
I am not your toilet
I am not here to wipe your nose or your ass
I am not your surrogate replacement just good enough woman that you screw when you get horny when you really want to have sex with that dream girl perfect woman girl you will never get
You are not my master. I am not your slave.
I do not owe you anything. You owe me everything and will never be able to pay for the emotional and spiritual damages you have done to me. No amount of money or material things will ever pay for what you said and did.
My health has never meant anything to you. Physical or mental. You dont want any responsibility for anything about me. Yet you took it upon yourself to pay for certain things in order to take control of my life.
My education never meant anything to you. At first you said do what you like regarding me going back to school then changed your mind after i moved in and did everything in your power to prevent me from obtaining any higher education. Even free classes at longview college for computer skills upset you way back in 1998 1999 ..you yelled and said it cost gas money to go there was worthless i wouldnt learn anything and didnt need it period. that i would never learn or be able to do anything with computers or any other type of advanced school/education.
You do not want my help with anything
You do not need my help or advice on anything
You do not want my company companionship or presence in your life
You want sex and make zero effort to get or do things for my health including things like buying lubricant or lingerie for me. You buy me nothing in those areas and expect me to be wet and look cute and sexy in outfits you never bought for me.
You want the free ride and all of the goodies from me then tell me constantly for years that I do nothing around here. You tell me that I expect a free ride when it is you that expects me all for free and you dont have to do much for or with me at all.
I am supposed to jump and run in an instant you want something yet you take your sweet time when i ask for a basic thing and often throw a huge fit if i mention anything that needs done that might cost money or effort even though I am willing to do whatever work I am able to do to fix something or make this place look better.
You are supposed to be a grown mature adult man
instead you act as if i am a renter and you are the boss of all in here and own my mind heart body and soul
you act as if you are the only one who lives in this house and take over each room in it including my only room, the master bedroom which is supposed to be mine. popping in here, opening my door whenever you want as if i have no boundaries and no real space of my own. you grab any object of mine you see as if it is yours.
I have a broken crooked twisted back and do not look like I did when I was in my 20s or even 40s. Still some men and boys find me attractive. I do not want any of them. I have a ton of healing to do before I even think about involving myself with anyone.
I am being silent. I am going to quit talking. You do not listen, dont want to hear me anyway. All of my efforts to communicate have been in vain. Talking does no good. You are a brick wall. You think you are strong because you have muscles.
One day it will be cest le vie for good and there will be no warning. I disappear from all. My presence will be naught zero none. You will be ecstatic and very happy when you have the entire place to yourself. You never wanted a wife anyway. Just a person who is a room mate to pay bills and do dirty work run errands be a care taker to watch the house when you are gone.
I am not here to fix things for other people
I am not here to solve your problems and figure things out for you
she is what i need to be
the quiet calm beautiful lady
sleek one who does her own thing
smiles and cocks her head in knowing glances
Never gossips....she talks softly or lightly in a high pitch like a little girl
appears innocent and may be guilty but never allows anyone in close enough to find out
she holds her own. never compares herself to anyone
does not give advice and if asked for feedback is vague and acts ignorant and instead asks him/her
what do you think, what would you like, what do you want???
she goes off on her own
a mystery ... and no one really knows her past or what she does all day
she keeps herself secret
she is confident but never brags about anything or anyone
she knows how to tell perfect white lies (this is what i need to do)
when someone asks her a question regarding her thoughts, feelings,
status, family, work/job or how she is and feels
she dresses modestly in clothes that fit her right for the occassion
she never yells cusses screams or acts rude at anytime
she does not blast her personal life to anyone or on the internet social networking sites
no one knows how much money she has
her finances are kept to herself
no one knows about her sex life or if she has one as she never talks about it
she sits high on the top of a mountain looking down
patiently watching the world around here as it goes around with foolish clowns
she rarely comes down to be visible to and "strike" her prey, a perfectly delectable male.only the best will do
she is never desperate for anything; attention, food, money
just quit running around
thinking ahead and doing all that stuff he so much doesnt give a crap about..
all the things i do and have done... he ignores, minimizes and
gives not one shit about
what i DO doesnt matter at all
why do anything ?
when all he wants to do is have his face inside a tv screeen
and headphones over his ears so he can
LISTEN to this and them and Block me out
another one .. the man who ignored his wife who did all
the dirty work at his business and took care of the home and her
family had money that is why he married her
and all while
he focused on himself, his business and money
his wife was actually a very pretty and socially fine lady
Lynne clawson
jack didnt want to talk to anyone or communicate
just like my husband mike
jack was rough and brief in speech, even mean
curt short impatient
and he, too found some pleasure in looking at a pretty face other than his own wife
I suppose the man/men gets tired of looking at and listening to the woman he has, the woman who does most of the shit work and socializing entertaining and child rearing
he does not want to look at her or listen to her say anything
he wants to look at every other female he thinks is attractive, cute, pretty, dainty
just like tons of movies and stories and fairy tales
like the diary of a mad housewife
he constantly says leave me alone and go away
so i am
here in my bedroom
probably for the whole day during this blizzard
My grandpa used to mock me and say that I said
"I Vant to be alone" like Greta Garbo
another silly male..grandma called him an educated idiot
he once told me little girls realized the power they had over men when the girl was
around age 5 or so
he, too, succumbed to that cute little sweet innocence of females
go completely away somewhere
somehow
disappear so I can rejuvenate
he or anyone cannot miss you when you are THERE all the time
as a female woman lady girl the real answer is to try to look good at all times..
be quiet
hair and face looking nice
dress in attractive well fitting clothes
and true of many men I have encountered in person or online
do you have to talk so loud and speak with such authority? he asked told me in his loud angry irritated whining voice...
And I WAS speaking softly.
He was the one talking loudly..
Projection of himself onto me.
Very common occurance here.
Way back in about 1989.. I wrote a page describing me. This man told me it was the best he ever read.
Most of us probably are single minded. It is hard to listen to lists of things and absorb all of the information.
His eyes and vision dominate
If my hair or clothes do not look the way he thinks they should look he cannot listen to what I am saying
He does the same thing when he watches a video or someone.
I told him many times he needs to wear a blindfold when I am talking to him.
Once I asked him to close his eyes while we were taking a walk in the neighborhood.
I would hold his hand and he would depend on me to walk.
He refused to do it.
Zero trust in me.
Frequently he interrupts me, cuts me off and says something about my hair, face *especially if I have a little eye makeup on* how "baggy" or too tight or some other critical comment about my clothes.
When I am looking okay he stills cuts me off, finishes my sentences and is often wrong about what I am going to say.
He cannot fully listen to more than one sentence at a time.
When he barges into my room to tell me something it is usually about ONE thing only then he is finished talking and takes off.
then throws in threats like "I will find a woman who works" and
"other women do this or that (and so should you)"
"a woman is supposed to: wear tighter pants not baggy clothes. wear makeup and nail polish. she wears cute little sexy outfits, sexy looking stockings hose hosiery for her husband. must be usable for sex."
so these statements cause confusion in my mind because they are contradictions
i love but and except when
you dont dress how i think you should, you dont do work i think you should, you talk about things that are stupid and dont interest me, you are not available instantly when i want you to do something, you are too slow to respond, you make mistakes in any way, you cant understand what i am trying to explain to you because you are not capable of understanding it; it is too complicated (for your little brain),
Writing can be superior to a conversation if information is clearly stated.
The subject includes details without any interruptions from another person.
It could be anyone wanting anything.
Something they think they lack and need.
They want it and some people think they can steal other peoples things or wear their clothes or mimic them and somehow turn into that person. It can't happen.
You are you and have what you have. Personal idiosyncrasies and habits. Choices. Shape. Size. Mind. Body. Material things. Ambitions. Instincts. Goals. Upbringing.
All unique to each one of us.
for who I am
So far I haven't met that man
However I do have one living best girl friend who seems to truly love me for me and I love her for her. Her name is Beth, short for Elizabeth. Andews is last name.
She lives in Vancouver Washington state
Used to live in Grandview Missouri then moved in early 2000s up to washington
We Have here on hand:
house /home
cases of water
perishable and nonperishable shelf stable food, canned goods in pantry and lazy susan cupboard and refrigerated and frozen food in fridge and huge chest deep freeze/freezer
generators
batteries
radios, televisions ..too many to count
cases of toilet paper
countless coats clothes shoes boots socks gloves
lots of dish soap, dawn, laundry soap, bleach
peroxide, first aid necessities, triple antibiotic ointment, bandages, tape, alcohol, cotton swabs, cotton pads and balls
propane torch
fireplace charcoal lighters
bag full of cigarette lighters
3 vehicles. My van has a full gas tank.
Gasoline containers stored in the shed
heaters
Kerosene heaters
Flashlights, lots of
beverages someone might like soda juice alcohol tea coffee
Firewood fireplace insert with cooktop surface
Smoker, bags of charcoal, lighter fluid, propane grill, flat iron grill
camping coffee pot
Data available on cell phone
Portable cell charger
several chain saws
tree trimming pole trimmers
saws
two brita water filtration units. one is a one gallon, the other a pitcher
lots of books to read
portable lamps that use batteries. mini desk lamps
husband who knows how to pretty much do it all mechanically
me who can cook lots of things and sew and clean and wash and maintain peace in chaos
-----------------------------------------------
If hell breaks loose during this ice and snow storm we might have scenario of human destruction like in twilight zone hitchcock science fiction fact authors movies tv shows
------------------------------------------------
Dont have guaranteed electricity or running water
--------------------------------------------------
We had an ice storm back in like 2001 or so that left us without electricty for almost a week. What fun cooking chili on top of the woodstove and heating up pots of water. It was so wonderful to take a shower after it was all over. Lack causes more appreciation.
Interesting how I had already bought portable battery charger a couple of months ago and just bought some new aa and 9 volt batteries a couple of days ago. A few weeks ago I went thru hall closet and he and I sorted thru old batteries. He was reluctant to do it and threw a fit because he couldn't figure out why I am going through all this stuff sorting and organizing stuff.
Recently I was talking to hub and said we need all these things and more just in case something happens. We still need walkie talkies and cb citizens band radio. A mini portable tv ..we used to have an old black and white television that worked pretty good. Have no idea what happened to it.
You might get the shit hell beat out of you like me. Kicked punched pushed shoved black eyes
You might be killed murdered kidnapped
You might be attacked and raped like me
You might be falsely accused of things you didnt do. Like me
You might survive walk away. The phoenix, alive and stronger
You might run off hide recluse yourself
Tell the world how you survived chronic assaults
Stand up to bullies bullying you or anyone that is tasty prey
Face truth of who you and they are
Face the devil look straight in the eye. Dont flinch. Dont back down in fear
Get slapped in the face literally or figuratively
Stripped. Of dignity. Worldly possessions
Live in the now and future. Remember the past. It is your lessons in the book of life
Restore yourself and be your happy self again armed with your book of life
Key to the cabinet on his key ring
Do know these are in it
Old tax 1040 papers and some earnings statements
Xrated porn mags. Not sure of exact titles. Just saw a glance of a few he had on the floor not long ago when he was looking for old 1040s so he could file city earnings tax
He told me there is a folder or envelope in there he labelled " electric bill" that has a letter he wrote of where important things are that i need in the event of his death or other event where he cant access papers and stuff
Why do i live in this house and not know what all is in it?
And telling what i know to certain people is biggest mistake
the ones who won't talk, won't tell..
the shy ones, insecure
innocent, sweet, honest, sincere
willing to cooperate with anything they say
because they simply don't know any better yet
usually it is the young ones victimized in many different ways who really do not know what is going on
THE WAY I USED TO BE WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.. so painfully shy and so quiet and so afraid to tell anyone about what happened to me at age 4. I never told my mom until I was 16 because of all of the fear, the stigma that goes on and on about being a virgin and pure and all of that.
those quiet ones are easy prey victims to take advantage of
when ignorant and also young it is advantageous to the perp who can suck the life out of them
it is likely they will go along with the perpetrator and not tell on them, the way i didnt tell for 12 long years and was still slow to talk to people until now when i tell it like it was and the way it is with child molesters and other criminals
he has said this many times regarding some people and situations
"i didnt want her to leave so i wouldn't help her move to texas" said regarding some young woman supposedly named polly anna he knew when he was a teenager or in his early 20s. i found this/ my journal entry i wrote back in 2000 or so when he stated this to me.
"he didnt want you to leave" when referring to incident at his uncle norman's place in raytown missouri. norman had taken all 4 brakes off my car back in summer 1987 . the car was sitting up on blocks and i sat there waiting for him to put it back together. norman claimed he couldn't put the brakes back on my car. mike shows up and patiently put all of the brakes back on the car. a 1972 plymouth satellite i owned. dark brown in color.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/captivating-crimes/202008/the-psychological-phases-serial-killers
the psychological phases serial killers
I feel uneasy. He acts strange controlling antisocial paranoid, is jekyll and hyde. Was never popular in school. Collects all kinds of things. Panics if he thinks I will throw anything away out in the garbage.
Grew up in dire poverty. At age 11 had first inside bathroom.
I have no solid proof. Only evidence of his quirky behavior.
Things laying around the house..I found some odd looking jewelry rings and pins in a zip baggie in his computer tray table several weeks ago. Who do they belong to? No clue. I haven't told him I have them. Womens big rings that I would never wear. If I confronted him he would probably say/claim he found them when he used to go metal detecting.
He has lots of trinkets in his bedroom and an unknown number of items in the house and garage and sheds.
Many years ago our neighbor across the street, Donald Rogers, said that the serial killer Richard Grissom was a friend of the man who used to live here. He claimed he saw this guy come in and visit this house several times and he claimed he saw 2 young girls enter this house and never come back out way back in the 90s right before the killer was finally caught. Don said that one night the light was on all night in the garage and he heard very loud machinery noises coming out of the doors clear across the street. ... Several years later I encountered a man who worked at a plus pawn that was at 93rd and blue ridge blvd kcmo and he said he knew the police officer cop who worked on the case. The officers suspected that the girls who came up missing were put into a wood grinder chipper shredder chopper then the bodies disposed of dumped somewhere never to be found. The guy who lived here at the time was in lawn care tree business and owned equipment like that. Might explain why to this day the girls have not been found.
My husband dissed the entire thing saying he didn't believe it. Showed zero interest in discovering any possible evidence that might be here anywhere in the house or on the property. I seriously wanted to have investigators come in and check everything here and use stuff like luminol on all the walls. They say blood stains never go away even if painted over.
he wont watch any stories or news things about killers. he doesnt like horror movies says they are too easy to figure out. he said its all about control, it is that simple.
DYNAMICS OF DICTATOR
The AUTHORITARIAN RULER IN HOUSE
takes off when he/she wants at a moment's notice
sometimes takes off with no notice at all
demands to know when i am or you are
leaving and where i am going
demands respect from me and others
does not respect me or anyone else
appears respectful in public and to neighbors and
criticizes/critiques/ridicules
them all behind their back
entitled
feeling and acting as if he/she deserves any and
everything they want at any time
regardless of how it makes
another person feel
disregards feelings of others
does not care what anyone else wants
judges scrutinizes nitpicks others
cant stand to be judged
criticized or corrected
domineering, pushy, forceful
grandiose superior sense of self
masking their inner feelings of inferiority
doormat: the wife or husband is
condemns humiliates ridicules
mocks the woman wife child husband
walks all over people
takes advantage of any person
that looks like a good candidate
the willing subject to be used to
get something they want
such as:
money, sex, chores, work, duties, someone
to make them look
good in public
the showpiece person is used
as a public display so
strangers will see
they are with a good looking
young attractive smart
famous intelligent or
person who has notoriety
caretaker caregiver
one who pays bills at home
they dont want to pay
person who will do mundane chores
and "shit work" they refuse to do
such as; cleaning, cooking, shopping,
errands, chores, dirty work or any type
of activity they personally hate to do
sneaks around sometimes doing illegal
criminal activities may or may not get caught
thinks they can outsmart authorities like police
government officials
believes they are smarter
more intelligent than everyone else
treats spouse (wife, husband) and
children like morons and idiots and calls
them bad derogatory names like "stupid"
frequently
uses name calling and threats
towards family members
pushes, shoves, throws people around
forces ideas and self upon others
demands that you :
look good
make them look good
take their treatment without complaining
accept gifts that are not exactly what you want
be satisfied with whatever crumb they throw at you
you are to look and act good regardless
of how you feel while
they will often look and act like a monster
they will not look at themselves in the mirror
shapeshifting shapeshift shapeshifters:
suddenly looking nice and good when a neighbor
or stranger is around
smiling at these people they do not live with
what would the neighbors think is one
of their mottoes
what will other people think of me of you
you are supposed to appreciate everything they do
while they can criticize and condemn
whatever they want about you
will not tolerate being criticized
they will get you the wrong thing/'gift' often
and act like they are doing you a favor
they expect me/you to give them precisely
what they want
and will throw a fit, complain,
demand you take back an item
that does not suit them
most of the time whatever you get for them
or what you do is wrong and not enough
never satisfied with what they have
looking for the better anything or anyone
grass is greener on other side of fence mentality
hypocritical
do as i say not as i do
prejudice prejudiced
walks far ahead of me/you when talking a walk in park
or hiking or shopping ..does not want to
walk beside me anywhere
family members suffer and over the years
the wife/husband/children begin
looking tired, worn out, distraught, drained
and often succumb to illnesses and disorders
including addictions addictive behaviors
such as:
eating disorders anorexia, bilumia, overeating,
obesity
any physical disorder that they were not born with
but acquired due to chronic stress
inflicted upon by the dictator
mental disorders: anxiety, panic attacks, bipolar,
schizophremia, virtually any kind of psychological
issue indicating the person is off balance,
not normal, not right and disrupts the
natural life force of the individual
he has poor planning skills and avoids anything planned out on the calendar
if he has a plan to do something and knows time he is high pressure during the entire episode
usually he takes off at the last minute so i have hardly any notice or idea where he is going
spontaneous
some things he insists upon acting fast
some things he waits until last minute to do like sending money to anyone or gift giving
ORGANIZATION
items are randomly here and there
not ergonomic sometimes
items ought to be closer together when working on things
food put on plate is far away from utensil at times
he seems to prefer mismatched items
clutter, chaos, disorder
piles of stuff laying around
cardboard boxes for things so you cant see what is in the box
----------------
hall closet organization. he got upset
bedroom 2 ; he got upset
his bedroom; says he likes it just the way it is and it will stay that way
his bathroom; cluttered with piles all over counter, floor, in the shower stall. shower loaded with many miscellaneous bottles of stuff various sizes some small hotel size shampoo lotion etc which are almost empty
he wont fix or clean up the bathroom upstairs
garage; loaded with thousands of items many of which i dont even know what is in there
shed in backyard
shed attached to the house
my vehicle. if he sees me in it organizing or washing thinks he has to take over
refrigerator; puts little containers and sometimes little bags of junk in there so it is hard to find things requiring moving a bunch of stuff around to get some food out. drives me nuts
He wants no responsibility for anyone except himself. And that is questionable.
You better not cost me any money. You better not rack up any bills in my name. You do we will get a divorce.
I dont want to be responsible for your sons. I want no responsibility for Clayton said beginning in 1991 after I moved in and said 1987 summer I lived with him. He told me to go back to live with my husband and raise my child in 1987.
I dont want responsibility for the welfare of any child or children anywhere.
Reflections and memories for years.
He wants no responsibility for anyone. He often states he doesnt want the cat that my oldest son Rick gave to us in 2015. After he shot and killed our last cat because she was sick vomiting alot we had for 20 years back in 2018 or so he said he didnt want any more cats. No pets at all. He wants no veterinary costs or bills.
He wants no medical bills for himself or me.
He complains vehemently about every bill we have. Bare basic bills. Utilities. Electricity. Water. Property taxes for house 2 cars 1 pickup truck. Car insurance. Never have a balance on a credit card or anything and pay interest. He accuses any place of collecting interest on the money if you pay them early. He pays the day before the due date on bills so the companies wont collect interest on his money.
He says he cant control his feelings and emotions and when he gets upset and verbally or physically abuses me. It is all my fault. That I made him do it.
"I wouldnt have done that if you hadnt have pissed me off"
Just go away. Go live with somebody else somewhere else. You can go live with your dad, mom, son, ex husband...
what everyone else is doing
what is "famous" on the menu
neighbors, watches intently
money is his god. gold, silver prices
there is always another woman, car, etc
what am i supposed to say or do?
you better not rack up any bills my name
you better not cost me any money
cheap tightwad
never buys a car until after first of year because of owing property taxes
does things out of duty/obligation/guilt/ external reasons
social security concerned about others getting used to think self employed meant you get no ss
authoritarian dictator control freak micromanager
ruler of household
demands respect from everyone and does not respect anyone in his house
does not respect me or children
says this is my house i will say and do what i want
i don't care what you want
how much do you think that costs?
how much did that cost? (when I buy something)
locations and hours of businesses
and the repeat comments of things he says that he has said hundreds or thousands of times and acts like it is the first time telling me
